Never before has Reela been so fucking happy to see that fat orange lump that Regan calls a 'cat.' She knew that Regan had taken Romeow with him when he left, because he never goes anywhere without him. But she can't believe she never stopped to wonder where the cat was amidst all of this.
She races over to the table where Romeow is laying, and at first she smiles down at him, but it slowly fades when he doesn't get up or move. His eyes are open, but empty.
Fear twists into Reela's face as she shakily rests her hand on the cat's side. As she's feeling for either a pulse or breathing, Jules sighs and steps up beside her, gently brushing her hand over her back.
"He's alive, but..." she shakes her head. Reela feels Romeow's chest slowly rising and falling and there's a faint pulse of his EPC, but he still doesn't move. He blinks a little every now and then, but that's it.
Reela runs her hand up to scratch the back of his head, but he doesn't respond to her touch with anything more than a blink. Before she can let her eyes tear up too much at seeing Romeow like this, she quickly turns her searching gaze to Jules, hoping the find instant answers by just meeting her eyes.
"Why is he... like this?" she shudders and Corb walks around the table to stare down at Romeow as well. Jules crosses her arms and sighs mournfully.
"Short answer; I don't know," she shakes her head again. "Long answer... The more painful one to think about..." she steps over to lean forward on the end of the table. "This must be the same state that Regan is in, wherever he is... Not dead, but..." her eyes gloss over as she stares at the emptiness in Romeow's eyes. "...a husk."
Corb winces and steps back, scratching his neck. "Shit... I don't know about you, but that almost sounds worse. I think I'd prefer to be dead."
Reela stares at Romeow and her heart begins trying to break out of her chest. The thought of Regan – wherever he may be – being in the same state that Romeow is in makes her want to close her eyes and pray that when she opens them, she'll wake up from this nightmare.
But she can't close her eyes. If she does, she might accidentally picture her dad with the same vacant eyes as his soul-bound cat.
"...How did you find him?" Reela blinks faster and quietly sniffles, letting her know that she should probably look away from Romeow again to find out what plan Jules has that is going to let them fix all of this.
Jules meekly chuckles. "Technically, I didn't. This was what I meant when I said I gave my brother an out, but he wasted it... I gave him the shard, but..."
Corb holds up his hand. "He gave it to the cat! Final answer," he states proudly and crosses his arms. Jules flashes him a deadpan glare.
"Very good, Corb," she sighs and looks at Reela. "Judging by the shaken state he was in when he appeared at my door a couple weeks ago, I'm guessing Regan sent him off with the shard in a panic. A last minute decision," she says.
Reela slowly nods and wipes the few tears from her eyes. She can have a cry about all of this later. Right now, she needs to focus on figuring out what happened and what to do about it. "A couple weeks ago was when the shipwreck happened," she adds. "If the ship was under attack, that seems like a cause for panic to me."
Corb shrugs and both Reela and Jules can see how hard he's trying to enter serious-mode. Todo is easily the better one for eloquence and decisive thinking when it's needed, but Todo isn't himself right now so that leaves Corb to try his best to keep up on his own.
"But... why wouldn't he have used the shard for himself? Why send the furball away?" he questions and Reela softly chuckles.
"I'm guessing because Regan knew the ship would be attacked and wasn't just going to abandon Naomi and Nisha," she says and swallows back the lump in her throat. If only Regan weren't such a decent person who actually cares about his friends. Naomi and Nisha survived the wreck and they weren't taken while they were unconscious on the shore. If Regan had used the shard for himself, he wouldn't have been there when whoever attacked them came looking for him.
Jules picks at her lips with her teeth as she thinks. "The cat was fine, at first. As I said, shaken up but otherwise okay. But he slowly started getting more sluggish and weak and he even started collapsing as he walked. At first I thought it was just because he's old, but then I remembered he's synthetic. So all of his problems are Regan problems," she says.
"So whatever happened to Regan was gradual," Reela affirms. "Something was draining him."
Jules nods once in confirmation. "Seems that way."
