Note: Y/D/N = your dad's name
Getting jumped and having my father's medicine stolen from me was enough to scare me into taking action. I refused to let it happen again, if not for myself then for my dad. So, I knew I had to take precautions, including hiding a dagger under my coat and actually learning how to use it.
The latter was a little more difficult to do, as I only knew one person who would even consider helping me.
"Aden," I said with a smile once I found him drinking water on the training grounds.
The young boy spotted me and immediately returned my smile, waving as I approached him. He was one of the many Nightbloods that the Commander trained – Nightbloods that would eventually fight in Conclave after the Commander's death. It was easy to befriend him as the Commander took a special interest in him, going the extra mile to train him for she believed (but would never admit) that he would be the one to succeed her after her death. With all the extra time she put in with him, I was around too and found him easy to be around and converse with, even if he was technically a child.
"Y/N, hi," he greeted warmly. "Is there something you need? That the Commander needs?"
"The Commander is in a meeting," I told him, waving my hand dismissively. She had to be, otherwise I couldn't be here. "I was actually hoping you could help me with something."
Without meaning to, my expression fell and he must have noticed as he watched me with mild concern.
"Of course," he nodded, "is everything okay?"
I told him about my 'run-in' with the street thugs a week ago, about how I needed to be able to defend myself both with and without the dagger I was now carrying at all times. My hopes were that he would teach me to use it, teach me to defend myself in case something like that ever happened again.
It was insane to ask his help, but he was the only person I knew who could fight and who would ever consider helping me. The Commander couldn't know and Aden didn't know my father so there was no way of him finding out. He was my only hope.
"Y/N, this...," he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, "this is crazy. What would the Commander say if she found out? And when would we even train?"
"She won't know," I said simply, having thought it all through. "I know her schedule, when she's in meetings, on hunts, day trips... we could work around that and around your Nightblood training. If you don't mind, that is. I just– you're the only person I could think to ask. And you don't have to say yes. It's not your problem, I know that."
He frowned, glancing at me, probably thinking about all the different ways the Commander could find out and all of the different punishments she would give us if she did. I worried he wouldn't agree, since I knew he cared greatly for her opinion, but then he released a deep breath and nodded.
"Alright," he agreed quietly. "Only because I don't want that to happen to you again."
Shoulders relaxing with relief, I smiled. "Thank you, Aden. You don't know how much I appreciate you doing this."
"We'll start tomorrow," he promised. "So, please be careful when going home tonight."
"I will," I assured him. "Again, thank you so much, Aden."
He returned my smile, nodding, and I had hopes that things might actually go well and I wouldn't have to be on edge all the time anymore.
———————————————
Aden and I trained whenever he could spare the time and whenever I was certain the Commander wasn't around to catch us. He taught me the basics, how to use my dagger and keep assailants at bay long enough for me to escape, and how to get out of a tight grip if I was surprised. It was difficult, since I wasn't a fighter and so hadn't built up the strength he had all of his life. I struggled, even after a few weeks of practicing, but even having something to fall back on if I needed to gave me the confidence to walk home every night.
The group of thugs that loitered on my route home still bothered me, sometimes making their presence known and other times being completely absent (to my relief). They kept their distance, for now, but I did worry for the time when they felt the need to approach me once more.
I was sure that Aden and I were getting away with our private training when it became evident that that wasn't the case at all and I had just been too hopeful. It was barely those few weeks of learning to defend myself when I was found out by the Commander herself.
It was yet another evening of walking home and making it quick when the harassment continued. The usual – name calling, heckling, stalking – took place, but I kept to myself and hoped they would give up like they usually did. Unfortunately, the strap of my bag was yanked backwards, forcing me to stop walking. Immediately, I spun around and pulled out my dagger, holding it up in defence.
"Woah!" they chorused with a mixture of amusement and surprise, raising their hands in the air.
"Back away and leave me alone," I warned through a clenched jaw.
One of the men snorted. "You think a tiny knife is going to stop us?"
