"Y/n, why didn't you give him a chance?" Aaida ask after witnessing you reject another guy confession to you.
"You know I don't believe on love" you sigh at your her.
"You will never know what being in love feel like...if you never let someone in that cold heart of yours" Jaja lightly poke at your heart.
"I'm fine living by myself, girls" you reassure them.
"But you can't live without me right?" Hilmi suddenly come from behind as he rest his arm around your shoulder.
" you wish, dork" you stick your tongue at him.
"Aww come on~ I know you can't stand being away from me even for a second" Hilmi rub your head.
"I think I wanna reconsider our friendship. Aizat, please take this baboon away from me" you said to Aizat who is standing beside Hilmi.
"You're so cruel, y/n! How can you call your own best friend a baboon" Hilmi fake cry.
Ever since school started, Hilmi have been more clingy to you. He have always stick to you like glue back in the years but somehow you notice that he's becoming more affection to you. You don't mind it but it's making you feel weird inside, you don't know what the feeling are but you don't find it uncomfortable.
Now, you are doing study group with the gang. As time pass, your shoulder start to feel sore and Hilmi notice it. He quickly walk behind you and massage your shoulder.
"Wow, Hilmi... Aren't you a kind friend. How about you massage me after y/n" Botol grin while pointing at his back.
"Do it yourself" Hilmi coldly reply Botol.
"How can you be so cold at your friend. Where did the oath 'bros before hoes' gone to'?!" Botol complain.
"Y/n is an exception from that oath" Hilmi state that made everyone exchange looks.
"Hey..Hilmi can you get us some water at the canteen?" Aizat suddenly ask.
"You have feet right. Why don't go by yourself?" Hilmi remarks.
"Come on bro~ the mak cik canteen adore you so I bet she will give you discount" Aizat said that made Hilmi to consider it.
"Then if it's like that, let me friend you...I wanna go buy snacks anyway" you said, standing up.
"Okay!" Hilmi cheerfully agree to go.
"Wait! Y/n stay!!" Jaja suddenly said making you stare at her confusingly.
"What is it Jaja? Do you need anything for me to buy?" You ask.
"No...well...ermm...ah! Please teach me this" Jaja show you, her English textbook.
"Oh! you can ask Aaida that while I go buy some snacks with Hilmi" you said.
"No! I mean...Aaida is busy teaching Aizat mathematic...you're greet in English so please!" Jaja plead.
"Fine.. Hilmi can you help buy me snacks then?" You ask and he gladly accept your request.
After Hilmi left the classroom, Aaida immediately pull you in the middle of their circle. You were surprise and confuse by their suddenly change of behavior.
"What?!" You confusingly stare at them.
"What the hell is going on between you and Hilmi?!" Jaja ask.
"Huh? I don't get it Jaja..." You frown confusingly.
"What do you don't get? You and Hilmi look so close?!" Botol say.
"But aren't me and him always been close? He's my best friend...plus we've been friend since kindergarten" you state.
"Y/n, you don't get it...this closeness between you two is more different than just a friend closeness...there is more to it! Especially Hilmi" Aizat explain.
"Well..I do notice he's gotten more clingy and his affection is more than usual but maybe it just the SPM mood that got him acting this way.." You innocently say that made everyone face palm at your view with Hilmi sudden change.
"He's in love with you, y/n! Don't you see it? It's obvious" Aaida said that made you stare at her then burst into laugh.
"Don't joke around...Hilmi will never like me. He only see me as one of his 'guy friend'" you chuckle.
"No...y/n, you don't understand.... A guy will never act like that to anyone. He only act such a way to the person he like and it seem like Hilmi does that only toward you." Aizat try to make you understand the whole situation.
"I agree!!! Hilmi is totally crushing on you!" Botol agree with Aizat.
"No...that is impossible. Not Hilmi" you said in disbelief.
"Aren't you happy about this, y/n? Hilmi will be such a good guy for you." Jaja happily said.
"No..I'm not" you disagree with her that made everyone there confuse by your answer.
Right at the moment, Hilmi come back from buying snacks and drinks.
"I'm back and Y/n, I bought your favorite snacks" Hilmi happily said.
"You...." You quicken your step towards him making him taken aback by your sudden action.
"What's the matter? Did I took too long? Are you that hungry?" Hilmi ask and was about to pat your head but you slap it away.
"Y/n...what's the matter?" Hilmi confusingly ask.
"You have feeling for me?" You brazenly ask him making everyone gasp in shock.
"how?...well..this isn't how I plan to tell you but yes. I like you, y/n" he shyly smile.
"Stop it" you said making him stare at you questionly.
"Stop having feelings for you?" Hilmi ask you to make sure he guess it right.
"Yes." You said making Hilmi frown.
"But why? Don't you also have the slightest feeling for me too?" Hilmi hoping you will say yes.
"No. I never see you in such way. So you better stop it" you say.
"Seriously, y/n. Don't you even consider how I will feel? Why don't you think about it first? It's still to early to get be certain about it" Hilmi gently said.
