When is a monster not a monster?
-Unknown
Fatima
I'm not asking for complete happiness, just a little less pain. That's what the drugs gave me, an escape, a little less suffering. Oddly, I found comfort in the heavy feeling of emptiness.
I don't know how long I've been cooped up in my house or how many weeks of school I've missed. I haven't done much besides speaking to my mom and uncle.
I didn't have it in me to do anything. Pray, eat, sleep, and then repeat. That has become my routine.
But today, Juju had convinced me to come along to some girl named Adama's birthday party in London.
I cleaned up my house before hopping into the shower. I put on light makeup and put my hair into a sleek high ponytail.
She didn't tell me the theme, so I assumed there wasn't one and began picking my outfit. First, I paired a Miaou corset top with Mugler jeans. Next, I put on my aquazzura heels and added chaumet accessories.
I looked good enough to eat. I grabbed my bag and jacket and then headed to the train station. Juju and Simna were waiting by the barriers, and we hopped on the train.
"Where's Rabi?" I asked.
"At the library, she's set on graduating this year", Simna responds.
Simna and Rabi are much older than Juju and me. I don't know the exact story, but they started university again and are now in their final year with us.
We finally made it to the party. It was at a house in Edgware, and it was packed. Did the birthday girl know this many people?
"You guys made it", a girl exclaimed, rushing over to us.
She hugged Juju and simna before turning to me.
"Adama, this is Fatima", Simna says.
"She's been locked in her house for weeks, so we decided to get her out", Juju exclaims.
"Hi, I'm Adama", she says, extending her hand, a smile plastered on her face.
"It's nice to meet you, and happy birthday", I say, smiling awkwardly.
She was awfully nice to someone who had crashed her party. But judging by the number of people here, there were other uninvited guests.
"Thank you, and you look beautiful. I love me a pretty girl", she says, raking over my body.
"Relax, Adama", Juju says, pulling her away.
"Amira", she yells at a girl who has just walked in.
"Enjoy the party", she says, walking away towards the girl.
I was ready to call it a night two hours into the party. I said my goodbyes to Simna and Juju before making my way out.
I couldn't get a train back at this ungodly hour, so I decided to check into a hotel. I got a room at Hilton and texted Simna and Juju the details in case they also needed a place to stay for the night.
I quickly changed into a bathrobe and got into bed. I scrolled through my phone for a while before sleep overcame me.
I was awakened at some point by Juju and Simna. I let them in and then got straight back into bed. I could hear them fumbling around the room before getting into bed.
Juju clung to me and rested her head on my back. She's always been the cuddling type.
Ibrahim
"Aisha, I'm not going to keep fighting for something that isn't worth it," I say, looking at the teary-eyed girl.
"Do you mean that we're not worth fighting for, has our relationship meant nothing to you this entire time?" she asks, her voice getting louder with every word.
I sighed, knowing what I was about to say would cause even more commotion.
"Yes. It's never been worth the time and headaches. It's the same every time we supposedly fix our issues. In less than a week, we have even more problems than before." I answer.
"Let's end this. It's not healthy", I add.
She stayed silent and shrunk into the car seat.
"Is there someone else?" she asks in a small voice.
"No", I respond, growing tired of this conversation.
"Then why?" she asks.
"Whatever it is, I'll fix it, Ibrahim. I'll change if that's what you want," she adds, grabbing my arm.
"I don't want you to change. That's the opposite of what I want. You're a beautiful girl with exceptional qualities and a lot to offer. So many guys would be lucky to have you just the way you are. I want you to find someone who will love you genuinely and not make you feel you need to change anything about yourself." I say.
"We're just too different. I'm doing this because I don't want to hurt you or myself. We can't keep deluding ourselves into thinking this won't end on a bad note", I add.
She lets go and sinks back into the seat.
"I understand. Your most appealing quality has always been empathy," She says, a small smile gracing her lips.
"You're a good guy, Ibrahim, and I also hope you find the girl for you," She adds.
I smile back at her.
"Will you drive me back home?" She asks.
"Of course", I reply, starting the car.
I drop her off at home before heading to Hud's bachelor pad. The moment I walked in, they began bombarding me with questions.
'"Did she smack you in the face with her purse?" Jafar asks.
"I'm sure she right hooked him," Bukar responds.
"Unfortunately for you guys, no violence was involved," I answered.
"She took it quite well", I added.
"Is this the same Aisha who told Ailah to stay away from you?" Akram asks.
I nodded in response.
"That's quite surprising," Hud says.
"Honestly, I thought she would go batshit," Jafar states.
"I'm just glad that's over with," I say, slumping into the couch.
"Woah", Jafar says, nearly falling off the chair.
"Look at how pretty these girls are," he says, passing the phone around.
It gets to me, and I observe the picture. There were about seven girls in the picture, but one caught my eye.
"Fatima?" I ask no one, in particular, looking at the familiar girl.
"You know her?" Jafar says, pointing to her.
She looked beyond gorgeous.
"Something like that", I answered.
"Is she a potential?" He asks, wiggling his eyebrows.
I glared at him, and he stuck his tongue out at me.
"Who posted it?" I asked Jafar.
"Some girl named Juwairiyya", He answers.
"Wait, AK, isn't this your ex?" Jafar asks, showing him the picture.
"The druggie?" Bukar asks.
"It's her", Akram says, his tone hinting at his distaste for seeing her.
"Ibrahim, you best tell your girl to stop hanging around her then," Hud says.
"She's not my girl, and she wouldn't be into that stuff", I respond.
"She's not your girl, but you know what she will and will not do," Bukar says, giving me a suspicious look.
"I've only met her once", I clarify.
"What's that saying about friends?" Jafar asks, snapping his fingers.
"Show me your friends, and I'll tell you who you are", Akram answers.
"Yes, that!" Jafar says.
"If he says she's not like that, let's take his word for it. We don't know her," Akram says.
Jafar raises his hands in surrender and winks at me. I hiss and turn away.
"Okay, let's change the topic," Bukar says.
"Yes, let's discuss the options for dinner," Jafar says excitedly.
"Of course, that's his go-to topic," Hud jokes, and we all laugh.
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Fatima's outfit👇