Chapter 48: Reconciliation
Victoria Abbel's Point of View
I kicked the car wheel as hard as I can.
Why now? Naibulong ko na lang ito sa aking sarili. Parang sunod-sunod na yata ang kamalasan na nangyayari sakin ngayon. Last week it was when Trevor and I argued. I don't even want to talk about it. It will only make me furious. And since then, I've been avoiding Trevor.
Now, my car tire is flat. Napahawak na lang ako sa aking bewang at habang tinitingnan ang flat na gulong ng aking kotse. Napatingin na rin ako sa aking relo, mas lalo lang akong malilate kung titigan ko lang ito. I opened the trunk of the car and get the spare tire, jack, and lug wrench.
Good thing that the car stopped away from the traffic. Changing the tires won't be difficult. Dad taught us how to change the tires, I used to complain a lot. I didn't know that I could use what he taught me now. I appreciate my dad even more. He taught me a lot of things that are useful for everyday life. Too bad that I was mean to him these past few years. Honestly, I kinda missed him. I should move faster so I can be home right away.
When I'm still busy loosening the lug nuts, I heard a car horn sound. Napatingin naman ako kung kanino nangaling ang busina na iyon.
"Hey, do you need some help?" I frown my forehead when I saw Trevor's manager. Nakababa ang bintana ng kotse at nakasilip ang kanyang ulo sa labas.
"Ah no, do I look like someone who needs help?" I didn't mean to sound rude. Ngunit dahil may nakikita akong related kay Trevor ay sadyang mabilis lang akong mairita. Siguro dahil hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin nawawala sa akin ang pinagusapan namin nung nakaraang linggo. He totally just said to forget about it. Deep down I know it's not something to forget about. I mean, isn't it normal to talk about problems? Pero mukhang sinasarili lang ito ng aking nobyo.
Maybe he thinks that I'm still a kid that couldn't even handle problems! Trevor might not notice but I saw him always on edge and ignoring phone calls from I-don't-know-who. When he came back from his concert, he was irritated. He tried to mask it by trying to be sweet to me but it just keep on getting out of hand. Is this dating life? Fuck it.
"Mukha naman na kailangan mo ng tulong." Tumingin si Nigel sa akin mula sa aking paa pataas sa aking ulo. Lalo ko lang itong kinunotan ng noo.
"What are you staring at? First time mo lang ba nakakita ng babae nagpapalit ng gulong habang nakadress?" Bumalik na lang ako sa aking ginagawa. Narinig ko ang biglang pagtawa niya at ang pagbukas ng pinto ng sasakyan.
"Actually, yes. You're just so peculiar. Besides, wala ka nang magagawa. Tutulungan na kita. It's so hard to just left you alone here while trying to fix something." Naramdaman ko ang pag lakad niya palapit sa pwesto ko at kinuha ang spare tire.
"Okay, whatever," I said and we started changing the tire. Dahil nasa labas kami ay ramdam na ramdam ko ang init ng araw. Nigel is also sweating bullets right now. He's wearing a sky-blue polo and black slacks. His hair is now damp because of the sweat.
"Ginusto mo 'yan. Now suck it up." Sabi ko sa kanya habang tinitingnan ang pawis na nagsisimula nang pumatak sa kanyang mukha. Nakita ko naman ang pag ngisi at pag iling niya.
"I'm not complaining."
"Mabuti naman."
Nigel almost do all of the work. Wala man lang akong narinig na pagrereklamo mula sa kanya.
"Why you're not with Trevor?" Tanong nito sa akin habang pinagtutulungan namin ilagay ang pinalitan na tire sa likod ng aking kotse.
"Dapat ba palagi na lang kami magkasama?"
"Why do you answer a question by asking another question?" He sounded as if he was amused. I frown.
"Nothing. Let's just change the subject. What are you even doing here?"
"For your information Miss Stanislaski, this road is the way to the studio." I almost cringe when he mentioned my surname. Hindi ako sanay na tinawag na ganito.
