The next morning, it was 6 a.m. and I was up getting myself together for the horrid day. I took a quick shower, ate breakfast, fed Imani and now I was getting Imani and myself dressed as Tyrese was to be here very soon. I went to my closet and there wasn't much new things. I haven't bought new pair of clothes in a long time. I guess I will just have to stick to whatever I see.
I pulled out a white and yellow sweater, dark blue skinny jeans and a black and yellow jewel studded sandal. For Imani, I picked out a cute pink-checkered dress and white sandals.
"Imani, it's time to dress you up." I said trying to put a smile on my face as I went up to her. She was lying on my bed as I finished changing her diaper. I slid the dress on to her gently and zipped up the back.
"Well don't you look pretty sweet heart?" I said brushing her curly hair cautiously.
"Da-da! Da-da! Da-da!" She said as she poked her cute small fingers into her mouth.
I frowned again. She had to remind of that terrible guy who has to be her dang father.
"Da-da should be coming any minute. Let me just finish up these cute pigtails for you."
I brushed her hair, parted it in the middle and took two butterfly barrettes forming two cute pigtails for her. She smiled at me.
"I love you Imani."
"Wuvvvvv" She said as her big adorable eyes look at me. I couldn't be any prouder of my angel.
I giggled. "It's Loooveeee."
"Wuv"
"Love sweetheart, love."
"Lo-vvv..." She said innocently.
I smiled at her. "Yes sweetie pie! You're getting good at speaking! And soon before you know it, you'll be going to kindergarten and everything. Make friends and all that. You will be happy all the time."
"Hap-hap!" She cheered.
I picked her up and started swinging her around the room as she giggled and laughed about. She was so positive and made me happy when she was around me. Now that she had to go off to be with Tyrese, I was truly going to miss her.
I stopped swinging her about and I sat down on the bed with her on my lap.
"Imani, can I tell you something?"
She gave me a perplexed look and giggled.
"Sweetie..." I started. I gently made her head lay on my shoulder and I gave her a kiss.
"Love is a wonderful thing. Many people are born from love sweetheart just like you."
"Wuv!" She said.
"Aw sweetheart, I love you. I truly love you and I know you love me too. But your father isn't a nice guy... yet I stay with him. I don't want you not having a father. You need two parents. Not one. And remember this sweetheart, no matter what anybody says to you, saying you're worthless, a loser, calling you bad words or anything like that, they're not true to you. Always be true to you baby girl. And don't end up like mommy, never. By the time you're my age; you'll have a wonderful boyfriend and won't be living in a crappy neighborhood like mine."
Imani soon hugged my neck gently and I gave her a peck on her cheek. Somehow, I felt like she truly understood what I said.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang and I heard banging. It was no other than... Tyrese. I didn't want my Imani to be taken away from him... but I had no choice
.
"Imani, you stay right here. When I come back, da-da will be here!"
"Da-da! Da-da!" She said happily.
I realized I was still in my bra and underwear but if I kept Tyrese waiting too long, he would beat me up. I couldn't let that happen.
"Open the door! Man you're so fucking slow!" I heard him yell and bang at the door.
"I'm coming! Damn!" I yelled as I ran to the front of the door. I quickly opened it up and Tyrese came in and shoved me down to the floor.
"You're so damn awfully slow!" He yelled.
"Stop yelling! Imani is here!"
"Why don't you stop yelling first!" He answered back.
"Why you always got to put the blame on me!?" I retorted.
"Because you're stupid and a useless broad!"
"How the fuck am I stupid and useless Tyrese? How! How?" I was pissed off. I was not a useless bitch. If he calls me that one more time, I'm going to slap him, I swear I will!
"Do I fucking have to tell you? Damn... where's your head!?"
"You're right Tyrese. You so right! I'm stupid because I'm still WITH YOU!" I threw a couch pillow at him.
He soon ran up to me and slapped so hard across the fast that I landed on the couch.
"Tyrese! STOP IT! STOP!"
He ran up to the couch where I laid crying my heart out and he started beating me up, punching me in the face and kicking me on the legs.
"STOP! STOP!" I screamed with all my might. I felt the heavy blows of his punches hit me two, four, six, eight, ten times and the kick of his heavy boots blow at my legs at least about a dozen times. This was who I am. At least, this was who I am to Tyrese. A person he can have sex with and a person he can beat up.
