Written: 2/28/23
Word Count: 1,815
Tenna's sleeping, peaceful face was wrinkle-free. Her every breath left her body in a smooth exhale. No worries, no tension.
People want to believe everything is fine. They don't want to listen to that part in their mind that looks at suspicious behavior as a sign of worse things lying under the surface.
Evan and Tenna have gone back and forth in their relationship, years before the kids even came into the picture. They were middle school sweethearts. Then they were high school sweethearts. Then, they became parents shortly after graduation.
I'm 24. My sister is only 23, and she already has a three-year-old and a one-year-old.
I never understood what drew Ten and Evan to one another, sparking like electrical wires writhing in the wind, only to fall away, their sparks fading to the quiet fizzling of an energy current that won't connect.
I never understood, but I also never questioned it.
It's so bizarre to have witnessed a couple be together since they were twelve. On again, off again. The first breakup. The first high school dance. The first girlfriend other than Tenn. The serenades outside this apartment when Ten was pregnant with Rinley.
They didn't have any shared interests—they didn't do anything together for fun. No couples activities.
Really, their relationship has never made a lick of sense. It's so hard to form my thoughts around the whole idea of it, after the years and years it's morphed to get to this point.
Maybe it was that confusion that slowly disintegrated Mom and Dad's understanding and patience. Maybe that overwhelming sense of not understanding their relationship was the first nail in the coffin between them and Ten.
But, had I always been supportive? Had I ignored signs I shouldn't have? Was Evan just angry yesterday, or was there more to the story? The tears, the shaking, the kids' patience sitting in a car for hours...
Had I always done right by my sister, or had I avoided it because I felt it was easier to pretend not to understand someone so intrinsically different from myself?
Am I to blame for what happens next?
What is going to happen next?
Is it really my responsibility to become so ingrained in my sister's relationship problems?
"Gra—cie?"
I blinked, my body twitching a little where it lay facing Tenna on my full-size bed. Our faces were close enough for me to make out the individual pores around her nose and the faint freckles—much fainter than mine—across her sun-tanned cheeks.
I cleared my throat, speaking quietly. "G'morning."
"How long was I asleep?" Tenna asked, digging her knuckles into her eyes. She turned onto her back, her spine cracking first thing in the morning.
I smiled, doing the same. Only, my back produced a series of cracks that sounded like fireworks.
"You've been asleep since like 8," I informed her. "I don't know what time it is, but the sun's up and the birds are quiet. Late-morning is my guess."
I can't believe I was so exhausted from yesterday's emotions that I'd slept past eight. Getting up every day at four in the morning kind of ruined "sleeping in" for me.
Guess all it took was a family meltdown for me to break that cycle.
Tenna sighed, long and hard. In a quiet voice, she said, "I suppose you're gonna harass me now."
"Yup."
Ten sighed again, this time covering her eyes with both of her hands. Pressing her palms into her eye sockets, I let her calm herself for a moment, before getting up.
"I'll give you a minute," I said, "while I use the bathroom and warm the milk for the kits. Then, you better be ready for hell."
As soon as I opened the door, I came face-to-face with a masked Kakashi in a loose gray sweatshirt. My heart literally jumped, my hands flying to the trainwreck falling from my head. But it was already too late to hide the monstrosity sitting on top of my head.
"I can take them," he said.
I blinked.
"I can take them," he repeated, and my mind finally processed what was happening.
Hable and Sintar!
"Um," I stuttered, moving painfully slow across my carpet to retrieve the box of mewling kittens. My ankles cracked with each weird step, forcing an embarrassed flush to my face as my sister and Kakashi listened to how decrepit my body had become since starting work as a cashier.
Returning to the doorway, I placed the box gently into his waiting palms. "Thanks?"
Kakashi's eyes closed into half-moons as he smiled. I could see his lips curve up in an infectious grin, the outline just barely visible against his tight-fitting mask.
I blinked, forcing myself to look away. The hell are you looking at his lips for?
"No problem," he said, his voice uncharacteristically cheerful. "You're my comrade, remember? I'm only thinking of you first."
From the bed, Tenna let out a little gasp that turned into a cough, and I silently made my way down the shadowed, narrow hallway to the bathroom at the end.
Closing the door, I forced myself not to make any noise as I allowed a full fifteen minutes of fangirling, my heart pumping mad enough to beat straight out of my chest.
How can someone be that handsome? It's against the laws of nature, isn't it?
He's like a dangerous species—like those pretty snakes that lure you in with their bright colors, only to bite you and filter in a severely fatal dose of poison! He doesn't even need a tail to hypnotize others! Not with those shoulders.
