AHAHAHAHA LETS GET IT STARTED
::
shit, it was ringing.
the sound was so deafening- screaming right at him. ripping out his ear dreams.
it hummed and spat.
it was the most horrible and fucking terrible melody ever; scratching his brain to the point that he almost couldn't take it at all.
he couldn't believe what he was doing.
he couldn't believe he actually dialed his number.
and this late too. in the middle of the fucking night.
yeonjun's finger hovers over the red end button- realizing how stupid this was. of course he would be asleep. of course he wouldn't pick up a call this late. of course he wouldn't want to talk to yeonjun.
he sighs- biting his lip and shaking his head.
he didn't know what had gotten into him. what was he even thinking? that stupid motivation and confidence that sparked up seconds ago was now entirely gone; deserting him in the dark room all alone.
a thousand thoughts flood into his brain. pulling him in countless of directions. thinking how dumb he was. how idiotic he was acting. how pathetic and ignorant and fucking-
the line clicks.
the ringing stops.
yeonjun glances down at his phone with surprise.
he stays so still- like a statue. not blinking. not breathing. not even thinking.
"hello?" a tired voice rings out; sounding so drowsy and hoarse- disturbing someone who was flourishing in their dreams a few seconds ago.
"soobin..?" yeonjun whispers; somehow in disbelief.
"yeah?" he muffles out; still half asleep.
yeonjun swallows- now looking around his dark surroundings, not entirely sure what he even wanted to say; thinking he wouldn't get this far.
"are you asleep?" he asks.
"not anymore." soobin sighs out- now shifting around in his bed.
"i'm sorry." yeonjun whispers out.
soobin gently laughs, "don't be."
soobin pauses before saying something else, "are you okay?"
yeonjun nods as if he could see him, "i just.. couldn't sleep."
"right," soobin says, slurring out whatever came to his mind, "you just... 'couldn't sleep'."
yeonjun lays back down on his bed- trying to relax from being so tensed up, "i was.. thinking."
"thinking, hm? was it about me?" soobin says- running his mouth with the first thought printed on his tongue.
yeonjun smirks, "it's always about you."
soobin yawns, "you know.." yeonjun hears how he stretches, rustling around in his covers for comfort, "i think about you sometimes too."
yeonjun's eyes widen, "you do?"
"mhmm," he sighs out, "sometimes though. not all the time. only when i'm.. bored. which actually is a lot of the time so.. maybe i do think about you a lot."
he quiets down for a second, "i don't know."
yeonjun laughs- deeply entertained by what soobin was blabbering on about; acting like he was drunk.
"i'm honored." he says gently- pressing the phone closer to his ear; wanting to hear every single pronounced word that soobin said. pretending that he was right next to him.
"you should be," soobin blurts out, "i don't think about anyone usually. it's.. odd."
"so i'm special?"
"i guess so.." soobin says- barely audible.
yeonjun grins widely- ear to ear. stretching across his lips. barely able to fit on his face.
"thank you." he murmurs softly- not wishing to disturb the half asleep person on the other side of the line.
soobin hums, "you know.. you're so.. weird."
yeonjun laughs in confusion, "weird?"
"you.." he sighs, thinking about it without thinking about it, "you have this weird way of making everyone.. like you."
"i do?"
"the whole school likes you. literally everyone likes you. i mean, who wouldn't? you're so outgoing and fun and you.. talk to people. like actually talk and have a conversation. and.. that's like a talent." he heaves out.
yeonjun smiles, "you think so?"
"i know so." soobin says in a low voice.
the line goes quiet for a minute; the static crawling into their ears. seeming to let them think to themselves; getting lost in the millions of ideas fluttering through their brain.
"why do you waste it?" the younger gently mutters.
yeonjun turns over to his side- readjusting himself and getting all happily situated, "waste it?"
soobin sighs, "you waste it. you talk to me. you can talk to anyone in this whole entire world. and you waste it talking to me. it doesn't make sense."
yeonjun chuckles soothingly, "why do you think i do it?"
it goes back to quietness. the answer being obviously underneath their noses. and yet, they took a second to really inhale and examine it.
"why?" soobin hardly says.
yeonjun hesitates- adding a dramatic touch.
he inhales sharply.
"it's because i like you."
they both pause. listening to the words that hung there. swinging around happily.
he tries his best to listen to a reaction from soobin- picking up the tiniest sound that his brain could detect.
soobin guffaws in fake way, "you're funny."
yeonjun blinks up at his ceiling, "i'm telling the truth."
he hears soobin open his mouth- waiting a quick moment as doubt and disbelief overtake him, "you're tripping."
"i'm telling the truth." yeonjun repeats firmer this time- trying to get the message through; showing that he genuinely meant it. more than anything in this world.
"no one.." soobin starts, though trails off.
he sniffs. gently. so softly that yeonjun barely catches onto it.
