part fourteen
━━━━ ⟡ ━━━━
Earlier, all my wounds had been wiped clean, yet I struggled to stand with the weight of the news on my mind. Why didn't I foresee this coming? It wouldn't take much to blow our cover. Even just a forgotten foot trail by the enemy border, or a stray radio call in the forest would be enough...
If I hadn't made Bakugo and I investigate the river, we never would've been attacked, and if I'd been stronger, we would've made it out of that forest unscathed. Bakugo wouldn't have had to call for help. This never would've happened...
Confronted with the wet snow, blowing harsh against the gaps in my goggles, the bite of winter left behind a fleshy burn. The ground ached beneath me, clinging to my boots to send me down to the grave: an attempt to punish my weakness.
It was too late. Washed away in murky grey, not even the sky could provide a semblance of hope.
Lynx stood against the incline despite that. Her hood had fallen free, letting her short, choppy hair rustle wildly in the face of the storm. I couldn't see the future like she did right then. The future where we solved this mission without loss. It was impossible to win this battle without sacrifice, and chasing after that pipe dream was a lost cause no matter how I saw it.
Still, she ordered us to circle back and reconvene with the base camp. Without our communications, the ambush plan couldn't commence further. And if matters were as bad as we thought, soon there would be no forces left to take on the mission.
The other hero pair were against the idea. They held the same construed light as I once did. That we were so close to finding them. That somewhere in the looming expanse, we'd reach the lab and end this once and for all.
Bakugo threw an explosion into the trees.
"This s'posed to be a fuckin' joke? You idiots don't know what the hell you're walking into. This is Shigaraki's quirk we're talking about. Some no-name extras like you wouldn't stand a chance against him! So, go ahead and throw your lives away if pride's what you care about. If you're not here to fix this mess, then I don't give a damn about you."
I wasn't sure if his warning convinced them. We didn't have time to wait around to find out. Lynx led us up the mountain, leaving the arguing duo behind.
The closer we got to the top, the more that dread began to fill my stomach. I knew what was coming and I didn't know how to face it.
Time wouldn't grant me the luxury of working it out.
The explosion rippled through the ground. We felt it under the snowmobile tracks. Reaching beyond the peaks in the trees up the hill, smoke trailed into the sky. Blaring sirens followed suit.
"I take back what I said!" Lynx hollered at us, revving her snowmobile. "We don't have time! Dynamight! Kill the engine on that thing!"
The vehicle jerked as Bakugo ripped through the snow. I didn't make the same mistake, holding him close, terrified that he'd be the one to throw himself away into the chaos above. Did I cause this same suffering to him? If this fear was the cost of companionship, I didn't know if I could bear it.
"...Bakugo. I think I know what we're facing."
"Oh, sure you do. I don't got time for your jokes, dumbass."
When I didn't fight him back, I think he realized it himself.
"Shit. Which dream? What happened? What did you see?"
He skidded around the corner. We were close enough to hear the cries and the gunfire and the crackle of quirks in the air.
"Just do what you do best," I insisted. "I need to go on my own. There's something I have to take care of."
"After all that, and you still can't fuckin' tell me? I thought you trusted me!"
At the top of the hill, Lynx's snowmobile skidded to a stop. She waved at us to follow her on foot.
"I'm not lettin' you run off," he warned.
Crouched on the edge of the forest, we met up with our leader. She put away her radio, taking our shoulders with her remaining confidence.
She spoke with brute honesty. "The situation is bad. They targeted the receiving bay first, where we keep our main transport vehicles. Communication with the city has been cut. Including military forces, we outnumber them, but with their quirks, we're outpowered. If we don't find a way to drive them off, they'll completely wipe us out."
"What's the captain's plan?"
She rubbed her brow in frustration. "...It already failed. It doesn't matter now. From what I know, he's directing our remaining forces. My partner told me everything. Dynamight, they want you on the front lines. Your quirk can give us a fighting chance against their artillery. Portatia, I need you to come with me. We need to evacuate the survivors in the medical bay."
"Not a chance." He grabbed my arm. "She stays with me."
"This isn't up for you to decide! Follow orders!"
"Fuck your orders! I do what I want!"
"The world's depending on us!"
I tried to take his hand, but he swatted me away.
"And you. I remembered your stupid nightmare. If you think I'm just gonna let you blindly kill yourself over some messed up dream you had, then you're damned wrong!"
Lynx looked on in confusion. "What's he talking about?"
I could feel the memory approaching, like when color bleeds through the page. It was spotty, imperfect. Still developing before us.
