Alex takes a deep breath as he looks up pit road, watching Chase debrief over the event with Alan and the guys.
He couldn't help but feel frustration, sadness in watching the scene before him. Chase and Alan did what they needed to do entering the event, putting a quick car underneath him. He even led laps, and looked as though he'd have a chance at winning. But the smallest pit road mistake, and a couple other things, and boom - a 10th place finish instead.
However, there was also pride written over his face as he stood there. Despite all of his nerves about the weekend, he was able to get through practice, qualifying, pre-race, and the race without a single issue. There was no headaches, no shying away from the action or light, and anxiety was what Alex claimed to be his usual levels at a track.
A small smile, as he had to admit - it felt more than just good this weekend. It felt absolutely perfect to be back where he belonged at the track.
It was why prior to the race, he had gone a little off script in announcing in the media center that he would be back behind the wheel at Phoenix Raceway. He felt that confident about how he was feeling mentally and physically, there was nothing in his mind that would prevent that from happening. The test at Charlotte Motor Speedway in the sprint car this Tuesday no longer bothered him, either.
The announcement surprised a lot of people, mostly Chase and Ryan given the conversation they had just moments prior to the weekend. They also knew both sides of the conditional release needed to be met, and couldn't admit hesitation about Tuesday. What if something went wrong? They both believed in Alex, they knew he could get the job done - but what if?
"Do you still think Alex was wrong in making the announcement?" Chase questions later on that night as he gets changed back at the house.
They had arrived not long before - thanks to their trusty pilot, each heading to their own ends to set down their stuff. It was the usual protocol, before meeting together, possibly for social, but more than likely for extra curriculars. While Alex was ready to call it a day, causing a couple eye brow raises in knowing that was not per usual cycle, Chase and Ryan found themselves in the living room, each holding a beer bottle.
"He just went to bed earlier than normal, but yet we're supposed to believe everything is okay," Ryan starts as he lets out a sigh, eyes instinctively looking down the hall. "He may have sighted it being his first big day out in awhile as a reason - which it was, but could the fatigue and early bedtime be a sign of everything else? What if more comes out at Charlotte? Then what do you say to the media?"
"You just tell them that unfortunately you had a setback, and want to play it smart by waiting until February," Chase states, knowing he'd leave it at something simple to not get them prying for more answers. It's also why he would've chose to not say anything until the absolute moment necessary. Why give them a reason to continue talking? "I keep ringing through my mind what he said prior to the weekend. I keep thinking about the text message from that day, followed by the conversation. I just couldn't get comfortable, it just didn't feel right. The more I think about it, the more I am nervous about it."
"I totally understand, and we have every reason to be - but I think he'll be okay." Chase then glances at Ryan confused, knowing that didn't follow what he had just said moments earlier. "Maybe I am looking into him going to sleep early too much. Maybe I am looking at this more than I should - and that's because we care. But if Alex says he's comfortable and ready, says today was just assurance, then I believe in him and know it will go fine. I trust his judgement, and know that he wouldn't throw himself into something he wasn't ready for."
"He wasn't ready for us, but here we are..." Ryan chuckles, knowing it'd certainly been a ride for the trio to get to this point - some of it self induced.
"I'm surprised he made the first move, actually." Chase shakes his head, knowing it wasn't quite like Ryan was thinking as he remembered their first moments.
"It started out as carrying, just wanting to be there as a friend, not realizing more. But then you could see that sparkle in his eyes, and my heart just grew. That was when I approached it, he carefully accepted it. But he was nervous. He was worried and scared, but wanted me to teach him and show him, slowly..." Chase takes a long sip of his beer, eyes glancing down the hall with a smile. "You can see when he's nervous or worried. But the comfort I saw today, maybe you're right. Maybe everything will be okay."
"The same way that everything worked out, even I fucked up..." Chase looks over at Ryan, placing a hand on his leg as he scoots as close as he can, allowing their full bodies to touch each other.
"You may have messed up, and that hurt a lot - but you worked your way back into my heart, the hard way. We all mistakes, Ry, I know that. I've made my own. But you learned..." Chase then leans in, lightly allowing his lips to bruh against Ryan's, as Ryan accepts the tenderness, easily delivering one of his own in return.
"You gave me a second chance when I didn't deserve it. Thank you...."