Listen To: "The Truth Untold" by BTS
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[Please, assume all conversations are in Korean]
I've never given much thought to afterlife. Having not been raised in a religious household, it was never something that was prevalent in my life. I'm not even sure how I feel about it now. Heaven and hell, good versus evil, etc but looking out at the way the sun is setting behind the fluffy white clouds as we float through the sky, I can't help but believe there has to be a higher power; a divine power of transcendent human capacity. My brain is flooded with memories of a conversation with Tae:
"Angel," he whispers against my lips.
"Baby?" I respond with a smile as I let my hips rock against his lap, knowing exactly what I'm doing.
"Angel," he repeats.
"Why do you call me that?" I ask as my fingers lace in his raven waves, pushing them behind his ear.
"Because you remind me of all that is pure and good in this world. Precious, perfect, and ethereal," he recites. Each word like a soothing linger across my aching skin, causing me to feel an overwhelming urge to kiss him breathless; do everything in my power to prove with my actions just how much I love him. "You saved me; I prayed for you and now you're here. My living, breathing Angel,"
"Are you okay El-ssi?" I hear Daehyun ask. I turn my head to look at him, confusion riddling my face. "You're crying," he points out. I bring my hand up to my face and feel the wetness on my cheeks.
"Oh, I'm sorry. No. I'm fine. I'm okay," I tell him, slightly embarrassed.
"We will be landing shortly. I have a car waiting for us and I will drive you to Yoongi-ssi's family home. From there, I will go stay at a hotel and if you need me you can let me know. I've let Hyun-Jin know we will be here for a few days and he has informed the members," he tells me. I nod and smile at him, thankful for him and how good he is at his job.
We land at Daegu International Airport and Dae quickly ushers me toward luggage claim and I wait for our bags while he goes and gets our car.
I feel a little bit nervous about being here. I love Yoongi's Eomma and i'm glad I get to spend time with her; happy to be able to have someone to talk to and confide in, especially after what happened in New York with Kat.
We still aren't sure what happened but Dae said the person standing outside was very suspicious and that combined with what Kat was saying, we knew it wasn't a safe place for us to be.
"Do you think I should reach out to Detective Lee?" I ask him.
"I think that would be a good idea. We can't pinpoint where the threat is yet. Either here in Korea or in the United States but I do think it's not a good idea to gamble with the assumption that it's only going to affect you in one country and not the other," he responds. He's right. I learned my lesson with Zane. I know that I can not sleep on things regarding my safety. So I quickly send Detective Lee an email letting him know of the incident and that I'm back in Korea and will be back home to Seoul in a couple of days.
Seoul. Home. To most people, Home is a place; a physical location that they associate with growing up. To me, home is them. Home is Seokjin's cooking when I'm starving. Home is Yoongi wrapping me in blankets when I fall asleep on the couch. Home is Namjoon rubbing my feet after a long day. Home is Hoseok bringing me coffee while I'm getting ready for the day. Home is Jimin using his blow dryer to warm up the inside of my jacket before leaving so it's not cold. Home is Taehyung dancing with me in every single room when he gets the sudden urge. Home is Jungkookie pulling me into bed every night because he 'needs me'. They've restored the air in my lungs and have given me life; a reason to wake up every morning. Home.
It doesn't take long for us to get our bags and the car and before I can succumb to the sheer exhaustion from the trip, we are pulling up outside Yoongi's parent's house; the darkness of the night now enveloping it. It's a beautiful home, quaint and sweet, exactly what I thought it'd be like. His Eomma told me Yoongi purchased this home for them a few years ago, back when 'Fake Love' really took off and he received his first, really big check. It's always been something that I've found so amazing about him; his first huge purchase wasn't anything for himself, but a home for his parents. Proves to me time and time again, that Yoongi is selfless and always put those he loves ahead of everything else.
Dae opens the door for me then we walk to the trunk to grab my bags and I hear the front door to the house open and see Yoongi's mom. She looks so precious; her dark hair shorter than the last time I saw her. She smiles at me warmly and i'm instantly drowning with emotions. I feel my eyes start to tear up.
"Go, I'll grab the things," I hear Dae say next to me. I turn away from him and make my way to her. I reach the gate and open it and she stands before me.
