The first night in the new group home was sleepless for Gracie, she was constantly in fear that if she breathed the wrong way, Amber would snap. Her new/old roommate fell asleep quickly, but she tossed and turned all night. Every rustle of the bed sheets or squeak of the springs made Gracie flinch. She had felt sick to her stomach since the second she arrived.
Amongst all of her anxiety, she tried to remain hopeful. All she had to do was get through today, it wouldn't be easy, but at least tomorrow she would see her mothers again. It was just a shame she also had to see her homophobic birth father, she had already decided that she could never give him a chance after putting her through this.
In the morning, Linda bashed on all of the bedroom doors after unlocking them, "Breakfast in fifteen minutes," she called out.
A disgruntled Amber sat up and groaned before she got out of bed, Gracie avoided eye contact as she left the room. Finally, she had a moment alone. She had no control over the tears that started streaming from her eyes, but she held her breath so she didn't make a noise, knowing that Amber could come back any second. She gave herself a moment to gather herself, and once the tears had stopped, she got dressed and went downstairs.
Breakfast was the only meal that the girls didn't have to make themselves, but it meant that all that there was to eat was a bowl of stale, flavorless cereal that was hard to chew and a glass of lukewarm water to wash it down. She hadn't realized how spoiled she'd been at the Tucker's, every morning Stella and Lilah would lay out a spread, eggs, bacon, toasted bagels, the whole nine yards. Sometimes on the weekends they'd make waffles or pancakes too and spend the morning at the table as a family. Every meal was always so filling that she'd forgotten what it was like to go hungry for days at a time. It wasn't like she was being starved again, it just made her miss her family even more. She wondered if they missed her just as much, or if they were getting on with their lives without her.
With it being Gracie's first day, she was allowed a few hours to herself to unpack her things and get settled in. Of course, she was locked in her room for this. She didn't bother unpacking, her mothers would be coming to get her tomorrow, so she sat on her bed and opened up her therapy journal.
She spun her pen around her fingers mindlessly, the blank page in front of her was supposed to be a place for her to unload her feelings, but she was unable to put her thoughts into words.
Instead, Gracie started flipping through the pages that were filled from top to bottom with messy scribbles of her intrusive thoughts, entries dating back to her first few weeks with the Tuckers. The pen marks were darker in some places, with a deep indentation beneath them, like she'd been writing with a weight on her wrist.
That afternoon, Gracie was in the schoolroom trying to study. She'd brought some of her school books from home, hoping she would be back in time for exams. But she could only think of her family. Right about now, the Tuckers would be getting home from school and work and getting ready for dinner. She imagined them all sitting around the table talking about their day, she longed to be back home.
She remembered that she and Danny were supposed to deliver their presentation today, had he done it on his own? And Marco, he and Gracie were supposed to share laundry duty for another week as punishment for their unauthorized road trip across the border. She hated that she'd let her brothers down.
After the girls had dinner, they were divided into two groups, one team would do the laundry and take the trash out, and Gracie's team would clean the kitchen from top to bottom. Amber was on Gracie's team, so it was hard for her to avoid the older girl. Luckily, with witnesses in the room, Amber wouldn't be stupid enough to try anything.
The girls lined up against the wall while Linda inspected the kitchen, "Okay, good job girls," she nodded, "Free time."
'Free time' was just code for being locked in their rooms until the morning. Gracie took the time to try and study again. She could feel Amber's eyes on her as she buried her face in a book, trying to seem unbothered. She tried to ignore her, pretending she was back at home and it was just Maia or Riley sitting across from her.
"Just seventeen more hours," she told herself, "Seventeen more hours until my moms come and get me."
There was no guarantee that she would be allowed to go home tomorrow, but she trusted that her moms would find a way. It was like Marco said, they would always fight for her, she just had to let them.
Gracie thought about her brother, not Marco or Danny, but her biological brother, whose name she hadn't even bothered to find out. She imagined a small teenage boy, sitting in a big swanky house with his dad, living a normal, healthy, and comfortable life. She hoped he'd never experienced the darkness that life had brought Gracie, and she hoped he had someone to fight for him. Maybe he was happy, maybe Greg was a good father to him, and maybe just maybe, she could have some kind of relationship with her brother once Greg let go of his bigotry and allowed Gracie to go home.
"Let me guess," Amber spoke, making Gracie hold her breath, "Your new foster parents didn't want a dyke living in their house?" She sat up and perched on the edge of her bed so she was directly facing Gracie. "Didn't want that rubbing off on their real kids? They have a daughter? They catch you staring at her, or worse?" She laughed.
Gracie didn't answer, Amber's words sickened her, but if she tried to defend herself, she would only get hurt again. Amber scoffed and climbed into bed. Gracie settled in for another sleepless night, willing herself to hold on just long enough to see her moms.