My grip on the dagger's handle tightened as I met his gaze. I tried to appear unthreatened, knowing that Aden's training would be enough to get me out of this situation. But still... right now, with five guys staring me down? The odds weren't looking great.
"You aren't going to do a–"
Before he could reach forward to touch me, I slashed my dagger in the space before me, across his arm. He instantly cursed me and grabbed my wrist, squeezing it tightly. I attempted to change the knife into my other hand, wanting to strike him once more before running, but another of his friends grabbed my other hand. The dagger dropped to the dirt with a thump, to which they kicked away, and they had me pinned in place, making me wince.
"I don't have anything for you to take," I told them, ashamed at how quickly this had happened to me yet again. "Please, let me go."
The man gripping my wrist leaned closer, forcing me to turn my head away. "You don't tell us what to do."
I swallowed hard, figuring silence was the better option at a moment like this, when suddenly a voice spoke out of nowhere.
"I do, though."
Everybody paused, turning around but still gripping me in place, and I instantly widened my eyes when I saw none other than the Commander standing there, hand resting on her sheathed sword. What was she doing here?
"Let her go," she ordered calmly, contrasting her threatening gaze as she looked between everyone.
Snickers sounded around me, but to my surprise, the two men holding me threw me forward to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Embarrassed, I pushed myself up, only to feel the Commander grabbing my hands and helping me stand up. I didn't know what to say when she stared back at me momentarily, eyes flickering over my face briefly before she let go of my hands and focused her attention back to the thugs.
"You brought the Commander to be your bodyguard?" one of them joked, aiming his comment at me, but I stayed quiet and remained by the Commander's side.
"Do you find it amusing to gang up on an innocent civilian as she returns home after a long day?" the Commander asked, lifting a brow.
The group laughed, not the slightest bit intimidated, which I immediately knew was a big mistake. Did respect for the Commander not exist amongst them?
"How about you mind your own business and return to your throne?" one of them responded, before feigning a bow and adding, sarcastically, "Heda?"
Licking her lips, the Commander glanced up at the sky, almost bored, before looking back at the group of miscreants. "I don't usually have the time to deal with people like you. However, it seems that you have been harassing my handmaiden for a long time now. And I can't seem to let that go. For an act against her is an act against the Commander. And that is an act I do not tolerate."
All they did was laugh which, again, made me wince because judging from the Commander's twitching fingers, I knew it wouldn't end well.
"See if you can tolerate this instead, Heda," one of them responded, and in seconds, he had lunged forward with the intent of attacking her in surprise. But she was much quicker, unsheathing her sword and piercing his chest before he could touch her.
For a moment, everybody was shocked, blinking as they watched her yank her sword clean from his body. He collapsed to the ground, blood coating the dirt, dead, and then she merely twirled her sword as she looked to the rest of them.
As if snapping back to reality, they all let out a cry of defiance and tried to overwhelm her at once – one of them even using my dagger that they'd discarded. But the Commander was a storm as she fought back, barely breaking a sweat. Swift, graceful and quick, she danced circles around them all, slashing her sword and sending them to their knees one by one. I'd seen her fight, or train, but never with actual enemies, never with the odds stacked against her.
It made sense why she was the Commander, I guess.
Not even a minute had passed when four of the five were either dead or bleeding out on the ground. The remaining one was being held at the end of her bloody sword threateningly.
"If I ever see you here again, or harassing anyone else, I will not be so kind as to spare you as I am now," the Commander hissed with full venom, tilting his chin up with the tip of her sword. "Do you understand me?"
Practically crying, the injured man nodded furiously, as best as he could with a sword to the throat. "Y-y-yes, Heda."
"Good. Now leave."
Lowering her sword, she watched as he fled the scene as fast as he could, making sure he was truly gone before sighing. Wiping her sword on the shirt of the deceased, she sheathed it and glanced around before turning to me. And it was at that moment that I knew I was screwed.
"Are you hurt?" she asked monotonously, and I couldn't tell whether she was furious or agitated, or both.
