Her heart hadn't always been so delicate, she hadn't always been so fragile nor would she be forever, she had to heal and it would take time. She would never forget but she could move on. With time, patience , love and care.
Carolyn had washed the vomit from her hair, she had avoided looking at the scars her body held. She made sure the woman her son had fallen for was clean, she made sure she was okay.
With her daughters they had always been independent, losing Kathy when she was only 15 killed Carolyn inside, she wished she'd been there more, forcing herself into their lives even if they protested.
When Nancy was pregnant she hated the soppiness, she wasn't an attentive parent. She had nannies from the moment her first born turned 5 months old. Carolyn never had these moments with her own children.
Growing up Nancy had been a daddy's girl but once she turned 18 she left for college, studied and wanted nothing much to do with her family unless it benefited her in some way. She was always distant with Carolyn.
Lizzy until she was six had been a mumma's princess. But she soon turned to wanting to play alone. From 16 she was always with a boy, she would study but also go out on long weekends.
Amelia, well she had always been difficult. From age 9 she would lock herself in her room, by 16 she was drinking illegally and stealing, 18 she was having sex and long weekends. She left for college and came back a different girl.
Carolyn had never experienced this before, she felt priviledged that Meredith had allowed her to help.
She helped Meredith into a pair of shorts and vest, dryed her hair and tied it back before tucking her into the covers of her bed.
"Thank you"Were the words Meredith barely formed before snuggling deeply into the covers. Derek walked in shortly after.
"Thank you ma."He hugged her tightly looking down at the sleeping beauty, "Love you"He whispered bending to kiss her head.
"She is your person Derek"Carolyn smiled warmly.
"I know. You get some rest, photos tomorrow he reminded, he could see clearly Meredith was struggling to keep her eyes closed. The mother and son shared a look before Carolyn left to bed.
Derek stripped to his boxers, he knew when she felt like this his skin calmed her. Within seconds of him getting into the bed she had snuggled into him, he was her security.
The rest of the night through to the morning seemed to go smoothly. She slept through without a bad dream. She didn't wake up when Derek moved from her in the morning. She even slept through him showering and changing into his black trousers, grey shirt, black suit jacket and socks. He knew they had time to he left her to sleep.
"I walked her for you"Fred spoke as Derek stroked Sky's head softly.
"Thank you, I will wake Meredith up soon." Derek sat beside his mum.
The time passed by so quickly as they caught up on things. Carolyn and Fred wanted to move to the area. They felt rested here, it all felt natural. Derek had suggested them moving to the 3 bed cottage he owned that overlooked the water. They would think about it but he knew it was highly likely.
He was about to stand when he heard the light noise of her steps, he smiled turning expecting to see a tired girl. But it was the opposite.
She stood, her hair perfectly curled, a natural makeup look wearing a pink ruffled off the shoulder maternity dress which went all the way to her calves. Her bump perfectly emphasised through the dress.
"You look..."Derek walked towards her. "Stunning" He placed a kiss to her freshly washed hair, he could tell she had showered again.
Her eyes met his as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Her nose brushing his as his arms wrapped around her frame.
"Thank you, for last night. You were amazing. I love you"Her voice so calm as she relaxed into his arms. After a long embrace she repeated the action with Carolyn . "Thank you Mrs Shepherd, you really helped and supported me."Carolyn wiped the small lipgloss mark from Meredith's upper lip.
"You my dear don't need to thank me. Its Carolyn. I must say you look beautiful" Meredith thanked her lightly and returned the compliment in her own words.
/
"You work here"Fred asked as they walked into the large elevator. Meredith smiled.
"I do, i do. Follow me"She gripped Derek's hand as they reached the floor they needed. Stepping out she felt the familiar feeling of safety and warmth fill her.
"Classy place"Carolyn let out looking at different pieces of art and photos that had been taken.
Meredith was about to speak when an excited voice intercepted.
"My girl" She felt her heart warm, a blood felt warm again.
"Nat"She breathed out. Natalie was one of Meredith's safe havens. They had been close since they were 4.
"I have missed you so much. Oh god you look so healthy."Natalie looked at her friend with pure adoration. "They are in the room you requested. I will come in soon."Natalie licked her lips as she passed Derek. She wasn't sure yet on who the handsome dark haired man who stood by her friend was.
Meredith led the Derek and his parents to the room, she pushed the door open of course her family sat there. Ellis, Richard, Maggie, Winston , Lexie and Mark.
.Lexie hugged her tightly as did Ellis, "Mum, Dad. Meet Carolyn and Fred Shepherd, Derek's parents"Meredith introduced.
"You are the amazing woman who created the girls who made my boys happy"Carolyn pulled Ellis into an instant embrace which she accepted to the shock of many.
Meredith walked to the camera, looking at it she knew it was hers, from home. Her head felt fuzzy as the voice all melted together. Of course Derek worked with everyone in the room and Carolyn fit right in. No one was focused on her.
No one could see the pain in her eyes. No one could see her hands trembling.
She looked up to the exit seeing a familiar figure. She walked over slowly. Ignoring her gut.