"Just call me Victoria and not by my surname. It made me cringe to the bones. And this road also leads to my house. I have to go there as early as possible." Dad texted me that I should visit the house. And also mayroon daw kaming pupuntahan kaya pinapapunta niya ako sa bahay. Wala naman akong ginagawa kaya ko ito pinaunlakan.
"Bakit naman hindi? That's part of your name. You're a Stanislaski, right?"
"Yep. Obviously."
"You must be lucky then." He shook his head and laughed to himself as if he found everything amusing.
"Paano mo naman nasabi? I don't feel that I'm lucky." Nagkibit balikat na lang ako. Is being a Stanislaski such a big deal?
"Of course, as expected from someone who's born rich. I think your life is already planned without worrying about finances. And don't say money can't buy happiness, that line usually is said by rich people like you." The light and comfortable atmosphere started to get heavy. I don't know where he's coming from.
"Wala naman ako balak sabihin 'yan." I tried dismissing him but his focus wasn't on me. He's now cleaning his hands using a handkerchief. Napatingin na lang ako sa ginagawa niya. My hands also felt dirty for changing the tires.
"I bet you even get away from everything with your money."
"You bet." Instead of throwing a fit, I just gave him a smug laugh. I don't want to argue. Maybe I'm lucky to be born into this family and I can't do anything about it. But most of the people don't know the horror that lies within our family. I came from old money, so what? I can't blame my parents for trying so hard to earn money so their kids won't suffer anymore.
"I guess you have a narrow perspective about rich people, Nigel." Napasandal ako sa aking kotse habang matiim na nakatingin sa kanyang mukha. There is nothing familiar about him. I wonder where he came from or why he suddenly become the manager of the band. His name doesn't even ring a bell. I know a lot of people and Nigel wasn't one of them.
"Isn't it constant partying, lobbying, creating and throwing more money?" I unconsciously folded my arms to my chest and raised an eyebrow.
"It's an ideal world, Nigel. In reality, rich people are locked in their offices and busy checking emails." I told him and remember my cousins and brothers who are now busy in their line of work. They don't even have a life of their own. They are all pretending to be happy because they are hostages of their own success. They are in constant competition trying to place at the top of the tops.
Nabalot kami ng katahimikan. Siguro ay dahil parehas kaming hindi alam ang sasabihin. Napatingin na lang ako sa bagong palit na gulong ng aking sasakyan.
"I was planning on buying you coffee for helping me change the tires but I have a feeling that you don't like me." Nakita ko ang pagiling niya na para bang may iba pang tumatakbo sa kanyang isipan.
"It's not like I dislike you. You're just giving me the spoiled brat vibe." I almost choke from my own saliva.
"For the record, I am a spoiled brat just like you said." He laughs at my remarks. As if he couldn't contain his laughter anymore.
"Why are you so honest? You're so different." I shrug my shoulders.
"I'm different. I've always been me." Bumaling ang tingin niya sa akin. Giving me a meaningful look.
"I'm going to accept your invitation. Let's go and grab some coffee."
***
When Nigel accepted my invitation, he was the one who decided to where we will have our coffee. Hindi ko naman akalain na sa mismong studio nila kami magkakape. In the ground floor, there are different shops that are lined up. Pumasok kaming dalawa sa loob at dumiretso ako para umorder. When I placed our order, Nigel looked for an empty seat.
"Here's your black coffee." Ibinaba ko ang tray at umupo sa harapan ni Nigel. I placed my frappe in front of me and started drinking. I just want to finish this right at this instant and leave. This coffee shop is where most of the employees of Trevor's label get their coffee. Someone's bound to spot us but I just didn't expect that Trevor will see us together.
I was surprised to see Trevor, walking straight to our table. His eyebrows frowning, eyes full of confusion when looking at me and Nigel. Bigla akong nanigas sa aking pwesto dahil sa paraan ng pagtitig nito sa akin. He looked like he wanted an explanation of what I am doing in his studio.
