this is a request from @Midnight4Lifers so thank you so much for the recommendation! I hope you like it!
warning! self-harm! boy-x-boy! though you should probably be used to that by now if you're in this fandom.
Leo . . . wasn't doing the best. intrusive thoughts plagued his mind telling him things, telling him he was worthless, horrible, useless. he gasped, but he couldn't stop them. he pulled his hair out. but nothing worked.
he sat in the tub, red streams bleeding from his wrists. he knew it was wrong. he knew he should never, ever do this. but why did it feel so good? why was it the only thing that shut up the stupid voices in his head?
he sat crying, knowing all of this yet he beat himself up over it constantly. "why can't I do something right for a change!" he would yell. "I'm just not good enough." he came to a conclusion after pounding on the wall for as long as he could remember that day. just like that one, the days were going by in a flash, in a sort of haze. he would get through the days just fine, when he went to the engine room to sleep he couldn't remember anything. just blurry faces and muffled words.
through the gnarly cuts it felt like the voice pounding in his head wanting to escape, was doing so through his appendage. he felt at ease.
he watched the red flood through the drain.
Leo got up and stumbled out of the tub, searching for the first aid kit. he had done this so many times before that he could probably do it with his eyes closed. disinfect, wash, dry, and bandage. and done.
Leo stared into his face in the mirror. it was many things. it was ugly, it was tired looking, it looked starved. but it didn't look like his. he was losing it. 100%.
it didn't help his mental state when he found out he liked Jason. he was everything Leo wasn't, and that just seemed to rub salt in the wound. he scowled at himself.
with everything done and taken care of Leo marched out of the bathroom. the thing he loved about building the Argo II was that he knew where all of the secret rooms were. he knew all the passageways and all of the tight squeezes not even the girls could get through. meaning he always had the option to just go and . . . cry. that sounded a lot less depressing in his mind.
he could hear Annabeth calling out to him from one of these said rooms, "Leo! Dinners ready! Come and get some before Percy takes it all!" he didn't respond. "Leo where are you!" he tucked his head in closer.
Annabeth grumbled in Ancient Greek. she left muttering "he'd said he'd be here!"
Leo held his hand above his magic tool belt and asked, "mirror please," it obliged. he stared into it, still not recognizing the person on the other end.
wow, no wonder no one likes you
he flinched, but soon calmed. "hey Kate." yes, he named the voice, and yes, it sounded female. got a problem with that?
hey! how do-o-o-ing!
she giggled uncontrollably, screeching in Leo's brain like a mindless child. "ugh" he groaned. he was not in the mood for this. I mean, he never was, but especially not today.
it's always 'ugh' with you! never 'fine, or how ar' yah!
she nagged. "not now, please! I can't deal with you" he thought of saying, "you sound too much like her' but thought that was a bit obvious. she appeared to him, floating like a cartoon character leaning toward a heavenly smell.
her long black hair, straight by her sides, her bottom lip out pouting.
I know kid, but I ain't exactly here to make you feel good, ain't my job!
"then what is! why are you even here!" Leo shouted, Kate seemed quite offended. her face then broke, and a laughing fit erupted from her ghastly face.
you're asking me! you made me, kid! I don't exist!
Leo's head shot up, and drool fell from his mouth, creating a small puddle directly under. he had been sleeping. it was all a dream. but if it was then why did it feel like she was still there, a chill on the hairs on his neck?
panic seized him and he sprinted out, banging and clanging along the walls and hard metal machines. he emerged from his secret base covered in sweat. his hair, sticking to his forehead. thank goodness his clothes weren't soaked, that would be not very pleasant. he looked in the mirror once more. his eyes looked puffy and bloodshot, but only enough if you looked really hard.
"towel please" his toolbelt gave. he wiped his forehead and sighed. "Let's go and have some dinner" and he walked out.
