*EDITED*
When I pulled up to Caitlyn's driveway, her mum and dad stood outside her house screaming at each other. I looked at Caitlyn and she sighed, when I stopped the car they stopped screaming. Their attention were given to my car instead. Caitlyn opened the door and walked out of the car. I didn't know what to do so I just followed her.
I looked at her parents, and they turned to me and it all hit me like yesterday. I remember them, this is not good.
Why haven't I seen it? Caitlyn looks so alike her mother.
"I really don't think I want to know what you guys are yelling for." She murmured and they looked at me when I walked up behind her, she looked at me and sighed.
"Who is this?" My mum asked and I swallowed. She looked at me with curious eyes and I looked at her with a fake smile, what else should I do?
"Not only you guys have friends, you know!" She murmured, she looked at her father and raised an eyebrow. "This is Harmon." She said fast.
Wait, what! Harmon?
I was going to correct myself when she suddenly dragged me upstairs. I just looked behind me at her parents who looked at each other, before her mother walked off.
I turned my gaze back to Caitlyn. She sat down on her bed and I stood by the door and looked at her. I looked at her face, she seemed upset about it. Her parents fighting, I've never been through those kind of fights so I wouldn't know what it would be like, However it actually made me upset too. It reminded me of my mother and father somehow, they never actually talked to each other, but they were both sure about my suffering.
For all I know she could be upset about something Else too, because I don't know her life at all. Or how she lived when she was younger, wasn't it my responsibility to find out? Because she was my girlfriend now? Perhaps I should take my time into finding out what this girl is hiding just underneath her skin?
Perhaps I will find something worth loving more, something worth all my time?
"You okay?" I asked her softly. She turned her head and looked up at me, she sighed and shook her tiny head. She was so smart though, to be so small.
"I'm just tired of them fighting all the time, that's all." She murmured and laid down in her bed. I slowly walked towards her and smiled a little. I laid down next to her small body and looked down at her.
"It's not something worth worrying for, you know. It's their life, not yours." I told her and bit my bottom lip. He hummed and looked at the roof, at the small stars glued to the world above her. I looked at her and grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly. She looked up at me and smiled weakly, she leaned into me and laid her head on my shoulder.
"Sorry, it just makes me upset." She whispered. I smiled weakly and laid my cheek against her head and closed my eyes,
"It's nothing to be sorry about," I said with closed eyes. I looked down at our hands when she squeezed it back, sending a warm feeling throughout my body.
"What is happening to my life? I could've run away if I wanted too, but I didn't and I don't know why. And you hurt me, and I should've been very angry at you, afraid of you, but I couldn't bring myself to be. And then you started to be all sweet and gently, and I-"
"Before you, my whole world was all dark. Sometimes it still is, when you're not around." I explained as I interrupted her. She looked up at me and I looked back into her eyes. "You turned the lights back on," I whispered and ran my hand down her cheek with a handsome smile. "I really didn't want to believe this shit at first either, but when I did, it was like every worry just vanished. I can admit I was a complete asshole, and I still am. But to you, I just can't help to feel so gentle and nice. It's just happening around you, never happened around anybody else." I explained and she listened to every word I said. Her eyes sparkling by every word. "I was like this before once, however, that's a long time ago," I explained, I really didn't know how to explain this love shit. I'm not good at explaining myself either, it's new for me even if I've loved someone, it's still new to me.
"What?" She simply asked and I looked at her with a weak smile, how many times do I have to tell her? I know this is my first time, but suddenly it would be a second and third.. And yeah, you understand.
"You didn't even do anything, you just made me look at you. You made me look brighter at stuff." I whispered and looked into her eyes, she blushed and looked down. I took her brown hair in my hands and ran my fingers through it.
I loved everything about her.
It took me a lot of courage to do that. I can actually thank my friend Liam for doing that, he's an old friend of mine. I've known him since I was born, and he has known me since I was born as well. He knows me better than anyone, but he didn't like the way I was turning out. So he took a pause from me, and I haven't talked to him since. But he came yesterday and cleaned up my life like always.
.
.
~Flashback~
"You can't just go around and kidnap people Harry. It doesn't solve anything, and why do you want to do that?" He asked me, his big eyebrows furrowing. He leaned over my desk and I looked at the big grown-up boy in front of me, I really didn't want to build a fight with him now.
"Because I just like it. I'm feeling alone Liam, that's why I do it. I need to find someone who can listen to me, understand me." I said simply to him.
I suck at this explaining shit.
"But you still don't need to kidnap girls, Harry!" He yelled in frustration.
Well, no I didn't need to.
"Omg, go and be a man at your age. Go party, shop drugs, go to school! You've destroyed the most of your life already, and you're not only destroying your own life." He snapped at me. I widened and raised an eyebrow.
Why does he walk into my home like a daddy, and tells me what to do?
"Just let that girl go, you don't need her Harry. And most of all, maybe she fell for you. However, she deserves someone so much better." He said calmer. "She's a normal girl, she has family and she has a future just like you have." He said.
Like that was the simplest thing on earth to say.
"She's a human. Not a damn toy to play with when you feel down." He murmured and I looked at him with an annoyed expression.
"Why do you think you can walk into my home like-"
"Home? Seriously Harry? This is a prison, a fucking prison. I can't believe that you want to live here, isn't it better to find a girl who you can find a house with an... and start a family?" He interrupted me, I looked at him and leaned back in my chair and looked down at my shoes. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed.
I had that girl.
"I just want her for god's sake," I yelled at him. He didn't look taken aback. I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "I slipped her through my fingers like..." I couldn't say it, so I just waved my hand in a simple way. "that." I murmured and he looked at me.
He seemed to be thinking hard, he sighed and sat down on my desk and thought for a long time.
"Why don't you fight for her, instead of hurting her?" Liam asked. I looked up at him and could feel the ache in my chest. "I guess she has been through hell with you already, am I right?" He asked me with a small smile. I looked down at my hands and sat up straight in my chair and looked at him.
Why should I fight for her?
Isn't she a normal girl?
Then why did I let her go?
"Well, I kidnapped her and pushed her into a car. I broke some bones in her body by pushing her down the stairs to the basement. I wrote Harry on her wrist, so people would see she belonged to me, and I tied her up in a bed with ropes stretching." I said and whispered the last part. He looked at me with a huge grin on his face.
Why is he smiling like that?
I hurt her and kidnapped her. And he is smiling like a fool, he sighed and stood up. He walked around my desk and stood beside me and looked down at me.
"Styles you can better than that, Why didn't you choose anything better than a car. It's so normal..." He laughed low, but he went back to normal again and looked at me with his big brown eyes. I couldn't read them, because Liam is good to hide secrets.
"Then go and get that girl. Fight for her, kidnap her, love her, get her to understand you. Cause you'll need it, Harry, don't push her around. Treat her like she's your best friend." He explained, he smiled weakly and I bit my lip.
But what does it feel like to have a best friend?
What happens if she doesn't allow me to come back?
"So you want me to keep my attention on her?" I asked simply, he looked at me and smiled weakly. He turned my chair around and grinned before he ruffled my hair and grinned like a fool.
"You understood it, Harry!" He laughed and smiled happily. I sighed and closed my eyes.
So I let this part of me go?
Because I have Caitlyn?
Do I really like her that much?
"No, I love her that much.." I corrected myself in a whisper.
Fuck how does she do it? Just like a punch in the face and I fell for her. Just like a slap to my cheek and I'm all gentle and nice, just for her.
There's seriously something wrong with me.