"I don't want to think anything that include loving someone. Plus, I never ask you to fall for me. You better stop it before it's..." You stop your sentence after Hilmi throw the plastic of snacks behind you.
"Stop asking me to stop my feelings for you! Do you think it easy for me to stop liking you after years?! Do you think my heart have a pause button for it to stop just like that?! Can't you just give it a thought before saying stuff that can hurt my feelings? Why can't you be more consider on how your words can affect me?" Hilmi frustratedly clench his teeth.
"You shouldn't have fallen for me in the first place if this is what will happen." You glare at him.
"Arghh!! Y/n! You!!! Ah!!!!" Hilmi frustratedly point at you before kicking a chair that was place beside him.
Aizat quickly went in the middle you two before it gets ugly.
"Aaida..Jaja quickly take y/n back to your dorm before Hilmi lost it" Aizat said.
They both quickly pack your stuff and pull you away from there.
"Seriously Hilmi! What the hell was that for!" Aizat was about to scold Hilmi but stop after seeing his state.
"I don't know...I just lost it for a second...I must have scared her... But why....why does she have to be so cold?" Hilmi sat down on the floor as he silently began to cry.
"Hilmi...." Botol concernly watch his friend broke down into tears.
"She must have her own reason...sabar Hilmi." Aizat squat down beside Hilmi as he gave him a light pat on the back.
2 week past by since the incident. You distance yourself from Hilmi. You haven't spoke to him nor even spare a look at his direction. Hilmi been feeling depress on those couple of week. He did try to talk to you about it but you will always avoid him making him gave up to even try. The rest try to help you two make up but nothing work. Until the night, you got a call from your parents.
You walk out from your dorm to go take some fresh air to calm your emotion. You just got the news that your parents will get a divorce after fighting with each other for years. You lean on the railway as you slowly slump down to the ground. You silently cried out your sadness about the news. Soon later, you feel a presence taking a sit beside you and you know who it was.
"How did you know I will be here?" You ask, still resting your face on your knees.
"Aaida and Jaja told me. They were worried how you suddenly storm out from the dorm" Hilmi said.
"Why do you even care about it. Don't you hate me?" You said.
"How can I stay put after knowing you act that way and how can I hate the girl I like for years" Hilmi said making you raise your head to face him.
"How can the best student in school be this stupid when it come to love?" You frown.
"I don't know...maybe I just become brainless when it come to you" Hilmi grin.
"My parents is getting a divorce. I storm out because of the news." You told him.
"That not the important part....you...are you feeling okay?" Hilmi ask making your confusingly frown at him.
"How is that not important?! My parent is splitting up!" You shout at him.
"That is their problem. The point here is....are you feeling okay?" Hilmi ask once again the exact question.
"No....I don't. I'm confuse. I'm mad. I'm sad yet relief that this finally happen. I know this will happen but not this soon. I'm such a bad daughter" you cry.
"That is all normal emotion for someone to feel in such situation. You're not a bad daughter. You're just stating the truth of how you feel inside" Hilmi pull you into his warm embrace.
"I don't know what to do now" you buried your face on his shoulder.
"You can think about it later after you calm down. Just focus on releasing all those emotion that have been bothering you" Hilmi whisper making you cry harder.
After you've calm down, you thanked Hilmi for being there to comfort you in your broken state.
"I'm sorry, Hilmi" you apologize.
"You don't need to apologize" Hilmi pat your head.
"I've hurt your feeling. I thought you will resent me and hate me for that day" you said.
"I also want to apologize for getting angry at you. I was completely broken and almost lost it that day. I actually almost hated you for that but Aizat said to me that you must have your reason so I open up my mind to understand why you act that way" Hilmi explain.
"You don't know this but I grew up to hate love due to my parents constant fighting. I stop believing in love because I believe that someday that love will eventually fade and ended up hating each other in the future. I guess I decided to build a big wall when it come to loving someone." You said.
"You should have told me about this" he said.
"It happen long ago.... plus, I don't want you to get worried and get all heroine. I know you will come to my house and burst it all to my parents" you dryly chuckle.
"You know I always got your back, y/n. I always put my all to protect you from pain." Hilmi said.
"I know that is why I'm lucky to have you as my bestfriend" you lightly smile.
"Is there a possibility that the label bestfriend turn into something more than that?" Hilmi ask making you look down.
"Hilmi..." You whisper his name.
"It's okay. I understand that you don't want to. I will try to forget this feelings for you so please don't leave me again and stay as my friend. " Hilmi plead.
"I will try" you said making Hilmi turn his head toward you.
"Try what?" He anticipate your answer.
"Try loving you. I want to try accepting the love you have for me. I want to try feeling the love from you. I want to try being in love. I know it's kinda a bit much to ask but if you willing to...." Before you could finish your sentence, Hilmi pull you into a tight hug.
"Hilmi?" You hug him back.
"You don't know how happy am I to hear that from you" he cry on your shoulder.
"Thanks for being patient with me and always be there for me. I will try hard to understand this feelings of loving you and receiving love from you" you said making him more emotional.
"Thank you for giving me the chance to pamper you with unconditional love" Hilmi said making you nod at his words.