Heavy angst but ends up happy in the end :)
This took so long I'm so sorry 😭
"I've done it!" You smiled cheerfully, "Tony look, I actually made my first suit! See? It's got a thermal heater for when we're in the cold, a heart monitor to warn you if you—"
"Yeah, that's great Y/n. Can we talk later I'm busy."
"Oh," Your smile dropped and the giddiness in your step faltered, "Yeah, of course."
"Thanks." He replied flatly, not even bothering to turn and face you.
"Wasn't important anyway." You mumbled, pushing your suit to the side for him to see later, "See you at lunch."
Nothing...
This wasn't the first time that someone, mostly Tony, has ignored what you had to say or show. It happened a lot since that mission last week. Every since that little screw up, the whole Tower has been avoiding anything to do with you. It hurt, more than hurt, it killed you inside. You never thought such close friends could cut you off so easily, especially that fast. When you tried to explain yourself to Steve he shut you down, you made lunch for the team and they ordered out and didn't tell you, or the time where you actually did an amazing job on the next mission they ignored you.
The hateful glares and uneasy eyes anytime you entered a room made you feel conscious about the way you looked, smelled, or sounded.
They gave up on you..or so you thought.
"Hey, doll. Whatcha up too?"
Bucky. The lightness in his voice, the smile. Not once did he ever think what you created or your opinions didn't matter. He thought the world of you, you were important to someone. To him. In a hateful Tower he managed to sneak past the dark and right into your space, giving off light and smiles that lasted for infinity. You couldn't help but cling onto what happiness he ever offered you, quickly making you feel certain things that just kept blossoming with every compliment.
"I just, uhm, created my first suit." You sighed, pointing back at Tony's lab, "Nothing special, it's the first one anyways."
"You created a suit? By yourself?" He asked, the awe in his eyes made your heart flutter, "Doll that's amazing!"
"Tony doesn't think so. . . maybe it was because I based it off his original platform." You thought out loud, chewing on your nail in thought, "If I made something of my own I bet he'd be impressed then—"
"No, doll, that's—"
"A great a idea!" You stood up suddenly, disregarding his previous interruption as you hugged him and gave him a sweet short kiss, "Thank you Bucky, you're amazing."
Sighing, Bucky stood as he watched you leave and skip down the hall. The hope you have yourself was to cover up the fact that you were torn. You were delusional and oblivious. And it hurt him to see you hype yourself up for a group of people that didn't see anything in you.
*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
You knock fast and strong on Bucky's door, practically flying through the air with how high you were bouncing. You were sure this time, 100% sure that this would grab Tony's attention. You wanted a double check with Bucky to see if he was impressed, nothing could impress him except for Wanda with her powers.
It had to work.
The door opened and revealed Bucky who looked like he was sleeping as he rubbed his eyes.
"Doll? What are you doing? It's 4 in the morning—" He asked, peering down at you before making direct eye contact with your new friend, "What the hell is that?!"
"You like it? It's not just a suit anymore, it's my own personal robot! It focuses in on your voice and then listens to anything you say, retinal scanners, he generates heat or AC, can literally order anything you want, and wait for it!" You pause for dramatic affect, doing little jazz hands, "It can put it's self back together!"
Bucky's jaw was slack, he couldn't properly gather words. You went above and beyond to prove to Tony that you could be helpful and interesting again. If Tony couldn't see how hard you worked, then Bucky was truly the only person who took an interest in your work and life.
"That's, Y/n, that's fucking awesome." He whispered, watching the robot dance around while you did.
"I know! And it only took me six hours! Normally, this kind of thing would take me a day, maybe two. But, I'm just. . I want to prove to everyone that I can do it. And what better way than to make a personalized crime fighting robot?!" You smiled, clapping your hands.
Bucky chuckled lightly, running his hands through his hair, "If Tony isn't impressed by this, I'm taking you somewhere where they would be. You did an amazing job, doll. I'm proud of you."
You felt your face flush heavily, looking down at your feet you couldn't help the goofy smile, "Thank you. Now, off to show Tiny. He's probably awake by now."
"Good luck, doll." He smiled back, waving, "Good luck. . ."
Finding Tony wasn't hard, you heard him drilling something from two halls down. You were definitely prepared this time, prepared to prove him wrong and earn his attention again.
"Tony?" You called out, skipping down to his lab doors, "Tony!"
"Yes?" He stopped his drilling, facing you with a hint of annoyance, "How can I— what the fuck!"
"I know!" You laughed, "See? I told you I could do something to amaze you. Look, it's got all the gadgets and everything you need. You can even order take out and personalize him to recognize your voice only! He can take down at least an army of guys before running out of steam, he can lift the weight of a tank, and get this he can fly. I based him off your suit, sure, but the rest was my modifications. So, how do you like him?"
Tony furrowed his brows, walking around the giant robot a couple times before stopping in front of you. He seemed to be in a state of shock and. . amazement?
"He's not bad." He nodded in approval, making you smile widely, "How do you get in it?"
"You don't," You shook your head, "He's a robot Tony, not an animatronic. You can't crawl into him, it defeats the purpose of making him a robot."
"Okay, nice. He'll make company for breakfast." He gave a tight-lipped smile before walking back over to his desk and continuing his work.