"I'm fine," I answered awkwardly. "You... you followed me."
I didn't mean to sound accusatory, it was merely a statement. But she took offence anyway, the slightest lift of her eyebrow giving it away.
"You lied to me," she said sternly, green eyes piercing me, as if even the attempt of accusing her of anything was insane.
Swallowing hard, I asked, "How did you know?"
With a tense jaw, she said one word. "Aden."
I sighed quietly, closing my eyes. "Of course..."
"Do you take this route every night?" she asked, and her frustration was gone for a moment, making me open my eyes again
"I– yes. It's the only way to my village." I considered lying again, but I'd accepted I'd already lost my job, so there was no point pissing off the Commander even more.
"Very well," she acknowledged, before nodding ahead. "Lead on."
Raising my brows slightly, I looked in the direction to my home before meeting her gaze. "You, er, you can go back to the Tower. Respectfully, this isn't your concern, Commander."
Again, I couldn't read her expression as she replied, "You are my people, you work for me, so it is my concern. Now. Lead on."
I very much disagreed, but I also knew she'd just saved my life and she was still my Commander whom I couldn't disobey. So, I lowered my head and led the way forward sheepishly, hearing her follow closely behind.
Being embarrassed of where I lived was never something I had need to feel, and yet as I led the Commander through my village and to my home, I felt on edge. I wasn't sure why I cared what she thought, but I did, and I desperately hoped she would leave once she saw me reach my front door, but she didn't.
"Go on," she encouraged, nodding to the door, giving nothing away.
Pressing my lips together, I nodded and opened the door, stepping inside and making way for her to follow me in. I didn't know what she planned to do, what her thought process was here, but I played along nonetheless.
"It's just me and my dad," I explained uncomfortably, hoping to give her reason to leave. "He's sick, so he mostly stays in bed. I've got it from here though. Really, it's–"
"Y/N? Is that you?"
I turned around, surprised to see my father up and about, almost like normal. "Dad?"
"I was getting tired of that bed," he joked, before a cough rattled his body. "Thought I would have a walk around."
I smiled, momentarily forgetting the Commander's presence, and moved forward to give him a hug. "That's good, dad, but you should sit down."
"You brought the Commander home," he muttered with disbelief, and I soon remembered the brunette stood behind me. He probably recognised her from the head piece between her brows, a staple that only she had and everybody spoke of when describing her.
"Oh, yeah, right," I got out quickly, stepping back and glancing at the girl in question, who was looking around curiously. "This is–"
"My Heda! Oh, what an honour!" my dad cut me off, immediately bowing before her. He glanced at me, adding, "Y/N, bow!"
"I've already–"
But he ignored me and tugged me down, forcing me into a bow. I groaned quietly, doing as he wanted before straightening up and catching the tiniest fleck of amusement in the Commander's eyes. Well, at least one of us was enjoying ourselves.
"She was just making sure I got home safe," I told my dad, before looking to her. "I've got it from here, Heda. Thank you."
"Y/N, don't be silly!" my dad said, slapping me on the arm. He looked to the Commander with an awestruck smile. "Please, let me get you something to eat, Heda. It would be my greatest honour."
"Thank you, but that isn't necessary–"
"It won't take long," he assured her, giving her no chance to refuse.
Knowing he wouldn't let this drop, I at least tried to keep him still since he was still sick. "Dad, I'll do it, you just stay put, yeah?"
He scoffed. "I can't always let a city blacksmith do such a menial task after a hard day's work. Just take a seat, sweetie. I can do it."
I froze in place when he said what he did, knowing this was exactly what I wanted to avoid with the Commander coming to my house. He left the room to go into the kitchen, but I was too embarrassed to move a muscle.
"He doesn't know that you're my handmaiden...," the Commander realised quietly, and I could sense her genuine surprise. "Does he?"
I shook my head foolishly. "No."
She didn't respond and I still hadn't turned around to see her expression, no doubt one of judgement. I wouldn't blame her, but it certainly wasn't what I wanted from my Commander. So, I sucked up a breath and focused on leading her to the kitchen where I knew my dad would be setting out a luxurious spread.
