This is Noah and Mr. Knight's book. ;)
You can read it as a stand alone if you'd like to. It takes place in present time of my other book
I love you, Master Sawyer.
Their book can now be read on inkitt only due to Wattpad deleting it on me.
@ Boundlessreverie
This is a DDLB book so it may not be for everyone.
With that being said, if this isn't something that interests you, please find another book to read and don't report it. I can assure you there is nothing illegal/inappropriate written and nothing sexual happens while Noah is in little space.
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It's been two years since I've met Alek Knight at submissive training and two years since he's disappeared from my life without a word.
It's embarassing to admit but every time I close my eyes I can feel his hands against my skin, or the way he looked at me like I was the only boy for him. Even the yummy way he smelt the few times we were together.
Alek promised he wouldn't leave me, but he did. I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. Yes, two years later and i'm still in love with a guy I hardly know.
It's not that Alek owed me anything though. We only went on a couple of dates, I just didn't think he was the type of person to have sex with a guy then leave right after. It really felt like the connection we had meant something to him, but that clearly wasn't the case. Maybe he just wanted to have sex and that's it. It would have been nice if he said he didn't want to be with me but he said nothing. Not a single word to me.
I thought he was different but boy, was I wrong. You'd think after two years and being in a different relationship for half of that time would make those feelings go away, but they don't and they didn't. I honestly don't think they ever will. Alek was most definitely the one that got away.
It doesn't help when it feels like your current boyfriend doesn't care about you like he used to either. I do my best not to think about it and instead I try to be greatful for what I have and everything he's given me.
One year after Alek's disappearance I met Adam at Indulge. A BDSM club owned by Fox and Julian who are both good friends of mine now.
Adam was a very sweet and caring guy when I first met him, but after he had me move in with him for our six month anniversary, he changed. He did hurt me once but he told me it was an accident. Three months later and I haven't decided what I believe. I've never had a black eye before and I didn't like it. It was the day before Chris and Anthony's wedding too. I tried my best to cover the bruise, but it didn't work very well so I opted out on taking any photos that day.
Since then, he hasn't really laid a hand on me. He has been very controlling these past few months though. Always making me cook and clean, and if I don't do something right he always gets mad and yells at me. He's not really abusive physically, but mentally he knows just the right words to say and I fall for them every time. It's not like I mean to make him upset. Before moving here I barely knew how to cook, so I don't know how he thinks he's going to get some gormet meal out of me.
It sucks because I have nothing else going for me right now and honestly, I just don't want to be alone. It scares me. I think that's why I agreed to moving in with Adam so fast. It's not fun being alone and sometimes I have troubles making decisions with things. Although Adam doesn't really help me with deciding things anymore so it's been a struggle for me.
Some days, usually the weekdays because Adam doesn't like me working during the week, he makes me stay in the basement until he gets home and only likes me to be upstairs when he's home or if i'm cooking dinner. The only time I go out is when I tell him I have plans with Chris or Fox. I think the only reason he lets me go is so they don't get suspicious and ask questions. Adam doesn't like people knowing the details of our relationship even though I never talk about it.
The basement he tells me to stay in isn't some dungeon or anything either, it's actually nice and spacious. There's a large tv, comfy couch, a bedroom for my naps and a big bathroom. There's plenty to do to keep me busy so who am I to complain?
I have a phone, books to read, video games, movies and cartoons, I even color or play with my toys some days to pass the time. Adam doesn't know about the toys or the coloring though. What if he thinks i'm weird?
I know I could call one of my friends for help if I really wanted to leave but I feel fine where I am. I get to do whatever I want during the day and work at Daisy's on the weekends.
Daisy's is my favorite place to be. It's a flower shop that sells the prettiest flowers I've ever seen! There's no other place in the world that can make me as happy as that place can. The delicious aromas, my coworkers, the customers. . . It's all amazing and probably the only place that keeps me feeling sane.
Seeing the joy and excitement on a person's face when they find the perfect flowers is enough to get me through the day. There's nothing better than watching someone's eyes light up so brightly over something so small, yet so meaningful. It's just magical.
Sometimes to treat myself, I even sneak a flower without anyone knowing and I keep each one in a small box under the couch in the basement. I think if Adam saw them he'd throw it out, but I don't want him to because they're so pretty and they make me really happy.
It was yet another day spent alone at the house and I was glad today is Friday. Come tomorrow, I have my shift at the flower shop. I've been looking forward to it all week.
