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THE first place that ever came remotely close to being called home in my mind was the orphanage where I was left soon after my birth. It was an aged building, with high ceilings and creaking wooden floors. Stone walls of it were wrapped in poison ivy in parts and when it rained, petrichor invaded your senses at all times.
As surreal as it seemed, the reality of living there was far from it.
Beautiful places hold haunting secrets too and my first home wasn't devoid of them. There were rumours that years ago when it was someone else's residence and not an orphanage built on donated land, the lady who lived with her new husband there had been attacked and killed by an animal in its gardens. Some said it wasn't an animal at all that tore her limbs apart, but that her husband had killed her with his bare hands, that he was, behind closed doors, a mad, psychotic man.
None of us knew the truth, but the story haunted us nevertheless.
We didn't have a curfew to live by. No one on the staff cared enough for it. Mrs Alice had two simple rules. If you were over sixteen, you needed to be inside the gates by ten at night.
The second rule applied to the under-sixteen lot. We could play in the garden for as long as we wanted in the evening but when the lights of the dining hall were switched on, we had to be inside within five minutes or we slept without dinner in the empty room at the edge of the corridor. Every night, Mrs Alice, like a ritual would start from the patio and make her way to the dining hall, switching each light on for the evening, and the kids who played outside would rile up in anticipation. The anxiety would increase with each switch that was switched on and most would give up even before she made it to the dining hall.
It was a good trick and it surely worked. No one had the guts to wait until she made it to the end and her work was done.
No screaming, no shouting, just a non-verbal threat of being left hungry and alone in the faraway room.
I never felt what they felt. The excitement and fear, anticipation and apprehension of failing to reach before the warning light. I never felt the panic of it all. Because I wasn't in the gardens playing. I was on the top floor, awaiting the dinner bell and reading and watching them rush inside, afraid to be late and I would bask in the feeling that I never had to feel what they had felt.
Tonight feels like karma slapping me back in the face for it.
Even Art's hand cannot shake this feeling off of me. The driveway is excruciatingly long and as we walk closer, I suffocate with anxiety more.
Someone is inside. I don't know who, I haven't seen a single silhouette or face yet. But like a haunting reminder of the past, the lights of the aged mansion light up, one room at a time, starting from the top floor, down to the last.
I try to shift my focus, and I try to think less of the past but the future ahead doesn't seem very calming too. Finally, I shift my focus to something else altogether, something that may calm me after all.
"There's still time to turn back, you know?" I whisper, looking at Art but his tensed face doesn't provide me much peace.
"And exactly where do we go back after turning back?" I don't like his rational side.
"I don't know, lay low somewhere nearby. That inn seemed nice. We can keep an eye on the people who live here, ask around, maybe come back in the morning," I mumble and suddenly the lack of research on our part seems to bite back. We should have been patient, we should have waited.
In the excitement of finally having answers, Art and I forgot what it would mean if this was the wrong place to be. If this was unsafe too. What if those who awaited inside weren't the ones with answers but the ones we were supposed to stay away from? Did we rush into this?
"I think it's too late for that now," Art's words brought me back and my eyes snapped up to the house in front. He stopped, barely a few yards away from the mansion and when I followed his eyes I saw her.
A lady, standing alone on the last stair leading to the main door of the house. I could see her, as clearly as I could see Art and that's when I knew. She was like us.
She looked every bit haunting as she looked human and from afar, I saw a smile spreading across her face and on cue, her eyes blazed more. My fingers tightened around Art's hand as my heartbeat thumped loudly in my ears. She stood against a pillar, her body rigid against it. She was in a nightgown which ended right below her knee and she clutched a light dressing gown over it. On a chilly night like tonight, someone else would be freezing in those clothes but she seemed unfazed by it then I remembered I hadn't felt cold or warm tonight too.
By now I shouldn't be shocked by such revelations, but seeing her this way, and this thought creeping into my mind distracted me. Did the cab driver think the same way when I sat comfortably in the cold with just a t-shirt on? Was the lady on the bus staring at me because she wondered how I was comfortable with such cold, shivering weather?
Before I could think further, the lady ahead of me moved, making Art and I stop instantly. She moved so elegantly from her place, not sparing us another look as she turned and walked inside the house, leaving us confused.
"Should we -" I began to ask Art if we should continue but then I heard her voice.
She sounded crystal clear to my ears, her footsteps so audible as if she was walking beside me. Art closed his eyes beside me and I knew he could hear her too. She was walking away from us and then, she stopped and spoke, "They're here. Come, now!" She yelled, and my senses took a deep dive.
Voices emerged. Voices which had been silent and I gasped at the feeling that it left within me. There were voices I obviously didn't recognise, calling someone, asking someone to come to the patio, asking someone to even bring a snack even and then there was one, of an older man who asked someone to bring a 'shield'.
I could hear them all suddenly, I could see their shadows moving through the window and suddenly my heartbeat fluttered like a helicopter blade, why were they bringing shields? "Art, there are so many of them," I said, taking a step towards him. For the first time since we had woken up and the needles had been taken off me, I panicked. My breathing became erratic as I heard them come down from the stairs inside the house and it was then that Art turned to look at me and let go of my hand to steady me from my shoulders.