The two of us took a seat at the dining table opposite one another. I kept a firm gaze locked on my dinner plate, too embarrassed to look anywhere else, as my dad laid out snacks for everyone. Thankfully my dad didn't notice because he was too busy rambling to the Commander about how talented I was and about my nonexistent job and everything that came with it. Hearing him gush about me to my current boss (or ex-boss at this rate) was extremely uncomfortable and I half expected the Commander to cut him off and tell him the truth. But she didn't.
To my relief and surprise, she entertained my dad's rambles, offering him a small smile here and there, some nods, a few follow up questions. She acted like the perfect guest, ate some of the food I knew was definitely not good enough for her standards, and even paid me some compliments about my work ethic which I couldn't tell if they were sarcastic or not.
By the end of it, I knew the Commander had been here longer than she needed to be, and my dad was looking tired himself. So, I brought it all to a close and hoped this would never happen again.
"Well, I think that's enough chatter for one evening," I said with all the politeness I could muster. "Dad, the Commander should get back. And you need to get back in bed. I can see you're about to drop."
He let out a crackly sigh, his chest causing him discomfort again, and when he didn't retort I knew he felt it, too. Nodding, he looked to the Commander.
"It was such a privilege to host you tonight, Heda," he said with a bowed head. "I still don't quite understand how you found yourself ensuring my daughter's safe return, but thank you."
The Commander bowed her head, too. "Thank you, Y/D/N. And I wish you a speedy recovery."
He smiled in return, leaving me to stand up and help him up. Finally looking to the Commander, I said, "I'll see you out in a moment, Heda."
She nodded, eyes watching me curiously and leaving me nervous yet again. I ignored it and helped my dad back into his room, appreciating the mini high he was on from meeting the Commander. After making sure he was okay, he practically shoved me out of his room so I wouldn't leave the Commander waiting any longer. When I left, I saw she was already waiting in the hall by the front door.
Swallowing down my nerves, I approached and led her outside, doing a final check to make sure my dad wasn't somehow listening in, before closing the door to get some privacy.
"Sorry about keeping for you so long," was the first thing I blurted out, my nerves getting the better of me. "I didn't think he'd be up, he never usually is." Still avoiding her eyes, I continued, "I know that I'm basically fired by now and I very much accept that, but–"
"Stop," she interrupted. "You aren't."
I paused, finally lifting my eyes to meet hers, confused. Why wouldn't she be firing me? I lied to her about the bruises and she basically just found out I'd lied to my father about my job. And I'd used one of her Nightbloods and convinced him to lie to her, too. Not exactly a good track record over here.
"Why does he think you're a blacksmith?" she asked in a low voice, careful for lingering ears.
Even if I wanted to stay quiet, I couldn't. Her dark eyes were fluorescent under the night sky, holding me in place and reading me like an open book. "Because I was supposed to be one. He used to be one and I was supposed to follow in his footsteps, but I couldn't actually find an apprenticeship in the city. He thinks I did though."
"Instead you work for me."
I looked away, unable to maintain her stare for much longer. "Yes... it was a high paying job and much easier for me to get. Especially because of my dad being sick. I needed the money. He obviously can't work."
She hummed in response. "And your mother?"
I wasn't sure why she was asking me all these questions, but I had to answer. "She died when I was a child. It's just my dad and I."
She didn't say anything, not for a while, and I stayed standing before her uncomfortably, wondering if I would ever understand what she was thinking.
"Why don't you stay in the Tower instead of living here?" she finally spoke, and I was certain I had misheard. "Both you and your father?"
Taken aback, I opened my mouth to say something, but there were no words.
"It will be easier for you to work if you live in the city," she elaborated, upon seeing my surprise.
After digesting what she was saying, I came to my senses and replied, "This is my home. I very much appreciate your offer, Heda, you have no idea–"
"Lexa," she interrupted, swallowing thickly. "My name is Lexa. You have been my handmaiden for a few months now. It makes sense for you to call me that."
