I'm afraid I don't understand many things but being certain and not understanding are two completely different concepts. A reason to live in this cold world where a mother is careless about her child and someone is sick and dying? A reason to live in a place where there is absolutely no one you can relate to, where no one provides comfort, where there is none, it seems? It's like that. Isn't it?
But why should it be?
Why can't we wake up in the early morning and enjoy the fresh air as it is? It kind of tickles the back of your throat, when I remember. When silence is all. When there is no one but you and Mother Earth. And how can you ever think that we are a bunch of chemical processes with no souls? We have them. People aren't original enough to come up with them in that way. Even dragons exist. Lizards combined with fire inspired from a hot, dusty day in the Sahara. It must've been more than easy. Even fairies make sense. Trolls. Giants. Oh yes. They exist. But we don't see them for what we say they are, rather like souls. It is a most precious form of energy I believe, belonging to us simply due to the fact that we are where we are, and we can learn, and we dress and know of what is right and wrong, and because we get embarrassed at times. And why does it belong to my body? Why in me? Why do I feel? Why can't I be satisfied with my basic needs like all the other animals are if I am only just an animal? And why has it never come to a point where a whole species of animals threatened to destroy us, Homo sapiens? Oh, but wait. They belong to this Earth. We only destroy it. So where are we from? Why are we here?
And then why is this life important? I find it a huge goal to simply live to make others smile. They say it is a form of charity. You know, your body releases seratonin when you smile. Immediately, you are in a state of subtle happiness. See. Charity. Why charity? Why should I be good then? What is it that I want? I can't find it. Where is it? Everything annoys me and I keep running away but from what, who and why? I know I don't want to.
But I don't know anything. I don't know the point of living. And what if the afterlife is really just another life where it's like a level two in a video game and I have given up on level one already? What if there really is this thing called not being ready? Is anyone ever ready?
Why yes. There must be. It can't all end here. All these questions wouldn't exist if it did. How can you not see this now? Or are your hearts already blind?