THE RIDE BACK to the prison was quiet and tense.
Multiple arguments brewed between Glenn and Rick.
Willow comforted Maggie after Glenn had said something about what the Governor did to her back in Woodbury, obvious that she didn't want anything being said.
Everyone was on edge about what may happen next with the Governor, and Daryl leaving on top of that.
Daryl was an unbelievable asset to the group. He pulled his weight, plus more. If it were up to Willow, she would've trusted Daryl to be the ultimate leader of the group. He's not afraid to make sacrifices for anyone within their group. But as she kept thinking about it, he took the ultimate sacrifice of leaving them after they stirred up Woodbury, something she felt may have fucked them all over.
She sat in the back of the car behind Rick in the driver's seat, resting her head heavily against the window, her skin slightly tingling from the coolness of it, surprised the humid and warm air hadn't heated it up. She watched the trees carefully becoming a blur with each acceleration, observing them even more when they'd slow down. She felt empty, but her mind was full. She fought against thoughts of Daryl being alone out there with Merle. She knows well that Daryl can take care of himself, but she also knows he had become acclimated to being in a group. Though he may not have relied on anyone to protect him, he always had someone watching his back whether he liked it or not. She didn't know Merle that well, but she deemed him as the selfish type. Even if Daryl is his blood, she wouldn't put it past Merle to leave him behind if shit got messy.
She also fought the anger that had risen in her when Daryl left them. She wanted nothing more than to be understanding of his situation, but she couldn't wrap her head around it. They had been through hell and back together, and not even just with her but with the whole group. It seemed outrageous that he threw that away so quickly for dead-beat Merle Dixon. It almost hurt her a bit that he didn't have a good enough reason to stay. She felt stupid to think he'd possibly stay because of her, and she knew she'd beat herself up over it forever.
This was the rude awakening as to why she never wanted to grow close to anyone.
In the end it just hurts far more than it would if she had left well enough alone.
-
Carol and Carl were on gate duty, sliding the front gates open for Rick to enter with the car, only a few straggling walkers picking up the sound of the engine on the outside fences.
Willow hadn't even noticed they were back until she felt the rumbling of the car come to a halt.
Rick stepped out of the vehicle, leaning in through the door to talk to Maggie. "Drive 'em up, I'll meet you there."
"Okay." Maggie responded, climbing over to the driver's seat.
"I'll walk." Willow said quietly, reaching for the handle of the door. She figured she could use the short walk in the fresh air.
"Oh, all right." Maggie said, looking sympathetically at Willow through the rear view mirror.
Willow closed the door to the car, nearly pinching Carol's fingers in it.
"Where's Daryl?" Carol asked fearfully, peeking through the tinted windows of the vehicle.
Willow just stood in front of her on the gravel path, her mouth in a firm line. Rick broke away from his embrace with Carl, immediately walking over to Carol with a hand on her shoulder.
"He's okay. He's alive."
Carol let out a heavy breath, but worry was still stuck on her face.
"We ran into his brother. They went off." Rick said glumly.
Carol looked at Rick as if he were speaking another language. "He left? Daryl left? He's gone?" Her voice cracked with each question. "Is he coming back?"
None of them had an answer for her.
Willow took a few steps back before turning slowly and heading up the prison yard. She heard Carol's muffled sobs against Rick's chest as she walked, kicking loose stones under her boots, dust fleeing in the air and catching on the leather of them. She looked ahead at the prison, noticing how dull it truly was. It didn't help that the sun was now hidden behind large grey clouds, only intensifying the dullness of the cinder walls. Prison was never a good place to be, but somehow it seems worse now. Not because of the apocalypse, but something else. It felt stripped clean of anything positive that their group brought to it.
Beth and Hershel were waiting outside for them, and Beth immediately greeted them with a hug. She wrapped her free arm around Willow with Sienna in the other, but Willow stood still. Beth was a sweet girl. A true ray of sunshine even on the darkest days, and she admired that about her. Given the state of the world now, it's hard to be any sort of positive.
"Thanks for watching her." Willow said kindly, removing Sienna from her care.
Beth gave her a sweet nod before giving Rick a large hug.
