LOTF: Before and After

็”ฑ emmakatelyn8

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"๐ˆ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐š ๐๐ข๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ฅ๐." "๐๐จ, ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ๐ง'๐ญ... ๐ข๐ญ ๐ฐ๐š๐ฌ ๐š ๐๐ข๐Ÿ๐Ÿ๐ž๐ซ๐ž๐ง๐ญ... ๆ›ดๅคš

Phase 1: Chapter 1
Phase 1: Chapter 2
Phase 1: Chapter 3
Phase 1: Chapter 4
Phase 1: Chapter 5
Phase 1: Chapter 6
Phase 1: Chapter 7
Phase 1: Chapter 8
Phase 2: Chapter 1
Phase 2: Chapter 2
Phase 2: Chapter 3
Phase 2: Chapter 4
Phase 2: Chapter 5
Phase 2: Chapter 6
Phase 2: Chapter 7
Phase 2: Chapter 8
Phase 2: Chapter 9
Phase 2: Chapter 10
Phase 3: Chapter 1
Phase 3: Chapter 2
Phase 3: Chapter 3
Phase 3: Chapter 4
Phase 3: Chapter 5
Phase 3: Chapter 6
Phase 3: Chapter 7
Phase 3: Chapter 8
Phase 3: Chapter 9
Phase 3: Chapter 10
Phase 3: Chapter 11
Phase 3: Chapter 12
Phase 3: Chapter 13
Phase 3: Chapter 14
Phase 3: Chapter 15
Phase 3: Chapter 16
Phase 3: Chapter 17
Phase 3: Chapter 18
Phase 3: Chapter 19
Phase 3: Chapter 20
Phase 3: Chapter 21
Phase 3: Chapter 22
Phase 3: Chapter 23
Phase 3: Chapter 24
Phase 3: Chapter 25
Phase 3: Chapter 26
Phase 3: Chapter 27
Phase 3: Chapter 28
Phase 3: Chapter 29
Phase 3: Chapter 30
Phase 3: Chapter 31
Phase 3: Chapter 32
Phase 3: Chapter 33
Phase 3: Chapter 34
Phase 3: Chapter 35
Phase 3: Chapter 36
Phase 3: Chapter 37
Phase 3: Chapter 38
Phase 3: Chapter 39
Phase 3: Chapter 40
Phase 3: Chapter 41
Phase 3: Chapter 42
Phase 3: Chapter 43
Phase 3: Chapter 44
Phase 3: Chapter 45
Phase 3: Chapter 46
Phase 3: Chapter 47
Phase 3: Chapter 48
Phase 3: Chapter 49
Phase 3: Chapter 50
Phase 3: Chapter 51
Phase 3: Chapter 52
Phase 3: Chapter 53
Phase 3: Chapter 54
Phase 3: Chapter 55
Phase 3: Chapter 56
Phase 3: Chapter 57
Phase 3: Chapter 58
Phase 3: Chapter 59
Phase 3: Chapter 60
Phase 3: Chapter 61
Phase 3: Chapter 62
Phase 3: Chapter 63
Phase 3: Chapter 64
Phase 3: Chapter 65
Phase 3: Chapter 66
Phase 3: Chapter 67
Phase 3: Chapter 68
Phase 3: Chapter 69
Phase 3: Chapter 70
Phase 3: Chapter 71
Phase 3: Chapter 72
Epilogue
A/N and What's Next
Ralph Langley
Jeffery Langley
Laurie Langley
Evan Merridew
Paige Merridew
Jack Merridew
Tony Hughes
Sam & Eric Brooks
Roger Conroy
Simon Bennett
Conclusion

Piggy

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็”ฑ emmakatelyn8

CRITICAL CONTENT WARNING: graphic, vivid depictions of murder and first person POV of the experience of death

It wasn't his name, not his real name anyway, but it might as well have been. It was a name cruelly invented by a group of mean kids in his first grade class, and it carried him all the way through until the end of fourth grade.

Military school was supposed to be different. It was supposed to be a fresh start, a chance to be someone else entirely; his true self. But that chance didn't last very long at all.

If Pieter Kingston didn't have trust issues before, he certainly did now.

The first friend Pieter made at Bainbridge Military Academy was a boy named James, or Jamie as he was better known. Jamie was his first roommate when Pieter started at the academy in fifth grade. At first, the short but slender boy was kind and polite to Pieter. The two roommates got along well for the first couple weeks of the new school year. They shared stories of their previous schools, talked about their families, their hobbies, the lives they left behind to come here. After nearly two weeks of getting to know each other, Pieter made the decision to tell his new and first real friend; to trust him with the awful nickname that stuck to him like glue.

"They really called you that? Piggy?" Jamie asked, his eyebrows raised in either surprise or judgment. Pieter couldn't tell which.

