I was still trying to figure out if I should leave Aiden until he had time to cool off or if it was better to talk to him and sort things out before they became something we couldn't work through.
Max took me to pick up my car.
"Thanks," I said as I got in and he stood beside it.
"You're welcome Reece."
"You're a good guy Max. You deserve better than I treated you. I will always regret how I screwed things up."
He nodded. "Do you think it would have happened if Lacey hadn't been sick?"
I knew the answer to that but did it really matter now. Lacey had gotten sick and things had happened between Aiden. There was no undoing what had happened.
"I'm sorry Max."
He sighed and hung his head. "It sucks but it is what it is."
I was relieved he was finally accepting that there was no going back. We were over. Even if things didn't work out with Aiden, we would not be getting back together.
"I know it sounds like a line but it's true. When you meet the right girl, you will be happy and you'll be so glad you never wasted anymore time on me."
Lacey's tumor had pulled Aiden and my path together but the truth was if it hadn't been Aiden it probably would have been someone else.
Max, was nice and dependable. He was what I had needed at that point in time but deep down I knew it wouldn't have lasted. I had always needed the hot, can't keep your hands off each other type of attraction. The way I felt about Aiden.
He lifted his eyes to meet mine. "I hope he makes you happy."
"Thanks Max," I murmured, not sure if it was possible to fix things with Aiden.
I loved him and he wanted to be with me. Why wasn't it that simple? It was the only factors that counted, surely?
With a hot and heavy attraction usually came with a volatility that would end up tearing it apart. The odds weren't good for Aiden and I.
I left and went home. For most of the journey home I debated whether to go to Aiden's house.
I didn't know if I could do another confrontation or handle him but I decided it was best to go and see him.
When I got to his house, his car wasn't on the driveway which meant he wasn't home. I sat in the car for a few minutes trying to debate on whether to call him or not. It was then I saw his message he had sent before he had showed up unexpectedly at my house.
We need to talk. I'm coming over.
If I read his message I would have been able to avert the confrontation that had taken place and the drama that it had created.
I sighed heavily as I called him and put the phone to my ear. It rang and rang. Then is just stopped.
I wasn't surprise. He was probably not answering because he was still angry. How did I clear up the misunderstanding that had exploded into a physical altercation if he refused to speak to me?
Camping outside of his house until he came home wasn't feasible. I still had assignments to do. Maybe once I was done I would try and call him or message him. If all else failed I could always sneak into his room like I had before.
It was my absolute last resort. I swallowed when I remembered his expression before he had left. It turned my stomach. All I could do was explain myself and hope for the best. I couldn't do more than that.
I found it difficult to concentrate on my homework when I got home. My mind kept drifting to Aiden and I kept checking my phone. But there was no contact from me.
Eventually to give ease my anxiousness I sent him a message.
Please can we talk.
I sighed and stared down at my homework, trying to find the energy to concentrate on the task at hand and not the boy who was foremost in my thoughts.
I was still busy with my homework when Lacey called.
"How are you feeling?" I asked, trying to keep my voice light when I had to fight the urge to want to lecture her.
"Hungover," she murmured.
I could hear the hesitation in her voice and knew that she was probably feeling bad she had gotten so drunk.
"You drank a lot last night," I said.
"I know. I'm sorry. What happened?"
I had a feeling she wasn't going to remember much, it's the only reason I considered calling Aiden. She wouldn't have remembered him.
"Not much. I got you home safe." She didn't need to know all the details. Maybe it was best to keep her away from parties for a little while. "Maybe next time we go for a movie, or something like that."
"Yeah, if I survive this hangover."
I smiled. "You'll survive," I murmured. After everything she had survived, what was a little hangover?
Making her feel bad wouldn't accomplish anything. She had been to hell and back. Maybe she deserved some time to figure things out and hopefully remember everything she had forgotten.
I couldn't imagine was Adonis was going through.
It made me think of Aiden.
I made a point of checking my phone again, even though I knew there wasn't anything from him. I tried to call him again. It rang and rang. When it finally clicked over to voicemail, I hung up.
This wasn't working. If I wanted his attention I was going to have to do something drastic. Like sneaking into his room again. But the fear of it not playing out well kept me from heading there straight away.
My confidence was shaken, and I wasn't sure how to fix what was broken.
All my responsibilities felt like weight on my shoulders and I hung my head into my hands, taking a deep breath and expelling it.
What did I do now? My attention drifted to my phone on the table.
I reached for it and dialed his number again. I didn't expect him to answer but this time when it clicked over to voicemail, I didn't hang up.
"It's me. I've been trying to speak to you but..um you're not answering." I paused. "I know you're angry and upset but you owe me the chance to explain. You owe me that much Aiden." I sighed. "I don't want to throw what we have away over some stupid misunderstanding that can be sorted out, you have to give me the chance to explain Aiden."
I'd said all I could. I ended the call. Feeling emotional, I let out a heavy breath. I didn't want to consider what would happen if he didn't give me the chance to hear me out.
There was nothing more I could do. The ball was in his court.
I tried to finish my homework as best I could. After the drama from the night before and the subsequent morning I was tired. And each moment that passed felt like an eternity. The more time that passed, the less likely I believed Aiden would be to talking this out.
Later when I was tucked into bed, in the dark it was impossible to still keep up any hope that Aiden would give me the opportunity to speak to him. I couldn't make him do anything, all I could do at this point was wait and hope for the best.
It just sucked, that nothing that was happening was in my control.
It just compounded the lack of control I'd had when Lacey had been sick, and in her recovery. It felt like I wasn't getting anywhere and was only treading water. Trying to keep my head above the water.
I lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, trying to figure out what I could have done differently so have changed the outcome I was currently facing.
Had my inability to realize how much I cared for Aiden in the first place the start of all the mistakes that had led to this? If I had been more confident in the beginning and not waited so long to tell him how I felt, would he have felt more secure in our fledgling relationship. Would it have helped with withstand the insecurities Max's presence had created?
I fell into a troubled sleep, going over all the mistakes and wondering if there was anything I could do to change any of what had happened.