Willow sat down on the stairs to the entrance of their cell block outside, holding Sienna up on her lap, letting her feet rest on her thighs as if she were standing. She was surprised to see how steady she was, only barely holding onto her hands. Sienna had a sweet smile on her face, occasionally going away as she focused and used all her strength to stay steady.
"Where'd my little girl go, huh?" Willow whispered to her, smiling slightly. "Soon enough you'll be talking and walking, giving your mom attitude. Isn't that right?" She bounced Sienna around, a giggle coming from her little lips. Time has felt as if it has been slipping away quicker than before.
"You coming, Willow?" Rick asked her, heading up the stairs with Hershel.
"I'll be in there in a second." She responded, not looking away from Sienna. She traced her finger along the flowered patterns on her onesie, pink, purple, and blue, but even then she noticed she's growing out of them too. "Stop growing, goofball. I need you to stay small." She ruffled the dark hair on Sienna's head, another giggling erupting from her. It had grown out a lot now, covering her ears slightly. Willow frowned at her eyes, noticing they aren't as big as they used to be. She's continuing to grow, and that comes with growing into her face more and more.
"All right, let's head inside, huh?" She poked Sienna's belly before standing up with her and trekking up the stairs. It was always dreadful going back into the dark depths of the prison. It almost felt suffocating now.
She slid the heavy door closed before she saw her surroundings. Inside the entry way to the prison were four strangers sitting at one of the tables, blood and dirt built up on them as if it had been caking up for months.
She walked past them quickly, slipping through the cell block door before Carl closed it and locked it.
"Who the hell are those people?" She asked, particularly the people who stayed behind at the prison.
No one was eager to answer her question, and that only infuriated her more.
"You gonna talk to them? Figure out what the hell they're doing here?" She turned to Rick.
He nodded with a stern face, not pleased to have the guests either.
Carl unlocked the cell door again, the whole group filing into the room to interrogate the four of them. Willow kept a low profile behind them all, holding Sienna tightly.
"I'm Tyreese." The tall man held out his hand for Rick, but Rick declined.
"Sasha, Allen, Ben." Hershel used one of his crutches to point at each of them, introducing them to the group.
"How'd you get in?" Rick asked, straight to the point.
"Fire damage to the administrative part of the prison. Wall's down." Tyreese answered him.
"That side's completely overrun by walkers. How'd you get this far?" Rick asked suspiciously.
"We didn't. We lost our friend Donna." Tyreese kept his head held high, not cowering away at Rick.
"They were lost in the gyms." Carl spoke up.
Willow's eyes flickered between Carl and Rick, sensing the tension.
"You brought them here?" Rick snapped at his son.
"He had no choice." Hershel said calmly, defending Carl.
Willow could tell Carl meant well with bringing these people in, but he doesn't understand how dangerous it is now to do that. Now more than ever, people are dangerous and can't be trusted immediately.
"I'm sorry about your friend." Rick turned back to the group of four. "We know what that's like."
Willow bowed her head, thinking of all the people they had lost already. One in particular came to mind, and quite frankly never leaves it. Dale. She could only imagine the things he'd say about Daryl leaving the group for his brother.
"Hershel said you could use some extra hands." Tyreese said hopefully. "We're no stranger to hard work. We'll go out, get our own food, stay out of your hair. You got a problem with another group, we'll help with that too. Anything to contribute."
Though plenty was said, it all just sounded like empty promises to Rick.
"No." He said bluntly.
"Please." Sasha begged. "It's like '10 Little Indians' out there. It's just us now."
Rick shook his head again. "No."
"Let's talk about this." Hershel suggested. "We can't just keep-"
"We've been through this." Rick said quietly, his head hanging. "With Tomas, Andrew. Look what happened."
"Axel and Oscar weren't like them." Carol said kindly.
"And where's Oscar now?" Rick's voice was louder now as he continued to prove his point. "I can't be responsible."
"You turn us out, you are responsible" Tyreese said.
"Rick." Hershel called him to the side. "You've done so much for us. I appreciate that, we all do. We owe you our lives. We've done everything you asked without question. And I'm telling you you're wrong on this. You've got to start giving people a chance."