"All the time" Pieter confirmed with a sad nod.

"Damn" Jamie sighed as he absorbed the information. He left the topic of conversation die out from there, and Pieter assumed that was the end of it, and of the cruel nickname.

But he couldn't have been more wrong.

A couple nights later, Pieter made his way across the floor his dorm room was on on his way back from the main hall where he spent the last hour and a half studying for his big history test the following day. As he got close to the slightly cracked open door, he realized that Jamie wasn't in their room alone. Pieter heard the muffled sound of two different voices. Jamie had better luck at making friends that he did, and did so at a much faster rate. By the second week of school, Jamie already had a handful of friends. Whereas the boy was Pieter's only real friend thus far.

So when Pieter heard Jamie talking with someone in their room, he assumed he just invited a friend over to study or something of the sort. But just as he was about to open the door the rest of the way, he heard something that made him stop dead in his tracks. He froze in place and eavesdropped in hopes that he didn't hear what he thought he just heard.

"Piggy! No freakin' way!" the less familiar voice laughed through the words. "That's gold!"

"Right?" Jamie laughed too, "I swear I could barely keep myself from laughing when he told me."

"Piggy, it's like Pieter but the fat farm animal version" the other boy added with a snort and a chuckle. "He's Miss Piggy the Muppet but with a penis!"

"It's gotta be cause he's fat, right?" Jamie laughed.

"Well duh!" the other belted out joyously again.

Pieter stood on the other side of the door, begging the tears welling behind his eyes to stay there, just for a few moments longer, long enough so he could get in and out. He bravely pushed the door open, revealing himself to his roommate and the company he was keeping. Both boys locked their eyes on him in horror, clearly wondering exactly how much Jamie's roommate overheard.

The glistening tears welling in his eyes behind the glasses that made his blue eyes pop told them everything they needed to know. How every much he heard, it was more than too much. They stared at him in silence as Pieter finally found the courage to move his legs, drop his books on his bed, and walk out without speaking a word. He didn't know exactly where he was going, just that he had to go somewhere; anywhere. As Pieter closed the door behind him, he heard the silence break between the two boys inside.

"There goes Piggy the fatty!" Jamie's friend started laughing again, laughing at Pieter.

Pieter finally let the tears fall from his eyes. They trickled down behind the frames of his glasses, down to his chin and neck. His skin felt hot with anger and sadness as he walked swiftly through the hallway. He opened the door to the communal washroom, relieved that nobody was there to bear witness to his first of many emotional breakdowns of this school year, and however many years he had left at the academy.

It took about a day and a half for Pieter to become Piggy across the campus. It started with just a few boys he recognized as Jamie's friends, and then more boys in their grade, and then some from the grades just below and above them, and eventually the majority of the school. For the second time in his life, at the second school he'd ever been to, his identity was attached to his weight like a conjoined twin. His name wasn't his name, his heart wasn't important, his mind didn't matter. All he was was his appearance, his weight, a name that wasn't really his name. No value was placed on who he was on the inside, no, only what he looked like on the outside.

Any chance he had at just being another boy, at just being a student, a cadet, a friend was gone. Pieter was gone too, leaving Piggy the fatty, Piggy the target, Piggy the outcast, in his place.

Military school wasn't different after all. In fact, the only thing that was different was the part of the state he lived in, and the names and faces of the kids who dictated what little value he had.

Piggy might not have gone to school with good people, but he came from good people. Well, one good person really. His birth father abandoned the family when he was just a baby, less than a year old. He was an only child, and his mother struggled to stay on her feet for the first years of his life.

Cynthia Kingston spent the first three years after Piggy was born working minimum wage jobs for forty-five or sixty hours a week just to make ends meet. She left her son with her own parents who were retired most of the time. They also lived with the boy's grandparents too, given that Cynthia couldn't afford to pay rent at the time.

She met her second husband when Piggy was just four years old. They got married a year and a half later, a marriage that lasted less than three years. The man who became like a father figure to young Piggy was having an affair with an ex-girlfriend, and Cynthia caught him cheating after he mixed up their numbers and dialed Cynthia's by mistake, thinking he was calling his mistress. She and Piggy were on their own again after that. But only for about a year or so, before Cynthia met the next man. She didn't marry, and instead dated around for a couple years before she finally met Robert Dingledine. Robert was a major in the army, and a family man without a family. His previous wife died of breast cancer about seven years before he met Cynthia and Piggy.

This one, Cynthia told her ten-year-old son, was a good one, a keeper, a real gentleman. Piggy heard his mother say that about half a dozen other men before Robert Dingledine. At this point, the boy wasn't exactly convinced. He might've been young, but he wasn't stupid. He rode this merry go round before, and he knew that it usually ended with him saying goodbye to another father figure, wiping his mother's tears as she grieved another failed romance.