"Aethera, listen to me," he whispered, his eyes staring into mine. He was tensed, I could see it on his face, but he was also trying hard to mask it. "We don't have any other option, we cannot run away. It's too late."
His words cut through me, bringing me back to the harsh reality that our life was turning out to be. I couldn't outrun so many of them, not when they were present literally ahead of me, so many of them, waiting for us.
I could hear them, and what scared me was that I couldn't place their tones. There were so many. Some were excited, some were tense, and some were whisper-yelling orders.
And then, I saw them.
One by one, they came into my view when I stood at the stairs of the mansion, Art beside me, his hand tense around mine. I could hear his erratic breath and I squeezed his hand when they emerged.
She was the first one to reappear, still smiling with her eyes clearer now. She was in her mid-twenties with her hair pinned up in a messy bun to perfection. If it wasn't for her eyes, she was like any other woman you saw on the streets, living in her perfect cul-de-sac, tired eyes and messy hair but in this glow with that unnatural stare, she was everything that was the opposite of that image.
Behind her, a man of the same age appeared and he, without gleaming eyes, scared me more. He wasn't like her or like us for that matter but that is what made him different. In the middle of the night, he stood combat-ready, in dark attire and boots with a staff hiding behind his figure. He wasn't smiling like her, in fact, seeing him, I wondered if someone like him had ever smiled at all. His eyes were pitch black, devoid of the glow that we had in ours.
He was the first one to speak, "How did you find this place?" he said, in a gruff voice that made me take a step back. "Who are you?"
"Jace!" The woman said immediately, her smile leaving her. She gave him a quick look which I couldn't see but it was enough for him to take a step back and look down in a bow as if adhering to her command. "That is no way to talk to kids!"
"We're very sorry, we were lost and we saw this house and thought about getting help," Art said as if covering up but I mentally chuckled.
She saw us. She saw our eyes and she knew. It was too late to run away and that was the most pathetic attempt of an excuse to do that now. If we were fucked, we were fucked.
"Oh, I don't think you're lost," she chuckled, and just like that, the little smile crept back to her face as she took a step towards us. "In fact, I think you've finally reached the right place."
"Maybe, maybe not. Could we know what this right or wrong place is?" Before I knew it, the words had left me. What was the point in beating around the bush now? She saw us, we saw her. All the anxiety within me was beginning to fade but my mind was powered by unnatural amounts of adrenaline now. I felt as if I was on autopilot as if I had accepted my fate. She either had answers or she was leading us into a trap.
Might as well explore.
"Could I first know who it is that found the place?" This was beginning to look a lot like a pointless cross-question and one of us had to give in. It irked me that it had to be me because, by the looks of her, and the annoyed man at the back, it didn't seem to be them.
I took a final deep breath and pulled out my hand from Art's. He turned on reflex and gave me a confused look but I ignored him as I took a step towards the entrance of the mansion, leaving Art behind. The man moved instantly and stepped in front, glaring at me but whatever care I had left in the world had left my body.
But the newfound corners of my mind had already decided what I was going to do. My mind and my heart had had enough of this adrenaline. They just had to give in. This had to end.
"Look, lady," I spoke, trying my best to sound intimidating but I knew there was just annoyance seeping in now. "I woke up this week from the most horrible fucking pain I have ever felt in my entire existence with needles hooked onto my goddamn arm and a doctor hovering over me who knew nothing of my condition. I have been running away since then with no answers and really creepy happenings bothering me. I cannot live, breathe and eat without hearing things I shouldn't be hearing and I can't stop but see even the smallest details which hurt my head. Everything is creepy and scaring me and for days I have had no answers. This house is supposed to have my answers, I dreamt about it so I am here. Tell me, do you know what the fuck is going on or not?" I pretty much yelled the last part at her and soon accepted the fact that the man might kill me soon.
And that's when I slumped. All the adrenaline that had guided me to say all the words I had just spoken left me and I was done.
What frustrated me was that she was still smiling, holding her stance as if nothing I said registered with her, as if time had frozen still for her and I was just a mute child yelling a tantrum at her.
She finally spoke seconds later, giving me a while to calm down, "I told you, Jace."
I heard then, the feet shuffling behind the doors of the mansion. People who had earlier stood behind the doors left, climbing up the stairs, and walking away from us. No one spoke a word, and their unknown presence soon disappeared.
"We didn't expect you to find us, certainly not this soon," she said, cryptically.
"Who are you? Why were we led here?" Art asked, taking a step ahead.
"I am Clarissa. And trust me, I know what you have gone through in the last week. I have been through the same, not long ago." She took a step ahead, her hands gesturing meanwhile for the man, Jace to step away.
"You don't need to trust us, I didn't trust anyone here when they found me too. But you need to listen," her eyes glistened as she approached, standing right in front. "This is where you're supposed to be. You need answers, we have them. But we need you to have patience before we give those answers to you. You have a lot to know and we don't have much time but trust me, you will know everything, soon."
"And until then?" I asked.
"Until then, you are our guests," she smiled. "You can either be patient, trust us and know much more in the morning and the subsequent days that you're here. Or you can walk out right now, I am sure you have the routes figured out."
Her eyes challenged us, a smirk spreading across her lips. She knew we had nowhere to go. She knew she was our last hope.
"And why should we trust you to have the answers?" Art questioned.
"Because you and I aren't that different, brother."
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