🌷Ana🌷
My session with Nic's friend goes amazingly. No disrespect to my other therapist, but I've never experienced an hour quite like it. Everything we discussed offered release and hope for a brighter future. Dr. Racheal Becker took me on a journey of emotions, all of which have opened me up to new possibilities. We talked though what recovery might look like for me and how to recognise early signs of distress. All in all, I feel as though a weight has been lifted and—for the first time in days—I can finally breathe again.
"Well, how was it?" asks Nan, disregarding her magazine in the waiting room.
"Great!" I tell her. "I'm coming back next week."
Nan beams, no doubt picking up on the positive energy oozing from me.
"Did you ask her about Freddie?"
I link my arm through hers and nod, filling her in on what Racheal said to me only moments ago. "She doesn't think seeing Freddie again will trigger me."
"That's fantastic!" she proclaims. "I can finally get rid of you!"
I playfully nudge her hip with mine and laugh, knowing deep down she's only joking.
"I might stay the night if that's okay?" I ask. "Racheal has given me some exercises to do on my own and I think it'll be good for me to try some before I head back."
"Of course it's okay, sweetheart. I've loved having you home with me."
I match her grin.
"I think Freddie's working today anyway. I'll see if he wants to pick me up tomorrow morning."
Nan doesn't live too far away from the city, but it's a good twenty-minute drive into the countryside and I want to give Freddie plenty of notice.
"Liam's taking me out for dinner tonight. It'll be nice for you to join us."
"What! And third wheel you guys?" I ask. "I don't think so!"
"What does third wheeling mean?"
"It means I'll be sat twiddling my thumbs while you two make eyes at each other."
She giggles and it's the sweetest of sounds.
"Tell him to come earlier," I suggest. "We'll have a quick catch up and then you can go out for dinner."
"Okay."
She pulls out her phone and makes the suggestion to Liam, much faster at texting than what she used to be. I imagine she's getting lots of practice in now that she's got a boyfriend.
"Shall we go for lunch?" I suggest, pointing towards a rather quaint looking bakery.
"Absolutely!" replies Nan, practically dragging me along. "They do the best sandwiches!"
***
Liam arrives earlier than expected, two bunches of flowers in hand.
"Hi cupcake," he greets, kissing Nan on the cheek.
I swear he fires her a cheeky wink.
"Aren't you Mr. Charming tonight?" she teases, accepting the roses from him.
He smiles and while switching his attention to me, extends his arms out, offering up the tulips.
"Thanks," I say, bringing the cloud of purple up to my nose. "Tulips are my favourite."
"Your Nan said," he replies, smiling.
She takes off his coat and hangs it up bedside mine in the hallway.
"Would you like a tour?" I ask.
Liam falters. "Umm—"
"No need," insists Nan, waving me off. "He's already been here."
Oh.
"When?" I ask, making eyes at the pair of them.
"A few days ago."
I playfully whack Liam over the shoulder with my flowers, smirking. "You sly dog!"
He laughs and I swear his baritone husk fills the entire house.
"How was the wedding?" he asks, following us into the kitchen.
I tense a little, unsure how much Nan has shared with Liam regarding why I'm here and not at home.
"It was lovely!" I state, deciding to keep things light for the sake of their date night. "What have you been up to?'
"Gardening, mostly," he replies. "My tomatoes are finally looking good."
"Oh, you grow your own vegetables?" I ask, finding that really interesting. "I've always wanted to do that."
"It's not as difficult as it looks," he insists. "You just have to know what you're doing."
"Maybe you could teach me?" I suggest.
The smile that follows is blinding. "I'd love that."
Nan grins, simply watching our back and forth. In all honesty, it's the quietest I've ever seen her. Usually, she's the one driving conversation, but it seems today, she's taking a back seat.
"How's Freddie and Charlotte?" asks Liam, truly kind to include them in our chat.
"They're fine," I share.
Talking to Liam who—let's be honest—is an impartial person in all this is actually really nice. I've been nervous about seeing Freddie again, but after today's session with Rachael and now talking to Liam, I'm more excited than anything else. Perhaps even a little desperate.
"Shall we have a quick cuppa before we go?" suggests Nan, moving matters along.
I fire her my thanks and show Liam into the living room while Nan prepares our drinks.
"I've told my granddaughters about you. They can't wait to meet up."
My heart swells at the thought. "Tell me about them..."
Liam launches into an in-depth monologue about how wonderful they both are. He speaks with such fondness for both women and I truly adore that about him. His eyes light up the more he shares and by the time nan arrives with our teas, I'm as much in love with them as he is.
