Tsume P.O.V
???: Rejoice! Oh blessed soul! for you have been chosen for the ever glorious process of reincarnation!
What? Who is this... big and blinding orb of light in front of me? What's with the obnoxious voice too?
Tsume: Am I dead? If you don't answer fast enough I'll kill you.
The orb looked to drop for a bit but quickly regained it's original position, perhaps I can kill it? But I should hear it out first, it probably knows more about this situation I find myself in then I do. Unless this just so happens to be my imagination before death, and this is just the headlight of the truck mixing in with the voice of the driver, either way this is weird.
Authoritas: I am Authoritas! Head God of the Divine Realm! The one who wields all authority over all that is holy and divine! The one and only honored one throughout the heavens and earth, who has chosen you as a blessed soul for reincarnation! Rejoice!
Tsume: Sounds like a door to door cult recruiter. Plus you didn't answer my question, you just said useless things. That's it, I'm going to kill you. Now where is my knife?
Authoritas: I just got off the hook of the other one trying to kill me, and yet this one is already trying to do so as well?! No matter if the very fabric of existence itself changes... they are truly similar...
I feel like that orb is insulting me somehow, but with all of this going on right now, it might just be my imagination. I can't really tell from just a floating orb anyway, not much of facial expressions to go by, but there is tone and the like.
Tsume: *Sigh* It seems I don't have any of my equipment on me, oh well...
Authoritas: T-that's right! Which is why-
Tsume: Guess I'll have to do this bare handed. It might get a bit messy and I haven't killed talking light before, but I'm sure I can figure it out along the way. So come on, if you come here yourself I'll make it slightly quicker. It'll be fun! Trust me!
I approach the talking light that proclaims itself to be a god, but it seems it's had enough and summons what appears to be a multitude of weapons of light... huh... never had a victim fight back this much before. Either I'm truly going insane or I really died and somehow ended up in heaven, but I doubt it, I'm me after all.
Authoritas: Listen! I tell you to rejoice and yet you resort so quickly to violence! Just listen for a mere moment and perhaps you would understand the situation, you imbeci-
Suddenly I feel a shudder... is this fear? I'm feeling fear? What an odd feeling, I dislike it. But I wonder... is it coming from that orb over there? It appears not as it too seems to be shaking and the weapons it summoned vanished. I also swear I heard a faint maniacal cackle, but at this point I'm not quite sure what is real or not.
Authoritas: I mean oh great blessed soul! Please listen out the reason and blessings that shall be given to you in a timely manner! First off, to answer your question, yes! You are dead! The sacred agent in service of the great vehicle god Truckallion has done it's job cleanly! Rejoice!
Tsume: You're telling me to rejoice because being run over by a truck is a great blessing somehow?
I really don't get this, but the orb did say something about reincarnation. But if so, couldn't that have been done at the end of my life by natural causes? Surely killing me off this early on in my life can't be considered a blessing. I didn't have any part in this and yet they did so anyways, though I suppose this must be the justice and karma some of my victims- I mean toys talked about.
Authoritas: Yes, I am telling you to rejoice from being run over from a truck since it wasn't just any truck. It was a divine agent of reincarnation! Because through this death you have been made eligible for great blessings from the Divine Realm and it's glorious inhabitants! A moment that should truly be rejoiced for!
Hmm, so in exchange for getting my life ended early, they compensate me with so called blessings? I guess I can find this arrangement acceptable. Though that entirely depends on where they will reincarnate me and what these blessings are exactly. If this whole deal turns out to be bad, I'll just go ahead and snap their necks or something. I always wanted to try and kill a god!
Tsume: So what exactly are these blessings then? I hope they're worthwhile, is it something along the lines of being a genius? A lot of money? Something as absurd as superpowers?
Authoritas: No! You shall become a being that truly is divine! A being worshipped as all mighty and all knowing! Rejoice in it's closeness to the Divine Realm itself! A Divine Dragon!
Divine Dragon? What the hell am I supposed to do if I become a giant lizard?! I know some people said I'm cold blooded, but I doubt they meant it in the literal sense like this.
Tsume: So in return for killing me, you turn me into a giant lizard. Really?
Authoritas: Ah, I see your issue now. Do not worry, you shall retain a human form, although one would still have the capability of transforming if you so desire.
Ah, I see now, so it is more of an option that I can choose to become anytime. I guess that is useful, if it follows what dragons normally do which is flying and breath attacks. In fact that would be very useful for me, fast and easy arson and murder. Hmm, yup, this deal seems rather good right now.
Tsume: Alright, I agree to this deal.
Authoritas: But there wasn't even an option to refuse given... ughh... very well! Let your reincarnation into DxD-
The feeling of fear from before returns, yet this time it feels specifically targeted at... Authoritas, I believe his name was? Is it a he? Not that it matters, this orb seems like an underpaid service worker.
Authoritas: A mere slip of the tongue. I meant that now begins your blessed reincarnation into the grand yet cruel world of Re:Zero! Rejoice!