After about what seems eternity, he stopped beating me up and I laid on the couch with pain everywhere in my body crying hysterically.
"Why got to make me do this to you! You think I want to do this huh!? But I got to teach your dumbass mind to not talk to me like that!" He yelled.
"Why you doing this to me!? Why!?" I cried, choking with tears.
"Because you fucking made me! That's why!"
"You're so mean! Just get out! Get out!" I said as more tears traveled down my face.
"Camille... Stop it! Stop it!" He yelled.
"GET OUT! GET OUT! I HATE YOU!!" I screamed.
"Do you not know that!? Look what you did! Look!" I got up from the couch and started pointing to all the spots that hurt me the most from his fight with me.
"Camille... stop crying!"
"NO! Leave me alone!"
"Camille, stop crying!"
I couldn't even respond to him. I was to choke up in tears. Tyrese had no soul... He had no fucking soul! All he does is treat me like I'm a piece of trash! All the damn time! And I couldn't leave him because Imani needed him... I needed him. But he had to hurt me! He just had to!
Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder and I looked up at Tyrese who handed me a hot towel.
"Here... take this."
"Fuck you! I don't want you to help me ease my pain! You caused it! You caused it!"
"Camille, I'm sorry okay!?" He yelled.
I stared deeply at him and shook my head in disappointment.
"Over and over and over, I try to figure out why you do this to me... Over and over and over you say the same answer to me, and over and over and over and over I keep forgiving you!"
I snatched the hot towel from his hand fiercely and started rubbing the towel around the spots that hurt me the most.
Tyrese sighed and sat down next to me.
"What the hell you think you're doing!? Go get Imani and leave! I'll pick her up tomorrow after school."
"Camille baby, just-"
"Do not Camille baby me! You're on punishment from me! No kisses, no touching, no nothing! Just get out my house with Imani because your face is a disgrace to me!" I yelled.
"Camille just please-"
"NO!"
"But-"
"NO!
"CAMILLE I-"
"NO!"
He grabbed my arm and pulled me face to face with him. "I love you! I'm sorry."
I knew what he was doing to me. I knew it exactly! This boy thought he can trick me into forgetting what he did to me but I'm not a fool!
"Tyrese, I am so done with you! I'm done! Don't say you love me! Don't!"
"Camille baby I do! I do!"
"Beating your girlfriend up is not love! Just fuck off Tyrese! Get Imani and go!"
"Camille please... listen to me sweetie, I really do love you! I do I-"
I quickly ran to my room. I had enough of hearing 'I love you'. I lifted up Imani, and grabbed her baby bag when Tyrese ran into my room.
"Camille! I'm not leaving until we make up again!"
"What is there to even make up Ty? You're just going to beat me up again as always! You're just a going to beat me up again as always!" I held out Imani to him but this damn boy wouldn't even accept her.
"Camille... put the baby down."
"She isn't 'the baby' she has a damn name! It's Imani!"
"Okay, okay, put Imani down."
"Take her!"
"Put her down Camille!"
"Take her!" I yelled
He finally took Imani without hesitation and headed out my room.
"You forgot her bag!" I said mad enough, walking up to catch up to him.
He quickly went to the living room and placed her down.
"Da-da! Da-da! Uppie! Up!" Imani said. What the hell was this stupid boy doing now! Why is he not leaving?
"What are you waiting for!?"
"For you!"
"For what!?"
"I want to talk to you!"
"NO!"
"Please?"
"NO!"
"Please?"
"NO!"
"Please Camille!"
"NO!"
"For one minute!" He pleaded.
I did a frustrated sigh. Tyrese was so damn annoying, it was crazy! He had one minute with me and that's it!
"One minute! Only!"
"Okay Camille, okay. Let's go to your room."
I shook my head in annoyance and made sure the front door was closed and locked so nobody would come in and kidnap my Imani.
"Imani, mommy and daddy is going to talk quickly okay?"
"Da-da!" She squealed.
"Yes that's right honey. Now, be a good girl and we will be right back." I gave her a peck on her forehead and me and Tyrese headed off to my bedroom.
