Riley told Gracie her story, avoiding major details. She was fourteen when it happened to her.
Her older foster brother had made a habit of crawling into her bed at night, but one night he did more than just sleep, "I didn't tell anyone, apart from Danny. But he was just a little kid, he didn't get it. We got moved to a new home the next day so I never had to see him again, but he was still inside my head."
Gracie was in awe of Riley, of how brave she'd been.
"But eventually, it got easier to deal with. When my moms fostered me they got me into counseling and I learned to cope," Riley took Gracie's hands, "It will get better, I promise you. I didn't report my attack to the police, I never got the chance for justice. You are so brave for doing what you're doing even if it doesn't feel like it. You will get through this."
Gracie wrapped her arms around Riley, squeezing her tight, hoping one day she could get to where Riley was. "Thank you, for telling me," she said, "It can't have been easy," she knew that Riley didn't deserve what happened to her, and it only cemented the thought that Gracie didn't deserve it either. Nobody did.
Riley and Gracie spent the rest of the evening in the living room watching a movie with the rest of the kids. Gracie wasn't paying attention, but she was just grateful she wasn't alone anymore.
When it came time for everyone to go to bed, Gracie was relieved to know that Riley couldn't sleep in the dark either. She had a small night light next to her bed, subtly illuminating the room. After having slept for most of the day, Gracie wasn't tired enough yet. So she pulled out her phone and texted Sarah, she had dozens of missed calls and texts from her already.
'I'm at your sister's house, they're fostering me. I'm safe,' was the first message Gracie had sent to anyone since it happened.
'Did something happen after the accident yesterday?' She replied.
Gracie couldn't bring herself to type out what exactly had happened, so she replied with a simple 'Yes' and turned her phone off. She felt bad for keeping this from her best friend, but the more people that knew, the more real it became. She knew Sarah would pity her, and then she would try to fix it. As if she could make the problem go away.
But it would never go away, not really. The best Gracie could do was make sure her attacker didn't have a chance to hurt anyone else. She had to get him sent to prison, there was no question about it. And there was no chance she was going to let what happened to her stop her from fighting, she deserved better, and she was finally starting to believe it.
It would take a lot of work, and probably a lot of tears, but Gracie was determined to get her life on track. Why should someone else's actions mean she couldn't get what she wanted?
Since her dad died, all she wanted was a family who could show her the love and respect that she needed to thrive, and she thought she might have found that at John and Mary's.
Gracie hadn't known exactly what it felt like to have a real family, parents who cared about her, but now she needed to find out. The Tuckers may not be her family, but she wasn't going to stop until she found them, and the Tuckers' house was probably the safest place for her to be while she worked towards her goal.
Gracie took a few more days off of school, she had Anita make an appointment with her counselor so she could talk through everything with someone. And when Gracie came out of the counselor's office, it was like a weight had lifted off of her chest. She talked through her ordeal again, and her counselor asked her questions. At the end of the session, she gave her some coping mechanisms. Mostly breathing exercises but she also encouraged her to start journaling.
When Gracie was a little girl, she loved journaling, she would write everything that happened every single day, and she kept doing it when she went into the system, but after a few years, she landed in an emergency placement when her former guardian had her foster license revoked, her new foster sister stole the journal, along with the only photos of her parents that Gracie had left. The girl took Gracie and her belongings outside and made her watch as she burned them in the barbeque. Gracie told Anita what happened and she was removed from the home, but she never found out if the girl had gotten in trouble for what she'd done.
After that, Gracie had no outlet for her feelings, and she started struggling. It was the image of her father's blue lips and bloody wrists that haunted her dreams. One day when she was nine years old, she started to think that maybe he had the right idea, to end the suffering now before it got too bad.
It started with a pair of scissors she'd stolen from the kitchen. After a few small scratches, she couldn't understand why she wasn't dying. But the pain that she'd caused herself felt comforting, she could barely feel the heartache of losing her dad because the scratches on her arm were distracting her. She did the same thing every day. Gradually, the cuts got worse, deeper, and more painful but provided her with a new outlet. She needed that pain to survive.
It had been a week since Gracie arrived at the Tuckers. John still hadn't admitted what he'd done, but the results from the SAFE kit had finally come back, and the evidence was stacking up against him. Gracie had to be interviewed by another police officer and then she had a meeting with a lawyer that Stella and Lilah had hired to work the case. They'd used their own money, which Gracie protested at first, but when Stella said that cases like this need good attorneys, she knew it was her best shot.
The slim dark-haired woman sat at the kitchen table with Gracie, Stella, and Lilah, who had both taken another day off of work. The woman introduced herself as Janice and started asking Gracie and her foster mothers countless questions. She needed to know everything, and as much as Gracie hated talking about it, she knew she had to if she wanted justice.