"내 사랑하는 딸 [my darling daughter]," she lets out and reaches for me and pulls me against her, embracing me in a way that I didn't realize I needed; a way that makes me feel safe, loved. I melt into her and let my tears fall freely. "Oh, Eomma is here," she whispers as her hand strokes the back of my head. I've never had this; this motherly relationship with anyone. My foster mom, Kat's mom, was a great caregiver, but she never really gave me the emotional support I needed so I held my walls up. It's something I've also learned about in therapy; because I was never given that emotional love where I felt safe and secure and guarded, I always assumed that people didn't want to give it to me or I wasn't worthy. Now I know that I deserve it, I need it and I want it.
"I missed you," I sob. "난 그를 많이 그리워해 [I miss him so much]" I can't even feel embarrassed as I whine like a child as the damn that's been holding all of these emotions in, finally breaks.
"I know darling, I know. Shhh, it's okay," she reassures me. "Let's go inside. You're exhausted and need to rest," she wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me into the house.
"Are you hungry darling?" She asks me as I take off my shoes and my jacket. I shake my head to let her know that food is the last thing on my mind. She smiles at me and leads me across the house and into what I assume will be the guest room but the moment I step in, I know it's not.
"This is where Yoongi-ah sleeps when he visits. I figured you'd want to be somewhere that makes you feel close to him; that soothes you and makes you feel comfortable," she tells me. I can feel him; embedded in every corner of the room. Even though he rarely spends time here, its still obvious that it's his space. The keyboard in the corner, a guitar propped against it. Crisp, dark sheets and bedding, dark curtains drawn to keep the light away. I can smell the familiar scent of his favorite tabacco vanilla candle lingering in the air. He's everywhere and it makes the ache in my heart that much more prominent.
"Thank you 어머님 [Eomeonim]," I say to her. She cups my face and pulls me up to look at her.
"You are strong. You are brave and I am so proud of you. I know that you love my son and the others and that you are doing everything you can to be the best person you can be. But never forget that we all have moments of weakness and that's okay. You don't have to be a lone soldier in the battle that is your life, my dear. You have a whole army around you now, and I'm not talking about their fans," she says with a smile. She presses a kiss to my forehead and I feel an unfamiliar feeling in my heart; it's love but it's different. It feels so much more pure, so serendipitous; like she was always meant to be my mother. The one that teaches me about patience and understanding. The one that will comfort me in times of need and hold me when I'm sad and in need of consolation. No one has ever loved me the way she does. No one has ever cared for me, assured me, coddled me, kept me safe the way she does. It's obscure and I'm unaccustomed to it but I love the feeling. She fills parts of my heart that I didn't even know were empty; she makes me feel whole. She hugs me quickly and then closes the door behind me, bidding me a goodnight.
I go into the attached bathroom and take my skincare out of my suitcase, and wash up, already feeling a bit better. I wrap the towel around my body and walk in the bedroom and open the dresser, pulling out a faded black, oversized tshirt. I pull it up to my nose and inhale deeply, his scent invading every single part of my brain and my heart.
"보고 싶어용 [I miss you]" I whisper into the fabric.
I pull it over my head and take the towel to hang in the bathroom. I walk back, grab my phone, plug it in to charge and climb into the bed. It feels as if I'm drowning in him. I think the last time he was here was in August, so it's been a few months, yet he's still present. Or maybe I just miss him so much that I'm imagining it; imaging him.
I grab my phone and scroll through the notifications. I haven't been on instagram in a while, so I swipe to the app and watch it open. I see the overwhelming amounts of notifications and I scroll through the follows. I then see I've been tagged in a few photos and go to check and see myself from the fashion show; it's bizarre. I don't even feel like that's me. I decide to be brave and look at the comments; most of them are so kind. I see a few verified fashion house accounts commented and it makes my jaw drop. The rest of the comments from netizens are very kind. Then I stumble across a couple of negative ones and I'm genuinely surprised that they don't upset me like they used to; don't make me question every moment of my existence or worth. I close out of the app and put my phone down, deciding to just let myself rest; my eyes losing it's battle with sleep.
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It's been 2 days in Daegu; 2 blissful, calm, tranquil, beautiful days. I spend the time having coffee and conversations with Yoongi's mom, helping her grocery shop, learn to cook delicious meals, and we even take long walks when the weather isn't too cold; her showing me all of Yoongi's favorite spots; the schools he went to, where he used to play basketball. The days pass by so quickly and I know I need to go home and it kills me. I have work the day after tomorrow and I can't keep avoiding my responsibilities; no matter how amazing spending time here has been. I'm also nervous... really, really nervous. I'm hoping they're ready for me to come home. So I decide to take the first step and just text the group chat:
Eleanor
Hi
Jimin
Baby!