Jason's POV
Jason found it weird Leo didn't show up for dinner immediately, nor did he find it exactly reassuring when Annabeth came back saying she couldn't find him. though he was always tinkering away at different parts of the ship. but for Festus to be wrong on his location . . . that was the weird part.
he stared at his plate, and suddenly two beef tacos popped up, filled to the brim with toppings and sauces. exactly the way Leo made it. maybe all this Leo thinking was getting to him.
Leo was the happy-go-lucky mechanic of the group, he was most likely not in any trouble! he was either running around the ship, board, not realizing what time it was due to his work and ADHD. or, he was currently reenacting mission impossible with one of his machines, about to blow.
though his nerves soon calmed as his elfish appearance appeared in the doorframe. he breathed a sigh of relief, then immediately questioned himself for doing so. why did he even have a reason to be scared?
Leo was perfectly capable of handling things himself, even if Jason constantly teased him otherwise. he knew his way along the ship, better than 100% of the others on board, and no alerts or giant explosions had gone off. yet.
he sat down beside Jason and soon he noticed Jason's plate. "I see you have a good eye for food huh?" he snapped Jason out of his thoughts. "oh- uh- uh-huh" he gulped, since when had he been so nervous around his own best friend?
Leo shrugged and took a bite of his now-matching tacos, similar to Jason's.
Jason found himself staring more intently at Leo than he should have. from how his face felt so hot he was going to melt, he was almost one hundred percent sure his cheeks were red and as the feeling with Piper had gone, this was a rabbit hole designed deep enough to bury himself in completely.
as you may be able to tell, Piper and he broke up, it didn't feel real, it didn't feel . . . normal. it was all Hera's fault. though there was no point dwelling on it now.
but . . . something else was a problem now. the more he stared the more he noticed, his cheeks had a bit of a red tint, his eyes were puffy, and the hair around his forehead stuck together more than the other frizzier strands at the back. has Leo been . . . crying? no, of course, he wasn't. what was there to cry about?
he was with his friends that loved him (okay maybe Jason a little more than most) and sure he was going on a great quest and may die, but the line said "the storm or fire the world must fall" and there was no way Jason was letting Leo die. he may be annoying but he was also Jasons best friend. not to mention, but every once in a while Leo's eyes darted over to a corner in the room, snarling when he thought no one was looking.
too bad he actually thought that all. Meaning he had been staring at Leo for a whole two minutes, and the boy noticed. "Uh, you okay there? is . . . IS MY HAIR ON FIRE!" he lept up from his seat.
"what n-no!" but Leo didn't seem to hear him. he desperately patted his hair down, muttering "oh gods oh gods" Frank stood up to see if his hair was smouldering but before he could probably get a good look Leo took off.
around half a minute, maybe less, Percy let a sigh escape him. "what is it?" Piper asked. "he just jumped into the sea" Piper looked confused for a second. "how do you? oh! right, right" and Percy left as well.
silence after the chaos, like a rainbow after a storm. Finally Frank looked over at him. "why were you staring at him? I didn't see any embers, maybe that was because he took off sprinting" he muttered the last part. Jason gulped, he didn't know why, but he did. "oh, just lost in thought is all" he laughed.
"so he threw himself into the sea for no reason?" Hazel questioned. "oh uh . . . yeah, I guess" he looked kind of ashamed.
Percy came back but Leo never did, had to go change I guess.
later that night Jason sat down and thought about him. something else had to of been the answer. Leo never cried, despite being the scrawny and frankly not a very impressive-looking mechanic he was, he was probably one of the toughest people he had met. and I mean, Frank was the most impressive looking, but man, Jason had seen his cry over cereal. don't judge a book by its cover I guess?
unless something was very wrong, he had no idea. though being the numbskulled idiot he was he decided he had to confront him later, y'know, building up the confidence. but the confidence for what? he stopped himself. why did he need confidence?
he thought about Leo, and that happened to be his undoing. the way he always wore his cheeky grin with pride, the way he would huff all cute when someone teased him, (take a wild guess of both who teased him, and why Jason noticed this when he teased him) his cute appearance and his curly locks that were always so unkempt.
the realization hit him like a truck, oh gods, (you've been struck by, truck, ow! ... sorry) he liked him. like, a lot.
