I've never liked my birthday. I never liked the attention that people give you when its your birthday. I always felt weird about it. Just because it was the day I was born, people suddenly start caring that I'm living. What about every other day? Why is it only today that you actually care? I'm alive 354 days of the year without you, but today, you decide to care? It never made sense to me. It still does.
I don't celebrate my birthday, as a result. I don't tell people my birthday. I don't like doing it, I don't feel as if I need to.
Obviously, people know. It's hard to get around that. But I avoid celebrations at all costs. I avoid having to do anything in regards to my birthday.
It's April 24th. My birthday. I was now 22. My favourite, and lucky number. I had high hopes for the year.
I woke up on the morning of the 24th. We had a game that day, and I was hoping, more than anything, to be able to get back on that pitch. My rehab had been going well. I was exceeding everyone's expectations. I was working incredibly hard, making sure that I would be okay for the Euros. I wanted to get back on the pitch, before the end of the season, to help my case for the tournament in the summer.
Although most people thought I wouldn't be able to do it, my consistency in the gym, and in my physio sessions, meant that instead of four months, it only took me three. Everyone was confused as to how I had got to where I had. I was running, and kicking, and with a few talks with my manager and staff, they didn't see any reason to not allow me to try and play. Obviously there would be load management, but I knew I could do it. I knew I could get back on and play the way I always had.
As I got ready to head to the stadium, I kissed Ona's head as she slept peacefully. I didn't want to wake her, but as I walked out, she opened her eyes and started to speak.
"Hey," she called out.
"Yeah?"
"Get back on that pitch. You're going to do great. I'll be watching."
"I love you," I said to her.
"I love you too." She turned over to get back to sleep, and I got in the car and headed to training.
I walked inside the locker room, and all the girls looked up, smiling at me as I went to sit at my locker. I got my boots from underneath, counting the laces before I put them on. I had missed this feeling more than anything. Being with the girls in the locker room, just before we were going to go out. It was the camaraderie that I missed most.
When you rehab, it is incredibly lonely and isolating. I had Chloe with me, through most of it, as she was overcoming an ACL injury, but when she started getting back on the pitch, I was by myself. I was lonely, and that was incredibly difficult, and incredibly hard.
"You're back!" Chloe said, coming over to me, and sitting beside my locker.
"I'm back," I replied. When we were both rehabbing, we did get quite close. As all the girls were out on the pitch, we were together in the gym, lifting weights to stay strong, and helping our respective injuries. She had become one of my closest friends, and it was nice to have someone like her with me throughout it all.
We sat on the bench together, as we played our game against Leicester. Caroline scored the first goal, then Lauren, and Alex got a late penalty to make it 3-0 going into half time. At this rate, if we secured all the points, we could make Champions League, but we wanted to have the best goal difference possible, so more goals was better than less.
I was subbed into the game in the 75th minute. That gave me 15 minutes to make a mark. To do something. Chloe came in with me, and we both found our spots. I went into the 8, and Chloe to the wing. I had Keira behind me in the 6, and Georgia in the 10. This was exactly how I liked it, and I knew I could push myself.
The rest of the game went well. I made sure to be careful around my leg, but it didn't stop me from playing my best.
Georgia was soon subbed off, as well as Alex, but the team continued to gel. We continued to work.
"Kei!" I shouted, showing her my space. She quickly passed the ball, and as I ran it into the box, I was fouled. One of the Leicester defenders put her foot out, but missed the ball. I was in the box, and it was a penalty.
All the regular penalty takers were off, so Steph handed me the ball.
"Make it count," she said. I had never taken a penalty for City, but for Norway, I was one of the regulars. I knew how to do it, and as long as I remained calm, all would go well.
I stood over the ball.
One.
Two.
Three.
Breathe.
I walked two steps back, before running up to the ball, placing it low and hard into the left corner, confusing the keeper who went right. I had scored. It was a penalty, but it was something. It was better than nothing. I turned around, to see all the girls come up to me, clapping at me, but not actually touching me. Most of the girls now knew that I didn't like touching. I could do it in small portions now, with friends, but on a pitch, with sweaty bodies and greasy hair, it made the hairs on my arm stand up. It was a no go.
The game ended 4-0, and we all came around to talk about the game.
When we got back into the locker room, Hayley sat beside me.
"So, birthday girl," she said.
"Shh!" I quickly retorted, not wanting people to know.
"Huh?"
"How do you know?"
"It was on the instagram," she said, like it was obvious.
"Of course it was," I sighed.
"Hey! What's the problem?"
"I don't like my birthday."
"Oh, well, I'm sorry then but-" Hayley started to say, but she was soon cut off by a really bad rendition of 'happy birthday' by the girls who were bringing in a cake, with my face on it. I buried my head into my hands, shaking my head with laughter. I didn't want this. But, I couldn't say that I didn't slightly enjoy it. I liked how much effort the girls had put in. It showed they cared.
