Devin's POV
I sighed seeing Lauren walk pass me, we haven't spoken words about anything besides the kids in the last week and a half. She's been avoiding it telling me she needed time to think about what's going on but honestly, I am not feeling this.
Not speaking to my wife is hard and I hate to do it. Who likes to not speak to their wife? I want to hold her and kiss her and this punishment sucks. Especially because she won't give me the time of day to explain stuff to
Her.
"Baby." I said trying to catch ahold of my wife's arm.
I have been trying to get her attention by annoying her all day.
"No Devin. No!" She said screaming at me. "You have been super secretive and now you're telling me you don't want anymore children! How do you think I feel hmm? My husband is telling me he wants no more children after we had one child."
Thank goodness the kids are gone to their grandmas for the week because if not, this yelling wouldn't be okay at all.
"Sweetheart we have three children why do we need more?" I asked her.
"Because I never agreed to that! You never said that you didn't want any more kids. You didn't tell me about your ex or anything. You keep secrets and I keep none. As a matter of fact, I don't have a life outside of you and our children! You do."
"Lauren calm down baby. Please. Let me talk."
"I came from a huge family I've always wanted to have a big house and a lot of kids and I am an willing and able woman. I always said that I wanted to have children, multiple. Do you think that I would have married you if you told me that you wanted only one child?" She asked me and I was stunned.
Before I could fully process what she said to me she left out the front door and I sighed banging my head on the head board.
All of what she felt I can admit was on account of me. Tristian was someone I dated before Lauren. She broke me. She was the woman who I thought was in love with at first when I came here to Texas and she was a woman that kept a lot of male company and without my knowing.
The first night I noticed her having the attention of a lot of men was when I was staying with a friend when he told me his girl would be coming by, and Tristan was that girl. I had told her I loved her and at one point, and that I felt betrayed. I didn't leave her though she told me she loved me and at that time I was emotionally connected to her, and was afraid of losing anything.
My last straw with her was when she came home one afternoon and slept almost the whole night and next morning. A pharmacy called and said her medicine was ready. Medicine she used to help her heal from an abortion. When I confronted her about it, she said that I shouldn't be worried because more than likely it wasn't mine.
As a real young dude, I asked her about all the love stuff, trying to figure out if it mattered and she laughed at me. She had everyone thinking I was a fool a damn dummy. My boys made fun of me, and people in my practice had no respect for me, Te experience with her taught me that what I thought was love wasn't and that in fact it wasn't real. We worked together, I with a lower rank than her had to keep it professional because I knew I worked my ass off to work for such a firm as I do.
That experience turned me cold and I went back to my insecure young boy ways. My friends told me she was a toxic drug, keeping me away from finding my true happiness. Her and I both got promotions for the same position when I was going to Atlanta. That's where she resides now and even the day we flew out we kept it professional, my heart and mind was somewhere else on finding and fighting for my joy.
When I learned to love Amore, I in turn learned to love myself. The person I am and the man that I have molded into. I always had it in me to love people and it was just a matter of caring and loving myself. I always seemed so put together but in all actuality I wasn't and still I'm not. Parts of me are afraid, and as a grown man its weird but it's who I am and that, I am not ashamed of.
I've got to somehow be more open with my wife. It's hard for me, I've never seen men be emotional and fully show how they feel to their wives or anyone else. As a southern man, you're raised to suck it up and for long I've been doing that. I have to begin hearing and listening to what my wife wants and that, is to express how I feel completely to her.
Lauren's POV
I left the house more than pissed and I went to the one person I know could help me. My father. My father is one of the most important men in my life and I asked him to sneak away and bring Devin with him so we could talk. This week I am supposed to just relax, before I go back to work and before Devin and I's trip.
"Hey daddy." I said meeting him at my mommy'a restaurant.
"Hey baby girl." He said as I reached to hug him.
I hugged my daddy and he gave me a bug hug holding me tightly. It felt like he knew exactly how I felt and exactly how to make me feel better. I couldn't help but to cry.
I cried because I am so angry and frustrated and confused. This whole situation just hurts my soul and I need to get it together. I just had a baby almost a year ago, and now my husband is telling me he wants no more. How am I supposed to feel about that when we had countless conversations about the whole situation.
"Have a seat baby." My daddy told me and I grabbed Little Devin and sat down. It felt so good to have my baby boy in my arms again. I missed him so much and by his baby blabbering and smile on his face, I could tell he missed mama too.
"What's going on Joy?" My daddy asked after I played with Devin for a few minutes.
"Daddy I feel overwhelmed. " I sighed.
"By what baby girl?" He asked.
"Devin. We were about to get intimate and we sort of fell into the fact that he doesn't want anymore children." I said and he nodded.
"How do you feel about that lau?"
"I'm angry daddy because we talked about it, a lot. I was supposed to name my next child after you daddy and now because of my husband I won't be having anymore."
"Is that all?" He asked.
"No." I said and sighed. "It's a woman daddy."
"A woman? Who?" He asked.
"Some woman who apparently Devin was so in love with, he didn't tell me l, the mother of his child, the woman who's supposed to be his life partner." I said.
"Maybe she doesn't mean much to him. Maybe he doesn't want to look at the past. Has he ever asked about your ex's?" He asked.
"No but daddy-"
"No but daddy nothing. You and Devin need to talk it out. Lauren you are married now, when things get tough or you get upset walking away is no longer the issue. If this is the man you want to spend forever with, you're gonna have to talk to him. Communicate and hear him out. Stop jumping to conclusions and thinking that everyone is gonna hurt you. Marriage is not easy and it's harder when you have jobs and responsibilities." He told me and I nodded.
"Yes sir." I said.
"Good girl. He said and kissed my forehead. "Princess I love you, and he looks at you the same way I looked and look at your mother so I know he's not trying to hurt you. He is not perfect by far baby and you have got to understand that. Talk to the man, and you'll see." He told me and I nodded.
"Thank you daddy." I said as I stood up and hugged him.
"Oh you're welcome sweetheart. Go home and fix this stuff baby girl." He told me and I nodded.
"Okay daddy. Take care of my girls and my son." I said kissing his cheeks up.
I miss my chunky little baby boy and my two girls! This rest of the week will be so hard without them.
After spending a little bit more time with my father and son and running a few errands I decided to go home only for Devin not to be here.
I sighed and decided to shower and then take a nap. Tonight will be the night that we figure all of this craziness out. This is not the way our kids need to live and it won't be this way.
A/N
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