Jason liked Leo, but it was impossible to be vice versa. just impossible. there was absolutely no way Leo would ever like him back. he had made it clear he was very straight. and oh, what would he think of Jason if he ever told him! Jason had dug quite the hold for himself, and he wasn't exactly sure if he could exactly fly out of an imaginary metaphorical hole.
though the plan hadn't changed. his mind was bugging him to know what had happened, and if he could even help him. so he got up and left for the engine room.
Leo's pov
"he knows he knows he knows!" Leo paced back and forth, Kate watching his every move. "he was staring at me, like, my eyes and cheeks! oh, my gods, I knew I shouldn't have gone to dinner! It's all my fault!!" Leo saw kate smirk out of the corner of his peripheral.
it was your fault, so are you just gonna go unpunished?
Kate nagged. Leo froze. she was right, he did something that may have just screwed him over, and he was just going to sit around doing nothing?
without a second thought, Leo rushed into the bathroom and pulled out a fine razor. he ran his fingers along the edges, fitting the dimensions in his palm.
slowly, he ripped the blade against his skin, and a small clean cut ran across his wrist. the tiny drops of blood danced along his arm, so gracefully.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, he kept going, wincing each time the object hit his skin. though he started to feel faint.
"last one," he promised himself aloud. a quiet whimper was heard, and Leo whipped his head around way too fast to see Jason. "L-Leo" he cried, but before he could say anything else, the world spun, and the last thing he could see, was Kate, smiling wide like a maniac, then Leo collapsed on the floor.
Jason's pov
Jason was panicking, which was understandable. anyone in their right mind would it that happened to them. if you had a friend, yes had, if you actually had friends and went outside once in a while and then you saw them . . . waning to die, then the collapse of blood loss after, you would be understandably upset.
But Jason had a rather big crush on the guy, so uh, he freaked the fuck out. "L-LEO!" he ran toward him, sliding on his knees not wanting to wait any seconds away from him. he scooped the boy up in his arms, cradling his head ever so slightly.
his lightning-blue eyes travelled over to his arm. It was shredded. blood and broken skin littered his appendage, it looking like it had been covered in red paint.
he was shaking, Leo or Jason, he didn't know, maybe both. he screamed, "somebody! HELP" his voice banged around in the engine room's metal walls
"HELP" he wailed again, his heart throbbing like a hard hit on the head, he would know.
a second later Frank busted into the room, panting from most likely sprinting to see whatever the heck Jason was talking about. his eyed lay on the bloody boy, then widened.
not missing a beat he ran and scooped Leo out of Jason's arms, leaving him in shock on the cold tiles listening to the hum of the engine.
his thoughts went rapid, question, questions but no answers. he needed them. why! why was he hurting himself? on purpose!
if he really felt that way . . . why hadn't they noticed prior, they could have stopped him, helped him. Jason could have helped him.
but looking at his mangled arm broke something inside of him. he looked so . . . distant, gone, just... broken.
he stood on wobbly legs. maybe he could go visit him without breaking down completely.
His feet felt heavy as he scaled the metal stairs of the engine room, the door felt heavy as he tried to open it, and his heart felt heavy, for probably every reason you could think of.
Piper was outside the door, weeping just like Jason had been before. he knelt down to her, rubbing circles into her back. this should have felt awkward. this should have felt weird, or confusing. Piper wasn't his girlfriend anymore, but that didn't matter.
thinking like that sounded stupid to him. Leo was Piper's best friend and the other way around, in their brotherly/sisterly . . . siblingly way, Leo was more important to her than he was to Jason, and he was fine with it.
Annabeth came out later, clearly confused and shaken. she sat next to Piper for a second before confirming. "he's gonna be fine, but . . . what the hades happened?" she looked over at Jason. "Frank said you were screaming with him in your arms."