"Breakfast?" You raised a brow, "Tony, this is a fighting machine. He's not made to cook eggs inside his stomach. He's mainly made to fight, side codes like ordering and heaters are just for fun."
Rolling his eyes, he turned in his chair with a distant look, "Oh, sorry. Forgot to ask but uhm, has he been tested? Field wise? Great reflex's? Is the damn thing able to strictness from attack to calm and not turn on us?"
"Well, no," You bit your lip, "But test runs are still in progress, a week tops and he'll be good to go."
"A week tops and we might be the worlds greatest hero's on a tomb stone, Y/n." He gritted his teeth, "You mean to tell me you built this and didn't test it first? You were up and going all this time and forgot to make it work properly?"
"I—I'm sorry, I was just excited to show you what I got so far that I didn't—"
"Of course you didn't, and you want to know why?" He shouted at you, striding up to be just a few inches away from you, "It's because you don't think in time of need! If you did Sam wouldn't be hospitalized right now! He'd be okay, walking, making stupid jokes! You jeopardized his life and for what?! To save yourself?!"
"It wasn't to save myself and you know it! Sam knows it, Bucky knows it, even Nat knows it! It was to save everyone's life, I put mine on the line so you could stand here and lecture me about it!" You had lost all composure as soon as he brought the mission into this, "We all knew what this was when we signed, and because you can't accept the fact that sometimes things happen then it's your problem. I have done nothing but try and talk to you and get your attention, you've done nothing but shut me down every time! You and the rest of the team! Why can't you just accept that at least he's stable and I saved your life?"
"Because you're useless!"
That was it. Those were the words he's wanted to say for so long, and it finally slipped. You were a lot of things, but never useless.
"I am not." You simply stated, balling your hands into fists.
"You are! Truly, Y/n! I don't understand why Fury has you out on the fields every goddamn day, but it kills me to see you fail at every training or minor side mission. You don't go on big missions like me and Cap for a reason. And it's because you're not ready. And if you're not ready, you're useless. That's how it is. That's how the fucking world works. So excuse me, if I seem a little off or completely insane. But if ignoring you means you're off the field then so be it."
You couldn't even muster up words, you just stood there in shock. It took you a minute to register what he said and how he actually felt, but once it did the tears built up and never stopped. You grabbed the controlling tablet to your robot and threw it at him, hoping it would at least hit his head but it didn't.
"All I wanted was to show you I was worth it." Was all you whispered before storming out the lab and up the stairs.
Useless. You never thought of yourself as such a thing, nor should anyone have. But you felt so empty, like a piece of you was actually ripped out of your soul and thrown away. The frustration of the episode made your tears worse. Realization finally hit when you figured out just how meaningless you were to the Tower, how they think so very little of you all the time. Full on sobs left your mouth as you rushed to your room, slamming the door behind you. You jumped though, not expecting Bucky to be laying on your bed with one of your stuffed toys in his hand.
"And if you're not ready, you're useless."
The reminder of that sentence made you cry harder when Bucky asked if you were okay. You just simply threw yourself onto him and cried hard, deeply hurt by what you had just come to terms with.
"Hey, hey," He shushed you, gently running his fingers over your back and through your hair in an attempt to calm you, "What happened? What'd he say?"
"He thinks I'm useless," You sob, pulling back and wiping your eyes, "He thinks because I made the robot and didn't test it yet it's a bad invention. He—He blames me for Sam and said that I'm not ready. Not ready means you're useless. He says I fail at everything, even training. He doesn't even know why I'm still on the team, Bucky."
Just seeing you cry made his blood boil, but knowing what Tony said to you to make you cry like this just pissed him off further. You didn't deserve this, the amount of thought and effort you put into anything you do gives him enough reason to put anyone who discourages you six feet under.
"I tried Bucky, I really did." You cry even harder, "But I can't do it. I can't live knowing I'm the reason Sam isn't awake, or that the team hates my guts for it. I can't stay here."
"You deserve to be here just as much as anyone else does, even more than me." He kissed your nose, wiping the tears from your cheeks, "Tony is wrong. You try hard, harder than him to be the best you can be. I'll be damned if he thinks he's gotten away with making you cry. You are a talented, kind, passionate, and the most caring person I know. He doesn't deserve, you or your work. He can shove it up his ass and watch as you, doll, take on the world. Because one day, you'll come back so much stronger than him and show him he isn't special."
You rest your head on his chest, feeling the safety as he wraps his arms around you tight.
"Tomorrow, we leave and never look back. But for now you need some rest, it's late and you're exhausted." He kissed the top of your head, propping you up higher so your face rested against his neck, "Don't worry about anything, I'll fix it. I believe in everything you show me or have to say, okay? I love you, doll. More than you know."
"I love you too, Bucky. Thank you for not giving up on me." You yawn, sniffling before closing your eyes.
"I'll always be by your side, no matter what. Just like you've done for me."
Shortly after that, you fell asleep. The coffee and endless hours without sleep caught up quickly. Bucky's arms tightened around you more when you shifted to get more comfortable. Tony wasn't going to slide with making his Doll feel this way, not without consequences. He was going to prove to this damn place that you are in fact worth it, and always will be.