Willow watched the two of them carefully from across the room. Rick's face was blank, and she could tell he was considering it for a moment, but she hoped he would stop. She's tired of new faces and sleeping with one eye open. She still isn't that sure about Axel sleeping a couple cells over from her and her daughter. And now with Daryl gone, she feels more on edge. She can protect herself, but it was always reassuring to know she had Daryl to fall back on.
Rick let out a sigh but began to stumble back after looking up to one of the catwalks for a brief second. "No, no."
The group looked at him strangely as he muttered to himself. From the outside looking in, he looked like he had gone mad.
"Why are you here?" Rick asked, but not to anyone in the room. He paced around, taking occasional glances up to the walkway. "What do you want from me?"
"Dad?" Carl called out in concern for his father.
"What the hell is going on?" Willow whispered to Carol next to her.
"He hasn't been right since Lori passed." She responded quietly, watching Rick.
"I can't help you! Get out!" Rick yelled.
Willow took a step back as Rick's pacing quickened.
"Whoa, hey. Come on. It's all good." Tyreese said, holding his arms out in defense.
"What are you doing?" Sasha questioned him with wide eyes.
Maggie tried to calm him down. "Hey, easy Rick. There's no need to-"
"You don't belong here! Get out! Please!" His voice boomed as he pulled out the gun on his hip.
Everyone jumped back, watching his moves closely. Willow watched him point the gun up a few times to the walkway before cowering away, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes frantically. He really has gone nuts.
"We'll leave. We're going." Tyreese said calmly, backing away from Rick. "Ain't nobody gotta get shot here."
Rick continued to holler crazily as Glenn ushered the four strangers out. Everyone's feet were planted around Rick, unable to even fathom what was going on. Willow caught a look at him for a moment, his eyes full of craze and sadness, something she had never seen on him, or anyone.
Willow couldn't help but think back to what Dale had said before about the group being broken.
Man, if he could see them now.
-
"Now you said you found Tyreese's group here?" Glenn asked, drawing a final line to complete the map of the prison.
"Yeah." Carl answered, looking down at the makeshift map on the floor.
"We secured that." Willow said, her eyebrows knotting in confusion as she leaned against the wall beside them.
"He thought he came through here." Carl pointed to another section of the map.
Glenn shook his head. "Means there's another breach."
Willow let out a sigh.
"The whole front of the prison is unsecure. If walkers just strolled in, then it's gonna be cake for a group of armed men." Glenn continued.
"Especially with the arsenal they have on hand." Willow pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.
"Why are we even so sure he's gonna attack?" Beth asked. "Maybe you scared him off."
"He had fish tanks full of heads." The woman said from the side. "Walkers and humans. Trophies. He's coming."
"I'm sorry, what's your name?" Willow asked, looking at the katana wielding woman.
The woman returned a glare. "Michonne."
Willow nodded curtly.
"We should hit him now." Glenn suggested eagerly.
"What?" Beth asked, confused.
Glenn looked up at her. "He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head."
Willow could tell Glenn was out for revenge for whatever went down with him and Maggie, and as much as she wanted to support it, she didn't want to risk it without a solid, thought-out plan.
"We're not assassins." Carol spoke up.
Glenn stood up and walked over to Michonne. "You know where his apartment is. You and I could end this tonight."
She had never seen him so angry and determined to kill. Willow only ever saw the sweet side of him. The way he spoke so eagerly and dangerously now took her and the whole group by surprise.
Michonne let out a sigh, leading Glenn to suggest he could do it himself, but that was even worse than running into that place blind.
Michonne finally gave in, giving Glenn a silent nod.
"He didn't know you were coming last time and look what happened." Hershel said. "You were almost killed. Daryl was captured. And you and Maggie were almost executed."
Willow's hand twitched by her side at the mention of Daryl's name. She could feel the same anxious feeling she had before when they had been waiting for him to meet them outside the walls of Woodbury, but never came. She hated the chokehold he had on her, even when he wasn't even there.
"You can't stop me." Glenn said bravely to Maggie's father.
"Rick would never allow this." Hershel countered.
