When Gracie arrived, her siblings gathered by the front door to welcome her home. They'd strung balloons from the ceiling and popped party poppers as she walked through the front door. They must have had a secret closet full of party supplies somewhere, it seemed they were always prepared to celebrate.
The sudden noise from the party poppers made Gracie jump, but she was grateful that her family had wanted to commemorate her small achievement of not dying.
"Are you okay, sweetie?" Lilah put her arm around her daughter, "Come on let's get you into bed."
Her family were so attentive to her while she was recovering. Maia was especially helpful, constantly bringing her water and asking if she needed anything. What happened to Gracie had affected her, and she was doing everything she could to make sure her sister was okay.
After a rough first week of recovery, her wound was finally healing and she was getting her strength back day by day. The bruising on her back had slowly faded, her black eye was now just slightly yellow and the swelling had gone down completely.
The same couldn't be said for her mind. She had nightmares every night and it always started the same. It was the dream that she had just after it happened; her biggest fears and the worst moments of her life repeating in a relentless cycle of torment. Somewhere along the way the dream merged with her old recurring nightmares about John.
She was learning to be more honest though, she had counseling sessions over the phone and she didn't hold anything back about Amber and John and all of her nightmares. She told her counselor about how she could see them both standing over her every time she closed her eyes. It helped to talk about it, but there wasn't much anyone could do to help Gracie other than encourage her to open up and listen when needed.
The meeting with the judge had been postponed due to the events of last week, but now that she was on the mend, it had been rescheduled to Wednesday morning. Janice had been over to the house a few times, she didn't usually work in family court, but Stella and Lilah trusted her and so did Gracie. It wasn't the same as preparing for the trial, they just had to find a rock-solid reason for Gracie to stay with the Tuckers. Fortunately, Gracie didn't need to be involved in every meeting, so she wasn't constantly dwelling on it.
With all of the drama about injury and her birth father, Gracie was relieved to have Rachel was back in her life again. Not only did she feel more like herself with Rachel back on her side, but she had someone to talk to when she needed a distraction.
When she was finally recovered enough, Stella and Lilah allowed her to go out. Gracie told them she was going out with Elle.
She walked around the corner from her house to where Rachel was in her car waiting for Gracie. She wanted to tell Rachel about everything that was happening with Greg, but that might make her girlfriend think that they would be forced apart. The risk of losing her again was too great, so she kept the details to a minimum and followed Rachel's lead when she quickly changed the subject.
Rachel drove them to an old movie theater on the other side of town, far enough away that they wouldn't run into anyone they knew. They booked tickets to some foreign-language movie and sat in the back row, but it wouldn't have mattered where they sat because they had the whole theater to themselves.
"We should go to college together," Gracie didn't bother whispering, "We could be roommates again, all that space to ourselves." She pictured herself two years in the future. Older, wiser, happier.
"And when we graduate and get jobs, we'll get a real house, we can decorate it however we want," Rachel cuddled Gracie and kissed her cheek.
Gracie giggled as her girlfriend's lips tickled her skin, "We could live in a beaten-up trailer with holes in the roof, as long as we're together, I'm happy."
They spent the rest of the movie kissing, grateful for a few hours alone together. It had been difficult being apart for the past few weeks and they were both soaking up every last second with each other.
On Tuesday, Sarah picked Gracie up and drove to the marina where they'd be meeting her parents for a day on their yacht. They'd been meaning to go for a while now, but something always got in the way of their plans. On one of the hottest days of the year, their schedules finally lined up.
Gracie thought she'd gotten used to how wealthy her best friend was, but she was amazed when she saw the size of the boat, "Jesus Sarah, this is insane," she said as the girls settled into the sun loungers on the upper deck.
"I know right, it just sucks I won't get to use it when I go away to East Bridge in the fall, but you can't have it all."
She did, in fact, have it all. Or at least a lot more than most. Gracie laughed it off, knowing her best friend wasn't as shallow as she often sounded.
"So, how are you?" Sarah asked, taking her sunglasses off and sitting on the edge of her seat, "I mean, really?" They hadn't had a chance to properly catch up since Gracie got out of the hospital, so Sarah didn't know many of the details of what happened.
