"Where's Kid?" You ask, walking away as Decken lays in the mud behind you. Law looks at you as he walks by and heads over to Decken. To look after him or bury him you're not sure, and you're too distracted at this point to care.
"Good," Killer says over the comms as a flare goes into the air. "Just stuck. He barricaded himself and then got buried by the mud and plaster. His earpiece works, but his mic overloaded cause of his devil fruit. He's banging on the metal to communicate with us."
"I'm on my way."
"Hey... is he?" Killer prompts.
You look over your shoulder and see Law keeping your sword away from Decken. "He's alive despite his wishes. The doc's keeping him company for now."
"You really gonna keep him like that?"
"Handless and alive? Yeah. Well, I mean, I can't stop him from deciding to bite his tongue off or something, but I don't think he should get what he wants." You admit. You can feel apathy and exhaustion sinking into your body. "Killer... is there something wrong with me?"
"Huh?"
"... I should feel bad, shouldn't I?" You're trudging closer to the others as you speak, but it's slow going, and some of that is the fear that everyone will look at you like an abomination.
"Who's to say?" Killer answers. "How you feel is how you feel, and what's more important than that is how you cope with it going forward. I – we – can all sit here and tell you it's okay, but you're going to have to sort that out on your own for yourself."
"Yeah... that makes sense." You admit dragging yourself the rest of the way over to them in silence.
It wasn't long after you reached the others that they managed to find the beginnings of Eustass' metal barrier. Killer kicked the metal hard enough to dent it, and after a couple heavy kicks it split enough to allow light from Hip's phone to give Kid some light. Once he knew where the safe place was to shift things the mound of mud and plaster shifted as the shell opened enough for him to get out.
Aside from a few scrapes, bruises and some mud, Kid was unharmed.
He took off the communication collar and earpiece as he walked over to you. He just stood in front of you looking at you for a minute before you removed your comms and earpiece as well.
"How're you feeling, Mouse?" He asks. There's something in his expression that twists your heart, and it's the first thing you've felt since you walked away from Decken.
Your hot rage is gone, it stomped Decken into the mud while you screamed. There's no cold anger, it held your stomach in place as you removed his hands. There's no fear left in you, the hands that clawed at your nightmares are decomposing in the mud. There's no compassion left in you, it healed a man you never wanted to touch again.
There was no relief left in you, Eustass was alive and unharmed. Everything was okay. You survived, and he survived, and the crew survived, and no one died because of your problem. No one died. Everything was okay. You're okay. You have to be okay, it's over, everyone's safe, you're okay.
You just need to say it.
"I..." Hot biting tears sting your eyes and constrict your throat. You look at your hands as though you expect them to be covered in blood, or bugs, or something revolting. How could you reach out to him like this? "I..." You can't force the words out, you're not even sure what words there are to speak, but the red hot tears cut deep lines in your face.
Deeper lines in your heart.
Eustass kneels in the mud, and you want to tell him to stop or he'll get dirty too, and you can't say the words fast enough before one strong, trembling, warm arm wraps around you and pulls you close. The gesture makes you choke on the heavy tears, but the soft voice in your ear causes you to cling to him and wail into his shoulder.
"I'm sorry."
.
.
.
.
.
.
You were sitting in Eustass' workshop, cross-legged in an oversized chair and sipping some tea while you watched him work.
You'd cried yourself voiceless at the end of the raid, and the whole time Kid just held you. He didn't try and calm your tears, he didn't say or do anything else for the long moments you bawled into his shoulder. He just held you with his right arm quietly, and eventually carried you off the hilltop while everyone else did whatever else they were supposed to do.
At some point you must've fallen asleep, and when you woke up you found yourself bundled up in blankets and set on pillows. You were like a little bird in a nest curled up in the oversized chair you were now sitting in. You had been cleaned up and dressed in fresh clothes, a set of unisex scrubs from the clean room process.
Eustass had been working on stuff when you woke up, just as he was now. He had stopped long enough to help you get comfortable sitting upright, and had handed you a breakfast bar and the cup of tea before he ruffled your hair and turned back to what he had been working on. His expression had been fairly neutral, but he didn't look angry or irritated.
If anything, it looked like he was trying to give you space without leaving you alone.
After a few more moments, you set the teacup down and got out of the oversized chair. You're surprised to realize that your bare feet are touching the concrete floor, and looking around a little you realize the shop is even cleaner than usual. You don't see your shoes anywhere nearby, and so you continued over to Eustass. You climbed onto the bench seat, putting your arms on the work table and resting your head on your arms. The whole set up was customized for Kid, so it was a bit big for you, but you weren't uncomfortable.
