"Akshara I... I want to.... I"
Abhimanyu paused and gulped few times before starting.
"Akshara I know I've done wrong. And I'm sorry. I'll ask for sorry till the end of my life.. I don't know what happened to me on that day, I don't know why I thought breaking up would be a solution. But I was so worried about that award and my job. I couldn't figure out what to do and how. And at that lament, I thought may be our relationship is the main problem."
"Abhimanyu I don't want to hear all this" - Akshara said looking away from him and was about to get up and walk away when Abhimanyu held her hand and make her sit again.
"Please for the last time, listen to me. Just like everytkme you did. After this, I'll do what you want me to. But please one more time , please"
He begged her to listen to him for the last time and how she'd say no now.
She can't.
For the first time ever, she's seeing concern, regret, guilt, worry, pain, tension, stress in his eyes.
And one more thing.
Love.
She's seeing love for her in his eyes which she don't want to see.
The love which she don't want to believe.
She don't want to be fooled again.
And she won't.
But she can't deny his eyes.
That can't be fake.
His concern that she's seeing in his eyes can't be fake or can't be show off.
The guilt in his eyes is clearly killing him inside.
She can see that. She can feel that.
He's in pain. Just like her.
He's regretting for what he's done.
So she decided to give him a chance to talk.
A last chance.
"Okay Abhimanyu. But remember this is the last chance" - She said.
"Yes" - He whispered.
He took a deep breathe and blew some air from his mouth and started.
"When you left 7months ago, I tried to contact but When I came to know even you left the university and city, I thought may be you wanted space and time, and I decided to give you that and decided not to contact to you anymore."
He paused and cupped her face.
"Look at me please."
She looked at him with a teary eyes.
"And guess what? I was wrong.. I was wrong akshara. When you needed me the most, I thought you don't. Today, when you said I'm your strength, it felt like... I don't know how to explain the feeling. I've never imagined that someone would consider me as her strength. And I broke her strength. Left her without giving her the strength. But she's the strongest. Strongest I've ever seen." - He said crying.
Akshara is shocked at his words and don't know what to say.
When she was about to open her mouth, he put fingers on her lips and asked her to stay quiet as he's not finished yet and if he can't finish today, he would never be able to say this again.
"Akshara, you are right. I never loved you. Still I can't say I love you and I am not saying. But.... but I want to fell in love with you. With you" - He touched his forehead with her telling her how much he wants to fell in love with you by his touch.
She is speechless.
She don't know how to explain the feeling.
It felt like someone stabbed a knife on her chest.
He wants to fell in love with her.
When she wanted this, he wasn't there.
Now he's saying he wants to.
But how she's gonna believe his words ???
"Akshara I don't know what love is. I don't know how it feels like when you're in love. I don't know how it feels like when you love someone. But i definitely know how it feels like when someone loves you. Because you gave me that. You're making me feel what it feels like to be loved by someone. By you. And this is the best feeling ever. Trust me. And I....."
Again he cupped her face, wiped her tears and tucked the strands of hair behind her ear.
"I want to make you feel the same. I want to make you feel how it feels like to be loved by someone. "
A drop tear fell from Akshara eyes.
Is it real ??
Is it really happening what she's seeing right in front of her eyes ??
How she's gonna say no to him now.
She can't.
She's falling weak.
She can't reject him now.
Abhimanyus further words broke her thoughts and she looked at his eyes.
"I want to love you. I want to make you special. I want to make our family the happiest. I want to give (He placed his hand on her belly) our baby the best life." - He smiled looking at her belly.
"You know when I first saw you at the cafe, I got shocked after seeing you after so long time that too here. Then I saw you being pregnant, my life, my whole world turned upside down. I..... guilt started eating me. I.... that moment, it felt like I am the worst and for me you're going through this. You're going through the worst while it should be the happiest phase of your life. "
He paused for a moment and gulped.
"Then I decided I'll win you back. I went inside the cafe but you weren't there. You were gone already. I searched everything around the cafe but you were nowhere to be seen. I asked the staffs about your whereabouts but they were not ready to give me uour Information. Then you know I somehow managed to get your address from them and then straight I came here. "
"And. After coming here, I saw your apartment is locked and there I thought may be uoull come. But whole waiting, I fell asleep at the door and then when you didn't returned and it was so late, my heart started beating fast and worst thoughts started coming into my minds. Then I went searching for you and there, there I found you. In my arms. Just like before" - He whispered.
"Abh....."
He shook his head in a no telling her to let him finish.
"You were having problem in your breathe, you were having panic attacks, and I'd never seen you before like this. I don't even know you gets panic attacks. I was so worst. As a boyfriend as well as a human being. "
"No..ab..."
"Let me please. The guilt is killing me. I swear I'll be silent after I finish"
"Akshara, when I got to know you're pregnant, when I saw your bump, you were right, no father can do it. And I also.. I'm also a father. I can't believe it (He chuckled). I'm a father now. I'll have a baby soon. But .... I.... idont know whether you'll accept me again or not. But I'll be always with you and our baby. Always. And I will never leave you again. Never. I promise. "
"Akshara, you, I mean you know I don't want anything right now. I just want you. Back in my life. Please. I'm begging. I'll try to make everything better. I'm so sorry. And I'll be sorry till my last breathe. But please give me one more chance. One more chance to prove myself. To prove I can be better. I can love uou. I want to. I want to love you. Please."
His confession brought tears in her eyes and she don't know what to say.
She's speechless.
She's numb.
She's mute.
She never expected this.
She never expected Abhimanyu. Her Abhimanyu will beg for love.
And she can't reject him.
Not anymore.
She can reject him. The man who asked her to leave.
But she can't reject the man who's begging for her love.
She can't reject the man whom she loves.
She can't reject the man whose eyes are reflecting every words and whose eyes are saying every word which he just said is true.
She can't reject the father of her child.
Their child.
The child who also needs a father.
The child she wants to grow up with both mother and father.
So she can't reject him.
But her alter ego is asking her to reject the man who's sitting on his knees in front of her holding her hand with tears in his eyes.
Her alter ego mocking her by saying how can she trust him again?? Who can't think about anything else except his own happiness.
But his eyes.
Those Hazel brown eyes.
Those Hazel brown eyes are saying something or showing something which Akshara is seeing for the first time.
And she wanna believe it.
Believe his eyes.
"Abhimanyu Utho...." - She whispered.
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Another update!!!!
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