"The first thing that will happen will be the plea hearing," Janice explained, "You won't have to be there, but Judge Rollins will ask how John pleads, and that will determine whether or not a trial will take place," Janice spoke matter-of-factly, she'd done this kind of thing a million times before, "I've been in contact with his attorney and he's proposed we make a deal."
"What kind of deal?" Gracie asked, completely oblivious to the way the criminal justice system worked.
"If you tell the judge that you consented, John will be charged with statutory rape and be sentenced to one year of community service."
Gracie's blood boiled and her hands clenched so hard her nails were cutting into her palms. Stella and Lilah started objecting to Janice's suggestion, their words were sharp but Gracie wasn't paying enough attention to know what they were saying, her eyes were focused on Janice, "No way," she stated, "That's not a deal, I have to lie and in return, he gets a slap on the wrist?" She started shouting, "No! I want him in prison!"
"Okay, okay," Janice raised her hand in defense, "It's ultimately your decision, but you should know that if we don't take this deal, it'll go to trial, and we might not win."
"But what about the SAFE kit? Isn't that all the evidence we need?" Stella asked, "His DNA was everywhere."
At first, Gracie was irritated that everyone kept saying 'we'. She was the one he had raped, but then she started to realize that it meant she had people on her side, she had a team.
"His lawyer will try to make excuses for that. Gracie lived in his house, there are ways around the law. But part of my job is to figure out what story he's going to spin and find a way to counter it. If you don't want to take the deal, that's fine but you need to know your options," Janice said.
"Gracie, you don't have to make any decisions right now, we can talk this over," Lilah said, "Whatever choice you make, we'll support you."
The meeting with Janice lasted hours, Gracie was exhausted and she barely spoke after her outburst but she was glad they had made a start. She vowed to herself she wouldn't rest until he was locked up, there was no pressure to make a decision about the plea deal, but Gracie already knew they were going to trial.
Danny came home from school and walked into Maia and Riley's room, where Gracie was sitting writing in the notebook her counselor had provided. "Hey, how's it going?" He sat down. Danny and the other kids still didn't know what was going on in Gracie's life, but they knew it was bad, and Danny wanted to make sure Gracie knew that he was there for her. After school almost every evening he hung out with her, he taught her how to play all his favorite video games so they spent most of their time tethered to the TV.
"Hey, yeah I'm good, how was school?" Gracie asked, "Did I miss much?"
"Not really, well Amy tripped in the cafeteria and got mashed potato all over herself so that was- oh you meant the classes," Danny laughed.
"It's okay, I'll probably fall behind anyway, I always do," Gracie laughed too, but she was upset that she had missed out on spending time with her friends. Elle and Danny had been helping her before it all happened and now she was back to square one with her social life and her academics.
"When are you coming back?" Danny asked, he danced around the question before talking, afraid it might strike a nerve.
"Oh, I'm not sure," Gracie closed her notebook and tucked it under her pillow, "There might not be much point, I could get moved soon."
It wasn't uncommon for foster kids to get moved from a home with no warning, and even though her foster mothers had said they would foster her throughout the investigation and the trial, she was painfully aware that her life wasn't always as straightforward as it seemed.
"Whatever, it's no big deal."
"But- I thought my moms said you were staying for a while, they said you had something you needed to work through..." he trailed off.
"Right," Gracie hesitated, her counselor encouraged her to tell people she trusted. Danny had given her no reason to think he could ever betray that trust, "Well, there's going to be a trial."
Danny's eyes widened, "Did you do something?" He asked.
"Not me, the dad in my last foster home did something. To me. So, I'm trying to get him sent to jail, and your moms offered to keep me here throughout the trial, but I don't know. Things change," she rambled.
"Oh, right. I'm sorry," Danny said, "Well, don't give up, when Riley's dad tried to take her away before we were adopted, they didn't stop fighting until she was back here, they'll do the same for you."
"Yeah, thanks."
She was grateful that Danny had so much hope for her, but the situation was different; Stella and Lilah wanted to adopt Riley, Gracie was just a temporary foster kid, and they had no long-term obligations to her.
The next morning, Gracie woke up to the sound of Riley's alarm clock. As she watched her foster sisters start getting ready for school, she decided it was time for her to go back.
Lilah said she could take as much time as she wanted, Gracie was worried other kids at school would notice that she'd been gone for so long and use it as a reason to start rumours and pick on her, but if she put it off any longer it would only get worse. John had already taken so much from her, and she wasn't going to let him take this away too. So she stood up and started getting dressed in some of the clothes that Riley had given her, and joined everyone downstairs for breakfast.