"Hey." You say softly, looking up at him.
Eustass' head turns toward you. His eyes and smile are gentle, and his voice is almost as soft as yours. "Hey."
"Whatcha doin'?" You ask as he turns back to what he's working on.
"Woodworking." He answers, moving in a way that keeps your view blocked from what he's working on.
"Super secret project?" You question, a small smile playing at the edges of your lips.
"Super secret." He replies with a small grin.
"You can tell me, I won't tell Killer you're making him a gift." You say as your hand reaches for him. You stop short of touching him, but he notices the motion.
Kid shuffles some stuff around and you realize he's tucking things away on the work bench. After he's done he slouches on the bench a little and reaches his right hand out to you, twisting at his waist enough to reach where your hand had been a moment earlier.
You look at his hands, rough fingers covered in bits of wood, tips red from what he was working on. Light freckles dappled his pale skin, they were almost invisible from any other distance. Fine, fire red hairs, so close to the color of flames that it was almost impossible to see them, danced up his arm. Small details, but important ones – beautiful ones.
You ran your fingers over his arm, watching the barely-there fiery hairs shift beneath your finger tips as you moved toward his hand, your head still resting on your left arm. You started to move your fingers away, but after a moment's hesitation, you stretched your fingers out and ran your fingers over his knuckles softly.
The warmth from the light touch was almost too much. You didn't realize how cold you felt until then.
Eustass looks at his hand and yours, and then looks to your eyes until your gaze shifts up to meet his.
"Feel better?"
You nod, letting the weight of your hand rest on his, tangling your fingers through his. Tears start to well up in your eyes again, but you shake your head and wipe them away.
"Little cold, honestly."
"Gonna let me warm you up?" He asks, dipping his head down a little to catch your gaze again. There's that soft expression, a little bit of a worry, an unsure smile, and a lot of love a little further back.
"I'm... I mean..." You bite your bottom lip and swallow back the emotions. "Can I – can I still say that I love you?"
"Do you still?" He asks, and you nod, even though you're struggling to look at him. "Then you can say it. Much as you need to, Mouse."
A laugh slips from your lips, but it's hardly happy. "Am I still? I mean... what I did..."
Eustass turns toward you more, "C'mere." He says softly, pulling you into his lap and cradling you against his chest. "You can't stain me, Mouse." He says softly, running his fingers through your hair. "You can't get me dirty, or bloody. If people stayed dirty for the hard decisions they've made I would've choked on my own choices and died before I met you."
"You didn't want me to go."
"I didn't."
"Be-because-."
"I didn't want you to know, Mouse." He says, cutting you off and holding you almost desperately. "I didn't want you to see yourself that way. I didn't want you to think about what was on your hands and then wonder what was on mine."
He leans you back enough to catch your gaze. "I ain't so nice as to let someone live with their poor choices, hands or no."
"... What I did was nice?" You ask, obviously confused.
"Nah. Nice, kind, none of that matters. You did what you felt you had to." He says, leaning down and kissing your forehead. "Right or wrong, honorable or not, those're just pretty words for pretty people who can't look at their own ugly choices and own 'em. You gave what you got. This world and its Justice didn't do you any favors. You cleaned up your own problem."
"I'm sorry."
Kid flinches and groans before looking back down at you. "What're sorry for?"
"During the raid, I scared you. I'm sorry."
Kid's eyes go wide for a moment. "... That." He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. "Fuckin' hells. That's what you're apologizing for?"
You nod. "I misunderstood you and ran out into things too soon. You sounded-."
"Fine, I sounded perfectly fine." Eustass growls, and you can see his face turning pink even as he grits his teeth at you with a strained grin.
You can't stop the smile, and from there you giggle. The look on Kid's face breaks the giggle and you manage a full laugh before you're apologizing. "S-sorry. Ye-yes you sound fine - sounded fine." You manage with a crooked grin. "Look fine too."
"Startin' to feel better, I see." Kid grumbles, looking away as his ears go red.
"I... I think it's going to take me some time to feel better, but... I mean." You felt heat rising in your face and you weren't sure how else to say what you were thinking. "I want to stay."
"... Did you think we were gonna kick you out?"