I knew her name and she knew I knew it. Even after serving her for a few months, I was in no position to address her by her first name, and she knew that, too. So, what was she doing?
"Lexa," I tried it out carefully, feeling strange as the conversation felt much more intimate now. "Well, I am appreciative of your offer. But you owe me nothing. And I would prefer to stay here in my village with my father."
She pursed her lips, nodding in response. "I see... and what time do you leave for work tomorrow morning?"
"I, erm..."
Stupidly, I forgot what I was saying because she turned to face forward, chin held high and hands resting behind her back – this was what I dubbed her Commander stance, one she upheld when listening to messengers and subjects. I had seen it so many times before, but right now, it was very intimidating. Only when she glanced in my direction did I remember she'd asked me a question.
"Sunrise," I answered, bowing my head.
She nodded, eyes fixated ahead again. "Alright. I will send a guard by in the morning to escort you."
I shook my head instantly. "You really don't–"
"It's either that or a horse and rider," she said before I could argue.
"Heda– Lexa, neither is necessary. I am perfectly fine walking by my... by mys..." She silenced me with a stare, one that dared me to oppose her, so I merely stopped trying and nodded weakly. "Right. Thank you."
"I'll also give you the money to buy your father's medicine tomorrow," she continued nonchalantly, as if her words weren't changing my world. "Aden told me about those thugs stealing it from you."
I widened my eyes with disbelief. "You... I... are you sure? It's not your concern, Lexa. I–"
"It's what's fair," she said in a way that ended the conversation. "Your father is a good man and you're a great handmaiden. What happened to you wasn't your fault and neither of you should suffer for that."
I pressed my lips together, telling myself that it would be utterly embarrassing to cry in front of the Commander. She didn't even realise how much this meant to me, how grateful I was, and I could tell this was outside of her comfort zone just from the way she was avoiding looking at me. So, there was no point in fighting it when she'd get what she wanted anyway, and I was too desperate to decline.
"Thank you," I said softly.
Content with my response, she let her hands fall by her side and glanced up at the moon. "I'll leave you to your evening now." Just as the relief settled in, she continued, "But Y/N?"
I reluctantly met her stare. "Yes?"
Shooting me a knowing look, she warned, "Don't ever lie to me again."
Nodding quickly, I cleared my throat. "Of course. I wouldn't dare."
She bowed her head, satisfied. "See you tomorrow."
I mumbled something similar in return, still preoccupied by the fact that she was standing here with me, outside my house, not firing me. She left and I didn't wait around to make sure she was gone since I knew she could take care of herself better than I ever could. Instead, I went back inside and released a deep breath, still in shock at how this whole evening went down.
It was definitely the last thing I expected.
———————————————
When I returned to work from that moment on, I wasn't sure what to expect. The first day back, being escorted by a guard, wondering if the previous night had even happened... it was weird. Even weirder that Lexa (it was still so strange to address her by her name...) didn't bring up anything that happened, not aside from giving me the money for my dad's medicine the next morning without a word. If not for that, I would have believed last night didn't happen.
If she didn't bring it up, I certainly wasn't going to, so I continued to do my job as normal and she continued to treat me as she always did. Well, at first anyway.
Two weeks had passed since Lexa took me home and I was still being escorted by a guard to and from work. As much as I felt like a child because of it, it did make it easier and safer for me to make the journey, and those thugs (or what was left of them) were no longer a bother.
The best part of having a glorified babysitter guard was that I could finally buy medicine for my father and it not be stolen from me. The pure relief I felt when I noticed the slight change in his health was enough for me not to hate the way things had turned out.
It was after those two weeks when I noticed Lexa acting strange around me. Whereas she would usually let me do my job and that was it, she was now making an effort to speak to me. It was very out of character for her.
I had just finished setting up a bath for her one evening when I returned to her quarters to let her know.
"I can get you dinner ready for you when you've finished in there," I was saying to her as I usually did.