But it turned out that Cynthia wasn't so wrong about Robert after all. At least, Piggy had no reason to think so just yet. They dated for a year, and finally got married a few months after Piggy turned eleven. He was already at Bainbridge Military Academy by then, and the wedding had to be planned around the boy's spring break schedule.

Meanwhile, his home life was unsteady but still not overly bad. On the other hand, things at school only got worse and worse for Piggy as he progressed through his late elementary years. The bullying that started in first grade was becoming less and less manageable with each passing year. As the kids got older, they also got crueler. In kindergarten, it hadn't mattered to any of the other kids what he looked like. It wasn't until they started paying attention to appearance that they realized Piggy didn't look like most of the other students. He was obviously overweight, and not just a little bit. His mother was on the heavier side too, but not as much as her son was. Cynthia never learned how to manage and regulate her own diet, and so it was a lost skill when it came to raising her son. She just allowed Piggy to eat whenever he was hungry. And as he got bigger, so did his appetite, opening up a never ending bottomless cycle of eating, getting hungry, eating more, getting hungry again, and so on.

Piggy was aware that he was different from his peers, but only after his classmates pointed it out in first grade. By the second grade, he learned to hate his body and began to tie it to his overall self-worth. The nickname Piggy was already spreading across the school like head lice, and most people who weren't in his homeroom class didn't even know his real name. It was very early on that Piggy began attaching his weight to his worth, and as they say, old habits die hard.

That is, if you don't die first.

Piggy never told his mom about the bullying at school. He just stayed quiet about it, both when he came home and at school itself. When teachers did see it, they shut the mocking kids down but the very moment they turned away, the bullying would resume. That was one thing about bullies that adults tended not to understand; they were good at hiding it, only acting out when they couldn't factually be caught for it.

Piggy started at Bainbridge Military Academy the year his mom met Major Robert Dingledine. It wasn't a coincidence either. A few short months after the two started dating, Robert suggested military school to Cynthia. He told her about how he too was once a little on the chubbier side and struggled to make friends in mainstream schooling. Once he started at the military school, Robert got in better shape, made friends, and his academic performance improved too. It wasn't a horrible idea, Cynthia thought. She knew her son didn't have many friends, it just never occurred to her that it could be deeper than that.

Piggy wasn't against the idea of military school so long as it wasn't some sort of premature commitment to actually join the military later on. Robert assured him that it wasn't, that many boys who go to military school go onto college and have normal careers without ever serving a day in the military. It was just a school, he assured the boy. After realizing that it couldn't possibly be worse than his current elementary school, Piggy was on board. It was a helpful nudge toward military school knowing he'd get to leave his old school behind along with the bullies who made everyday a living nightmare.

Military school was supposed to be life changing, like it was for Major Dingledine. But Piggy's first two years of experience at Bainbridge Military Academy weren't panning out to be what he hoped. As it turned out, kids were cruel no matter what part of the state you lived in, no matter what kind of school you went to. Fourth and fifth grade boys would be fourth and fifth grade boys, which meant nothing good for an easy target like Piggy.

Telling his fourth grade roommate, Jamie, about his former nickname back at his old school was probably the biggest mistake Piggy could've made. Actually, perhaps thinking Jamie was ever his friend at all was a bigger one. Piggy supposed it didn't really matter now. It ended the same way, just like at his old school, with him as the butt of every joke.

Piggy wasn't assigned to a squadron until the second semester of his sixth grade year. It took longer than expected for him to meet the standards for official squadron placement. Of course, his weight and lack of athleticism had a lot to do with it. It seemed to have a lot to do with everything, Piggy thought. But when he finally did get his squad placement, he was mortified. One of the top cadets in his squadron was Jack Merridew; the boy Piggy learned to fear in every respect. Jack made the bullies at his old school look like angels. It didn't help ease Piggy's anxiety that Jack's best friend, Roger 'the psychopath' Conroy, was also on the squadron.

Soon after being placed in the Unit 8 squadron, Piggy realized that a boy from his own grade and class was also in the running for the top spot on the squadron. Unlike Jack, his competition was much more respectable. Ralph Langley hadn't talked much to Piggy before he was put on the squadron in the last few months of their sixth grade year, but he was always kind to Piggy in passing. Piggy assumed that he must've been out of the loop; that he somehow hadn't heard Piggy's nickname, or figured out that being seen with him was basically social suicide. It didn't occur to Piggy that there was a fifth grade boy on the planet who just might not care about all that superficial crap that had such a strong hold on Piggy and his self-esteem.

A few months after Piggy joined the squadron, the last ranking ceremony of that school year came around, as did the end of the year itself. What a relief it was to Piggy and many others that Jack lost the position of colonel to Ralph. Piggy had one of the lowest positions on the squad. He was down at the back of the line with the younger boys, mostly second and third graders. And while he normally would've dwelled on that for at least a little, he was just happy that he wouldn't be under Jack Merridew's command when they went off to England for the international training program come September.