Taehyung
Hi Angel
Jungkook
I miss you
Seokjin
There's my girl
Namjoon
My Sweet Thing
Hoseok
Hello my beautiful Princess
I await a 7th response but it doesn't arrive. I even go to make sure that he's still in the group text before the conversation continues.
Jimin
We miss you so much
Namjoon
It's been torture without you
Seokjin
But we are happy that you had some time to focus on you
Taehyung
But I'm ready for you to come home
Jungkook
Yeah, everyone is miserable without you here
Hoseok
Especially Jungkookie
Jungkook
It's not my fault that I got so used to having her around
Taehyung
Jimin has been walking around with puppy dog eyes
Jimin
I miss her, what do you expect?
Hoseok
We all missed her Jiminie
Seokjin
Are you okay El?
Eleanor
Yeah, I'm good. I was thinking...
Namjoon
Please tell us you're coming home
Jimin
Oh please
Jungkook
Ella
Seokjin
Let her speak
Hoseok
Tell us Princess
Eleanor
Would it be okay if I went home tomorrow?
Jungkook
Can you be here in 3 minutes?
Jimin
Tomorrow isn't soon enough
Taehyung
I can pick you up now
Hoseok
You seriously think you have to ask?
Eleanor
I just— I didn't want to assume you were all ready for me.
Seokjin
Of course we are. We want you here. We want you.
Namjoon
Please, come home.
I feel a slight sense of relief knowing that they want me to be there as much as I want to be there but I can't help but wonder why Yoongi isn't involved in the conversation. Did I do something to upset him? Was it all just too much for him? If that's the case, I don't blame him but my heart just can't take the loss.
I let myself flop onto the bed and I close my eyes while I let the music floating through the air envelop me; the familiar voices of the ones who own my heart:
"난 두려운 걸
I'm afraid
초라해
I'm miserable
I'm so afraid
결국엔 너도 날 또 떠나버릴까
Fearing that you, too, might leave me again in this end,
또 가면을 쓰고 널 만나러 가
yet again, I wear a mask and go to meet you
But I still want you
할 수 있는 건
All I can do is,
정원에
in the garden,
이 세상에
in this world,
예쁜 너를 닮은 꽃을 피운 다음
after I make bloom a flower that looks like the beautiful you,
니가 아는 나로 숨쉬는 것
to live as "I" that you know
But I still want you
I still want you..."
"Eleanor?" I hear my name being called and a light rap. I sigh and drop my phone on the side table, get off the bed to open the door. I see her standing there, a small black box in her hand and a smile on her pretty face.
"Come in Eomma," I say to her. She walks in and sits on the edge of the bed and then taps to me to sit next to her. I sit down and scoot closer to her, letting my head fall onto her shoulder as she wraps her arm around me and strokes my hair.
"I'm going to miss having you around. I wish you could stay longer," she tells me.
"I'm going to miss you too. Can't you just come back to Seoul and move in with us?" I ask her jokingly. I would love to have her closer, feeling like I have a piece of family at arms length.
"Apa and I being here is just more of a reason to get you and Yoongi here more often. God knows that boy needs to learn to take more breaks," she lets out with a small laugh. "Here" she says as she hands me the small box. I open the box to see a small jewelry box; a gorgeous colorful mother of pearl. I let my fingers slide along the intricate gold clasp and look up to her.
"Did I ever tell you the story of Apa and I?" She tells me and I shake my head.
"No one wanted us to be together; old, incessant feuds from generations of misunderstandings. They tried to keep us apart but we knew," she smiles as she remembers. "We knew we were meant to be together," she says.
"After many years of trying to prove to everyone just how much we wanted this life, a life together, a life of love and happiness, we were finally allowed to be married," she continues. "And this small jewelry box was a gift from my 어머님 [Eomeonim] on the day of our wedding. It felt like a peace offering, like a declaration of acceptance of me into her family and into her heart," she lets out. "And now, I want you to have it," she says and I feel the moisture begin to collect on the corners of my eyes. An heirloom; a piece of family history being passed on to me.
"Me?" I ask shakily.
"You, my dear," she continues. "Not because it symbolizes the same for you exactly, but because I want you to know that I see you here with us forever. My son loves you; you have brought out the best in him and have taught him what love is. It's all his Apa and I could ever want for him; to love someone and to be loved the way we love eachother. Your struggles together and individually are going to bring you closer together and I know that you two, all 8 of you actually, can conquer anything together. We love you so much and are so happy to have you in our family," she finishes.