"Talk! Spit it out! Say what's on your mind! Hurry up!" I said impatiently as soon as we both were alone in my room.
Tyrese gently closed the door and ushered me to sit next to him on my bed. Does anybody have a sense of déjà vu? Cause I have a feeling this happened before.
I walked quickly and sat next to him on my made-up bed.
"Camille... I'm sorry for all that I did to you. I'm sorry, okay baby?"
"Ty, you say the same shit to me! In order for this to happen again, all I got to do is rewind you up by making you mad by accident and then you will beat me, say you're sorry, that you love me and then make up for it for the wrong things. This is wrong Tyrese! Wrong! Give me one reason why I shouldn't dump your ass?"
He soon grabbed my body and moved his hands up and down my back.
"Tyrese I'm serious I-"
"Sshh..." He said placing one finger on my lips. "Have I ever told you how sexy you are sometimes?"
"Tyrese I'm really not in the mood I got tutoring in less than a hour and-"
He soon kissed my neck and started kissing on me all over.
Lord have mercy this boy! He knew how to make love. And it always seemed to win me over eventually.
"You know what I'm really digging about you Camille?"
"That is?"
He soon stopped and looked at me deeply. Tyrese was fine looking guy. I'm not going to lie. He was so oh so fine. He had cute dark brown eyes, caramel skin tone, a muscular body, and a perfect haircut and a sexy voice. These are the reasons I hooked up with him in the first place. He promised me good loving and everything. He was more decent back then obviously but kept his word about making love good as ever.
"Your body is sexy. Your looks is sexy, your personality is sexy. You're just everything good."
"Ty... don't try buttering me up now."
"Not even when I do this?" He gently started kissing me softly on the lips and I had to admit, he was a hell of a kisser too.
"Oh Ty..." I said expressing his name out.
He started undoing my bra and he slipped out of his shirt showing off his abs.
He went on top of me began massaging my body. In all the good parts and the bad ones.
"I got a condom." He said.
"Tyrese... Imani is outside! We can't be doing this."
"C'mon, please?" He unzipped his jeans and took the condom out.
"Tyrese I-"
He kissed me again and gripped on to my waist, sending me into a feeling of ecstasy.
"Okay, maybe just for a few minutes."
He smiled.
And what was done, was done.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was 9 a.m. and I finally arrived at Jayda's apartment. But I wasn't there to see Jayda. She wasn't home anyways. My tutor for the day lived in the same building as Jay. This was convenient for me, because after two hours of tutoring, I can walk to the grocery store, buy some food and bring some milk over to Tyrese's place for Imani. Tyrese always seemed to win me over with sex. It was bad though. It felt good as ever, but I never made myself fully realize what he does to me. He beats me up; I accept it in the end and then he makes up for it. This is not love! But what can I say... I need him at the moment. So I was going to have to deal with his dreadful behavior.
The guy I was to tutor was only on the second floor of the building so I didn't sought to take the elevator. I walked up, and ranged #5's door. Don't get me wrong, tutoring can be a pain if the person is truly dumb, but the fifty dollars I was going to make was worth it. I only had two hundred in my wallet for the week so far and rent is due in two weeks.
"Who is it?" The boy said. He had a familiar sounding voice but I decided to not let that make me curious.
"Your tutor that you asked for. Camille Washington."
"Ok, hold up." He responded.
Sometimes, I would hate tutoring boys. One reason was because they would rather stare at me and ask for my number than do the damn homework. If Tyrese found out I be tutoring boys, he would probably kill me... Luckily for him, what they don't know won't hurt.
Soon the door started fidgeting open and then the boy appeared in front of me.
"Hey! I know who you are." He said looking at me astonished.
I widen my eyes. It could not believe it. I honestly could not! It was that stupid-ass boy who tried to steal my bag. The boy who tried to kidnap my Imani! It was that stranger!
"What!? I'm so not tutoring your ass! Forget you!
"Yo, what's wrong with you!?" He said.
"What's wrong with me!? Ok, lets start with point one. One, you tried stealing my bag. Two, you tried taking my daughter, oh and three, what's wrong with you!?"
"Yo, are you just going to accuse me of a lie, or are you going to tutor me?"
I sighed. As much as I hated this boy in front of my eyes, money is tight and I need it desperately.