Piggy spent a lot of that following summer training so he'd be at least somewhat prepared for how rigorous it would be training on a real military base. At first, he questioned whether or not he even wanted to go to England. All cadets in Unit 8 had the option to opt out of the program if they weren't interested in going overseas, but Robert assured Piggy that it would be the chance of a lifetime. Not only would he be training in England, but he'd be living there for two months. The things he'd see and learn would be priceless. Classroom learning couldn't compare to hands-on experience, Robert said. After Robert agreed to spend the summer training his new wife's son to prep him for the trip, the boy finally agreed a mere week before the deadline to opt out came around.

Piggy didn't worry about going on a trip with a bunch of boys he didn't know very well. He was used to being stuck in a room with kids all day, not a friend among them. He was just thankful that bus and plane seats for the trip were assigned in advance. Even though he got stuck sitting next to a little kid, he was just glad to skip that terrible moment where everyone would choose to partner with their friends and he'd be stuck awkwardly standing alone, all eyes on him, the only one without someone to sit with.

Piggy flew only a couple times before. He flew just a few months earlier to attend his mother's and Robert's wedding in Hawaii. The only other time was when he was nine for a tropical vacation with his grandparents over Christmas break. Piggy was more paranoid than most, and he actually did worry about flying a little. His last flight months earlier was a successful one, and even so, he still spent a lot of that time worrying that something bad might happen. Luckily, they made it to Hawaii safe and sound. His mom got hitched, they spent a couple days on the beach, and then they got home to Georgia safe and sound. Even so, Piggy worried a little getting on the plane to England. He wasn't sure what he thought might happen, but he worried anyway because he was always worrying about something. He wouldn't be him if he wasn't.

Piggy fell asleep like most of the boys did a few hours into the flight. When he woke up, it was still dark and many others were still asleep. He could hear a few faint whispers throughout the plane. His seat mate was still sound asleep. Piggy sat in silence as he watched out the dark window in an attempt to fall back asleep. As soon as he started to drift off again, he was awoken by an abrupt jolt. It felt like only a few minutes passed since he woke up the first time, but it was daylight out now so he figured he must've fallen back asleep.

Stupid turbulence, Piggy thought to himself. He was annoyed that it woke him up. And just as he was beginning to question whether or not it would be worth trying to get a little more sleep, another abrupt drop caused him to bite down on his tongue, and shook the last of the sleeping kids awake. Boys started talking in hushed, fearful whispers around Piggy as his tongue swelled. When the next drop came, the whispers turned to a few screams and shouts of panic. And then came another and another drop, followed by the unexpected sound of the emergency alarm. It all happened so fast, and sent the entire plane of boys into a panic.

Piggy covered his ears as his heartbeat picked up. He could hear and feel it beating aggressively inside his chest, as if pushing to escape. Piggy wanted to escape right now too, but what he needed first and foremost was for everyone to stop screaming and the blaring alarm to stop threatening to make him deaf.

Piggy felt the hot tears pouring down his face when the plane started dropping and kept dropping, but it was too loud to hear his own voice. As the plane continued the consistent fall toward the ocean, Piggy joined some of the others in sobbing for their lives, as if it might make a difference. He thought about his mom, tried to remember if he told her he loved her when she dropped him off at the academy in August. He couldn't remember. He couldn't think long enough to even remember his own name right now. The plane was pulling at him at such an intense speed, it was making his chest physically hurt so much he thought it might just burst.

The next thing Piggy remembered was thrashing and flailing around in the water. He could see the top of the plane slowing sinking under as the last few boys crawled their way up and out before it did. Piggy wasn't a strong swimmer, and if they didn't figure out what to do pretty damn quickly here, he was surely going to go under with the plane.

It felt like forever before the lifeboat was blown up, but in reality it hadn't been more than a few minutes. Ralph and Jack acted rather quickly. Piggy was one of the first ones on board on account of the fact that he whined and pleaded until Ralph convinced Jack to let him up before the rest of the little ones.

Piggy watched, a strange expression on his face and feeling in his chest, as Jack jumped to Ralph's aid on the lifeboat the moment he noticed Ralph was hurt. Ralph was not hurt nearly as bad as Captain Benson, who Jack just abandoned, Piggy noted. Piggy never really paid much attention to Ralph Langley before, and he tried real hard not to pay attention to Jack Merridew at all. But now that he was forced to, he realized that the two were actually friends, despite being nothing alike. They were close friends, judging by Jack's reaction to Ralph's broken arm. It was an odd sight, Piggy thought. He couldn't imagine let alone process the sight of Jack Merridew selflessly caring for someone other than himself.