"I'm okay, I mean, I'm still scared," Gracie admitted, and a weight rose from her shoulders, she'd been keeping a brave face around her family. "Like all the time." Sarah hugged Gracie. "I've been writing about it in my journal, and going to therapy, but I don't know. I've been so jumpy; the other day, I was in my room and I didn't hear Danny come in, he tapped on my shoulder and freaked out so bad that I almost punched him. Everything makes me flinch. And I'm having more panic attacks than ever. I know these things take time, but I'm just starting to think I'll never get through this."
"You will," Sarah squeezed Gracie's hands, "You always do."
"But what if this time it's different? What if I can't?"
"Think about it G, every time life deals you a bad hand, you get through it and you come out the other side stronger. Strong enough to handle whatever the hell the next thing is, it's just gonna take some time. What does your therapist say?"
"She said that after getting... after everything, it's a normal reaction."
"But nothing feels normal?" Sarah said, somehow knowing what Gracie was thinking.
"Exactly," Gracie sighed, "Except for one thing," a smile crept up on her and She prepared to tell Sarah about her girlfriend, "Rachel called, after what happened. We're back together."
"Oh," she didn't seem as happy as Gracie hoped she would, "That's great," she went on saying all the right things, but Gracie knew she wasn't too excited about it.
"So, I thought the three of us could all hang out, maybe a day at the beach?"
"Yeah, sure, that'll be fun," Sarah did her best to act happy, but Gracie still didn't buy it.
Gracie woke up early on Wednesday morning for the meeting with Greg and the judge while her brothers and sisters got to sleep in again. It was the day that they'd get a date for the custody hearing. She'd barely slept, the nightmares kept waking her up.
"Is this okay?" She asked as she showed her outfit to her mothers, remembering what Marco said about having to look smart for his and Maia's adoption. He said they had to look like they were being well taken care of, and Gracie wanted to make sure both Greg and the judge could see that she was already exactly where she belonged.
"It's great, love," Lilah said, "You look beautiful."
Gracie sat down at the table and poured herself a glass of water, her stomach was in knots, there was no way she would be able to keep down her breakfast, so she opted against it.
Stella sat down next to Gracie, "How are you feeling?" She placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder and Gracie flinched.
Gracie took a breath, embarrassed, "Sorry. I'm fine, I just want to get this over with."
Greg sat across from Gracie and her moms in the hallway as they waited for the judge to be ready for them. He looked sort of sad but still had a poise and determination in his eyes. He shifted forward in his seat, "How are you? After everything?" He asked in a sincere voice, but all Gracie heard was his audacity. It was his fault she was sent to that so-called home in the first place.
"Oh, you mean after you forced me to spend three nights in a group home where I got stabbed?" It was the first time she'd said what happened to her out loud, "Yeah, I'm great."
"Gracie, not now," Lilah said, grabbing her daughter's balled-up fist, "Breathe, love."
Gracie drew her eyes away from the man in front of her and looked at Lilah, following her lead as they breathed in and out slowly together.
"It's probably best not to engage before we talk to the judge," Greg's lawyer advised his client.
"Judge Casey will see you," the bailiff invited the two parties into a small office.
The judge sat at an oversized desk peering through his glasses at the file in front of him. On a built-in bookcase behind him, he had photos of him and his family displayed. Gracie looked down at his desk again, staring at the pages, wondering how her life could be boiled down to a stack of papers, and how this stranger had the power to decide where she should live based on that. Her brain raced with thoughts of being ripped away from her family again.
"Gracie's been in foster care since she was seven years old, suffered relentless bullying, abuse, and neglect. The fact of the matter is if it weren't for the Tuckers, Gracie would have ended up as another statistic," Janice said, "She's been living with them for months now and has been making great strides. She's doing well in school, has a solid group of friends, and has strong bonds with her foster family. Removing her from the home for those three days proved to be detrimental not only to her physical health but to her mental health too, and taking her away again now is only going to set her back further. Stella and Lilah have been incredible parents, they see Gracie as their daughter."
Gracie felt hopeful listening to Janice, how could anyone take her away from them after hearing that?
"And my client is grateful for the Tuckers, but with due respect, he wasn't aware of Gracie's existence. Had he known about his biological daughter he would have raised her alongside his son where she would never have experienced the trauma she's faced. He's ready to take the reins now," Greg's lawyer seemed to have a rebuttal to everything Janice said.