I charged right into his place rudely and turned to him with fierceness in my face.
"Don't you dare look at me, don't you dare touch me, don't you dare touch my bag, and don't you dare play games with me and especially don't act so stupid when I tutor you! Got it!?"
He chuckled. "Damn girl. You got some attitude."
"You better watch out because it can come out any damn time!"
His place was pretty decent I guess. A semi-neat kitchen, a living room similar to Jayda's but he had a bigger TV, a desktop computer, a bookshelf, and white carpet.
"Well, Ms. Attitude, welcome to my crib." He said with a teasing smile on his face and closed his door shut.
I rolled my eyes and soon put my bag and my books down on his living room coffee table and took off my sweater. The damn boy was staring at me as I getting myself together. I knew this was to be expected, but damn I'm not that pretty.
"Well are you going to get your ass over here or are you going to waste my time?" I said with my hands on my hips.
"Sorry about that madam. By the way, the name's Xavier." He said sitting next to me.
"Alright cool, Xavier, so what do you need help with? English or History?"
"Oh, history cause you see, your boy here doesn't do politics and Uncle Ben."
I seriously wanted to shove a textbook down this dumbass boy's mouth... Did you see what he said? Did he really just say Uncle Ben!? As in, Uncle Ben the rice box!? Kill... me... now.
"You must be really testing me right now... because it's Uncle Sam you dummy! Ugh!"
"Oh..." He laughed. "Cool!" He laughed again.
I did a heavy sigh and shook my head in misery. This had to keep going, I was not going to stay over here teaching a high school educated boy the difference between an American government icon versus the brand name of a fucking rice box.
"You got a history textbook or what? I got the paper and some pencils." I said frustrated.
"Yeah, it's in my room. Want me to go get it?"
"Well obviously, it isn't going to get up and walk over here its fucking self!"
He laughed. "Man, you got jokes girl."
"Ha, ha, ha now go get the damn textbook!" I said even more frustrated.
"Okay. You keep yourself looking cute. I'm going to be right back."
What!? I said to myself. This boy was seriously not hitting on me. Please not now! I will not ever allow it. Shoot... even though Tyrese is a stupid and a mean ass boy, he still helps me periodically and that's just the type of guy I'm looking for. Plus, I barely know this boy! He wasn't all that bad looking, but I still had eyes for Tyrese. He has some sort of the same muscular body as Tyrese, a mini little mustache on the top of his lip, a tiny goatee, a light brown skin tone and medium-deep voice. But he has zero rights to be hitting on me when we're doing schoolwork. Can you say inappropriate? If he rather hit on me for two hours than study, then you know what? Fine by me. I'm still getting my money. That's all that matters.
A minute later, he came back with the red textbook at hand and returned to sit next to me.
"Here ya go madam." He said.
"Took long enough..." I said grabbing the book from him rudely and flipping through the pages.
"Yo, can I ask you something?" He asked.
"Does it have to do with schoolwork?" I said, lifting my eyebrow, wondering what else to expect from this boy's mouth.
"Well... nah not really. I just-"
"Then no. I came here to do schoolwork with you and that's what we're going to do!"
"But if you're my tutor I got to know a little about you. Don't I?"
"NO! You don't need to know crap about me! I'm just a stranger who you should be thankful enough to help you with your damn history homework! Is that understood!?" This boy was getting on my last nerves. I was still pissed off at him for trying to steal my bag and going near my Imani.
"It's one simple question and I promise to not ask you another question unless it got to do with school. Okay?" He asked one more time.
I took a deep sigh. Just to shut his nosy mouth up I agreed.
"What is it?"
"Why are you always stressing?"
"You don't need to know..." I said a bit sadly.
"That's not answering my question."
"Well I did respond to your stupid question so that is technically answering your question."
"Can't you just-"
"Listen here! Did you ask me to come here to have a talk with you or to study with you?"
"Both."
"What!? Uh-uh. I'm not talking about personal life stuff here boy. I came here strictly to teach your retarded behind and you going to like it. Grab a piece of paper, a pencil and start answering these questions so I can grade you!"
"Damn, I wonder where you got that powerful voice of yours."
"Just keep your mind off me and on your homework!"
"I'm not sure if I can do that..." He responded looking me up and down.
