❥︎ Pre-chapter note: The finale will have *three parts because I'd like to tie up the main plot before I give the story a proper ending. The 'surprise' will be in part (c), which is the final part for this story!
Also! Please, as a request from me to you, listen to the song above while reading this and play it on loop. You'll feel wayyy more engaged. if you're on mobile, download soundcloud and search for "stellar stellar suisei" play the first one and set it on loop with the little 1! worth it trust me
This will be the case for all three parts, and for engagement please play both songs on loop while reading the chapters! sankyu <33
- -
Rui took me to...
my house?
Or perhaps, the house of a woman who used to raise me. It was just like it was in the dream world, and just like how Rui described it to me. She'd gotten a new house after I was hospitalised, just because she couldn't stand how much the old apartment reminded her of my father. Or perhaps me? I didn't think she cared enough about me for that.
"..." I stared at the doors. They were old, and stained. Then I turned my head over to Rui, only to find a beckoning expression on his face.
Without any words, he was telling me that I would have to face this eventually.
I took a shaky, deep breath, and let go of his hand.
Then I took one step forward.
I raised my hand, hoping for even a second to pause. But my hand moved on its own, and it pushed forward on the doorbell.
What if... I stared into space while the anxiety in my chest began to rise up. However, I was interrupted by a loud 'clack' behind me. I turned around.
The gates to the house were closed. Rui had disappeared, but I figured he couldn't have gone far.
Right. If Mom saw Rui, I don't think it would be good for the situation.
Actually... Do the gates really close that loudly-- I turned my head to the gate and just as I was about to figure out everything other than what was in front of me, a voice from the door completely interrupted my thought process.
"Y/N...?" The voice stroked a part of my ears and my body, which had been hidden away for years.
I was scared to turn around. At that moment, I couldn't feel my legs. Because I knew precisely who it was, why her voice was so unstable, and why I felt like I wanted to run.
Yet the gate was closed, so I couldn't escape.
My brain tried to make an escape from the situation.
What did I do to get here?
Why did Mom abandon me, in the first place?
I--
A warm, strangely comfortable feeling enveloped me from behind as arms snapped into place tightly beside my arms and wrapped around me.
"It's..." she mumbled. I could feel her breath, and every hesitation she took and every tremble in her arms.
She continued, "It's been... so long."
Her voice cracked a little. It scared me, how unfamiliar the voice felt.
The loop... I remember her voice, and I've heard it in the loop before.
So why...
Is it so distant?
"I'm sorry." she cried, and her tears landed on my shoulders.
I reached my arm up to pull hers away from my chest, but on the way I noticed the stuffy feeling in my chest. Certainly, the feeling emerged because of the appearance of my mother, whom I hadn't seen in years?
Even so, I realized...
My own tears were contributing to them. They fell one after the other, stopping every movement in my body in its tracks.
I didn't know why I cried,
but if there was anything to note,
it was that I usually cried when something hurt.
* * *
Beep, beep, beep.
I stepped forward to turn off the alarm. "Man, what's the point of an alarm if I'm just going to wake up before it anyway?" I grumbled while tying my hair up. I held my hand at the tight part where my hair was bunched together, and groaned a little.
I took a look at the glossy, clear mirror. A blue jacket over a blouse with a skirt. "All good!" With my back upright and tight, I grinned with a dash of sun rays on my body.
When I moved to the right a little, the rays engulfed my face in the bright, gleaming light.
It felt so warm, even warmer than the feeling of sun on my face in the hospital.
I went to the kitchen, where my mother was reading a book. She was sharply focused on it, and though she didn't say a word, she acknowledged my presence with the plate on the table.
Woah...
It's eggs and ham.
I sat down, and dug in gratefully. "This tastes..." I didn't know what my expression looked like, between nostalgia and sorrow. "Just like how it was, nine years ago."
Nine. Because my mother stopped making eggs and ham for me, after Dad died.
Because it was his favourite, too.
* * *
I stepped into Kamiyama High.
It felt so weird, how the teacher standing tall at the front gate looked at me like a normal person.
How everyone, on my way to school, looked at me like I was just another school girl.
It felt so, so surreal.
"Morning." A scarily familiar voice greeted me. Informal. Monotone. Gloomy.
Ah, if it isn't Nene Kusanagi.
Gray, messy hair and that damn voice.
"Still sticking your nose too deep in others' business?" I said, with a slight hint of spitefulness. I didn't even know where I was going with the comment.
She avoided my gaze and looked to the side the moment we met eyes. "I... I'm your guide. Sorry."
Sorry for being my guide, or for...?
"...And you're in my class?" Silence spread out between us. She hesitantly nodded, and I couldn't help letting out a sigh.
"Okay then, please lead me to 2B." I said in the most convincingly nice tone I could put up for Nene Kusanagi.
She nodded. And for even a moment, I wondered whether I was the one being childish, for digging up skeletons from more than nine years ago.
Maybe I was, but nothing really happened in my childhood except for vague memories of a faint happiness, my father's death, the incident, and Nene Kusanagi. When there are only three things you know well in life for eight years, you don't forget them easily.
The journey to the classroom was an excellent way to induce plenty of chest pain in me from all the silence. And leg pain, too.
"We're here. You can... sit out here until the teacher comes over to let you do your self introduction." She said, avoiding any eye contact and fidgeting with her hands.
I nodded sheepishly, and she walked into the classroom, closing the doors behind her.
