Face down on her twin bed, Abby screamed into her thin pillow.
How did this become her life? Had she been a bad person in her previous life? Was this her punishment? Maybe she'd been the Alphahole to some other poor Omega, so karma decided she needed a taste of her own medicine? Was that it?
Just when she started to find some semblance of normalcy, when she'd settled into Sanctuary and began to believe that she could live a somewhat normal life, her father tried to rip away any chance at happiness. Of course, in his eyes, she didn't deserve it because she wasn't a person. Property or objects didn't get to be happy. Omegas were just things, after all, and her only purpose was to please an Alpha.
She should have known that he'd never let her go that easily. She'd been away from the males in her family for too long if she'd gotten soft enough to expect them to just walk away and leave her alone.
After a whispered conference with Malcolm and Killian, Director Baker grudgingly gave her consent for Killian to become part of the security team at Sanctuary. Abby didn't know what they'd said to the other Omega, but she'd visibly paled before giving her agreement. After Selah and the males left, she'd spent a few minutes trying to assure Abby that she was perfectly safe at Sanctuary and that she shouldn't worry before she'd glided out of the room like a perfectly poised Omega.
Shouldn't worry? Shouldn't worry? Wow. She'd apparently been getting threatening notes for weeks that no one had bothered to tell her about. Someone had actually gotten close enough to put one of them on her door. Her Alpha cultist father wanted to bring her back so she could assume her rightful place. A seven foot, insanely hot, giant of an Alpha called her Blossom, smelled like burnt marshmallows, made her Omega instincts sit up and take notice of a male for the first time in... well, ever... but she wasn't supposed to worry.
Yelling into her pillow again, Abby clutched the fabric tightly to her face to muffle the sound. Selah suggested the technique to her weeks ago when she'd confessed to keeping all her frustration and anger bottled up inside. She'd had to learn to swallow it down with her father and brothers. Property wasn't allowed to have feelings, and showing any anger, sadness, or pain always led to abuse for either her or her mother.
This pillow trick could be useful.
Maybe she could smother Killian with it.
The image of the big Alpha spread out on her tiny bed, looking up at her with his black hair and brilliant blue eyes while she straddled his hips, rocking her slick heat against his -
No! What the actual fudge!
Her bed no longer safe as her mind conjured up his smokey sweet scent, Abby abandoned it to pace the length of her room. Twenty steps, turn, twenty steps, turn. Repeat. Her thoughts whirled around in her brain like a whirligig twisting from her father, to Tobias, her possible return to Alpha Haven before ending up with a pair of intense blue eyes staring at her with enough heat to ignite the delicate pink sheer curtains fluttering in the breeze from her open window.
A light knock on her wooden door drew her attention to the closed portal. A citrus combination of lemons and oranges confirmed with a glance through the peephole revealed Catrina and Selah standing at her door.
"Selah?" Abby questioned with a slight lilt to her voice. Visitors, even fellow Omegas, weren't typically allowed past the visitor rooms on the first floor. Selah had never been to Abby's rooms in all the months she'd been at Sanctuary so the visit was not only unexpected but also unusual.
"Director Baker asked me to bring her to your room, Abby." Catrina added with an glance at Selah that surprised Abby. As far as she knew, Catrina had never met Selah on any of her visits, but the look she directed at Selah's back was decidedly unfriendly.
"Thank you for your help, Catrina. I'm sure Abby and I will be just fine." Selah replied as she very deliberately entered Abby's room and shut the door in Catrina's shocked face before the other Omega could follow her inside.
Abby could only blink, stunned at the thinly veiled antagonism between the two Omegas.
"What was that?" she finally asked turning to watch her friend lower herself carefully into the chair at Abby's desk.
"Not a clue. I wanted to visit with you privately today. Director Baker didn't seem eager to grant my request, but once she gave her permission, she would only let me come up with an escort. Instead of asking one of the other nearby Omegas, she called Catrina. I'm not sure why Catrina doesn't like me, but I find myself not liking her right back."
"Catrina has been through a lot," Abby murmured sitting on the edge of her bed.
"I know. Well... I don't know, but I know she must have if she's here. I'm just getting a weird vibe from her. It might just be the pregnancy. I swear these babies have made me overly sensitive to everything. I growled at the barista at the coffee shop this morning because I didn't get chocolate shavings on my mocha. I almost made her cry." Selah groaned into her cupped hands as she covered her face in embarrassment.
Abby laughed and patted her friend on the shoulder, "One of your babies obviously wants chocolate!"
"Ooof!" Selah's hand went to her protruding stomach, and Abby watched in amazement as a ripple moved over the surface. "I am in so much trouble," Selah groaned rubbing at the little bulge pushing against her from the inside.
"Wow," Abby whispered softly, gaze locked onto her friend's tummy.
"Yeah... it's been amazing. I never thought I'd get to experience this especially after everything that happened with Malcolm."
Reaching out and gripping Selah's hand where it rested on her stomach, Abby squeezed tightly and said, "I'm so sorry, Sel. For all of it."
"I know. It wasn't your fault. None of it. Neither Malcolm nor I hold you guilty. You need to forgive yourself, Abby. Let it go."
"I know," at Selah's raised eyebrow, Abby squeezed her hand once more before letting go with a sigh and falling back onto her bed, "It's just not that easy."
"It's a lot easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves, but you deserve all the happiness in the world just like any other person. Possibly including," When Selah's tone took on a sly, conspiratorial tone, Abby slanted a look at her friend from beneath her eyelashes, "a certain male Alpha who apparently has already given you a pet name... Blossom."