"That's not going to happen!" I wanted it to be true, but the words soured my lips.
"Bullshit! Nothing's changed! You're still the same suicidal maniac as before! How the hell am I s'pposed to trust you?"
His teeth flared in disgust, but under his shaggy hair, his eyes cried with betrayal. Glaring at me. Wounded in the chest. Just when I thought we'd finally come to make amends, and to finally nurture the trust we'd been shoving aside, denying, pretending never existed.
Katsuki Bakugo was my partner, but he needed to leave me behind if we ever wanted this war to end.
Lynx gave us a warning. We had to go. My partner's bloody eyes shot daggers at me. I tried to remember the way they looked when they sparkled with curiosity, as his fingers rolled over the red stones I refused to part with.
Out of my frustration, with nothing left to lose, I fiddled the earring free and shoved it into his palm. It lost its ruby color, tarnishing into dirty gold.
"Do you think I want this? I'm terrified of what we could lose. Don't you get it?!" I cried, clutching my hands around his fist. "You're the one I turn to when all hope is lost. You're the reason I fight. Because someday, I'm going to prove you wrong. There's no one – nothing else I care more about! So just – shut up, stay alive, and win like you always do!"
Bakugo clenched his jaw at me, huffing through his nose. I thought there was no getting through to him. But as I rolled to my feet, he pulled me into his coat, my face falling into the crook of his neck.
"Find me when it's over," he muttered softly into my hair. "And don't tell me what to do, moron."
With his gentle words, I was only reminded of what was at stake: How far I'd have to fall if we lost. Lynx called for me. Bakugo brushed himself off, melting the snow, ignited by his own roaring fire.
"Watch her back, Whiskers!" He barked at our leader, digging his heel into the ground. "Don't make me regret this!"
We shared a parting glance. A promise without words. And then we went our separate ways.
━━━━━━━━
If you thought you were going to die in what would be to come, would you change things? Would you do anything different leading up to the final moments?
I had asked myself those questions, running behind Lynx in the snow, ducking under the cover of trees to reach the eastern entrance. The violence invaded like a virus, surging at the critical areas, leaving the rest of the body intact. With the villain's focus centered on preventing communications and wiping out our own artillery at the receiving bay, we had reason to believe the smaller bays would be unaffected; that there was a chance the wounded would make it back home.
But for that to happen, they needed to be boarded onto the helicopters, where they'd be airlifted and concealed under the cloaking quirk of a fellow agency hero.
"That's where your quirk comes in handy, Portatia," Lynx explained, bounding through the forest edge. "You can shorten the distance and help transport the wounded. Though, if I understand correctly, your quirk is a little – would you say – tough on the stomach?"
"More than that. Depending on their status, my quirk could worsen their condition. It's risky."
She pulled me aside, crouching against a divot in the ground. Her head perked, listening for the enemy. Gunfire rang in the distance. The earth shivered beneath us.
"It might be a risk we have to take..." With her words, I watched her eyes grow distant and cold.
Separated from our partners, we were left with each other to push on and fulfill our duty. But I feared the future she saw. Surely, saving everyone and going home to dream of these days as a bad nightmare could only be a fantasy. There would be a cost. I thought part of it would be my life.
Lynx's eyes darted to the rustle of branches. "I don't know what you and Dynamight were talking about back there, but we need you," she muttered. "And, from one comrade to another, there's more to life than saving others. You've got to live for yourself – "
A projectile pierced the air, slicing past my ear, and cracking into the branches. Another followed, hitting the snowbank. I grabbed her arm to teleport us away.
Lynx took a glance at the fallen object in her hand, before chucking it. "She's from the villain group. Don't get hit or you'll end up paralyzed in under an hour."
"What?!"
"Guess you didn't pay attention during our meeting earlier. Busy being distracted by Mr. Hotshot – I get it."
"I-I wasn't!"
A poison dart kissed the sleeve of my coat, tearing a rough path as it hit the tree ahead.
"Take cover. Figure out where she's hiding."
We parted in the trees, splitting up to throw off her aim. Can't focus on two heroes at once. This was the second time I found myself staring up into the treetops, waiting for an imminent threat to emerge and find a way to take me out. I didn't think I'd ever get comfortable with feeling my nerves crackling under my skin, boiling the blood down my neck.
Silence settled in. She wasn't firing. But now, the poison sharp-shooter was both nowhere and everywhere, waiting for her chance to strike.
