Alex takes a deep breath as he sits in the trailer, glancing out towards the doors.
It was a wide open view, no need to close the doors with them being the only ones at the track. It just meant more opening and closing, wear and tear on the equipment. Might as well save some money somewhere, right?
His eyes rest on the sprint car that sat there, almost trying to put its appearance on him that much more to increase whatever potential nerves there may be. It looked larger than life with its large wheels, and compared to those around it. He watched as CJ and Jake went through the usual pre-run checklist, from seeing if the wheels were tight to checking the wing nuts. It was the usual practice that they'd follow no matter where they were, and who was driving.
Taking a deep breath, his eyes return to the floor in noticing the white shoes that were fitted to his feet. He knew a look up the legs, and there was a suit that followed the same colour and comfort. It was something he'd adorned several times over the past several years. It was colours that he had grown used to wearing more than any other. However, for the first time since the initial trial, he began to wonder if this was right.
Was he ready for this? Was he really ready to be back in a race car? Was he really ready to get behind the wheel of a sprint car in this fire suit and do his thing? What if a desire for normal, a desire to get back behind the wheel was clouding his judgement?
He also worried what would happen once he climbed behind the wheel and made his way to the track. What if something went wrong? What if it felt the same way it did those weeks ago? What if he couldn't find the feel and comfort he wanted? There were more things that could go wrong than right today, and he couldn't help but feel the nerves cause butterflies in his stomach the entire time.
"Breathe...." Ryan says, noticing the twisted glance on his face, probably equaling the unspoken emotions. Ryan hadn't noticed whether it'd changed his breathing, whether quicker or not happening, but figured the advice was better than nothing at all. He and Chase were there for comfort, to help as needed, and he figured now was better than nothing at all.
"I am breathing, or else I'd be passed out," Alex comments, causing a chuckle through the trailer. It was nice to see that through everything going on that day, he at least had his humour to keep him sane. Perhaps that was the only saving grace as he couldn't hide the nerves or anxiety as much as he tried.
"Just take it one step at a time," Chase coaches him as he places a hand on his leg. "Take it slow, do what you feel comfortable with. If anything about today doesn't feel right or doesn't go to plan, that's fine - we'll deal with it. We're here for you, and we want to do what's best for you." Alex nods his head, having grown used to the repetitive nature of Chase's words over the past several weeks. While repetitive, though, he appreciated it in knowing the care behind it - and knowing he'd never get through some of this without that alongside him.
"It's probably just my usual pre-race nerves that I always have, but yet worse because I am overanalyzing them with worry over every small thing..." That's what he was going to keep telling himself anyway, so that way he could get strapped in the car and do his thing as he wanted to do. However, a small part of him began to wonder if the overanalyzing was happening for a reason. What if he walked out of Martinsville feeling too confident? "I'll feel better once I am in the car...."
The group sat quietly, unable to speak about what they knew should be said. Ryan and Chase wondered if they should offer advice, really test the waters in how Alex was feeling. They both felt confidence, the same confidence they expressed together after Martinsville. They debated repeating those words for Alex once again. But they didn't want to ruin his focus, or cloud whatever thoughts were in his mind. For Alex, it was just a repeat of the same thing over and over - a debate of whether he was doing the right thing, with a mix of reasons on both sides thrown at him together.
"The car is ready when you are," CJ comments as he enters the trailer, catching the entire group's attention. Needless to say, they were thankful that Alex had slipped the time at the Chili Bowl and exposed his relationship details to CJ and Jake. It made the explanation of why Chase and Ryan were there today that much easier to handle.
"Do you perhaps want CJ to take it for a couple laps first?" Ryan wonders, referencing Alex's earlier expressed nerves. That way it give him assurance the car was fine, and be more on his own lap. It may help calm some of the reasons as to what he was feeling going into it.
"I can do that if you want me too..." CJ knew he'd never pass up the opportunity to drive a sprint car as there was nothing that compared to one of these beasts, no matter how fun a midget was to drive. It was why he was one of the biggest cheerleaders when Alex said they were getting one.
"I'm good." Alex takes a deep breath as he stands up, smoothing out his pant leg as he walks towards the doors. He stops for a moment, glancing back at the pair with a nod, before heading out as he follows CJ in toe. It was only going to be moments now before he was back in his natural habitat - and it was do or die for him. Hopefully the performance would be there as he wanted.
"Is today going to go to plan?" Chase questions once Alex and CJ are outside together, with Alex going through the final steps before climbing behind the wheel. Chase's eyes hadn't left him the entire time, watching as the gloves and helmet were slipped on slowly.
"We both said it - we believe in him and everything he has said," Ryan starts as he wraps an arm around Chase. "I have a feeling we'll be dealing with his pain in the ass on-track at Phoenix."