Twenty minutes and one quick shower later, I sat on the edge of my bed, waiting for Tenna to return to the bedroom. Five of the shortest minutes of my life passed before she returned, closing the door behind her without needing to turn the knob.
Really should get that fixed...
Ten perched on the same edge of my bed, our positions mirroring each other, one of each of our legs swinging off the bed's side.
A beat passed, two, when I finally made the first move. Sitting so that my legs were crossed, Ten and I started talking at the same time.
"Just what is going on with you and that muscled hunk?"
"So, what the hell happened yesterday?"
A beat.
"It's not that big of a deal! We should go get breakfast or something—"
"We are not talking about me right now! And there's nothing! Nothing going on!"
A beat.
I held a hand up. "I'm talking now. You shut up and listen, k?"
Tenna pouted, crossing her arms over her chest in a silent glare.
"I need to know why you drove thirty minutes over here, crying."
Tenna stayed silent, that glare turning into a pitiful look of avoidance as her hands fidgeted with the rumpled bed sheets.
"I need to know, Tenn. Spill it."
"He wants—he said..." Tenna's voice was low and petulant, a slight tremble in her hands as she continued to avoid my eyes, playing ceaselessly with the ridges in the covers. With a great sigh, she let out the rest of her words, all in a rush, "He said he wants to move back to where his family is originally from. Where his dad is."
I blinked. "But that's across the country. That's Colorado, not Illinois."
Tenna nodded.
I couldn't wrap my mind around it. "That's a—what—three hour plane trip? A seventeen hour car ride? Seriously? That Colorado?"
Tenna simply nodded again.
I leaned back, scooting on the bed until my spine rested against the headboard. "Wow. And that's why you ran away?"
Tenna stayed quiet, but I didn't press her for more.
I didn't know where to go from here, either.
Finally, I took the plunge yet again, and said, "And...what do you think?"
For the first time that morning, Tenn's eyes—a dark hazel with just a touch of the green from mine—looked straight at me, only to flitter away once more. "I—I don't know."
Steepling my elbows onto my knees, I leaned forward in concentration. "Okay. Alright. So. He wants to take you and the kids to Colorado. Isn't that a—a good thing? Doesn't that show he wants to be with you, with the kids? Isn't that proof?"
Tenna shrugged. "I guess."
Choosing my words carefully, I asked, "Is there a—reason—why this isn't good news?"
Tenna bit her lip, refusing to speak. Or maybe not knowing what to say. I really couldn't tell, and I wondered if my mind was trying to make everything into a sign that something bad was happening.
People want to believe in the best possible outcome...until they see the first sign that it's not.
But am I jumping to conclusions? She hasn't said anything.
"Is it because...you'll miss all your friends from Illinois?" I asked, uncertain how to bring up the issue my mind kept circling around to, again and again.
Should I just ask her straight out? Would that give her reason to lie to me? Should I instead try coaxing it from her with roundabout questions, or will that only make me look more suspicious than I need to be?
A furrow appeared between my brows. "Feel free to start talking any time, Ten, or I fear I'm going to start thinking Evan's become some manipulative abuser who wants to alienate you from any possible escape routes."
Tenna's head reeled up in shock, her eyes giant. "What? No! No, that's not it! How could you even think that?"
Somewhat flustered and relieved, I snapped, "You're not saying anything. He pushed me yesterday! He's never done that before! I was worried he was starting to show his true colors."
"That surprised me, too," Tenna said quietly. "He's never done anything like that to me. I swear, Gracie. I swear."
"Why should I believe you?"
Tenna cocked her head, confused. "Because I'm not lying?"
Finally, I sighed in relief. "Okay. Then, if that's not the issue..."
"Fine." Tenna threw her hands up, bouncing the bed a little with the movement. "Fine, I'll tell you. Just promise me you won't be mad."
I shook my head. "No. I know I'm gonna be mad. But so what? That's never stopped you from doing anything before. Just spill it."
I settled back against the headboard, watching Tenna's entire body slump in defeat.
Closing her eyes, her words merely a whisper, she said, "I'm beginning to regret...this. Maybe. I don't know."
Something sunk deep, deep into my stomach, but I forced my expression to remain steady. I forced myself to play through it. "Regret what?"
"I know you've said this a million times, but..." Tenna wilted before my eyes, "things with Ev aren't—aren't that, like you thought—but they aren't...they aren't...great, either."
She looked at me, but I could give her nothing.
I knew her the best after all.