Everyone was surprised to see her dressed and ready for the day, they'd grown accustomed to seeing her in sweats or pajamas with her hair in a tangled ponytail down her back. Gracie herself had forgotten she could look so normal, she'd brushed the knots out of her hair and dressed in some black skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, and Riley had given her an old pair of black sneakers.
"Are you going to school, love?" Stella asked as she passed Gracie her breakfast.
"Yeah, I don't want to fall behind anymore. I need to start getting back to normal," Gracie remembered Dr. Ellis saying it was important to have a routine.
"I'll help you catch up at lunch today," Danny said with a smile, Gracie felt lucky to have him in her life, to have all of them.
After breakfast, the kids were all piling into the back of Lilah's minivan when she stopped Gracie for a moment, "Are you sure you want to go back to school?" Lilah asked, "It's only been a week," she was visibly worried.
"Yeah, I can't let what happened to me stop me from living my life. I have to keep pushing through," Gracie said, smiling. Of course, she was nervous, but she needed to take control of her life now, no one else could do that for her.
"I'm so proud of you," Lilah said, and kissed Gracie on the forehead, sending a wave of warmth through her body. The small act was enormous to Gracie, no one had shown her that kind of love in a long time.
When the final bell rang, Gracie was relieved to have made it through without having a panic attack, with Danny and Elle at her side, she barely thought about John. He was still in the back of her mind, but she found ways to push him aside and focus on her schoolwork.
On the way out of the front gates, Gracie decided that if she could face school, then she could face Sarah. She'd been avoiding her texts and calls all week, she didn't even tell her she wasn't going to be at their group therapy session the day before, it was cruel.
Once she cleared it with Lilah, she hopped on a bus to Sarah's house. She'd been nervous all week about talking to her, but now that she was on her way she was just looking forward to seeing her best friend again. It felt like only a few seconds between getting on the bus and standing at Sarah's front door. She knocked and waited, her nerves crept back up on her, when the door swung open and Sarah stood there, Gracie couldn't help but throw herself into Sarah's arms.
"Gracie, I've been calling, are you okay? Riley said something happened?" Sarah started asking a million questions that Gracie couldn't begin to answer.
She stayed still with her arms wrapped around Sarah.
"Gracie, talk to me," Sarah pulled away slightly, looking her friend directly into her tear-filled eyes, "Come on, let's go upstairs."
"It happened after the car accident when Riley's mom dropped me off, and then I ran straight to the police station to find her," Gracie explained everything pretty quickly, but Sarah got the gist of it.
They sat with their arms interlocked on Sarah's bed, "You ran all the way there? After all of that?"
Gracie nodded, "I filed a report, gave a statement, and then they took me to a clinic where they did the exam."
"And the Tuckers have been fostering you this whole time?" Sarah was shocked, but Gracie could tell by her expression that she was treading carefully with every question she asked, and she valued that.
Gracie nodded her head, "Yeah, they've been amazing, Stella and Lilah even hired a lawyer for me. I feel so bad that they're spending all this money."
"They wouldn't have offered if they didn't want to take care of you, you have no reason to feel guilty," Sarah comforted her friend.
"I know, but it's just hard. They've done so much for me. Riley even gave me a bunch of her old clothes, Maia gave me some makeup, Marco kills all the spiders for us and checks downstairs when we hear a noise at night, and Danny's always checking in on me, making sure I'm okay," the Tuckers had quickly become the closest thing to family that Gracie had ever known. Of course, she had her dad for the first part of her life, but he was always so distant and cold.
There was one day that often floated into Gracie's mind. When she wrote about it in her old journal the entry was titled 'One good day.'
Hugo Santos woke his sleeping daughter early one Saturday morning, the smell of pancakes was the first thing she noticed. He scooped her up from her bed and carried her downstairs while she giggled, she felt like a princess. He sat her down at the breakfast bar and danced around to the radio while he squirted whipped cream onto his face in the shape of a mustache. Gracie had never seen her dad so happy.
They spent the whole day together, he took her to the mall and bought her all the clothes and toys she wanted, and then they went to the movies, Gracie's choice, he gave her thirty dollars and let her buy all the snacks and popcorn they could eat. They ended the day with milkshakes at a small diner in the city, a place Hugo had taken his late wife more times than he could count. Gracie was used to taking care of herself, so she'd grown up pretty quickly, it was nice to just be a kid for a change.
It was years later when Gracie realized that that was his goodbye to her. She had to leave all her new toys behind when she was taken into foster care, and her heart broke when she eventually grew out of the clothes he'd bought. All she was left with was a silver chain with a heart-shaped charm hanging on it, it was cheap costume jewelry but Gracie cherished it like it was gold.
"You'll be okay, I promise," Sarah's voice brought Gracie out of her daydream, no time at all had passed while she was lost in the memory of her father.