The trees around me were far from the visions of my nightmare. I sensed the battlefield drawing near, yet I wasn't afraid. Contradictory. Knowing you're going to die should be a feeling of only fear, but because of that, I knew whilst hidden in the trees, spotting the villain perched in the forest ceiling, aiming her shot at the feline hero of the north, that it wasn't my time yet.
Getting to Lynx was a risk in itself. Teleporting us out of the forest was another. And if it wasn't already clear how unyielding the forces of dimensional space could act on our weak, fleshy bodies, I figured her curdled retching into the snow would be enough of a tell.
"Thanks for saving me back there, kid. You weren't kidding," she coughed. "But the plan stands. We'll take care of her later. We're running out of time.
Before I could question her, she turned to face me, wiping the narrow trail of blood off her cheek. My stomach dropped.
"I've got time before it kicks in."
"But – what happens after that?"
"Dunno. The medical bay might've been able to fix me up, but we both know it's out of commission right now. Just – don't worry about it.
As if that would convince me of anything but worry. The world had painted the snowcat hero as an unstoppable veteran. But my dreams had spoken otherwise. And with the blood rolling down her skin, I feared the glimpse of reality I'd seen before.
"C'mon. Don't look at me like that. We're all going home after this, okay? The whole agency. You. Me. And your bratty partner too."
Her reassurance didn't settle right with me. Happy endings were only found in the pages of storybooks, not on the cusp of death's door. Still, I followed her path out of the forest, treading carefully in her footsteps.
"Lynx, where are the others?"
"Scattered. Most of our heroes are defending the base. A few have already begun to help evacuate. But that update was 30 minutes ago."
"Why don't we meet up with your partner? I'm sure he'll have a better idea of the situation."
She pushed a snowy branch to the side, stepping free into the clearing.
"Yeah... We could."
My suggestion was left in the barren forest. I didn't blame her. She seemed too focused on the task at hand to listen to some underling like me.
We followed the sound of engines rolling around in the snow, and eventually, it led us to the back end of the medical bay, where just as Lynx predicted, the retreat was already in place.
Looking down the hill at the snowy tarmac, watching the other heroes and the handful of military personnel run around like frantic little ants, Lynx tried her radio again. The others were managing the chaos, playing hand-off, and moving machinery; oiled cogs in a wheel. I was reminded of how little a role I played in all of this. They didn't need me. Even if I were useful, I could be replaced by another, more capable heroine. The world would be fine without Portatia, the teleporting hero.
The girl behind the mask of a name was equally, if not more forgettable. And, as for Bakugo, well... He'd already lived a life without there being an 'us'. Surely, he could move on without me. There was a dream inside him that wouldn't quit burning until he reached it. I wanted to see him in that glory, but... I couldn't feel it in the cards for me. Not as I stood by Lynx's side, reliving the nightmare in my mind, wondering when it would arrive. I could only rifle through my bad hand and try to make as many good plays as I could.
We joined the others. Lynx took command again, sending me off into the wreck. The bay had been hit, but the damage was minimal enough. "Find the patients with the least critical conditions. People that won't take a beating from your quirk. We'll get the rest."
Flashing in and out of the building, situating myself under the flickering lights, searching the halls for patient rooms, I had to keep my chin out of the water. Every dip and splash brought back the glimpses of the rattling hospital bed and that horrible, eye-patched man staring down at me.
I handed off another wounded soldier to the heroes, taking him into the back of the helicopter as he hobbled on his remaining leg.
Just as the situation was finally settling down, a rumble cracked through the cold air. We watched the West wing crumble, falling into a cloud of snow.
One of the heroes was quick to panic. "Did we clear that area? Are we missing any people?"
"We left that side unoccupied. It's been housing most of our equipment – "
"No." Lynx spoke up. "That changed this week. There's one."
She pulled me aside. I could feel her anxiety feeding through the grip on my arm.
"Leave the rest to us. There's a man in there. The escapee from the lab. Dr. Yao. Bring him back to us, alive. The captain needs him." She paused. "...And he deserves to go home too."
I promised Lynx I would find him. If the man could survive wandering these harsh mountains with severe internal bleeding, I knew he'd still be alive.
Before I could leave amidst the chaos on the tarmac, Lynx said to me, "Make it back to us Portatia. We can catch the return flight home together."
I nodded my head at her foolish dream, abandoning the slowly paralyzing snowcat to the rumbling engines and the blustery wind. It was only a matter of time before she'd be taking her final breaths, handing me the future in the bolster of her blade.
(AN: the plot thickens... dw there'll be more Bakugo to come. Plenty more actually...)