It didn't take long for Piggy to decide that it wasn't actually that strange; Jack and Ralph. He came to that conclusion after the first couple days on the island, watching the way Ralph moved, lead, spoke, and behaved. Ralph Langley was a good colonel, Piggy never doubted that. What he didn't realize back at the academy was that Ralph wasn't only a good leader, but a good person. It was no wonder Jack cared for him, it would've been hard not to. Ralph treated everyone like they were equals, in an undeniable, loving way Piggy hadn't believed boys to be capable of. Piggy didn't grow up in a world where twelve-year-old boys were kindhearted and accepting of one another. Ralph was the first kid in Piggy's life who made him feel like he mattered, like he had something to contribute, like he was as much of a person as the rest of them. Ralph Langley was as rare as gold, a diamond among dozens and dozens of stones. Even someone like Jack would struggle not to love a boy like Ralph, Piggy concluded.

Piggy attached to Ralph because he provided him with a level of security Piggy never dared to dream of. Ralph was perfectly fine ripping into Jack and the other boys for picking on him. Ralph didn't care about what it meant for his social status to stand up for an outcast. What Piggy found especially amusing about it was that Ralph was one of the only boys Jack seemed to take a liking to, to show any level of respect. And yet, the brunette stuck up for Piggy against Jack. Time and time again.

Piggy often froze in the face of boys like Jack Merridew and Roger Conroy. When Jack would shove him, double down on the same weight-based nickname, scream or single him out, Piggy couldn't find the words to even try and fight back. He was stunned to silence, too intimidated and afraid of what could happen next if he stood up for himself. If it wasn't for Ralph, the island would've been no different than both schools Piggy attended. If it wasn't for Ralph, Piggy wasn't sure he would be able to survive out here with Jack and Roger and the others long enough to get rescued.

Piggy and Ralph's friendship was a product of Ralph's good heart, and Piggy's attachment to it. Ralph was the only boy on the island with the heart to look out for him, and the guts to put Jack in his place. Piggy thought back to Jamie, his old roommate back at the academy, and how he once believed that Jamie was a good friend, like Ralph. Piggy questioned the possibility that Ralph might be nice on the surface but talking cruelly about him behind his back to Jack and the others. But for some reason, Piggy doubted it. Either that, or he just didn't want to believe it was possible.

Piggy continued to stick close to Ralph. Not just because he was his only friend, but because his presence was a shield from the cruel taunts and tricks Jack, Roger, and Rapper would surely inflict on him in Ralph's absence.

Piggy had a front row seat and a backstage pass to Ralph's deteriorating mood and tolerance as Jack led a good chunk of the other boys to misconduct. Ralph was aware of Jack's less than stellar record of bad behavior back at the academy because the entire school was aware, but Piggy could tell that Ralph was expecting better under the circumstances. The plane crash and the island were serious business, about as serious as it could get. Ralph was hopeful and would usually give people the benefit of the doubt. Even Jack's record hadn't removed him from that roster. That was, until Ralph was fed up enough to call an assembly over it.

The more Ralph pushed, the more Jack's choir boys pushed back. Only a couple weeks passed since the plane crash and the others were already losing respect for civilization, and for Ralph. Piggy could see how pained Ralph was over it, how worried it made him for the future. Piggy tried his darnest to assure his new friend that they'd all eventually come to their senses and realize what's important, but he could tell that Ralph wasn't convinced. Perhaps, he couldn't convince Ralph because he couldn't really convince himself of that either.

And surely, the others' attitudes grew more ignorant and dismissive. Piggy stuck by Ralph as they, Simon, and another two thirds of the boys watched Jack and those who followed his lead continue down a path that led nowhere good. Ralph continued to try and talk sense into them during assemblies over and over again, each less impactful and successful than the last. Piggy was impressed by Ralph's persistence, his unwillingness to give up in spite of how difficult being the voice of reason was. It was a burden Ralph beared so the rest of the good-hearted wouldn't have to. Piggy didn't know that he wouldn't get the chance to thank Ralph for that.

Though Piggy was quiet in the face of confrontation, that didn't mean he wasn't strongly opinionated. He could think of a thing or two he wanted to say to Jack Merridew, and a place or two he'd like to punch the arrogant boy. But Piggy hardly ever said any of it, even when the opportunity presented itself. His mother, bless her heart, had ingrained the value of peace and humanity in him. Violence was never the answer, and any problem that could be solved through aggression could better be solved through open dialogue. Piggy would say his piece when he felt he had the words to make things better, but when a problem seemed beyond a solution, he simply stepped aside out of a desire to not participate in meaningless chaos.

