I choose peace. I choose not to address it. I am not here to entertain him. I'm here to confront him. I lick my lips a bit, huffing as my eyes drop to the ground for a good moment, just for me to catch my thoughts.
"Did you, or did you not, put your hands on Banele?"
"Who's Banele?"
"My ex." I answer within a heartbeat, lifting my eyes back to his. "The one I told you about on New Year's. My ex. Did you put your hands on him."
He hums a bit, eyes wandering around with disinterest at what he's looking at. "Depends on the perimeter of your question."
Wow. If the male gender doesn't surprise me every time. I scoff, eyes narrowing at him. "You think you're smart? You know exactly what I am asking you. Did you beat up my ex— you know what? Cancel that question because I know damn well it was you. What right do you think you have, to beat him up? Your senior!"
"My senior?" He scoffs, finding the last nerve to roll his eyes. "That means very little to me."
"You." I shake my head, voice raising in decibels. "You have no respect. Not only for people who are older than you, but people you know nothing about. You think because you're new, you can run this town? What kind of power do you think you possess here? You're a baby! He is a fourth year—"
"Again, that means nothing to me." I can see it on his face. The seriousness. His relaxed features show just how much he isn't phased by this though.
I want to say something. Curse him out maybe. I just pinch my lips together and cover my face, trying by all means to calm my heart and breathing. This isn't even real life. It cannot be. I didn't sign up for this, I have to talk to the author of my story because no way is this how it's going to go down.
"You're still attached to your ex?"
"All this for what, Micah?" First time I breathe his name out in frustration. My eyes even open to look up at him, and I force my entire body not to react to the obviousness that is, he took a step or two closer than where he first was. "Because of what? Your fantasy of me being a mate? All this because of that?" I shake my head with slouched shoulders. It feels like defeat. "You can't go beating people around for no valid reason—"
"You are a valid reason. It's as simple as that." He shrugs. "I've said it before and I'll say it again, as much as I need to, even if it's starting to annoy me. You are my mate. Nothing will change that. That also means, what hurts you will hurt me. What affects you will affect me. What threatens you is potentially threatening me. This includes your exes, you friends. Your family. All the lot."
Oh. He really is crazy.
I have to close my eyes at the never wavering eye contact. He isn't letting up and it's obvious he won't back down. My eyes pressed closed and I take a deep breath to calm myself.
"He hurt you that day. He had all the time to apologise to you, the very least. He failed to do that. What makes you think I'd just let him roam about like he's mighty? He needed to learn a lesson."
"You beat him up—"
"So I roughened him up a bit. Big deal. He's a big boy, like he claims. A few taps on the face can't be that bad. It's not my intention to kill him, anyway, so what's the big deal, mate?"
"The big—" I pause, taking in air of surprise when I notice him quite close to me now, eyes piercing down at me. "The big deal, is you are becoming too much of a nuisance for somebody your age. For somebody who started university. Not only will you cause enemies for yourself but for me as well. People will think I sent you to do that. People will give you hell because of what you did. That's the big deal. You're making my life difficult as it is. It's one thing annoying me to the last degree, but this? This is pushing it. I told you I want nothing to do with this but you keep—"
"Gertrude." Why? Why does my body react to the way he says my name? Why do I slowly feel the control of my own body slip to numbness? His lips pull to a smile. Not too big. "Was I not clear? That this is forever? That there's nothing you can say or do that will change my mind, even if I wanted to change my own mind? I'd be damned if that ex of yours thinks he can bring people to harass you for what I did." His eyes drop to my lips for a good moment before gazing back into my eyes. "Then I'd really kill him, and set an example."
The amount of shock, frustration and the slightest bit of fear I have makes me take in a deep breath before exhaling through my nose, eyes pressing shut to make sense of what the hell this boy is even saying to me.
"I want to be clear about something else." Gosh, he is so close. I think I can feel his body heat radiating off of him and onto me. "Mate. Look up. Look at me." I refuse. I don't shake my head, I don't even say anything. I remain stagnant. "Gertrude." Again, the tingles form out of nothing and skate down my back; I clench my hands on either side of me. His voice holds an authority I can't pinpoint, nor can I fathom where he finds the audacity to call me like he owns me.
I don't think I could have seen it coming from a mile away. How suddenly, his hand is on my neck in a firm hold, and the length between his index and thumb lifts my jaw up. My eyes burst open as my lips simultaneously part enough for my gasp to tease the both of our ears. My hand grips onto his wrist.
The aura is dark almost. Tiny strips of grey point at his pupils as his hooded eyes glare at me — the strands of raven can't hide his gaze this time. The rest of his facial features are soft, yet everything is said in his eyes. Nothing else gives away the dominating aura from his face but his eyes. It's almost scary, and certainly has my stomach clenched.
I don't know what it is, but much like every other confrontation with him, I'm almost completely frozen before him. I can't move my legs if I want to, I can't move anything but my hands, and even they feel the weight of moving under his gaze.
Gone was my bravery for some reason. Every single time, it thins out to absolutely nothing, and I'm in his control. Whatever I thought, about possibly smacking him across his face? It all leaves with my dignity. I'm under his control, never mind the fact that he is technically a child in comparison to me.