Reela goes back to examining the cat and has to tell her emotions to fuck off for a second so she can think. Assuming Regan sent Romeow to Jules after he saw that the ship would be under attack, he must have had a reason. Some kind of desperate plan in the heat of the moment.
She takes a deep breath and steps back. "Okay. If we're going to figure out what happened, we need to think like Regan," she states and holds out her hands. "So... Say we're on a ship, minding our own business, Nisha is steering, and Naomi..."
Corb gasps and holds up his hand. "Oh! I know this one! Naomi was drunk!" he exclaims happily. "She likes to get drunk."
Reela claps with a smile. "Good! Nisha's steering the ship, Naomi is drinking and/or drunk, so that leaves Regan..."
Jules snickers. "Regan loves the sea. When he was four, he really wanted to be a pirate until he realized it would be scary," she snorts and rolls her eyes. "He'd be on deck, writing probably."
Reela slowly nods as she starts painting the mental image in her head. "If Regan was writing and Naomi was drinking, then Nisha would have to have been the one to notice another ship," she states. Nisha's been a pirate for years and along with that, she was a spy for Varagores. She would have recognized the flags and known what they meant. She must have known that if a Varagores ship was headed their way, it would have been for a fight.
"Nisha would have seen the danger approaching and..." she tries to think harder. What would Nisha have done?
Corb clicks his tongue. "Not sure if this helps, but I remember after Aramora was blown up, Todo and me were on a ship with Naomi, Nisha and the old man, Malachi. While we were aimlessly sailing, waiting for the barrier thingy to break, there was a rough storm at one point and Nisha told me and Todo to hide below deck," he throws in and Reela smiles at him.
"Perfect! Regan's basically a toddler when it comes to danger, so Nisha would have had him do the same thing. So, if Regan was hiding below deck while Nisha was probably trying to evade the other ship... He must have had time to prepare for the attack," Reela purses her lips and steps back over to the table and Romeow and she looks at Jules. "He sent Romeow to you with the shard... But he must have known that Romeow wouldn't be able to tell you what happened..." she taps the table as she thinks.
If Regan had been writing on deck, that would've meant he had a pen and paper on hand when everything went to shit.
Reela looks down at the cat again and starts feeling around his neck and the bowtie he's been condemned to wear for all of his eternal life. She doesn't feel anything so she moves to his stomach, checking if maybe something's hidden within his fat orange glory. Nothing.
Corb clears his throat and steps closer to the table as well. "What, uh... Whatcha doin' there, Re?"
Reela looks up at him. "I'm checking if Regan left a note or something for Jules," she says and resumes searching, and Corb frowns at his intrusive thoughts before he grabs the cat's tail and peeks at the ass.
"Found it!" Reela gasps with a smile after she had opened Romeow's mouth, and Corb immediately dropped the tail to focus on her. She sticks her fingers into Romeow's mouth, hoping to Mazenya that he doesn't suddenly decide to regain sentience just in time to bite her fingers off.
She reaches far enough that she's able to pinch the tightly folded slip of paper and she carefully pulls it out and gently closes Romeow's mouth again, giving him a tender scratch behind his ears in apology, despite knowing that gestures mean nothing to this cat. It's carnage or scorn, no in-between.
Jules rushes over as Reela shakily starts unfolding the paper and she catches her wrist. "Reela, wait," she stops her and Reela almost doesn't hear her. She can't believe she was right. Regan left a note. In this note are the last words Regan must have written before the ship was attacked.
Reela looks up at Jules in question, but it's hard to see her face with the tears clinging to her eyelashes making her vision blur. "W... What...?"
Jules takes a slow deep breath and rests her other hand on Reela's shoulder. "I just..." she swallows back tears of her own. "...Would you mind if I read it...? If maybe he said anything about... our fight... I..." she clears her throat and blinks back her tears.
Reela shakily nods. She guesses it's only fair, considering this is the note that Regan had sent for Jules. And honestly, Reela doesn't think she'll be able to read it for herself without becoming a sobbing, snotty mess of tears and pent-up daddy issues.