It was a pretty good day besides the headache that's been pulsing in my temples all day. I sent Adam a text to see if he would bring me some Tylenol at lunch but he told me I had to wait until he was finished at work. That meant my headache forming into a migraine and the only way to get rid of those is sleeping.
And hours later when I heard the basement door opening, my eyes shot open and I was instantly filled with regret.
I didn't make dinner.
I scrambled up from my position in bed, hid Mr. Snuggles under the bed because it's embarassing, and felt around for my glasses that some how ended up underneath my pillow. I don't know why I felt so anxious; maybe even a little scared. I've never not made Adam dinner before.
"I see you've been. . . Productive today." Adam spoke sharply, looking around the basement in what seemed to be disgust. It really wasn't that messy.
It was embarassing and I hate feeling that way.
"I-I'm sorry, Daddy. I wasn't feeling well today." I bit down on my lip, doing my best to avoided his harsh yet emotionless face. I have always hated calling Adam Daddy, it just doesn't feel right but he likes it so I listen. It just doesn't have the exact meaning I would have liked it to.
"It's pretty sad that I let you live here for free and you can't even clean up after yourself." He tsked. "Or make dinner."
"I didn't mean to, Daddy. I'm sorry." I wish I had the balls to tell him to screw off, but that's just not me. I hate being rude and I hate not pleasing people. Plus I don't like making him angry with me. He says some mean things when he's really mad.
"I-I have some money, let me buy dinner for us and by the time you finish showering it will be ready to go on the table." I said quickly, hoping I came up with a good enough solution.
Before Adam spoke, I couldn't even comprehend what had happened. All I felt was a sharp pain against my cheek and the blurry sight of my glasses on the floor.
For someone who is supposed to be my Daddy, he should be taking care of me. Not hurting me. Sometimes it makes me cry but I just do my best to be better for him.
I think Adam knows i'm a little which is why he makes me call him Daddy, but he isn't a very good caretaker. It makes me wonder why he's with me if he knew I was like this. Having to do all of these things on my own is hard for me.
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The next day I found myself at work with a cut on my cheek and a pair of crooked glasses. I was just thankful they didn't completely break, otherwise I'd be spending every cent I had in my bank account to fix them.
Last night Adam ate and ignored me the entire evening unless he needed me to get something for him. He doesn't like getting things for himself very often. For the good shape that he's in, he's quite lazy.
My shift went by too fast for my liking. I was dreading having to go back and hear another one of Adam's apologies. When he's extra mean to me he always apologises and spoils me with a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant the next day and it works. He treats me like i'm a prince and it sucks me back in every time.
I keep telling myself that it's better than being alone, but i'm starting to feel like that may not be true.
It was nearing eight o'clock, half an hour before my shift ended when the bell at the front door chimed, bringing a smile to my face. The bells always sound so enchanting and beautiful.
"Good evening, welcome to Daisy's! How can I help—" The words died on my tongue as I saw the tall, broad shouldered man enter the store. I adjusted my glasses and winced as they pushed against my bruise. I hissed at the sting and squeezed my eyes shut.
"Noah?" The man's smooth as silk voice called out to me. The voice I've been hearing for two consecutive years in my head. The soothing sound that I was beginning to think was nothing but a figment of my imagination.
Maybe it is. Maybe I've actually gone crazy.
"Noah, is that you?" They repeated.
With my back to him, I cleared my throat and inhaled an unsteady breath.
You can do this, Noah.
"Welcome to Daisy's, how can I assist you this evening." I spoke quietly, ensuring to keep my eyes pointed on one of the beige buttons of his jacket, far, far away from his intoxicating eyes.
"What happened to your eye, Noah?" Alek asked, attempting to sound concerned. I fought with myself to hold back an eye roll and prominently ignored his question. There was a tiny bruise on the corner of my eye from where Adams ring hit, but it doesn't hurt that bad so it's okay and very much not his concern.
"Welcome to Daisy's, how can I assist you this evening." I repeated.
I could see Alek raising his hand towards me, his thumb gently pressing underneath my chin to lift my head up.
"D-Don't touch me." I backed away with a speed so fast, you'd think I'd just put my hand on a hot stove by accident. Or got splashed with tiny sparks of grease from a pan. Those ones hurt!
"If you're planning to buy something I suggest you do it now. If not, please see yourself out."
Seeing him didn't give me the feeling I imagined it would. Infact seeing his stupid face only made me angry. I wish I could hide away under my blankets with Mr. Snuggles. I know he'd never hurt me.
"I'm sorry, do we have a problem here?"