"Decken's – I mean, I don't know!" You admit, hiding your face entirely behind your hands. "Look I was afraid to touch you earlier 'cause I thought I had done some kind of unforgivable twisted thing and that I should've just killed him and that that would've been less than what I did and that you'd say I was some kind of little rage freak and kick me to the curb and I don't even know if I have a job and I certainly don't have the one that pink fucker had offered waiting for me, and I don't want to leave not just because I don't want to leave you, but I like it here and I want to stay, so I PANICKED."
By the end of your rant you had grabbed his collar and were shaking him a little before the end of it. Realization starts to dawn on you as Kid's trying desperately to not laugh at you.
"I just..." You let go of his collar and start to scramble out of his lap when he grabs you. "Oh-my-gods-no lemme go Eustass!" You plead, squirming even as you're lifted fully off the ground.
"Nope."
"I need to go die somewhere in peace." You're mock crying, but your face hurts from how red it is.
"Denied."
"Please." You bury your face in his chest, at this point you couldn't get away if you wanted to. "I am horrified."
"You're cute."
"... That does not disclude being horrified."
"Don't you mean exclude?"
"I said what I said." You pout.
Even as you huff you relax into his chest and let your head lean against him. He's warm.
"You're warm." You say softly. "I've thought so since you helped me down from Beast for breakfast that one day. The world is cold, but you're warm. Hmph."
"What was that for?"
"The first time I thought that, I was thinking almost literally. Like, temperatures." You explain. "But now... I mean it's embarrassing to say... but you're warm."
You nuzzle into him a little more aggressively and you're sure he can feel the heat radiating off your face.
"So it doesn't matter what the world is."
"You can't stay there for forever." He says, even as his arms were holding you in place.
"... Things are going to get even more dangerous, aren't they?"
"Yeah. Not right away, we'll have time to train you up and let you work through this." He says reassuringly. "Ready to hear about how last night went?"
"Eh? I... I know, right?" You lean back to look up at him. "I was there... right?"
"More happened after we left."
"... I..."
"You don't have to hear it right now, Mouse." Kid says. "Hell, you don't have to hear it at all if you don't want to."
"N-no, you – I mean, I can hear it now. I," you snuggle back into his chest, "would like to hear it while I am right here."
You can feel Eustass chuckle a little before he starts talking. "With some help from that freak doctor, the crew got the hilltop back in order. Killer says it's almost impossible to tell there was a fight there, and certainly not one that was as crazy as things had gotten. The only surveillance that was set up was closed-circuit, so Boogie and Hip have erased all the tapes."
All of this was good news. It was a matter of time before news of you and your ability – your full ability – got out into the wider world, but the more it could be delayed the more time you had to be ready for it. Kid and the crew still wanted to fly under the radar for a little while longer as well, so it was good news all around.
"Trafalgar took Decken."
"Huh? But... why?"
Kid shrugs. "Killer said he said something about making sure your wishes were honored, and not to worry about it having a cost or anything, and then vanished like the little creepy emo freak he is."
"That's uh..."
"Yeah," Kid grunts. "Creepy. C'mon Mouse, it's almost time to eat, and you need a proper rest after."
You start to slide out of Kid's lap when he lifts you up and puts you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
"Uh?"
"You don't have any shoes, Mouse."
"I – that's not my fault."
"Regardless, you're not walking around my shop in your bare feet."
"But, earlier -."
"That was that, this is this."
"... That's a little mean, don'tcha think?"
"You complaining about your Captain's decision, Mouse?"
You laugh and squirm around, trying to at least shift down enough to kiss his cheek, but Eustass' grip was too strong. "Let me kiss you, dammit!"
"Awful demanding for a little mouse," Kid teases, shifting you into the big hydraulic arm.
"Hafta be," you grin. "I'm your mouse, after all." You say as you grab his face and kiss him forcefully. You feel Kid's entire body tense, and even the heavy prosthetic arm jerks as your tongue pushes into his mouth.
His warm hand is against your back as your hands slip past his ears and twirl through his hair. There's a pleased hum that rumbles in his chest and practically purrs against your body. You break the kiss to catch your breath, and enjoy Kid's flushed face and half-lidded eyes for a moment before you smile and kiss the tip of his nose.
He walks the two of you out of the workshop and to the main house, and you let your mind wander over all the things that had led to this.
In a quarter of a year your entire life had changed. Some of it had been from a light touch, some of it from a heavy hand. No matter the reason, things wouldn't ever be quite the same.
A/N - And that's the end of A Light Touch!
I should say, A Light Touch: Book 1 - O_O - A Light Touch: Emperors is waiting patiently (impatiently) in the wings.