Jasn hin in the crook of his elbows. "I-I don't know, I just went to go see him and I saw . . . I saw him hurting himself." he sighed. "I'm sorry, I just didn't know what to do." Annabeth didn't say anything, and Piper took his hand, in a friendly way.
a little while later Annabeth spoke up, "he'll probably wake up soon, but we can't overwhelm him." the two looked at her for a little more explaining. "only one person should probably go in" "who?" Jason asked, not really sure why he asked her. "I don't know, but since you spoke I nominate you" Annabeth kept her eyes on the horizon.
"what! why me?" Jason asked, though Annabeth probably had an essay written in her head already. "a bunch of reasons, you found him like . . . that. and you and Piper are his best friends" she said, though Jason could tell there was something else.
if he had kept looking he would have saw Annabeth wink at Piper, Piper "oh!" ed silently and nodded at him. "I can wait" so it was settled.
Annabeth was proven to be right. soon after he sat down on the small rickety three-legged stool Leo began to stir.
Leo's pov
Leo's eyes flickered open, what happened, did it work? Oh god no! it worked, didn't it? damn it! he was such an idiot!
through when he opened his eyes he was met with a situation he much preferred over staring down the fates. Jason. Jason was leaning over him, tears brimming his eyes with a worried look on his face.
"H-hi," he said awkwardly. "Leo" he whispered, his tear ducts emptying themselves. oh no, no, no, no! this was not how it was supposed to go! why! why did his beautiful electric blue eyes be shedding tears, over him? Leo for gods damned sake!
he griped handfuls of bedsheets. "Look, Jay, I am so, so sorry" Leo looked down, ignoring Jason's surprised look. "I just, everyone else here is-" he was cut off. by Jason yes, but not quite talking.
smooth lips pressed onto his own. Jason was kissing him. HIM!
Leo was kind of freaking out. the placement of this moment was all wrong. first off, he had just tried to kill himself! and second! Jason was WAY out of his league! Jason was Jason, and Leo was just a stupid repair boy! sure Leo wished this could be but wasn't Jason straight??? this was all wrong, he should not have been wasting his time on Leo.
Jason pulled back. "don't you DARE try anything like that again" his voice hitched as he sobbed and sobbed, eventually pulling into a deep hug.
Leo, still in shock, saw Kate. not her usual happy menacing smirk, she looked angry, furious. she was standing off in the corner, pounding on some sort of invisible glass, yelling and cursing a lot at him. her voice was muffled, though Leo could make out some words.
NO! YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS! why! Why! wHY!
her form flickered.
Leo shut his eyes tight, then opened them. she was gone. he shifted his weight from leaning on Jason. "did i-" "fall asleep, yes"
"so did we?" Jason laughed, "yes, we did kiss" Leo blushed beet red. Jason squeezed tighter.
"Leo" Jason leaned back and took Leo's hands, "I love you, more than anything" Leo couldn't speak, of course, he did, but why? everything, just why?!
"I-I have loved you for as long as I can remember" Leo responded. "then promise me this" Leo stared into his eccentric blue eyes, the same vice versa with his amber, "let me be there for you," Jason said.
that had not been what Leo had been expecting. he thought "if you do that again I will make you suffer greater pain than death" which was more appropriate but now looking, he liked Jason's version better.
"If I love you, I am here for you. so let me" Jason urged, pressing further. Leo nodded, and Jason placed his lips on Leo's once more.
everything here was perfect. it just felt . . . right. he felt right. he felt . . . loved, admired cherished, and that was all he needed
Hello, human beans! thank you so much for getting to the end . . . y'know if ya did. and I hope you liked it Midnight4Lifers! I'm not really sure this is what you wanted but here ya go, sorry if it seems a little rushed I was thinking of it as a bit of a full story but I forgot it had to be a one-shot. . so uh, yeah! but thank you so much for tuning in, though now, I have to tune out! so for now! panwake! away!