"no one likes me, yeonjun."
the elder smiles sadly to himself.
"i guess i'm no one then."
soobin gingerly laughs. a rather sad chuckle.
it hurt yeonjun's heart.
"i guess you are."
yeonjun inhales loudly- swallowing down all the things he wanted to say; all the things he's been keeping below the surface.
he could talk about every little aspect. every single part and detail that he loved about soobin. he could go on all night until he bored him into slumber. he knew he could. he knew that he so easily could.
"do you mean it?" soobin interrupts his train of thought.
yeonjun clenches his jaw, "of course i mean it. with every ounce in my body."
it fades back into eerie stillness.
both of them breathing and blinking to themselves. their hearts heavy with all the secrets they held.
"i.." soobin snickers in incredulity; finding it hard to accept it, "i don't know what to say."
yeonjun grins widely, "you don't have to say anything."
soobin's breath shakily flutters out- getting it to erupt out the other side and straight into yeonjun's ear; causing a little ripple of sound that he greatly adored.
"thank you." he says with an even tone.
yeonjun laughs, "for what?"
his mind traces over to just a day ago. when soobin had suddenly said thank you out of the blue. being so uncalled for. repeating it again right now. confusing yeonjun to the point that it drove him insane.
"i didn't get to say it last time.." soobin starts, "i was.. too scared."
yeonjun perks up straighter- listening to how soobin was willing to share his secrets on a random night.
"when i said thank you.. for everything. i meant, like, everything."
yeonjun bites his lip, "i don't get it."
soobin sighs, "thank you for.. all the times that we've spent together. thank you for always bothering me. thank you for.. for being able to get me to smile. for getting me to laugh. for, somehow, getting me to look forward to seeing you."
the smile on yeonjun's face immensely widens.
"thank you for all the treats you brought me. for the donuts. for the cookies and juice boxes. thank you for always being there with me in the library. thank you for.. taking care of me when i was sick. for leaving and dropping everything just to be with me. thank you for being there when i had a bad dream."
yeonjun laughs. feeling this overwhelming sense of love.
"thank you for all the memories. thank you for the.. stalking. i mean.. no one's ever done it.. except you. and it means a lot."
yeonjun's face begins to hurt from the wide stretching smile.
"i know it's stupid," soobin whispers, "that i'm like randomly saying it.. and that i can't bring myself to do it in person. but.. thank you."
yeonjun lightly clears his throat- processing it over and over. knowing that this was something else; that this was something special.
he knew soobin had to be on something to even begin sharing his feelings. and now he was happily able to see this part of him.
though he couldn't tell if that was either extremely good or atrociously bad.
"you're not like.. about to commit suicide, right?" yeonjun starts, clicking his tongue; hoping soobin wasn't suddenly wishing his final goodbyes.
soobin laughs- bouncing and flowing out like a sweet vibration.
"you know.. you could just say 'you're welcome'."
yeonjun giggles along, so glad to hear that beautiful sound; soobin's laugh. heaven on earth. exactly what he lived for.
"you're welcome." he says gently.
they both sigh and hum together. letting the darkness cover them like a comforting blanket. so cozy and soothing. lulling them into endless sleep that whispered their names.
they stay like that for a while. touching the edge of falling asleep. listening to how they lightly breathe across the phone. a sort of assuage that calmed their nerves.
yeonjun could tell soobin was falling back into slumber. his exhales becoming slow and steady. disconnecting from being awake and becoming welcomed into a world full of dreams.
before he can even think about it- knowing time wasn't something he had on his hands- he blurts out what his heart ached him to do.
"soobin?" yeonjun says.
no response.
yeonjun gives it five seconds before he tries again.
"soobin?" he says a little bit more louder.
he hears how the covers rustle for a split moment- now listening to soobin clear his throat and push himself back into reality.
"hmm?" soobin squeezes out- so tiny, so softly.
yeonjun opens his mouth- saying it before he could back out.
"will you go to a party with me?"
he doesn't respond.
not a single flutter of sound.
not a single noise.
nothing.
and yeonjun couldn't tell if he had actually fallen back asleep or was utterly thinking hard about the question; trying to make up his hazy mind.
yeonjun pops back open his mouth, just about to rush and save himself, when a lighter voice rings out. directly into his ears.
"as a date?"
yeonjun pauses.
he nods.
"a date."
he waits.
waits for his response.
waits for his answer.
waits.
and waits.
waiting sucked. it was tiring. it was worst and slowest torture possible.
it drove him insane; crazy.
he could barely even handle it.
getting him to rethink and overthink what he said; knowing he probably screwed up.
but before he can do any of that- before he can scold himself to making such an idiotic move- his reply erupts swiftly.
the most delicate words.
the most percent tone.
it was beautiful.
he finally got what he waited for.
"yes."