Somehow, Gracie had managed to fall asleep for a little while but was forced into consciousness when Linda banged violently on the door the next morning. She shot out of bed, scooped up her clothes, and made a play to get to the bathroom first. With eight girls in one house, there was always some sort of commotion in the morning.
In that respect, it wasn't so different from being at home. Stella and Lilah had their own bathroom, but the five teenagers all shared one, and with everyone sharing bedrooms, the bathroom was often the only place to get any privacy.
Luckily, the other girls were still getting up, so she locked herself in and showered as quickly as possible, avoiding the wrath of angry teenagers if she took too long. The water didn't run very warm, there was mold growing at the base of the shower and clumps of hair blocking the drain meaning she was standing in a few inches of murky water by the time she was finished, but she was just grateful for a moment of peace. She was the first at the table for breakfast.
Amber made a point of sitting next to Gracie at meal times, for no other reason than to freak her out. Every time Linda had her back turned, Amber would whisper awful remarks in Gracie's ear. She'd also started 'accidentally' stepping on Gracie's toes or bumping into her. As scared as she was of the girl, Gracie was getting angrier by the second but couldn't fight back. Amber was bigger, faster, and stronger, and Gracie barely knew how to throw a punch. She didn't want to get into a fight, but she didn't know how long she could go on keeping her mouth shut.
After breakfast, the girls were all forced to sit in a circle, go around the room, and talk about themselves. They did this every day, but yesterday Gracie was allowed to skip it, now that she was settled in, she knew she'd have to share something today.
It wasn't like group therapy at the hospital, although Gracie was apprehensive at first, she'd started to look forward to going there, and she was never forced to open up, but here she didn't have a choice.
"So, Gracie, why don't you tell everyone what brought you here?" Linda asked.
Gracie looked around the room, all eyes were on her, and she felt like the girl she was months ago, that girl who was terrified to share her story for the first time in group therapy. Back then, she had her best friend at her side, but now she was alone, none of these people cared about her, so she decided she would share as little as possible, "Uh, well I'm supposed to be getting adopted and my birth father is blocking it. I've never met him, but he seems to think he knows what's best for me," she crossed her arms and sunk into her seat, hoping it would end there.
"How do you know he doesn't?" Molly, one of the other girls asked. She was one of the oldest and had been there a lot longer than everyone else, she was also the only girl that bothered to introduce herself when Gracie arrived.
Linda often encouraged the girls to discuss these things amongst themselves, she said the only reason she needed to be there was to encourage accountability. And in case she needed to break up a fight.
"Well, how would he? We've never met. I've been living with my foster parents for months and things were finally going well for me, and he's taking me away from them, probably because he feels guilty for walking out on my birth mom when she was pregnant with me."
"Wouldn't you rather live with someone you're actually related to?" Molly asked, "If I could live with my mom I would, but she doesn't care about me, you're lucky you have a parent who wants you."
Actually, she had three. Gracie hadn't thought about it like that, but it didn't matter; Greg had no right to barge into her life and upheave everything just because he was irresponsible sixteen years ago.
"Can I be done sharing please?" Gracie asked Linda, avoiding eye contact with the other girls.
After an hour of group, the girls had to sit in the schoolroom and do their homework or whatever school work they had. Most of the girls here had been kicked out of their schools, which is why they were sent to a group home that had its own tutor. If you could call her that.
Mrs. Wright was a small, plump woman with white hair, and unlike her name suggested she was often mistaken in what she was teaching the girls. Gracie didn't dare to correct her when she was telling everyone the wrong way to use 'there', 'their', and 'they're'. Still, she was a nice enough person. She'd made a point to tell Gracie what pretty handwriting she had.
She just wished she was back at White Coast, with Elle and Danny, eating lunch together on the green, sitting on the beach during free periods, and walking each other to and from classes. She never had to be alone at school, and if she ever needed her mother, she was always right there on campus. When that picture of Gracie was making the rounds, she thought she'd never want to go back there, she never imagined that one day she'd actually miss it.
Gracie had completed her homework, it wasn't up to her usual level, but under the circumstances, she was impressed she'd even finished it. So she sat patiently watching the clock, waiting for it to hit twelve, and when it finally did, the door knocked instantly, just like Stella and Lilah had promised.
She followed Linda to the front door and practically leaped into her mother's arms when she saw them standing on the porch with Anita.
"I missed you," she let out a few tears while her face was hidden in Stella's shoulder.
"We missed you too, love," Lilah and Stella sandwiched Gracie between them, she had never needed a hug from them more.
Lilah sat in the back seat with Gracie while Anita was in the front with Stella, "How has it been? Are the other girls nice?" She asked.
Gracie didn't know if she should tell her moms about Amber, was there any need to make them worry if she would be back home in no time? "It's fine I guess, I've just been keeping to myself, trying to blend in," she said, but every time she blinked she saw Amber's evil smirk, "I just want to come home."
"I know, love," Lilah put her arm around her daughter for the rest of the drive.
"How is everyone at home? Did Danny do our presentation?"