Judge Casey rubbed his wrinkled forehead and slid his glasses to the tip of his nose, "Both sides make a compelling argument, but I'd like to hear from Gracie herself," he looked right at her, "Where do you want to live?"
It couldn't be that simple, Gracie's desires had never mattered when it came to where she wanted to live. She's spent the last seven years being shipped from house to house with no concern for her feelings.
Caught off guard, she stuttered, "Uh, well Stella and Lilah are my parents, the Tuckers are my family. I belong with them."
"And you have no desire to have a relationship with your birth father?" Gracie was surprised by the judge's censorious tone.
"No, I don't," she looked at Greg, he wore a solemn look on his face, similar to how he looked when she had yelled at him at his house, and she felt bad for him, especially because there was still something so familiar about him.
Greg hung his head, and Gracie felt guilty for hurting him, even after everything. She wasn't completely opposed to getting to him, as long as he could put his homophobia aside and he didn't try to force her to live with him.
"At least, not like this," she added, hoping she wouldn't regret it.
"Well, I usually rule in favor of whatever the child in question wants," Gracie didn't get her hopes up yet, "But, in this case, I think Mr. Yates deserves a chance to prove himself, so for now Gracie will remain in the Tucker household, but I want her to spend one evening a week with Greg."
"What about my son?" Greg asked, "He's fourteen years old, I think he should know his big sister."
Gracie didn't want to have to spend even a second of time with Greg, but she didn't want her brother to think she wanted nothing to do with him, "I'll see them both," she said.
"Alright, you'll spend every Saturday with Mr. Yates and his son," the judge said, "So, let's reconvene for the custody hearing," he glanced down at his calendar, "My next opening is August 13th."
August 13th was the date that Gracie was supposed to be getting adopted, so now if the judge awarded custody to Stella and Lilah, Gracie would still have a while to wait before becoming an official member of their family, which meant there was more time for something else to go horribly wrong.
If things went her way, and it was a big if, they'd likely have to push the adoption until after the family camping trip, which meant that she'd also have to wait even longer to tell her moms about Rachel. She still hated that she was keeping secrets, especially after what happened with Amber. If she had been honest about the history she shared with her roommate when she first arrived at the group home, maybe she could have been moved somewhere else and would never have ended up with a knife to the gut. But this was different, things with Rachel weren't going to end badly. As far as Gracie was concerned they weren't going to end at all.
By the time they got home from the courthouse Gracie was so exhausted that all she wanted to take a nap, but Stella and Lilah wanted to talk to her about something. They sat her down in the living room, with concerned looks on their faces.
"Am I in trouble?" Gracie asked.
"No, baby girl," Lilah said, "We're just worried."
"Well yeah, me too, but it's gonna be okay, right? You're not gonna let him take me away?" Gracie asked, wondering if all of this was too big of a battle for them. 'They're finally giving up on me. And I don't blame them.'
"No, of course not, that's not what we're worried about," Stella said, "Gracie," she came and sat beside Gracie, taking her hands, "You've been through something awful, and I know that you're strong and resilient and incredibly brave, and you've been talking with your counselor right? And using your therapy journal?"
Gracie nodded, "Yeah and it's been helpful, I'm fine."
"You're not fine, you're holding something back, love just let us help you."
Gracie's heart stopped, she'd always been so good at lying, she didn't know how they'd managed to see right through her, "Well, I- I'm not," she stuttered, knowing she'd have to convince them that they knew everything. "I've just been nervous, about my exams, and Greg and everything."
"Gracie," Lilah persisted, "You can talk to us."
The only way she was going to be able to keep her relationship a secret was if she came up with another lie, "Fine," she said, but she had no idea what she was going to say. "I didn't want to say anything about it because I didn't want you guys to be upset, or disappointed," she started, "But I... Um, I sort of relapsed." It was the first thing she could think of and by some miracle it was true. "It was just once after I saw my birth mom, but I stopped myself."
"Love, why didn't you come to us?" Stella asked tearfully.
"It wasn't a big deal, it was the first time I'd done it for ages." That part was a lie, but she didn't want to talk about this with her moms. "And it was the last time, I swear." Gracie was defending herself as if her parents were angry at her. "Look, it's been a long day," she stood up, "Can I just go to my room please?"
Stella and Lilah looked at each other like they always did, and they seemed fairly satisfied with her explanation. "Sure, love," Lilah said.