"Boy, I swear if you-"
He then all of a sudden started laughing out loud. Did he really think what I said was funny!?
"Listen I'm sorry okay?" He said after calming down a bit. "I've been a bad boy. I'm going to do my work; I'm going to do my work." He soon took a pencil and started doing the questions.
I glared at him and rolled my eyes. Boys like him makes me want to slap the black out of them and give them some decent manners. But at least he's doing the work.
----
About half hour later, we finished grading his questions and answered a few of them. Tutoring was not easy, and it never ended fast enough cause people around here don't like listening to what I say.
"Okay... what is the 14th amendment about?" I asked him.
"Umm... uh... well... it's... uh..."
I shook my head as I tried to hold my frustration inside. We literally just went over it. How did he just forget? He must be retarded.
"The 14th amendment states that all states must provide equal protection to all people. It also defines what citizenship is." I said annoyed.
"Oh I knew that..." He said and chuckled.
"So why didn't you answer it!?"
"Sorry Camille... I'm just not... I'm just not into this history bullshit."
"I guess you're not into graduating high-school either."
"It's not that, it's just that-"
Suddenly, my cell phone started ringing. Who the hell was hitting up my cell phone while I was working!? I quickly checked it and would you know... it was Tyrese. Of course that boy couldn't wait to hit me up and start yelling at me. But, it could also be about Imani so I had to take this.
"Sorry. I got to take this, its urgent." I said getting up.
"It's alright Ms. Attitude. I'm tired of this history shit anyways." Xavier said.
I rolled my eyes and opened his front door, closed it and took the call.
"What's up Tyrese?" I said aggravated
.
"What's up boo? I missed you." He said.
I did a heavy sigh. He was not sweet-talking me now... He always does this shit to me.
"Tyrese... just tell me what's on your damn mind so I can go back to tutoring this boy."
"What you say?" He responded.
I frozed. Why, why, why, why, WHY did say that!? I knew trouble was about to come. And it was about to come right about now.
"Tyrese honey..." I said trying to sweet talk him myself now. "You know I tutor and I-"
"You never told me you be tutoring some other damn boys!"
"Tyrese! We're not even doing anything! We're just-"
"You fucking with him aren't you!?"
Now, why in the world would I do some crazy shit like that? I would be the actual retarded one now!
"Tyrese! Why the fuck would I do some silly shit like that!?"
"Just shut up hoe! I knew you was a useless bitch! You always making me so mad at you!"
"Tyrese! Relax! Just relax..." I paused and took a deep breath. He was over thinking things too much. How could this boy think I would cheat on his ass? He must be crazy.
"How can I relax when my girl is fucking cheating on me!?" He yelled.
"Tyrese, damn! I'm not cheating on you! Now shut up with that sillyness!"
"Don't you even dare yell at me you slut! Watch what the fuck happens now when I see you again!" He then abruptly hanged up on me.
My whole body tensed up but at the same time, I felt my eyes get weaker and weaker. My temperature roused up and my feelings began to hurt, rushing down my wet eyes and my flushed cheeks. I couldn't stand my life anymore! Why couldn't he just understand me!
I quickly ran back into Xavier's place, opening his door abruptly. I rapidly began picking up all my papers, pens and my bag.
"Yo, what's going on? I heard yelling!" Xavier said startled
"Nothing! Stay out of it! Mind your own business!"
"Yo chill! Where you going?"
"I'm sorry..." I said choking up with tears as I looked at him with my wet tears. "But I can't... I can't... I can't..." I began to cry. I was such a baby. I didn't know what to do with myself anymore.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What's with the tears? Tell me what's up?"
I got my sad-self up and headed out the door after I had all my belongings in my bag.
"Camille wait! Wait! Tell me what's wrong?" Xavier said trying to catch up to me.
"Leave me alone!" I screamed in tears.
"Keep your money! I can't study with you now!" I then ran down the stairs.
"Wait! Come back! Come back!" Xavier called out to me.
But I fully ignored him. I was out the building and I ran out fast. I couldn't stand why Tyrese would do this to me. Did he not trust me!? Did he not love me!? Why does he always does this!? WHY? That boy always seemed to get the best of me... and I was stupid to allow him to do so; stupid as ever.