"I knew you would be here today"His voice wasn't cold like his brothers, his gaze was soft. "I'm sorry" James looked down "You chose the wrong brother. Both of my brothers are asses. You and I could have been"Meredith looked down hearing the conversation behind her settle.
"Why are you here" she questioned.
Derek was about to walk towards them when Lexie stopped him.
"Don't. He is the good brother. I always liked James. Why didn't she sleep with him"Lexie let her thoughts out as Maggie hissed at her.
"Lexie... Derek is right there"Maggie pointed out.
"I know...i am just saying. They would have been cute."Maggie nudged her again.
"Lexie Grey. Respect your sister and her choice of who she chose to sleep with"Ellis folded her arms.
"Well she chose a shitty guy"A statement of which they all agreed with.
"Does he like her?"Derek asked slightly insecure.
"She is all for you Shepherd. Don't sweat it" Winston chuckled having heard her talk about him for hours. "I will go see what he is doing here"
Winston walked to Meredith and James.
"You are here because"Winston spoke sharply.
"I want to know too"Meredith looked at him.
"I bought the camera and i got you these back. I had the locks changed. Josh is inside for now. Take care of yourself" He seemed rattled as he walked away.
"My house keys"Meredith clutched the metal in her hands. "Its over"She looked up to Winston. "Its finally ending Winston" Her eyes filled with hope.
"It is Mer. It is over"Winston gripped her hand. "Now go set up that camera"
She walked back, Derek meeting her as she did.
"You okay"He asked touching her cheek.
"I am, i'm free. I have this"She placed it in Derek's hand. "I don't want to go alone. You are my safe place. I want to go there but i .."She struggled to let it out.
"Never alone. I will obviously come. I love you Mer. You know i love you." Meredith pulled him to her, forgetting where she was she latched her lips onto his.
Resisting her wasn't something he was going to do, he allowed her to kiss him, he allowed her tongue access to his mouth.
"Oh my jesus. No way. I am not watching how you guys made your baby"Lexie squealed. Meredith slowly pulled away.
"It was different to that Lex"Meredith smirked. In her head she pictured how their night would have been. How he would really feel if he touched her.
"Gross"Lexie shook her head.
After fifteen minuted everyone began talking as well as watching Meredith and Natalie set up the camera.
"Your lens on this is great. Where is it from"Natalie asked
"The photography store on Cole street. Have you seen this"Meredith pulled out the stand, wincing as her baby kicked her harshly. "Ouch"She felt the area, her babies feet meeting it again over and over. "Derek come tell your baby to stop kicking me"She pouted. Natalie frowned as Derek wrapped his arms around Meredith.
"Now my little princess you need to stop kicking. These pictures are for you" Derek placed his hand over the area, feeling the harsh kicks change into smaller ones.
The look of jealousy on Nat's face was a look Lexie saved within her mind.
The entire shoot Meredith laughed, smiled.
It was more than a pleasure for everyone, watching the pure joy on her face. The way she smiled with Derek was a smile they had never seen before.
She looked proud to be with him as they stood together, posing for the camera both holding the large swell that carried their baby.
Derek made sure he took his own photos on his phone of moments the camera wouldn't capture including the way Meredith smiled with his mum, how they interacted, including the giggle fit she had with Lexie and Maggie, including her pulling faces in the 10 minute break.
He hadn't seen her so carefree and happy. He knew even more than ever in that moment that she was his entire future.
"So, Mr Shepherd is it"Natalie smiled as Rachel took photos of Lexie, Mark, Carolyn and Fred. Derek looked her up and down, she was one of the girls who threw herself at him on his first meeting with Meredith. She had the injected lips and lifted brows. He let out a small laugh. Relaxing as he felt the touch he longed from the woman he loved.
"Hey babe"Meredith yawned hugging him from behind. The exhaustion evident in her voice. She rested lightly on his back her fingers running up and down his chest as a way to calm herself . Natalie sighed lightly looking at them. She loved Meredith but didn't understand how she had Derek. Considering she was pregnant and in the eyes of Nat "Natural Boring"
"Hey, you. You sound tired"He turned to face her. She nodded lightly once his eyes met hers. "You are unreal though"He placed a kiss to her hair.
"She is kicking sooo hard. It has been the best day ever. I love your mum and dad so much. I have my keys. Its all good. Most of all i have you. You are the greatest ever ever."Her soft soppy side one he hadn't seen often but the one he loved the most.
"So he is the dad and not Josh"Natalie frowned
"It is complicated. He is a woman abuser. I slept with Meredith when i knew i shouldn't. We met again. She got out of her situation and we realised we loved each other and that this baby was mine and not his. He is dirty and he is a vile human."Derek was short with Natalie. Meredith thanked him as he led her back to the area. Leaving Natalie confused, happy for Meredith slightly yet jealous of the man she had landed.
With a jealous look she walked away not wanting the jeopardise her friendship.
For the hour that followed Meredith took pictures with Lexie, Mark and Derek. Ones of her and Lexie alone. More with Fred and Carolyn, a group one, some of Derek and Mark.
It was magic.