Unable to contain her groan at the less than subtle teasing, Abby let herself fall back onto her narrow bed. Grabbing her new cotton-covered confidant, she planted her pillow on top her face to hide her flaming cheeks from her friend and therapist. Abby refused to acknowledge her reaction to the gentle teasing while she moaned again in frustration, but even while her eyes rolled in their sockets, she couldn't stop the pleased grin tilting her lips into a smile.
Blossom.
"So... what do you think of the giant Alpha who has definitely noticed you?"
Rolling over, Abby could feel the heat scalding her cheeks, but she tried to wipe the grin off her face before facing her friend again. When Selah's grin only widened and her eyes twinkled, Abby knew she'd been unsuccessful. After a few moments of silence, Abby cursed Selah's endless patience. Damn therapists and their sneaky ways of dragging out answers.
"He's very... large," she finally conceded to the silent pressure.
"Hmm," Selah's noncommittal hum told Abby she wasn't off the hook yet.
"You've known him long?" Abby tried turning the question back on Selah. Answering a question with a question being another of the sneaky Omega's tricks.
"Yes. He's been a friend for quite some time although we usually don't see much of him. He's a commander of a special ops unit in Alpha Corps, so he's usually deployed. His unit happened to be in town and provided back-up at the warehouse," Selah's blush roused Abby's curiosity but the other Omega kept talking before Abby could ask about it, "He's been on leave recuperating from an injury."
A whine sounded in the room. Abby cut the sound off as soon as she realized she was making the wounded noise. He'd been hurt? Who had been there to nurse him back to health?
Whoa. Abby slammed that door shut in her mind. It was not her concern who had helped the smoky sweet smelling Alpha. She was sure he'd been injured lots of times in his line of work.
A knowing smirk crossed Selah's lips, "A minor injury. Just enough to slow him down to need real recovery time. He's doing some minor physical therapy while he waits for his unit to return."
Abby felt a knot tighten in her chest at the thought of Killian being injured. It was just the care of one person for any other living being. She'd be concerned about anyone with an injury.
Right.
"I think his physical therapist's name is Betsy... Becky... something like -"
A low growl vibrating through the room cut Selah's musing off. Looking around in surprise, it took Selah's wide grin to realize the threatening sound came from her own chest. Cutting it off so abruptly, she started to cough, Abby tossed her pillow at the other Omega to wipe the grin off her face. Trilling laughter filled the small room, and Selah cradled her belly to support it as she laughed.
"What did you want to see me about?" Abby tried to steer the conversation back to safer topics. Topics that didn't include a hardened, giant Alpha with devilish eyes and a presence that made her burn with heat deep in her belly.
"You know Killian starts his security placement here tomorrow?" Selah asked.
"Yes. Director Baker took great pains to reassure me that I'm perfectly safe here."
"I've dealt with Baker before with other clients, but I don't remember her being quite so ambivalent. I once saw her verbally take down an Alpha visitor who she'd felt disrespected one of the residents. Honestly, I'm a little surprised by her blase attitude." Selah mused.
"She's well-liked by the other Omegas here. They've only had good things to say about her," Abby volunteered, "but some of the ones who have been here for a while have mentioned things seem a little different with her. She's newly mated from what I've heard."
"Well, maybe she's just been a little distracted then. Finding your mate can be an incredibly stressful time." Pausing for a moment, Selah continued, "All teasing aside, how are you feeling? I'm sorry this was kept from you so it came out of thin air. Sometimes Alphas are idiots."
Choking on surprised chuckle, Abby answered, "It was a surprise, but I've been thinking about it. I really should have expected it. There's no way that Father will let me be happy."
"Fuck him."
Abby started at the blunt statement, but after a brief second, she let out a light chuckle. Before Selah's encounter with Christoph, the Omega might have a been a bit more discreet, but Abby could still remember Omega night's out where the petite blond had raised more than eyebrows with her colorful language. Of course, Malcolm hadn't been within hearing distance those times either.
"We will keep you safe, Abby. Malcolm is talking to Commander James today about the latest incident. The fact that it made its way to your actual door gives the threat more credence. While it makes it a lot scarier for you, hopefully, it will encourage the OSF to get with the program," Selah's eyeroll and sigh of exasperation revealed her feelings on her employers dragging their feet. "Killian is on staff here now for the next several weeks. Before he has to return to active duty, we'll have this figured out or at the very least have better protection in place."
"Active duty?" Why Abby's brain chose those words to pick out of all of that baffled her.
"His unit should be back in-country in the next month or two."
"Right," somehow Abby had forgotten that Killian would be leaving.
Leaving her? Alpha leaving?
The mournful faint whine from inside her skull startled her enough that she missed Selah's next words.
"Abby?"
Coming back to herself with Selah's gentle prodding, Abby felt a shiver go down her spine, "I'm sorry. Lost in space there for a second. You were saying?"
"What did you think about staying at Killian's estate? I've only been once, but it's practically a fortress."
"No." Automatic and firm, Abby's response caused a smile in the other Omega.
"No?" At Abby's nod, Selah's smile spread across her lips, "Good."
"Good?"
"Absolutely. Months ago, you would have never outright said 'No.' You would have hidden, retreated into yourself, tried to come up with every excuse to try and get out of it. You may not consciously feel it it yet, but you're getting more confident every day." Selah's proud tone caused an answering smile to cross Abby's mouth, and when the other Omega reached out to squeeze her knee in solidarity, Abby covered it with her own.
"You are not powerless," Selah continued. "Do not let any Alpha, Beta, or even other Omegas tell you otherwise. You are courageous and strong. Those words don't mean fearless. It doesn't mean you rush in without a care. Courage and strength aren't reckless. They are survivors. They take fear, use it, and turn it into a victory."