I put the box on the bed behind me and I wrap her in a tight hug. I feel my face dampen with the tears streaming down my face; happy tears. Grateful tears. Completely and utterly overcome with the amount of love I feel for this woman, my 어머님 [Eomeonim].
"Okay, I'll leave you to get some rest. What time is your flight tomorrow?" She asks me.
"Not until 4 pm," I tell her.
"Good, you'll have some time to sleep in, eat some delicious food and spend time with me before you go home," she says. She gives me another squeeze, kisses my forehead and then leaves the room, closing the door behind her. I wrap the blankets tightly around me and try and think about going home to the men I love and how hopeful I am for the future; trying to avoid the worry in the pit of my stomach thinking about Min Yoongi.
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He's standing in front of me; I can see him, smell him, hear his breathing. He smiles at me and I reach out to touch him; the warmth of his skin sends a shock through my whole body.
"Baby," I hear him say.
Open your eyes El, this is a dream. Just open your eyes.
"Eleanor," he whispers and I can feel myself start to cry. This feels too real; so torturously real.
Just open your eyes and end the pain. End the hurt.
"Open your eyes Ella," he tells me. I feel myself furrow my brows under my closed eyes. I hear a scoff. "I'm right here baby. Look at me," he says.
I open my eyes, wet with tears and suck in a breath the moment my eyes find the deep, dark abyss of Yoongi's gaze. He smiles at me and brings his hand up to push my hair off my eyes and behind my ear.
"You're here?" I let out between tiny gasps, unable to fully grasp that he's in front of me. His head is laying on the pillow next to me, his dark hair fanned out around him. Looking at him, taking him in is like seeing water when I've been in the desert for so long. I bring my hands up to touch his, cupping my face; he feels strange but so familiar.
"I'm here baby," he says and then, before I can even grasp it, before I can even fully grasp that he's actually tangible, he presses his lips against mine and I feel like every single breath my lungs hold has been sucked out of me.
I don't think I've felt anything quite like this before; it's as if the whole world around me has ceased to exist and it's just him and me and nothing else. We don't even move, we just keep our lips pressed together for a few seconds and then he leans his forehead against mine and his thumbs graze my cheeks.
"Shhhh. It's okay, stop crying 자기야 [Jagiya]," he mumbles and I can't; this is unreal. I haven't even grasped how much I missed him until this very moment; this very moment in which my heart just can't take anymore.
"I missed you so much," he whispers as he pulls me into his body, hugging me tightly.
I can't even talk; I'm overwhelmed by the sheer notion of just having him holding me, feeling his body against mine. I missed him; missed this. I let my eyes fall as I take in the feeling of him breathing beneath me, the sound of his heart beating rapidly against my ear on his chest.
"Shhhh, go to sleep baby. Sleep," he instructs and I let my mind drown out everything else except for the fact that after two weeks of being apart, I finally get to be with the man I love and hoping that when I wake up, this wasn't all a dream.
————————————————————
I feel myself surrounded by warmth; my body enveloped by it, a feeling that I had been missing and longing for for a while. I open my eyes and feel my breath catch the moment I see him. He looks even more beautiful than I remember him looking. I know, I know... the DRAMA. It's not like it's been months or years but two weeks is a long time to be away from someone and I feel like I forgot about the little things; his pink, heart shaped pout, his sweet and button like nose, his flawless skin. He looks like the true definition of perfection.
I reach my hand up to his face and let my thumb graze across his cheek. He sighs and his eyes flutter open, a gummy smile spreads like fire across his face and I feel like I just jumped off an airplane and my stomach is in my throat.
"Hi," I let out, as loud as I can muster. He closes his eyes and rolls his head into my hand, grabbing it and kissing my palm.
"I missed you more than you will ever understand," he tells me, his eyes still closed.
"Look at me Yoongi," I tell him. He opens his eyes and tears fall; my heart feeling like it's breaking in two.
"I'm right here. I didn't leave you. I just— I had to get better. For me, for you, for us," I tell him. "But I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere," I finish. I lean my forehead against his and wipe the tears from his cheeks. "What are you doing here either way?" I ask him, trying to lighten the mood slightly.