She passes the note off to Jules, who picks up where Reela left off on unfolding it. Reela crosses her arms, or more so hugs herself to suppress her trembling as she watches Jules read the note in silence. As she reads, she takes a few moments to stop and wipe the tears from her eyes so she can see the words again.
Corb silently walks over to Reela and rests his hand on her shoulder. She glances up at him and he shows her a small smile that she wishes she could return. Instead, she reaches up to grab his hand on her shoulder before she returns her undivided, somewhat gut-wrenchingly terrified attention back to Jules as she finishes reading and covers her mouth and closes her eyes.
"...Regan, you fucking idiot..." she barely manages to whisper as she starts to cry.
Reela takes an uncertain step forward, feeling that terror increase. What could be in that note that has hit Jules so hard that she can hardly speak?
"...Auntie Jules...?"
Jules shakily steps back to the table and nearly collapses into it, placing her hands flat on the surface and dropping the note beside her with her head low as she cries. Reela rushes over to wrap an arm around her, resting her head on her shoulder but all while staring down at the note. She can't make any of it out with her blurred vision, but all she can tell is that it's definitely Regan's handwriting.
She stands with her for a few minutes, just silently letting Jules cry to herself before she straightens herself up a bit and looks away. Her eyes are still heavy with tears and she's still trembling from just standing there.
Jules tries to breathe but it just comes out as a shudder. "You... You can read it, Reela, just... a warning..." she shakily holds Reela by her shoulders. "...There's nothing that'll help us find him..." she whispers and reaches up to hold Reela's face, softly rubbing her thumbs across her cheeks before she pulls her over to give her a kiss on the forehead. "I... I need some air. I'll... be outside..." she looks away and struggles to move, but she manages to reach the stairs and leave the basement in a hurry.
Leaving Reela with nothing to do now but read the note.
She takes a few deep breaths and tries to clear her vision enough to be able to read. Just reaching for the paper just about sends her sobbing again, so she gives herself this moment to prepare.
The fact that Jules says there's nothing in the note that will help them get an idea of where he might be is worrying. Not just for the fact that that means they have no lead, but for the potential reasoning behind it.
If Regan wrote a letter before the ship was attacked that wasn't to tell Jules how to help him, that means he didn't expect to be alive to help at all.
Her knees feel weak so she quickly grabs the note before dropping to sit on the ground. She can't do this while standing. She's not as strong as Jules. Corb just stands by the table in silence as he watches her look at the paper.
Now that she's seeing it more clearly, the handwriting is Regan's, but messier. This was written with a trembling hand.
Much like the ones now holding it.
She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath, and starts to read.
__________________
"Jules, I don't know how much time I have to write this before they reach us. I'll try and keep it brief, but you know me. When have I ever been able to be 'brief' with words? If it makes you feel better, you can read between the lines."
"The cannons just fired when I came down here. Nisha says we're going to try to outrun them, but they're moving quickly. I don't know who exactly they are. Maybe it's Varagores. Maybe it's him. Who knows? Maybe it's just another smuggler ship looking to take what we have on board. Already, I have so many questions but for the first time in my life, I'm afraid I won't have enough time to answer them all."
"I guess I should get to the point. There's no reason to speculate anymore."
"I think you know it already, but I'm going to say it anyway. I'm so sorry, Jules. For everything I said. I was angry. I was scared. I wasn't thinking clearly enough to see that as terrible as your deal was, I know that all you were really trying to do was protect me."
"And I pushed you away before giving you a chance."
"I don't hate you, Jules. I love you. And I am sorry. I'm so sorry."
"...That was the second cannon. They're getting louder. Hurry—"
"I know I don't deserve it after the things I said. But Jules... I need one last favor from you."
"Please... bring this letter to my family. I don't want to leave so much unsaid."
__________________
"Ty... Cree, my love."
"I know that I've made mistakes. We both have. But no matter what we've said and haven't said, I've never once doubted it when you said you loved me. I know it was never easy. And I hope you know that I meant it every single time I said it, and every single time I've woken up next to you that I love you with all of my heart. And I'm just happy I got to spend the rest of my life with you."