With that a massive circle of light encircles me, growing brighter and brighter until I cannot see anything but white. What is this, the morning sun? For what reason is this damn thing so bright, my eyes are already going to be dead when I reincarnate at this rate. But... a fictional world? Full of magic and special powers? So...
...
Many people to kill! Schemes to be made! Lies to tell! This is gonna be fun!
...
But... am I going to pass out or wha-
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Third Person P.O.V
The circle of light had completely enveloped the soul that was Tsume, and made her unconscious in the process of transporting her to the desired realm. Authoritas was awkwardly waiting there, but no other gods had come to give their blessings or gifts for an unknown reason.
Authoritas: I said she will receive blessings from the residents of the Divine Realm, but besides myself who was obligated to do this, everyone else was too scared to make another monster like her and so held off. Might as well toss in an extra blessing then to make up for it-
A blur of purple and pink came rushing in, and tossed a mysterious glob of light a similar color at the soul that was currently in the process of being transported to the world of Re:Zero.
Authoritas: Yurius... just what blessing did you just put in there?
The figure grinned, a devilish grin that had no good intentions behind it. Well... lewd intentions were indeed behind it.
Yurius: Well since I couldn't change this one's gender because of how the reset worked, I just... may or may not have given her a thigh fetish?
Authoritas: It's... fine I suppose, a blessing is a blessing either way. But what about the demon lords?
Yurius: I mean they were responsible for making her as powerful as she was, so they held off their gifts this time as well. We don't really need another calamity waiting to happen in this place you know?
Authoritas: I can agree with that, but since I'm sure she'll get pissed off if her successor got killed too easily, I'll throw in another blessing to be safe.
Yurius: What is that blessing then?
Authoritas: A blessing which makes the body as strong as the mightiest of armor! A blessing that can defy death itself! God Hand! Rejoice!
Yurius: Hmm... that is pretty powerful, but compared to that monster I guess it's fine. Welp, I have some hot women I found to play around with, so see ya!
As fast as the mysterious figure arrived, she disappeared. As for Authoritas, he simply sighed about as much as an all powerful being of light could, and proceeded to go back to managing affairs relating to existence itself.
Authoritas: At least this one went smoothly...
But that figure that just vanished had returned just as quickly.
Yurius: Hey! You think I could get away with giving her a mommy kin-
Authoritas: Absolutely not!
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Tsume P.O.V
Oww... my head hurts... so I rub it a bit and open my eyes in confusion after noting how... small my hands felt? Also at the fact my hair was this long, I kept it just above shoulder length since long hair always got bloodstains all over it or would snag on something. I look down at my hands and see they are indeed small.
But that's not the only small thing, I'm wearing some strange blue medieval plate armor? So I stand up to take a better look and note another odd thing, I'm short, really short. I woke up under a tree and it looks massive, plus the ground is awfully close. So unless the world of Re:Zero had massive trees I am probably short.
Oh yes, Re:Zero, that is the world I now find myself in according to that god. Yes, I know what it is, I had more hobbies besides murder and lying. I might not have gotten the same emotional response most people would feel watching such things, but the suffering and action was not lost on me, so I had fun either way.
Ah that too, not only am I now in a fictional world, I had died. I guess mom would be worried, but quite frankly I don't care all too much. She had served her purpose, in fact she should be grateful I didn't stab her in the back. With my thoughts sorted out I look around to see a field of green with a few trees dotted here and there, it seems I appeared in a plain of sorts-
*Thunk*
I feel a sensation on the back of my head and look around confused, just to see a giant dog? Must be a mabeast then since it's the world of Re:Zero, I wonder how I didn't notice that, perhaps I was too lost in my own thoughts-
*Thunk*
I feel it hit me square in the face with a claw swipe, and yet again it feels as if a toddler lightly tapped my cheek. Really, isn't this thing quite rude? I'm just standing here not even responding to it's attacks, not that I am concerned since it seems it can't even scratch me. It goes in for another swipe but I catch it.
*Crunch*
It seems I might have squeezed a bit too hard as it's arm sort of turned into a pretzel. I tug a bit more and the arm comes clean off. The mabeast has also been howling in pain all this time, but I ignore it. Hmm... it seems the god wasn't lying, I certainly did get a blessing of some kind seeing as there is no way a body this small should be able to do this.
Also, seeing as I couldn't kill that god and I have no weapons, beating this thing to death will have to do. I try kicking it and the thing's chest seems to implode and crumple in on itself before it's internal organs splatter out like a confetti cannon of flesh. Seeing all of this carnage in front of me I smile in glee and talk out loud in an unfamiliar voice.
Tsume: Hehehe.... Hahahahaha! This is fun! Thank you random god for letting me loose on this world!
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END
A/N: This chapter is shorter than my usual 4-5k words, same for the prologue, but I'll end up writing like a maniac and going overboard at some point anyways. Not much to say here besides the fact that the God Hand may or may not end up recharging lives through... a slightly bloodier methods than the original. Anyways remember to comment, vote, or something, so yeet-