"We knew you were going to New York after the runway show because Daehyun-ssi has been keeping Hyn-Jin-ssi in the loop with your whereabouts, but then we were informed that you were going to Daegu, I knew you were coming here to see Eomma. So at first, I didn't think much of it but then when Hyun-Jin told us that you left New York a day early but wouldn't say why, I knew it was something so I called my Eomma and she told me, very reluctantly when you were arriving," he says with an eye roll and I smile.
"She told me not to come right away, to give you time and to give her time with you. So, I told the others that I was going to be traveling and would be back in a few days but didn't tell them where. I'm sure they're going to be upset at me but I don't care," he says as he places a soft kiss to my lips. "I had to be with you," he finishes.
I look at him; just look at him, allowing myself to take him in. My hands move to his hair, sweeping through the dark long strands. He's beautiful, absolutely breathtaking and I love him, with so much ferocity that it is physically hard to express. But to be honest, I can't remember a time where I didn't love him; it's like he's always been a part of my heart, I just wasn't aware it was there until I found him.
"Are you ready?" He asks me.
"I think I am," I respond. He leans forward to me again and he slots his lips between mine, letting out the softest and sweetest little sound when I return his kiss.
"Let's go home baby," he whispers against my lips.
We get up from bed and he helps me start packing my things back up. We need to leave for the airport in a few hours but we head downstairs to have lunch with his parents before heading out. We eat and talk and it's wonderfully domestic and mundane but amazing and freeing. His Eomma's eyes catch mine a few times and she looks at us with such fondness and endearment. After we finish our food, I follow her to the kitchen to help clean up while Yoongi goes to grab our things to head to the airport. She sets the dishes in the sink, grabs the ones I have from my hands and then turns to look at me.
"You will call me if you need anything; if you feel overwhelmed or scared or worried. You aren't alone Eleanor, you have me," she tells me. I nod at her, trying not to cry; not to let my emotions take over. "I love you. I will come visit soon," she says as she extends her arms around me and holds me close to her.
We say our goodbyes and make promises to see each other soon and make our way to the airport. The ride doesn't take long— we take different flights home, just in case anyone recognizes Yoongi so we kiss goodbye in the car and I am anxious the whole flight home. Luckily the flight is only two hours long and before I can even miss him too much, I'm sitting in the back of our SUV with Yoongi at my side and Daehyun driving us home.
My nerves start to overpower me; anxiety wrecking havoc throughout my whole body. I feel Yoongi's hand on my knee, trying to stop my shaking.
"What's wrong baby?" He asks. I look over at him and let out a breathy exhale but I know that in this new journey of honesty and transparency, I'm willing and open to share with him how I'm feeling.
"I'm scared," I whisper as I look down at my hands in my lap.
"Of what? You know we are all excited to have you back at home, right?" He asks me as Dae pulls into the gates and drives up to our house. He turns into the driveway and stops the car, looking in the rear view mirror towards us.
"Please, give us a moment, Daehyun-ssi," Yoongi tells him with a small smile. He nods at him and gets out of the car and walks toward the house.
"Ella," he says and I focus back on him. "We all missed you so much. We knew you needed your time and we needed to work on ourselves too but that doesn't change how we feel about you," he reassures me as he slips his hand into mine.
"Yeah," I let out softly. "I believe that. I do believe that you all feel that way and I'm so grateful," I tell him. "I just— I'm worried that.. I just I hope that we can move on from this, you know? We can— I can learn and grow and we can continue to build our futures together," I tell him, being honest about my fears.
"We will never punish you or hold your need for time and space to process against you Eleanor," he begins. "We are learning and growing with you; most of us have never been in a serious relationship and none of us have never been in a relationship like this before. So we are all going through this together; there is no way we could hold you to a standard that we ourselves can't reach. We are with you— we are in this together baby," he says to me as his hand cups my jaw and brings my face up to look at him, his thumb stroking my cheek. "It's us, all of us, always," he finishes.
I lean forward and kiss him; letting every ounce of thankfulness, love, respect, admiration, and longing pour into that kiss. I question many things in life, but from today on, I will never question their love for me.
"Let's go inside; I'm sure they're sitting at the door waiting like impatient children," he says with a smirk. I unbuckle my seatbelt and he opens his door, steps out and extends his hand out to me. I slide across the leather seat, take his hand and he leads us to the door.
"Everything is going to be fine. They missed you and they love you," I repeat to myself as we get closer to the door. We reach it, Yoongi looks at me, I take a deep breath and he pushes the door open.