"You really think he's in any position to make that choice?" Glenn got closer to Hershel's face as he spoke, the tension thick between them.
"Think this through clearly. T-Dog lost his life here. Lori, too. The men that were here. It isn't worth any more killing. What are we waiting for? If he's really on his way, we should be out of here by now."
Glenn laughed dryly. "And go where?"
"We lived on the road all winter."
"Back when you had two legs and we didn't have another baby crying for walkers every few hours." Glenn said harshly.
Willow looked over to Maggie a few feet next to her, noticing the horrid look plastered on her face as she watched Glenn and her father argue.
"We can't stay here." Hershel suggested again.
"We can't run." Glenn eyed Hershel hard but his gaze drifted to Maggie who decided to leave the room, her head hanging.
Willow decided to go after her, feeling that both of them could be around less testosterone.
"Maggie?" She spoked softly, peeking her head into Maggie's cell.
Maggie sat on the edge of the bottom bunk, fidgeting with her fingers. "I've never seen him like this."
"Me neither." Willow sat down beside her, sitting Sienna in her lap, a heavy sigh leaving her mouth. "I think he's really hell bent on getting back at that guy for whatever happened in there."
She didn't want to force Maggie to say anything, so she wasn't ever going to ask.
Maggie shook her head. "Well it isn't his trauma to deal with, it's mine. He's talking crazy right now."
"You're right, it isn't." Willow agreed quietly. "What he's talking about doing right now is the definition of a suicide mission."
"No kidding." Maggie responded, brushing her hair back with her hands.
"But I will say, he is absolutely and inexplicably in love with you, Mags. So much so he's going crazy to get this revenge. I know it isn't ideal and it's all insane, but he wouldn't just do that for anyone." She tried to make Maggie feel better about the situation, though she didn't know if that was much help. She felt relieved to see a smile tug at her lips.
"Thanks, Willow." She said kindly, reaching over and playing with Sienna's feet. "How are you holding up?"
"What do you mean?" Willow questioned her, adjusting Sienna in her lap.
"With Daryl leaving." She said cautiously as if she was expecting Willow to go off on a tangent.
The pit returned in Willow's stomach in an instant and her face burned red from embarrassment. She didn't want to come off as fragile or weak to anyone, especially because of a man.
She shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm fine. Just glad he found his brother, I guess."
Maggie turned her head with sympathetic eyes as if she could see straight through her facade.
"I'm be fine." Willow said again. She wanted to be fine and she thought if she said it enough, maybe she would be, but she couldn't even fool herself.
She most definitely wasn't fine.
-
Beth swung the cell door open, Glenn rushing through and ripping off a riot vest. "The tombs are overrun by walkers again."
"That whole section had been cleared." Willow stepped up, helping him take the vest off.
"It's a steady stream of walkers." Carl said from behind Glenn.
Willow looked down at him with wide eyes. "You went too?"
Carl looked up at her and nodded.
She tossed the riot vest to the side, upset that Carl got dragged into this mess.
"We're wasting time." Hershel's voice echoed throughout the room. "The Governor is supposedly on the way and we're stuck in here with walkers."
"Trapped between a rock and a hard place." Carol added with crossed arms.
"For the last time, running is not an option." Glenn said angrily.
"Glenn, if the tombs are filled up again, it may just be a matter of time before they push up in here." Carol stood her ground.
"Or until some fence gives way." Beth suggested.
"What if one of them herds is passing through?" Axel asked from the corner. "Or settled?"
"Can't handle that with just the few of us." Carol said solemnly.
"Okay." Glenn breathed out. "All right, we just need to scout the far side of the prison. Find out what's going on."
Willow could tell Glenn is one step away from cracking. Since Daryl is gone and Rick isn't fit to make any big decisions right now, Glenn was next in line, and the pressure on his shoulders right now looked like it would break him at any second.
"You're going out there?" Hershel questioned doubtfully.
"Take a car and make it quick." Glenn nodded in response.
"I'll drive." Axel stepped up, but Glenn turned him down.
"No, you stay here and help with the fortifications. I'll take Maggie."