"They're good, they miss you of course, and yes, Danny did the presentation, and because you worked on the slideshow and all of the research, your teacher has decided to give you both an A+, so you don't have to worry about playing catch up in English," Lilah smiled with pride.
"What about Marco? Is he mad that he has to do all our chores by himself?"
"Actually, all of the kids have pitched in, they haven't known what to do with themselves since you've been gone, none of us have," Lilah held her tears in.
"Looks like we're here," Stella said as they pulled up outside an obnoxious iron gate.
Gracie looked out of the window at the house that Greg had invited her over to, it was in the same neighborhood as Sarah's, but it was much bigger, "I thought it was just him and his kid, why do they need such a big house?" Gracie asked. She and the Tuckers had managed just fine in their three-bedroom home.
They stood at the gate, Anita pressed a button on the wall, and after a moment, there was a buzzing sound, and the gate opened. She held on to Lilah's hand as they walked up the steps to the front door, "You ready?" She asked.
Gracie nodded and watched as Anita rang the doorbell, moments later it swung open.
Greg towered over the three women and the teenage girl, he must have been well over six foot. His broad shoulders almost took up the whole doorway. His dark hair was slicked back with a few gray patches peeking through the product he'd lathered on, and he was clean-shaven, wearing a well-pressed suit and perfectly straight tie. He was fairly handsome, and something about him seemed familiar. Something about his eyes.
"Hi," he had a deep voice, even that seemed familiar to Gracie like she had heard it before.
"Hi," Gracie replied, letting him hear her voice for the first time, and hating how much she sounded like a little girl. She couldn't have him thinking she was a helpless child who needed her father.
He couldn't take his eyes off her as he walked his guests through the house and into the living room, "You look just like your mother," Greg smiled as he sat down opposite Gracie, who'd made a point to sit in between Stella and Lilah, clutching their hands.
"Birth mother," Gracie said quietly.
He spoke to her the same way Julia did; like he knew her, like he knew who she'd grown into. Gracie knew the truth though, these people who claimed to be her parents would never know her and they didn't deserve the chance to get to know her. She had parents already, and a family who loved her. She didn't need these strangers.
"Uh, right," he clenched his jaw and glanced at the two women who'd been taking care of Gracie. he was visibly uncomfortable being around her foster parents, "So, um, it's amazing to finally meet you, I'm sorry it's taken us this long," he smiled through his perfect white teeth.
Everything about him seemed perfect, and it threw Gracie off. She knew he was rich, but in the back of her mind, she still had an image of the scumbag she'd imagined when she first learned that Hugo wasn't her real father. Greg was too perfect, he had to be.
"Thank you for coming."
"Well I didn't have much choice," Gracie wasn't usually rude, but she had no interest in catering to his feelings, after all, he hadn't given her that courtesy when he made her leave her family and move into a group home to share a room with her bully.
"Right, I'm sorry, I didn't want it to happen like this, but, well I am your father."
"My father killed himself," she looked into Greg's eyes, making sure he could see how serious she was, "He raised me until I was eight years old. So let's get that straight, you're not my father. You're a stranger."
Greg nodded his head, seemingly agreeing with Gracie, "I know, I have sixteen years to make up for, all I'm asking for is a chance, please-"
"Why are you doing this?" Gracie cut him off, "You don't know me."
"That's the point, Grace, I-"
"It's Gracie," she stopped him again. How could he expect to take care of her if he couldn't even get her name right?
"Right, Gracie. I want to know you, I want the chance to be your parent," he seemed sincere, but it was too late now. "When Julia got pregnant, she said she was going to take care of-" he bit his lip, knowing he'd said the wrong thing again. "Look, neither of us was ready to be parents. I was a dumb kid, but I'm a different person now. If I had known that your mother was still pregnant all those years ago I would have stayed. I should have stayed anyway."
"So, why didn't you? You must have known she was using, you could have helped her get clean instead of leaving her alone to deal with all of that," Gracie suddenly realized she felt sorry for Julia, of course, she was responsible for her own actions, but no one deserved to be abandoned.
"I was just a kid and I made a mistake, but that's why I want to do the right thing now, Gracie, I want both of my kids under one roof, I want us to be a family."
"The right thing would be letting me stay with my moms, they're my family," she spoke with confidence, showing Greg that she didn't need a father.
"But they're not blood, and I can provide for you."
His implication that Stella and Lilah were unfit parents made Gracie's blood boil, "Because you have money and a big fancy house with a dozen bedrooms?" She scoffed and stood up, "I need to leave now, please," she turned to Lilah, who nodded and walked her back out to the car, leaving Stella and Anita with Greg.
"What if he doesn't let me come home?" She asked her mom, "What if he makes me stay in that place until he gets his way?" It was possible, the worst-case scenarios usually came true for Gracie.
"Then we will keep fighting," Lilah tilted her sobbing daughter's chin upwards and looked her in the eye, "We'll get through this."