"And I am so sorry that I can't give you the same."
"After everything we've been through, since the day we met; when you heroically came to my rescue as my knight in t-shirt and cargo pants. My love has only continued to grow. First infatuation, and now..."
"Us."
"It's us. It was always us. Through everything. When I had lost you to Anneliese Corbin ten years ago, I didn't think I could keep going without you. I almost didn't. I almost gave up on everything just to see you again. But you came back to me in the end."
"And I wish—"
"I wish I could come back to you too."
"I know you're strong. And smarter than you give yourself credit for. And I know that you are the father Reela truly needs and deserves. And I know that you will continue to be that for her."
"No matter what happens. Never doubt my love for you."
"I only hope it has helped you remember how to love yourself."
__________________
"And... Reela."
"...How do I still not know what to say? I've had all this time to think about it, but still..."
"Happy birthday, sweetheart. I know it's probably a bit late by the time you see this, if ever, but... I should have been there to say it in person."
"...I'm sorry."
"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I should have realized what I was doing sooner. I should have realized my own mistake and seen how much I had been hurting you when all I ever wanted was to keep you safe. But I've never been good at protecting anyone. But I tried. I tried so hard to be the father you needed, but I was the one who hurt you in the end."
"Reela, you are not a prize. You are not an object to keep on a shelf. You are meant to be free to choose your own life. You are meant to be the strong, intelligent, free spirited woman you have always wanted to be. That, in your heart, you have been all this time since the moment Cree and I found you."
"I only wish I had been there to see my little girl grow up."
"That reminds me. I can hear more cannons so I have to hurry. There's not much time left."
"Your gift. I'm assuming Cree has already given it to you. I think it goes without saying how much that sword means to me. The woman it once belonged to was someone I loved like a sister. Even if she could never hear me say it."
"Madhavi Hassan was strong. Funny. Smart. She was passionate and clever and nothing made me happier than seeing her smile as she danced to songs she couldn't hear. But she didn't let that stop her from enjoying every moment of it. She was beautiful. I can still see her face when I close my eyes, even after eleven years. Her eyes were blue as ice. Cold, until given a reason to warm. Her long white hair, like the snow. I remember all the times I tried to braid her hair and feared for my life."
"Reela, I've held on to that sword for so long because I guess a part of me didn't want to admit what I was beginning to realize. I don't think I was ever truly ready to admit my little girl was all grown up. But you are."
"And I've realized how much of Madhavi I see in you."
"Which brings me to my second gift."
"Toya."
"I spent so long struggling to decide who to base her personality on. But when it came to me, I felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner."
"Madhavi was always there for me, so now, in a way, maybe she can be for you too."
"Reela. Whatever fights we've had. Whatever regrettable things we've both said. None of it matters to me. Nothing you've ever said or done has made me love you any less. I love you more with every day that you are my daughter, and every day you let me be your father."
"I should have said goodbye when I still had the—"
__________________
The words cut off with a line of ink that runs off the page.
Reela just sits there long after she has finished reading. She stares at the paper with blank eyes. Not even the words anymore. Just the paper.
She didn't even notice when Corb came over to sit at her side as she was reading.
Her mind hardly registers it when she feels her bag rustle and Toya climbs out and down to curl up in her lap. Reela absently starts stroking her soft fur after she sets the paper down and stares at the fox.
Everything around her gets lost in the blur of her tears that still sting her dry eyes. As she blinks them away, her mind tricks her. Or maybe her heart. It doesn't matter.
The hand she's petting Toya with is smaller. She's smaller. She's sitting on a counter in a bright room.
And she's crying.
But Regan's holding her, so she feels safe.
She remembers that moment. It was in Fulminare. She had just met Jewel, the medic for the Old-World Coalition. She just met Toya. Regan came to find her.
Jewel assumed Regan was her father.
And that was the moment they both decided that he was.
No.
He is.