This is what drove Piggy in the face of Jack, of Roger, and of the other boys like them. Whenever Jack would push him, Piggy never tried to push back. He knew that Jack Merridew was beyond help, that he wasn't someone worth fighting with. Jack would only push back harder if Piggy were to defend himself. What would the point be in that? The only thing that would happen is that someone would get hurt, and it wouldn't be Jack.

What was hard for Piggy was to sit back and watch as Ralph took the brunt of Jack's shit. It was one thing after another with him, and it was usually Ralph who was forced to stand up to Jack. He was the only one willing to do it, and Piggy both respected and appreciated him for it. Without Ralph, things would've fallen apart much sooner. But fall apart, they still most certainly did.

When the camp officially split into two after what felt like weeks of escalating tension, the choice Piggy made was an obvious one, one that needed no consideration. Ralph wasn't only in the right, but he was the only boy in the world who made Piggy feel like he was someone worth fighting for. The very least he could do is stand by Ralph's side as the other's friendship with Jack came crumbling down.

Piggy was an overly emotional person, much like Ralph, but even more intense. He was used to being pushed around and called names by boys like Jack all his life. He could take it without crying now, but when the hunters broke his glasses, it felt like his world was shattered with the glass. Piggy was quick to react, and would breakdown before fully grasping the actual gravity of the situation. Usually, he was overreacting. But that, Piggy never realized until after he was done crying, if he realized it at all. And this thing with the broken glasses was no different.

The hunters became more and more ruthless, and Ralph became more and more frustrated. Piggy didn't understand why Ralph cared so much now that they weren't working together anymore. They could simply do their best to ignore Jack and the hunters, to keep to their separate ends. But Piggy sat and listened to Ralph endlessly while the brunette boy rambled and ranted about Jack and his decisions, and the others for following him. Ralph seemed to be more interested in scolding Jack's behavior than he was in talking about anything else. Well, other than the fire watch and survival and rescue, of course. Piggy found the way Ralph hyperfocused on Jack to be rather annoying, but he was too nice and too anxious to tell him that.

The day the twins became some of the last few boys to switch over to Jack's camp, Piggy could tell that his friend was close to abandoning all hope. Ralph was growing more distressed and frustrated with each passing hour, it seeemd. The way he of spoke of Jack and most of the others now was increasing in hate and anger. Ralph resented them for leaving him, for abandoning everything they were taught for a measly moment of fun and freedom. It was ridiculous, it was wrong, it was downright insane. When Ralph pointed that out, Piggy couldn't disagree. The others were becoming insane, if they weren't already. It was hard to watch, and even harder to watch Ralph's mental health deteriorate as a result.

Hours after the twins traded sides, Simon was killed. Piggy had never witnessed death before, had never even been in a room with a dead body, not even at a funeral. The only form of death he ever encountered occurred on a TV screen, a fictional portrayal of the tragedy with actors and actresses everyone knew were safe and sound behind the scenes. Simon's very real death was different from anything Piggy saw on TV. It felt very different too. Somehow, it felt less real, even though the very opposite was true. Piggy was never expecting to see someone die before he turned thirteen, let alone be murdered in cold blood.

Surprisingly, Ralph was a much bigger mess over Simon's death than Piggy was. The way Piggy saw it, there wasn't anything that could've been done to stop it. The only thing that could've stopped it was something that occurred a long time ago; the others' transformation to savagery. Preventing that was the only way to prevent Simon's death, and Piggy knew that the cause was lost long before that night. Ralph on the other hand, was stuck in self-blame. He blamed the senseless tragedy on his own inaction. What could he have possibly done to stop it? Clearly, Ralph thought there was something. But Piggy knew better. It wasn't that Piggy wasn't traumatized by the boy's death, because he was. He hardly knew Simon Bennett at all, just that he was good at heart and was probably the last person on this island that deserved to die so violently. But Piggy lost enough people in his life to know that dwelling on the matter wouldn't change what happened. He lost kids he thought were his friends, stand-in fathers who promised to always love his mother, and to stay. No amount of tears and sadness would ever bring them back. No amount of blaming himself or anyone else would bring them back either. Though, Piggy could tell that Ralph wasn't ready to hear that just yet.

Piggy was surprised that Ralph hadn't lost his mind too at this point. He had no idea how long they'd been on the island, but it was a long time, Piggy knew. It was impressive that after everything that's happened, Ralph was able to find it in his heart to keep his head up and stay on the side of morality. Piggy himself was beginning to feel like giving up, like surrendering to Jack and the others would warrant the best possible outcome for them. But Ralph continued to refuse, unwilling to trade in what was right for what was easy.