As soon as the door opens, every ounce of nerves and anxiety leaves my body. We walk into the living room and see them sitting around the couch. Jimin, Jungkook and Seokjin on one, Taehyung and Namjoon on another and Hoseok standing between them. They look worried, scared, sad, nervous; I accidentally let out a little exhale and I see them all turn their heads.
My eyes land on Hoseok's first and he rushes over to me. I feel Yoongi let go of my hand as he walks toward Namjoon and says his hello's. Hobi stops in front of me and it's like he's running solely on emotion; his hands come to my face and he pulls me into him and presses his lips onto mine. It takes my breath away, feeling his hands move down my body until they're at my hips and he's pulling me against him.
"I missed you Princess," he whispers against my mouth and I nudge my nose against his.
"Missed you," I reply. I feel a hand fall into mine as I'm pulled away. I turn to find myself looking up at Namjoon. He wraps his fingers into my hair and he gently pulls me up, getting on my tippy toes so that his forehead is leaning against mine.
"I felt like a part of me was gone," he whispers and I feel my fingers dig into his hips as I close my eyes and let his words sink in. "Just gone," he reiterates.
"I'm here now," I respond. He kisses me softly and I feel my whole body relax into his touch.
"Noona," I hear a small whine from behind me. I smile and turn to see Jungkook looking so small and so timid; those eyes wide and starry filled with so much hope. I link my fingers around the back of his neck and pull him tightly against me.
"Hi Bun," I say. I feel him bury his nose in my hair and breathe in.
"Please, don't leave me again," he sniffles and I stoke the back of his head. I feel hands on my hips and Jungkook reluctantly lets go of me and I am turned directly into the arms of Taehyung.
"Angel," his voice breaks in my ear and I'm taken aback. Taehyung isn't one to be overcome by his emotions so I'm caught off guard and pull away from him slightly to look at him.
"Tae," I say as I notice his eyes are glassy and wet. "I'm so sorry baby," I tell him as I let my thumbs catch any tears before they fall.
"No, don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. I just— I missed you," he says as he smiles. I hug him. I open my eyes and make contact with Jimin, standing behind Tae and I. I reach my hand out and run my fingers through his hair. Taehyung lets me go and stand in front of Jimin.
"I—" he starts but can't seem to finish his sentence, as his eyes go down to look at his hand.
"I missed you," I tell him, unable to read his reaction. Maybe he needs more time, more space. He proves me wrong by stepping to me and slipping his hands around my waist and kissing me deeply. My hands tangle in his hair and I feel like I'm dizzy.
"I love you so much," he whimpers.
"I love you," I respond as my fingers comb through his hair. He lets me go slowly and I feel a hand on my lower back turning me and I am looking up at Seokjin.
The nerves that had subsided before, are back now full force as I'm looking at him, taking in the man that I nearly broke because of my actions, I feel a wave of anxiousness roll through me. I need him to know, need him to understand how sorry I am and how I'm working hard to not let things get to be where they were before. I need him to know that I love him, irrevocably and wholly and I will fight, with every last breath in my lungs, for him and for us.
"Jin-ah," I manage to let out.
"El—" he starts.
"Hold on— may I say something first?" I ask him, knowing that before things go any further, I need to do this. He nods and smiles at me. "I'm sorry," I begin. "I'm sorry that I didn't trust you. I'm sorry that I questioned your feelings for me every chance I got. I'm sorry that I pushed you away so much. I'm sorry that I didn't know how to properly express my emotions or my feelings," I say. "I want you to know," I turn to face the others, "want you all to know that you all mean so much to me. You're the loves of my life, the ones I want to spend every second I have left on this earth with and I hope that you are able to forgive me," I finish and look back up at Seokjin. He takes a step toward me and cups my face to look at him.
"My Sweet Girl," he starts. "We love you," he states, directly and easily. "Relationships take work and ours, ours is unique and special and requires so much more than any other relationship. There are so many different aspects that we have to take into consideration," he tells me, his fingers combing through my hair, pushing it behind my shoulders gently. "We want this and you and we will work for it because we know it's worth it," he continues. "This life, you, are everything to us so let's walk through it together, yeah?" He finishes and I nod at him. He pulls me in and kisses me softly but with so much emotion and I know, in that very moment, that if we could get through this we can get through anything. We stay that way until we hear someone clear their throat. We separate and look toward the doorframe to see Hyun-Jin and Daehyun.
"El-ssi," Dae says. Seokjin put his arm around my waist and pulls me close to his body. "I think it's time we talk about what happened in New York," he finishes and I feel the knot in my stomach twist in fear.