Enjoy!
Warning, this will contain cussing. I'm not warning you guys, I'm warning myself. I'm not used to swearing :(
~~~
Pearl: I just ended a four year relationship.
Scott: Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
Pearl: Hm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It wasn't my relationship.
*Cleo and Martyn fighting from across the room*
~~~
Scar: I made tea.
Grian: I don't want tea.
Scar: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.
Grian: Then why are you telling me?
Scar: It is a conversation starter.
Grian: That's a lousy conversation starter.
Scar: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.
~~~
Scar: I CAN'T DO IT!
Grian, laughing: I CAN'T EITHER!
Scar: I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE
Pearl: WELL I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN EITHER GIVE UP NOW, OR YOU CAN FIGURE IT OUT. BECAUSE WE CERTAINLY CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU, AND WE KNOW YOU CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT US.
Scar:
Scar: I appreciate it,
Scar: BUT LOOK WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH-
Ren: Scar-
Scar: YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!
Martyn: Scar we gotta-
Scar: YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND. YOU GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT.
Scar: YOU GOTTA LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
Scar, motioning to Cleo: NOT FUCKING THIS-
(The generator just kinda turned Scar feral XD)
~~~
BigB: They stole from me first!
Ren: Mhm.
BigB: Stole my heart...
Joel: It is still illegal to commit murder.
~~~
Etho: *Gets down on one knee*
Joel: Oh my god, it's finally happening.
Etho: *Falls over*
Joel: The poison is kicking in.
(Whyyyyy is this so in character for both of them aaaaaahhhhh)
~~~
Pearl: God, give me patience.
Martyn: I think you mean 'give me strength'.
Pearl: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.
~~~
Scott: Hey Lizzie...
Lizzie: Yes?
Scott: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?
Lizzie:
Lizzie: Where's Grian?
~~~
*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*
Martyn: You're acting pretty carefree for someone who's life's at stake. Who's to say you aren't the killer?
Impulse: It's a murder, not a tax audit. I'll be fine.
Grian: What about Joel? Nobody ever suspects Joel!
Joel: Well what about Cleo? They have a gun!
Cleo: Martyn has a knife.
Martyn: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Grian in the arm*
~~~
*The squad is over at Jimmy's house*
Lizzie: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Jimmy: ...N-No...
Jimmy, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
Lizzie, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Grian: I see a-
Jimmy, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
Lizzie: Oh, well I-
Jimmy: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Jimmy, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Ren: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Mumbo: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Jimmy: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Jimmy: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Jimmy, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Jimmy: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Cleo, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Jimmy:
Lizzie: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Jimmy:
Jimmy, ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
(THIS. THIS IS WHY I'M HERE.)
~~~
Mumbo: You have to apologize to Grian
Scar: Fine.
Scar: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.
~~~
Etho: Listen, I can explain...
Joel: You're making $500,000 and you're only gonna pay me $30,000?
Grian: You're getting 30 grand? I'm getting $1,000!
Scott: You guys are getting paid?
~~~
Martyn: Can I bother you for a second?
Pearl: You're always bothering me, but go ahead.
~~~
Lizzie: I know you snuck out last night, Joel.
Scott: Play dumb!
Joel: Who's Joel?
Scott: NOT THAT DUMB!!!
~~~
BigB: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
BigB: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'
~~~
Impulse: Oh, fiddlesticks.
Bdubs: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.
~~~
BigB: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat*
Joel: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I'd have 15 cents
BigB: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you
Scott: Actually I did the math, Joel would have $225, not $0.15.
Joel: Fam I'm right here....
Skizz: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :)
BigB: while you're there could you buy me an apply juice please?
Skizz: Sorry I only have a dollar
BigB: :(
Scott: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Joel would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent
Skizz: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice
Scott: You can buy anything you want with $22,500
Pearl: Yeah and they want soda and apply juice
Scott: Apply juice to what
Mumbo: Directly to the forehead
Joel: Great chat everyone
~~~
Pearl: You know those things will kill you, right?
Scott, pouring another glass of whiskey: That's the point.
Cleo, smoking a cigarette: We're trying to speed up the process.
Ren: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*
~~~
Lizzie: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Mumbo: *turning to Grian* How tall are you?
~~~
Pearl: Hey, did you know as a kid I accidentally ate paper?
Cleo: I feel like we've all done that at least once.
Lizzie: I ate it too-
Cleo: See?
Lizzie::-On purpose...
Pearl & Cleo: ...What?
~~~
Ren: You're giving me a sticker?
BigB: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying "me- wow!"
Ren: I'm not a preschooler.
BigB: Fine, I'll take it back
Ren: I earned this, back off!
~~~
Martyn: I think I'm falling for you.
Cleo: Then get up.
(OH MY GOD-
The generator must have seen Double Life XD)
~~~
Cleo: There is no future. There is no past. Don't you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every fact.
Impulse: ...All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.
(Witchcraft!Cleo vibes)
~~~
Skizz, going over Jimmy's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you're creative.
Jimmy: Yes
Skizz: Okay...may I know what you create?
Jimmy: Problems. I'm very good at it too.
Skizz:
~~~
Impulse: Bye Bdubs! Bye Scar! Bye Etho! Bye Jimmy! Bye Bdubs!
Lizzie: You said 'bye Bdubs' twice.
Impulse: I like Bdubs.
~~~
Martyn: You know, when Jimmy comes over, Scott can get a little...
Etho: Psycho?
Cleo: Scary?
Pearl: Drunk?
Martyn: All three.
~~~
Etho: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Scar: You're a hazard to society
Ren: And a coward. DO TWENTY.
~~~
Mumbo: What time is it?
Scar: I don't know; pass me that saxophone and we'll find out
Scar: *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Grian: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
Scar: It's 2 am
~~~
Thx guys! Don't usually swear in my writing, but we can always blame it on the generator ;)
Have a nice day!
-minimushr00m