"This that shit I be talking about" I say watching her run out the door causing me to run and catch her by her hair.
"osamaa let my hair go g" she yelled at me
"You stay doing childish shit" I say holding her by her shirt like a newborn pup
"dammit osama turn her lose dammit" spike corny ass yelled from the porch cause the rest of the dick riders to laugh
"said i was sorry" she said giggling and shit pissing me off more.
"and I said i understand that" I say bringing my attention back to her wild ass.
"so why you doing all this infront of them" she said blowing me cause I don't give no fucks abt them lil niggas onnat porch.
"Armoni you played and fucked around when I was all about you. you wasn't all about me man i'm just living" I tell her not really meaning nun of that shit fr I don't want nobody but armoni ass I just do this shit cause she does it.
"osama just stop"
"stop what living so you can keep listening to them bird ass bitches red and spike running around here with. Them bitches gotchu lookin dumb they going home to they man faithfully you the only one" I ask her silly ass moving closer to her making her fall into a car trapping her between my arms
you-
"they niggas not forcing them in a relationship they took they time. osama you rush everything we ain't never had no fun everything always been on your time how you want it when you want" she said looking up at me making me completely lose my shit.
"I don't care what everybody else got going on Armoni that's the difference we gone be together. I want you and ima have you." I say pushing my finger against her head as she leaned onto some car.
you can't-
"Armoni Ion wanna keep repeating the same shit" he said as I let him drag me back into the house
"what's the same shit? how you forcing some that ain't there no more ? Ahmad this highschool shit you went to jail i moved on with my life" she said making me stop in my tracks and turn around
"moved on with your life? forcing shit ?"
" yes osama"
"so when I came back that night what I forced you to fuck me ?" I ask shocking her
I could tell she was shocked cause she was choking on her words. "no that's not what i'm saying"
Turning around walkin back inna house I tell her "well you sure got it seeming like i'm some weirdo nigga rapping you and shit"
" no I wasn't saying-
making me cut her off "but you implied right?"
"osama what ?"
"nah I see whatchu getting at this whole relationship was made up in my head right I'm just dragging you along and shit huh ?"
"no your not fucking listening, you listening to argue instead of tryna solve the issue"
"moni baby it ain't no issue you creating one, why we can't do what we been doing" I say as we walked back to one of the bedrooms
"cause it's not right you don't see we hurting each other you blinded by love that ain't good love" she said sitting in the bed cris cross. while I stood across from her leaning onna closet door.
"you sound like everybody" I replied taking off my shirt.
"yeah everybody osama cause everybody can see what you can't"
"why you wanna leave me so bad? what about me not good enough? what them niggas got that I don't moni?" I asked rambling through the closet for another white tee.
" It ain't what you don't got it's what you have too much of" she told me confusing tf outta me. I could never really understand what moni mean by that shit I mean I do everything for her. she don't gotta worry abt shit when she wit me I take care of her even when we not together. I took care of her while I was in jail.
" And what that is" I ask her grabbing a new shirt putting it over my head.
"you got problems Ahmad" she said looking me in my eyes.
"You just like everybody else you get what you want from me then leave" I said opening the door getting ready to leave out
"I want her to be with me and only me when it comes down to a relationship. Not no just fucking.
"You know I love you right? " Was this a fucking trick question?
"Yes and I love you too armoni"
"You just not fa me nomore"
"I can't let you go, told you it seem like no matter how far I go to get away from you God push me right back"
"i know"
"nah you don't youn get it when i can't have you i get this feeling in my chest like it hurt like my mind start spinning ion be able to eat focus nun of that damn near can't breathe without you"
"why do you do that" she asked genuinely
"do what tell you how i fell" i ask her
" yes you fuckin guilt trip me when i'm tryna free you. you got everyone thinking im fucked up but it's YOU. your still holding on not me" she said
"so gon on monii but i promise don't nobody and i mean nobody know you like i know you and nobody gone put it with what I do. but you gon see"
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"you a drop me off by my Auntie crib spike? i'm too high to be driving" i ask him cause i needed to be wit somebody tonight.
"coo I was heading west anyway so that's decent you ready ?" he asked
"yeah lemme go make this cup then here i come." I say walkin toward the kitchen
After I made my cup spike was already in the car so I just walked out. Car ride to my og house was decent wasn't no talkin foreal spike I guess could sense ian wanna talk much.
"lemme come speak to ya auntie for she be calling me cursing me out" spike mumbled. makin me just nod in response
soons he pulled up and we both hopped out.
"Auntie nicki" I yell walkin through the house with spike behind me.
"I'm inna back room saint cut allat hollering out"she hollered.
"heyyy tt" spike followed behind me to the room she was in
after A while I left the room with them and went to hers and sat on her bed waiting for her. Finally I heard spike and her at the door so I knew he was leaving out
"Thank you spike" she said I guess
she could tell he was in pain it was all over his face. he'd told his auntie what happened between he and Armoni
"come on baby"
osama felt as if the walls were closing in on him as if everything he worked hard and built was coming down on him his life was falling apart,moni was what he knew what kept him sane while he was in prison he couldn't wait to get back to her
Osama's life was a puzzle and Armoni was the piece holding everything together. she was what kept him sane. all those cold lonely nights in jail he thought of moni and how when he got back home he would make up for all their lost time together. now without her things would slowly fall apart.
"breathe baby breathe" my auntie whispered rubbing circles on my back
"Aa-auntie" me and my auntie real close so i knew she wasn't judging me. i never felt like i couldn't be vulnerable around her.
"i'm right here ahmad i'm not going no where i'm right here" she said holding me rubbing my back as I cried to her about the shit I was feeling.
Armoni like a necessity to me. yeah you can go without food but after a while that pit in your stomach starts to hurt and you ball up. And when I can't have her that's what I do. BALL UP.
I hate how much control she got over me how she know she got too. shit made me feel like a little boy. but i won't blame allat on her that shit my fault too i keep going back smiling in her face while she play in mines.
HIIII
nun im hear for a good time not a long time !