She nodded gratefully. "Thank you, Y/N." And when I thought she would leave to go to have her bath, she asked, "Have you eaten?"
I furrowed my brows, not sure if I'd heard her correctly because she was preoccupied by something on her desk. But then she looked up expectantly, awaiting an answer.
"Not yet," I answered hesitantly.
She hummed, looking back to the maps on her desk. "Maybe we can eat together, if you'd like."
It was said so casually that I almost didn't realise what she'd offered. Definitely out of the ordinary, it was, but I felt the need to agree.
"Sure...," I answered, before waiting for her to say something else. When she didn't, I nodded awkwardly and left to get her dinner ready for when she had her bath. And mine too, it seemed.
After she bathed that evening, I brought up a large tray with two plates and two cups to her room. Usually, she would eat in the dining room or by herself and I would do the same in the kitchens with the other staff. Never had I been invited to dine with the Commander before.
"Thank you," she said with a nod once I placed the tray on the small table by her couch and other seats. "Please, join me."
Curiously, I took a seat opposite her, our food between us. She'd just bathed, so her hair was still wet, curly and dripping over her shoulders and into her shirt. Though if it bothered her, she didn't make it obvious. It was the rarest of times like this when I saw her somewhat relaxed, without the constraints of a Commander's responsibilities. A sight that only few were entitled to witness. She wasn't as intimidating as she let on, not like this.
"I wanted to check in," she said, glancing up at me, making me realise I was staring.
Startled, and embarrassed for being caught, I looked down to my plate. "Check in?" I asked, playing dumb, because it meant I wouldn't have to look up just yet and risk being further embarrassed.
"Have you had any trouble getting home?" she asked bluntly.
It was a silly question – I knew that and I'm sure she did, too. If there had been any trouble for me, she would have been the first to know about it. I had no doubts my guard reported directly to her.
But I didn't say that.
"Not since the guard has been escorting me," I replied swiftly, finally looking up. She was already watching me with deep green eyes. "Thank you for that."
She nodded slightly. "And your father? How is his health?"
"Improving." I couldn't help but smile to myself at the thought. "I was able to get him the medicine and it's doing wonders."
She licked her lips, nodding. "That's good to hear."
Her eyes watched me for a long time, despite my squirming and discomfort. It was hard to read her thoughts, even with all the time I spent with her. Maybe it was a quality Commanders needed to do their job, or maybe it was just Lexa as a person. Either way, I couldn't hold her gaze and I didn't know what else to say.
"How long do you think you'll be working for me?" she suddenly asked, surprising me.
I raised my eyebrows slightly. "I– er– as long as you'll have me, I suppose."
"So, you're never going to try for an apprenticeship at a blacksmiths?"
Growing warm, I awkwardly responded, "I don't know. I guess I'll try to find one, but I couldn't before, as I told you."
"And then when you find one, you'll leave this role to pursue that?"
I widened my eyes with panic. "What? I– Lexa, I wouldn't just leave. I–"
"You aren't under interrogation, Y/N, relax," she assured me, lips pursed, mildly amused. "I just wanted to know if you still had the ambition."
"Of course I do," I was quick to defend, straightening up. "It's no easy task though. And I have a job here."
"So this job is stopping you from going out to find an apprenticeship?"
Again, my eyes widened. "I– no, that's– that's not what I'm saying, I–"
In a rare moment, the Commander began to smile, and that's when I realised she was teasing me. Her. Actually teasing me. I didn't know what to do.
"You don't need to worry," she assured, eyes lingering on mine with playfulness before she began to dig into her dinner. "I do wish you luck in finding something though."
I swallowed awkwardly. "Erm... thank you."
Probably sensing my nerves, she glanced at me with a nod. "You may leave if you want, Y/N. Thank you for the food."
Grateful to be relieved, I nodded and grabbed my plate and water, standing up. "No worries." I nodded. "Heda."
//
And here is chapter two! It means a lot to know you're all enjoying it so far – i've missed reading everybody's thoughts and comments! Hope you all like this one 🥰