"Wow," I said, as they placed the cake in front of me.
"That's you," Alanna said, pointing to the face.
"Oh I can tell," I laughed.
"We thought," Ellie soon said, "that 22 is a nice number." She winked at me, before gesturing to me to blow out the candles.
We sat around together, eating the cake. These girls were slowly starting to become more and more like family, rather than just teammates. I couldn't imagine life without them, at that moment in time. They were my everything. I know that is cringey, but without them, I'm not sure what I would do.
"Speech! Speech! Speech!" the girls soon started to chant.
"I cannot," I laughed, wanting them to be quiet.
"A quick speech," Steph said, gesturing to me to stand up.
"Ah, okay. Well, I just wanted to say thank you guys. This means a lot. I normally don't like my birthday but you guys have really helped me have the best one yet. I love you lot."
"We love you too!" Chloe called out.
"We love our Evy!" Keira added.
"Whoop!" G said.
It was soon time to start heading home, and as I walked in the door, my phone started to ring.
"Hello," I said, knowing who was on the other line.
"Hurra for deg som fyller ditt år! Ja, deg vil vi gratulere! Alle i ring omkring deg vi står, og se, nå vil vi marsjere, bukke, nikke, neie, snu oss omkring, danse så for deg med hopp og sprett og spring, ønske deg av hjertet alle gode ting og si meg så, hva vil du mere? Gratulere!" Ingrid sang. When she finally stopped, I couldn't help but laugh.
"That was an experience," I joked.
"You are welcome."
"Thank you," I then said.
"You said thank you! Are you finally starting to like your birthday then?" she asked.
"Something like that," I replied. I put ingrid on speaker while I grabbed food from the fridge
"You're now 22!" Ingrid soon said. "Your dream birthday, right?" She laughed and so too did I.
"I like the number, not the age," I clarified.
"It's your birthday?" I soon heard. I turned around to see Ona standing in the door frame, wearing her kit, after just coming back from her own training.
"I better go Ingri," I said, before hanging up the phone. I looked at Ona, feeling bad that I didn't say anything. Feeling bad that I didn't tell her.
"Yeah, it is," I said to her.
"Well, I feel like shit," she replied, trying to chuckle but I knew deep down that I had hurt her.
"It's okay," I said to her.
"I don't even have a present," she said sadly.
"I don't like presents," I replied.
"I wanted to get you a present," she answered.
"You don't need to get me a present."
"But I wanted to."
"You're my present."
"So, April 24?"
"Yep."
"I will remember it," she laughed.
"You don't have to," I replied.
"I want to."
After not being on my phone all day, many things were popping up.
Firstly, many messages flooded to me and Ona, questioning why she hadn't wished me a happy birthday.
"Why didn't I check instagram this morning?" she laughed to herself. "I could've had a gift ready for you when you got home and it would've been a surprise.
"Stop worrying about it."
But before I could say any more, Ona had posted a birthday message for me. The first photo was of us after the first game we played against each other after we got together. She was wearing red and I was in blue. She had an arm around my waist, as I looked at her laughing. The second was a selfie I had taken of us on the back of Ona's motorcycle as she took us around Barcelona. The last was a mirror selfie of us in my apartment, with my arms warped around Ona's waist, as she stood in front of me taking the photo.
Ona.batlle: 22 today, and never looked better. + getting back on the pitch after three months. Very proud of you @eva.valtersen22
Eva.valtersen22: <3 <3
Marialeonn16: ustedes tienen mi corazón
Ingrid_engen: loversssss
Ellatoone: Ona is smitten
Soon the messages turned from worry to happiness, as everyone could soon relax as Ona and I were very much still together.
The other thing that had been flooding my social was a video from after my penalty. An account had called out that my team mates had never hugged me, in any celebration.
Citywomensfan: 4-0 win! Yay. and we got Eva back on the field as well! Today was a good day. My question is whenever eva scores, no one ever hugs her... does anyone else find that weird or is it just me?
Woso.world: i mean yeah its weird but i guess its just preference?
Citywomensfan: @woso.world but surely you celebrate with your team?
Lovingbatersen: so strange but who cares. Im just happy she scored!!!
I knew that it would get noticed sooner or later. I knew that City fans were overly aware of things such as that, and would point it out.
I didn't know whether that was something I should talk about, or maybe even try and figure out myself. I still wasn't sure why those things happened to my brain. Why did I feel like counting my laces? Why was I compelled to not touch anyone? Why did I not hug my parents for 10 years? So many questions I had and no answers. My brain was one big mess, and I knew that I couldn't be passive. It was time to get help. I knew that. But, after the Euros. That could wait till after.