It wasn't long after Simon's death when the last remaining boys made what felt like the inevitable decision to move into Jack's camp of barbarians. For the bulk of the few weeks that followed Simon's death, it was just Ralph and Piggy. They considered what their options were at this point. They could build a raft and sail away, Piggy considered. But that was more likely to end badly than staying here with the others would. Piggy was tired, and he could tell that Ralph was too. There were a few storms that followed Simon's death, and each one seemed to hit them harder than the last. It was painfully difficult to manage the damage from the storms, the fire watch, the spearfishing and fruit scavenging, when their numbers were ten times lower than they were when they first arrived on the island. From twenty-four down to two, it was hard to manage any one thing, let alone everything. Piggy and Ralph both underestimated how much harder everything was without the others, even considering the trouble they caused.

The night the hunters invaded their camp and stole Piggy's glasses, he was sure that it was just about as much as he could take. He didn't realize just how traumatic this whole situation really was, being in the midst of it and all. It wasn't until his glasses were gone and everything was blurrier than a foggy bathroom mirror that Piggy realized just how messed up and twisted this whole thing really was. He wore glasses for as long as he could remember. He never went without them before. Even though he didn't really remember it, he uncovered his ears just long enough to tuck his glasses away in the inside pocket of his jacket during the plane crash. Piggy never had to do life without them before. He quite literally didn't know how to function without them, which led him to say things like that they should just join Jack's camp for the inclusion and community. Of course, Ralph still refused. But what the former leader did agree to after Piggy senselessly begged him was to go over and try and talk sense into the others, or at the very least convince them to give Piggy's glasses back. Piggy wouldn't have pushed Ralph so hard on it if he had a clue how to get by without his glasses. But he didn't, and he knew that Ralph would do whatever he could to help him, because he always did.

It had been about a month since Simon died, but the boys didn't know that on either end of the island. Less than twenty-four hours after the attack on their camp in the night, Piggy and Ralph bravely trekked down to Jack's camp. They decided to bring the conch, thinking that even if it didn't work, it certainly couldn't make things worse. There were only two of them, and twenty of the others. They had to use every advantage they had if they had any chance at making a difference here.

Piggy didn't know that Ralph was so reluctant about this on the inside. Piggy was so hyperfocused on the fact that he couldn't see, it made him desperate enough to do whatever it'd take to get his glasses back. Suddenly, them being broken wasn't such a big deal. He took advantage of being able to see at all, he soon thought. But Ralph was feeling less sure of their plan to talk to the others. He spent god only knows how long trying and trying to get through to Jack, and to the others. His attempts did nothing, made no difference at all. Things were so much worse now. The others were so far gone, and not just Jack and Roger anymore. If their voice of reason didn't work before everything fell apart, what made them think it would work now? This is what was going through Ralph's head as they approached Jack's camp. But all Piggy could think about was that he couldn't see, and what would happen if he could never see again. It clouded his judgement, made him sloppy and forgetful of the potential danger of their mission.

Of course, it took what felt like a mere half second for Jack and Ralph to start brawling on the ground like wild dogs. The others weren't willing to hear a word Ralph and Piggy had to say, and whatever value the conch once held was gone now. Piggy watched as Jack and Ralph beat on each other, but doing no real damage at all. It wasn't unlike them to wound up like this in their recent encounters. It was less frequent that they were bumping into each other during the day now, but ever since the separation, their physical fights became a staple of their damaged relationship.

Along with the twins, Piggy was one of the only boys not encouraging the fight. He watched Jack and Ralph pound on each other mercilessly. Sam and Eric had the same blank expressions on their faces that Piggy had on his. They all were so used to watching the two fight. It was beyond them why Jack and Ralph couldn't just stay the hell off each other, because it never ended well when they didn't.

It worked once before, and even though it lost all power, Piggy thought blowing the conch might at least break up the fight. Luckily and surprisingly, it did. At the very least, it startled Jack and Ralph enough to separate them for five goddamn seconds. Piggy was surprised when Jack shoved past him to rejoin his tribe members on the rock wall, leaving Ralph alone on the ground. What didn't surprise him was that Roger started throwing rocks down at him from the top of the wall, as soon as Piggy started to speak. Piggy was used to having objects hurled at his head; food in the cafeteria, rocks on the playground, pencils and spit balls in class. It was nothing new to him, so much so that he barely even flinched as the rocks landed close by him.

As usual, Ralph stepped in and called out to stupid Roger to knock it off. Still, even after everything, Ralph was the only person who valued anything Piggy had to say. But Piggy was still intent on getting the others to listen, to respect him the way he never believed he deserved to be respected.

Piggy was sure that they were all beyond reason at this point, but that never stopped him from trying. And it wasn't about to stop him now. Piggy hoped that perhaps, just one of them would hear him, just one of them would realize that this wasn't a long term solution. He wanted his glasses back, and that wasn't attainable without getting at least one of those savage hunters to listen. Piggy wasn't sure exactly who he was talking to, just that trying to be heard was really the only option left. He was shit out of luck, and reasoning with the hunters was a last ditch to effort to make things better. The others didn't seem to grasp the fact that the island wouldn't be this fun place forever. Eventually, they'd get older and the island would too. Eventually, they'd realize that they weren't really living, they were just surviving. Eventually, that adrenaline rush they got from hunting and killing would die with the pigs. And then what? What would they have left? It will be them, the island, and the painful realization that there is nothing more to life than this.