If I'm not wrong, Rui is in 2C... Where would that be? I leaned on the wall behind me and anxiously awaited some sort of relief.
"Ah, you must be Y/N. Come in." A woman walked towards the door and opened it confidently. She held books and files, so I just assumed she was a teacher. I nodded, and nervously I gripped onto my bag.
The moment I stepped in, the class was filled with various whispers, but all I could focus on was my increasing heart beat, and just how weak my legs began to feel.
The teacher finished writing my name on the board, and reached out her hand as a signal for me to say something.
"I'm Y/N L/N..." I spoke slowly, looking down.
Realizing, however, that I had nothing to fear at that moment, I looked up and put on the least nervous-looking smile I could.
Then I continued, "I'm not very smart, so I don't think I'll be able to help with your chemistry homework."
* * *
Class was interesting. Contrary to what was in the books I'd read about high school life, there were various things worth listening to and I didn't fall asleep or start doodling.
The moment the bell rang, the class burst in a loud, chaotic atmosphere.
"Hey, you're Y/N, right? Wanna go grab lunch? We could show you around!" some girls walked up to my desk and started a conversation. I smiled and somehow knew exactly what to say.
"Oh, I have my guide, Nene. I'll join you guys next time, if you don't mind!" I observed their reaction. A mix of disappointment and pity. Still, they smiled and waved goodbye.
As they left, talking among themselves, Nene walked over. We stared at each other for a moment, before she asked, "Why did you mention me?"
Her tone seemed nervous and shaky. "Those girls are popular. They were giving you a one-way ticket into an easy, straightforward high school life. You need it." She said, with more determination than I'd ever heard Nene Kusanagi have.
Nene Kusanagi is an outcast, and so is Rui, I reminded myself.
The way she looked at me and narrowed her eyes, the way she spoke like she knew all that?
It reminded me so, so much of the past.
* * *
I'd just gotten out of kindergarten. Eagerly awaiting my mom to come and pick me up from school, I impatiently kicked on the chair I was sitting on.
"Y/N..." Nene giggled, watching how the security guard was glaring at me and how I'd completely ignored him.
Then, a little child the same age as us walked up to Nene. He pointed at her face, and set his face up for what he was about to say.
"Dirty gray sheep!" By that, he was talking about Nene's hair. It was messy, unruly, gray and considered weird for the kids in our neighbourhood.
He laughed and ran away with all his friends.
Nene looked down, and bathed herself in whatever emotions came upon her. It wasn't the first time this had happened that day.
"Nene... ignore them. There's nothing wrong with you. They're just being immature." I hugged her and tried to drown away every bit of sorrow she might have felt for her.
Perhaps she was mad, or blinded by insecurity.
She opened her mouth, and spoke the most crude words I'd heard from her.
"What about you?! Why don't they make fun of you for not having a dad, for having a mother who hates you?! Why just me...?"
...
I let my arms drop down from the tight hold.
I didn't understand. What did I do?
I'd never pried into her business, and I'd always tried my best to comfort her. I've always tried getting the kids to stop, getting them to respect her.
So why did she blame me?
I couldn't help letting out everything I'd pent up. I screamed the most vulgar words I knew, and let out every detail about everything I'd done for her. Maybe I was being petty, but I was repaying her poison with more poison.
Did she know that the kids poured milk on her shoes?
Did she know that the kids threw eggs into her locker?
Did she know, how I cleaned it all up for her without her knowing?
She looked up at me in some sort of horrified expression, but it was too late.
I couldn't forgive her.
The one thing I couldn't openly speak about, was my father.
The security guard dragged me away, and my mom was called.
She slapped me.
It hurt so much. So much that for a second, I almost agreed with what Nene said.
I told Rui what had happened, and how I didn't want her around anymore.
He still hung out with her, but we couldn't all be together anymore.
Not after what she'd said.
Then a year later, I got into a car accident.
I was sure that she came to visit at least once.
Unlike my mom.
But how could I forgive her, when she hadn't even found the dignity to say at least a sincere 'sorry'?
* * *
"Whatever. Guide me to the cafeteria if you would, my dear guide?" I was convinced that I had some sort of reason to be doing this to Nene.
Nine years ago, my father died and I broke things off with Nene.
Eight years ago, I just barely survived from a stupid, unnecessary accident.
And Nene hadn't yet found a time to sincerely apologize.
All I needed, was one "I wasn't in my right mind back then. I'm so sorry."
Something more than just "Sorry".
Nene nodded, and she led me downstairs. Though it seemed like she was uncomfortable and by all means so was I, we sat down together and ate our food.
I broke the silence by asking a question. "You and Rui are in a troupe together. How is it...? Last I heard, you guys broke out in a fight and decided to disband the troupe."
She hesitated for a moment, then gave me the most Nene Kusanagi smile I'd seen from her in a long, long time. "We got back together. It was a misunderstanding on all of our sides, and in the end all we needed was a little push to realize what really mattered."
I didn't understand what truly happened, but by her expression; her smile--
I could tell that Rui and Nene had found people they belonged with.
It was good enough of an answer to get just a little bit of a smile from me, too.
- -
Finale part (b) END
phew! 2000 words here!
this was originally way longer, but i've made the decision to split this into two so the final chapter will now be (c).... (i know, tell me about it)
even so, i hope this chapter is satisfactory :))
<33 if you haven't read the update announcement, we made it to the shiny ✨#1 out of 159 in #ruikamishiro✨!!!!!!!
LES GOOO┌|o^▽^o|┘♪
have a good one!
-ffey