Shit.
"So this is where I can find you." He said, bland and even. I barely heard him since I was busy watching Trevor slide the chair back so he can sit beside me.
"Hey Trevor, didn't expect you to go here in the coffee shop." Sabi ni Nigel habang matiim na nakatingin kay Trevor. He sips his coffee without hurry.
"Same here. I just happened to spot my very own girlfriend without informing me." I almost choked from the frappe that I am drinking. Bumaling naman ang tingin ni Trevor sa akin at pinagmasdan ako nang matagal. Umiwas ako ng tingin sa kanya dahil hanggang ngayon ay ayaw ko pa rin siyang makita. Ignoring him for days is the only way of telling him that he's in the wrong. I hate being left in the dark and him doing it make things worse.
"I helped Tori change her car tire and now she's treating me coffee in return." I saw how Trevor nodded, he doesn't even look surprised. He still looked calm. But what caught my attention is how Nigel pronounced my name with familiarity. When I started to get uncomfortable, I grabbed my frappe and get up from my seat.
"I have to go." Hindi ko na hinintay ang sasabihin nilang dalawa at agad akong umalis. Dumiretso ako sa aking sasakyan nang hindi tumitingin sa aking likuran. I opened my car door but someone just closed it again.
"Leave me alone," I muttered.
"Stop ignoring me already," Trevor said, a little out of breath. I glared at him.
"Tapos ano? You'll try to dismiss me again just like what you did last time?" I looked at him, arching my eyebrows. Pero habang tinititigan ko si Trevor ngayon ay hindi ko akalin na makakramdam ako nang pagkamiss dito. Did I miss him so much that I couldn't control my feelings and have this urge to hug him right now? With all the remaining energy I have left, I restrain myself from doing that. I heard him inhale sharply.
"I'm sorry for that, Tori. I sounded like a jerk."
"Will you tell me now what was it all about? That day when you snapped at me?" I was eager to know. He studied me for a long time.
"It's nothing, Tori. Really. It's just that... your love for me is overwhelming and I'm afraid that I can't reciprocate it." Mas lalo lang kumunot ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi niya. There is doubt in his voice but he continued.
"I don't know if I am doing the right thing for you." Trevor looked vaguely disoriented. And I am starting to believe that Trevor might be worrying about our relationship too. He might look self-centered but he's thinking about our sake.
"You've been in love with me since you were a kid and you never failed to show it to me. Alam ko naman 'yon. I am worried because I don't know how to give it back. Everything is just new to me. I am still in the process of figuring things out."
"You're doing well, Trevor. You don't have anything to worry about. Tsaka bakit ngayon mo lang ito sinabi? You should have told me about these when I was at your place and not dismissed when I demanded an explanation."
"Because I don't know how to put it in words at that time. I'm sorry if you felt like I am dismissing you. It's not my intention to hurt you." He sounded almost concerned.
"Okay," I saw his expression light up.
"Okay?" He repeated slowly.
"I accept your apology." Trevor finally looked relieved. His mouth widened into a slow grin.
"But if something is bothering you, you can tell me right away Trevor. I am your girlfriend."
"Yes, Ma'am. Now, can I hug you? I miss you so much." Tumango naman ako kaagad. He hurriedly pulled me into his arms and embrace me.
"Where is the car tire that Nigel helped you to fix?" He whispered into my ears. Iniangat ko ang ulo ko para makita ang mukha ni Trevor. Akala ko ay nagbibiro lang ito pero napaka seryoso ng kanyang mukha.
"Huh? What for?" Tanong ko naman kahit hanggang ngayon ay nakahawak pa rin ako sa kanyang bewang. We're too close to each other.
"I want to change it myself."
"Trevor! Are you for real?"
"Show me." Napailing na lang ako dahil mukhang hindi na siya magpapapigil.
"Okay fine," Napangiti na lang ako sa pinapakita niya.
"Treat me something else after this."
"Whatever, you jealous man."
***