At first, they wouldn't even shut up long enough to hear what Piggy was saying. And while some of them grew quiet when he pointed out that this might be all that's left of their lives, others had a different idea for the future. Or, the immediate one anyway. And in this case, 'others' referred only to Roger Conroy. Piggy didn't see Roger, nor did he see the bolder the size of Texas. Piggy continued to speak, on the sliver of hope that even one person was really listening to him. In the course of a few split seconds, he was startled by Ralph's sudden scream behind him. Piggy didn't have time to react. He had no idea what was going on, why Ralph was the only one he could hear, why some of the eyes of the boys on the standing along the rock wall suddenly widened with shock? Fear? Horror, maybe even? All in the course of half a second, at most.

But Piggy didn't live long enough to find out. Before he had a slight clue what on earth was going on around him, he was gone. Unlike Simon's death, Piggy's wasn't slow or painful. He didn't experience the slow blackout, it just happened. It was over as quickly as it started. And all that was left behind was a world Piggy was no longer apart of, a world that lost him just when it had never needed him more.

________________________________________

Piggy's family was contacted with the same treacherous news as Simon's was the morning the remaining twenty-two boys were rescued. But the confirming call didn't come until after they arrived at the airport in Virginia. Cynthia Kingston first received a phone call from another parent at the academy claiming that the boys were found and were being transported to the airport. It was before the official roll call was submitted, before the confirmation of deaths were sent out to parents.

Cynthia always worried about her son. He never fit in anywhere, and always struggled to make friends. She worried about him out there in the world, but she never doubted his strength. He was a good kid with a heart of gold that would've carried him through life if he had only made it that far.

Cynthia nearly collapsed to the airport floor when she gave the military officer her son's name and received the news that he was named as one of the deceased. Whether he died on the island or the plane was besides the point. Because dead was dead, and the entire group of parents that were gathered in the wing of the airport knew it too. They all turned to watch in pitiful silence as Cynthia burst into a fit of regretful tears. Her husband caught her before her knees hit the ground, but her cries were loud enough to bounce off the high ceiling and echo painfully through the entire west wing. Cynthia could sense that other parents were feeling sorry for them, but were also incredibly relieved that it was her child and not theirs who was dead.

It was a relief that Robert was able to stay composed, because Cynthia certainly couldn't. Just as they were about to leave, a young boy in the search and rescue attire approached Robert and Cynthia in the airport. He looked like the rest of the boys filing into the room, running tearfully at their parents. The search and rescue clothes were too big for the brunette boy standing in front of them, and he looked like he hadn't showered in well, five months. His hair was greasier than oil itself, and like the other boys, sand fell off him everytime he moved. The boy introduced himself as Ralph Langley, and claimed that he was friends with their son while they were out on the island. The couple didn't know how he could've possibly known who they were, given that he didn't know them or even Piggy before all this. But still, he knew somehow, and he spoke from his heart of gold when he insisted that he cared a great deal about Piggy. Cynthia realized that he probably knew everything; every horrific detail about their son's death. She needed to know too, even though she didn't necessarily want to know. She wasn't above begging a twelve-year-old to cough up the answers even considering what the boy was going through, but Robert quickly stopped her from trying to thoughtlessly bleed the boy's mind dry.

Robert gave Ralph his card before sending him back to his family, wherever in this airport they surely were. Cynthia wasn't ready to accept that she just might not get the answers she needed about her son and what happened to him. At least, not yet.

Piggy's funeral was held at the academy. Cynthia knew he would've wanted it that way, and Robert's role as a former major in the military made the expense of the funeral practically nothing. It was a beautiful service, and Cynthia couldn't help but wonder if the boy, Ralph, from the airport, would want to come. But he didn't call, and the funeral was private so there was no announcement made to anyone who didn't receive an invitation. She thought about Ralph for a few months after the rescue, wondered how he was doing, if he was recovering alright, if he missed Piggy as much as she did.

Cynthia and Robert pushed through the next couple years of their lives without their son, with an aching empty hole inside their hearts. Just over two years after the plane crash, news of the upcoming trial finally hit the media. At first, Cynthia wasn't sure what to make of it. She knew before reading up on it that her son's death was among the three that the surviving boys would be tried for in the coming months. But after spending days thinking of nothing else, Cynthia made a decision. For the first time since her son died, she was absolutely positively sure of something; she would be in the front row at that trial from the very first day to the very last.

็ปง็ปญ้˜…่ฏป

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