"I was hoping you'd join us for Sunday lunch next week?" he offers, waiting for Nan to sit down. "I usually cook for the family, and they're really excited to meet you both."
I fire a smile towards Nan.
"That would be lovely," she insists, lightly touching Liam's shoulder.
He winks.
"Bring Freddie and Charlotte too."
"That's nice of you to include them too," I say, hoping he knows how much I appreciate his need to validate my relationship with Freddie.
"Of course," he replies. "They're family."
I look to Nan and smile.
"Which reminds me," he says. "You better ask Helen to come too."
I love that Helen has also earned herself that honour.
"The women might gut me if I don't extend my offer to her."
I laugh, truly amused. "Have you met Helen?"
"I knew her back in the day," he explains, eyes fond. "She was as protective to your nan back then as she is now."
This makes me smile.
"A kind soul."
Liam continues to tell me stories about Nan and Helen and all the shit they got up to. As it turns out, Liam actually knew Helen before he met Nan. In fact, it's because of Helen how they ended up chatting one night. Nan returns the favour and shares all sorts of tales about me growing up. She even talks about Mum, which I quite like. Usually, I feel sad whenever she's brought up in conversation. Today—for some reason—I don't.
"We should get going?" suggests Liam. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"
"I'm sure," I reply, smiling. "I have some work to do anyway."
I side-eye Nan and receive a warm smile in response. I'm not sure why exactly, but there's something rather poetic about doing Racheal's exercises in the home I grew up in. I'm to dig deep into my childhood and uncover any negative emotions that I might be bottling up. I suspect I have a lot of supressed feelings surrounding Mum's death. In fact, we spoke briefly about it in our session today and I'm now starting to think I didn't handle it in the best of ways.
"Have a nice time you two!" I say, waving them off. "Home by eleven, please!"
Nan—dressed to impress—turns around and gives me the finger. I throw my head back and roar with laughter, closing the front door shortly after. I quickly shove a pizza in the oven and grab my folder from today. I lay all my sheets out on the kitchen table and organise them into categories. I then read over my notes from today, thinking long and hard about everything we discussed. I don't want to repeat what I did with my last therapist. In all honesty, I only booked a session with her because Kimberly had suggested it. As a nurse, I understood the importance of therapy after a traumatic event and being threatened with a knife by someone I cared about was definitely traumatic. But I had done it with all the wrong intentions. I did it to please others. To trick myself into believing that after two sessions, I was magically cured.
I now see the error in my ways and am determined to take full advantage of this new setup. Sure, I'm doing it for my friends and family. For my future with Freddie and Charlotte. But more importantly, I'm doing it for me. Racheal reiterated what Nic had said to me when I first came here. She told me it was okay to want to get better for others, but first and foremost, I should want to get better for me.
And I do. I want to do this for me.
I work through the first exercise while my pizza is cooking and scribble down some notes in my journal. Once it's ready, I plate up and decide to take a break from homework by blasting my favourite songs on Alexa. I'm two slices in when The Spice Girls come on and I completely abandon my need to eat, in favour of dancing instead. I must look like a demented chicken dancing around the kitchen like this, but I don't care. It feels fucking fantastic. I end up busting a few moves to two more songs and it's only when one track is transitioning into the next that I notice my phone vibrating. I attempt to accept the call but am too late in reaching it. I quickly turn the music down and reach for my phone, stomach churning at the six missed calls from Freddie. It's not like him to be so persistent unless the occasion called for it.
Shit!
I'm moments away from returning the call when his name flashes up again.
"Freddie?"
There are voices in the background, all of which sound a little too chaotic for my liking.
"Ana! Did you pick Charlotte up from nursery?"
What?
"No, I'm still at Nan's house. Why?"
He releases what sounds like a sob, making my insides recoil.
"Freddie?"
Nothing.
"Baby, talk to me."
There's rusting on the other end, followed by a sudden bout of silence.
"Someone's taken her," he replies, voice chilling. "Someone's taken Charlotte."
✨✨✨✨
Sorry, Rebecca cannot come to the phone right now. She's currently hiding from her readers! 😈
LOL.
Seriously, don't hate hate me. I'm doing this for YOU because I know y'all love a bit of DRAMA!!
Let me hear your thoughts... WHO has taken our dear Charlotte and WHY?
Speak soon,
Rebecca xo
P.S. You DO NOT want to miss this chapter in Freddie's POV! 👀