"You sure she's up to that?" Hershel asked him, his eyes diverted from Glenn's.
Glenn looked down at his shoes, his jaw muscles flexing.
It wasn't a no brainer that he was agitated from the doubts the group had about his plan. At the end of the day, he's trying his best to keep the group together and ready for whatever the Governor had to bring on, but all of the questions and doubts made it much harder for him to do that.
In a swift motion, he turned from the group. They watched as he trailed through the cell block and into Maggie's cell.
-
Carol, Axel and Willow worked together to fortify some spots around the prison exterior, lining some of the fence lines with metal table tops and wooden pallets. It wasn't much, but it was better than nothing.
Willow got to know Axel a bit better as the three of them worked together. He shared his story of how he ended up in prison; wielding a water gun as he robbed a gas station. Carol and Willow had laughed when he told the story, finding extra enjoyment in the way his southern accent told it. Carol had questioned him for mentioning before that he was in prison for pharmaceuticals, but he admitted to lying because he didn't want their group thinking he was a violent man. The both of them could tell he wasn't the violent type, and they actually found it comforting to be around him. He cracked funny jokes and treated them with intense respect, careful not to step on their toes as a new face to the group. They appreciated that about him.
Hershel convinced Willow to come with him to the fence line to talk to Rick. He had been out there for hours, traipsing through the tall grass and the edge of the woods. Everyone was worried about him, and if someone could talk any sense into him, it would be Hershel.
"Rick." Hershel called out to him from behind the fence, Willow standing next to him, helping him adjust his crutches on the uneven terrain.
Rick looked at them through the fence a few feet out, his hair drenched in sweat, dripping down his face and into his bloodshot eyes. He trailed over to them cautiously.
"You know I wouldn't have hobbled all the way down here if it wasn't important." Hershel continued to speak to him. "Are you coming back soon?"
Rick looked around, as if he was trying to figure out if it was really him Hershel was talking to.
"Glenn's on a warpath." Willow said through the fence, squinting against the sun beating down on them through the clouds.
"Smart as he is, he can't fill your boots." Hershel added on. "I'm afraid he's reckless. We need you now more than ever."
Willow felt a slight sense of guilt for going behind Glenn's back and asking for Rick to come back as their leader, but it was all for the benefit of the group and for Glenn himself.
"Well, if you're so worried about him, you lead." Rick said slowly.
"What are you doing out here, Rick?" Willow asked with concern.
"I've got- stuff out here." Rick responded, hardly able to put words together. "Stuff."
"How much longer do you need?" Hershel asked, noticing Rick's paranoid state.
Rick shrugged, still looking around him. "I don't know."
"Is there anything we can help you with?" Hershel continued to question him.
When Rick didn't respond, the two of them began to turn heel and head back for the prison, but he finally spoke up. "I saw something."
The two of them turned back to him, surprised to see him stepping towards them and more willing to talk.
"Lori. I saw Lor- I'm seeing Lori." He said, almost as if he was embarrassed. "Look, I know it's not really her. But there's got to be a reason. It's got to mean something, you know?"
"Was it her on the phone?" Hershel asked, confusion rushing over Willow.
Rick nodded a simple 'yes'. "Shane, too. And the town."
Hershel nodded. "Do you see them now?"
Rick shook his head, his eyes growing weary. He wanted to see them.
"You're looking for them." Willow spoke up, taking a step closer to the fence.
"I'm waiting." Rick responded.
"For what?" She asked intently.
"I don't know. Something." He hung his head, holding onto the fence. "There's an answer. I know it doesn't make sense. Well, it does. It can make sense. I think in time, it will make sense."
"Rick... come on in." Hershel suggested lightly, nodding his head to the prison. "You need rest. It's not safe out here."
Rick looked at the two of them for a moment before shaking his head and backtracking away from them. "I can't. I can't."
The two of them watched him walk through the uncut grass, dust kicking up from his shoes behind him. They both felt a wave of worry fall onto them again, not just for Rick but for the entire group. They trusted Glenn more than they can say, but they couldn't shake the doubt and horrible feelings they were getting about his plan.
They need Rick Grimes.
-
Word count: 4,120