"It's obvious how much he still has an impact on you. Even after what he did, said, you're still emotionally attached to him." His voice has dropped a decibel or two. I'm blinking up at him as his face is bent down to reach my height. "Now, I can be reasonable and allow you the time to get over him, or I can beat every cell out of him until I'm certain you want nothing to do with him. Thing is, I'm not heartless, I'm just possessive what's mine. And what is mine, is currently more concerned about a worthless person than what should be considered, her entire life. You're my mate. It's my job to protect you, and you shouldn't be making it difficult for either one of us, unless you want to have a personal experience of what happens when I'm upset. I'll ask— hmm, I'll tell you, just this once, to stay away from him. For the sake of all of us."
So I'm there shaking my head at him, gulping a lump of saliva and finding whatever courage inside of me to speak. "You can't... you can't tell me what to do." I am hearing him, but the sense in what he is saying is, I cannot fathom.
He smiles a bit, hand squeezing my neck for a second to emphasise otherwise. "Obviously. You're human, so your submission won't come easy compared to... quite literally, everyone else in my pack. Which is why I'm having this conversations with you right now about this. I'm not forcing anything... yet."
"I'm older than you." I mutter. "I'm your senior. You're supposed to be respecting me and listening to me, not the other way round."
"You're my mate. All of my respect belongs to you. But that should apply to you as well. It's the little things, mate. Like, when I tell you to stay away from your ex, you shouldn't be hesitant nor should it be difficult. What do you need him for that your own mate doesn't have?" Now, as if he contemplated before finally making up his mind, I feel his unoccupied hand shift past my hip to the small of my back, and then slip past my shirt and creates the bone chilling skin contact I think I could have ever received. It stops on the other side of my waist, almost embracing my lower back but not quite pulling me closer towards him. "And when I tell you to look at me, Gertrude, I expect you to do just that. No hesitation. It's very important that you do that."
Finally, I ask it. "What... what are you doing? To me? Why do I always... what is this?"
"It's called submission to your mate." He smirks. "It has nothing to do with what I can do. It has everything to do with what you can't." With the hand around my throat, he pulls me closer to his face as he lowers his face more towards mine. Our noses basically run against each other. All I see is him; our breaths mingle together. My eyes are wide at his slightly narrowed ones. I don't even have to look at his lips to know the corners are pulled to a smirk. "I hope I've made myself clear, mate. The next time, I'll just prove my point. There are some things I don't mind repeating until the end of time, but this? Him? Can never be one of them."
Coward. That's what I am. The ground can have a go at me at this point. Forget being his mate, it seems I'm his slave and that's a bad look for him. I'm black, his ancestors were probably slave owners and it looks like history is starting to repeat itself with the two of us.
I gulp. After that. I close my eyes. After that, I anxiously wait for a hero to come and save me. My crying made him leave me on the balcony the first time. My dad saved me with his walking stick the second time, when he forced his kiss on me. I screamed bloody murder the third time. Keenan saved me the fourth time in the botanical garden. Now?
No one is here to save me. I've got no will power to scream. I've got no one coming to save me. I'm in the lion's den, but at least the lion was honest and straight up said it would eat me. I didn't have to do all the chasing and escaping because here I am, firmly trapped in his cage until he sees fit.
"Oh, mate." He mutters softly, and I can feel his breath fan against my lips right before the faint tingles of his own lips brush up against mine. I think I've fully frozen at this point, that I can't even open my eyes to stare at him in shock.
His lips graze against the side of my face, right across my cheek to the joint of my jaw, where his thumb lightly rubs, before he tilts my head more and places a firm, toe curling peck underneath. Right there, close to where my pulse is under my jaw, right below the area where the skin of my jaw meets the skin of my neck. That's where he places his kiss. Firm, so I know I'll feel it long after this is over, but soft to create gut clenching butterflies in my stomach that for the first time after the breakup, I no longer have resentment or even anger towards males. Towards him, Micah. It's like he knows exactly where to kiss; even more, it's like he knows exactly how I'd react, like he anticipated it.
For the life of me, forgetting that he is a child and this could possibly be some sort of pedophilia, my jaw slags as a shaky, almost breathless gasp passes through me. My hand tightens it's grip on his wrist, all whilst my legs seem to no longer find the need to keep me up. They do, but my knees buckle. Now, like he really did anticipate my body suddenly becoming lighter, the very same hand on my waist pulls me closer to him. Not too close where I could potentially suffocate more than the restriction his hand has on my throat, but enough to give off a sense of... strength? Power? Almost like he is showing me he has a protection over me, even from myself.
Never mind gulping saliva, I feel like I could choke on my own tongue at this point. I've never felt that before, and for some reason, I find myself getting upset with Banele all over again, except this time it's because he could have been the one to kiss me like this silly boy is. He could have done this to me, for me. We could have been this intimate, without having to naked at all.
He meant it, even as I find myself not believing him still; 'wolves' thrive on physical contact, and if I believed the folklore, I'd honestly accept whatever fate his so called Moon Goddess has. If this is what mates are about, I can gladly accept this without so much as a complaint. If it was real. Micah makes me feel more with the light touches than Banele did, when I was under him. It terrifies me. I don't even know him; I find him partially revolting yet he finds every moxie to make me submit to him without even trying.
Just like that, he pulls away from me completely. His warmth, gone. His hands, gone. Everything of his is distant from me. I hear him chuckle a bit which makes me open eyes hooded eyes to look at him. He has a dirty grin on his face as his eyes dart down my body.
"I think it's best you stay in here and cool off for a moment. Other wolves will smell you, and I don't want to have to cause a scene, this beautiful Monday afternoon."
Right after saying that, I feel sensation come back into my body. My feet feel like they are out of their vegetable state. My heart is audible, pounding in my ears. My tensed up body, I now notice. I refuse to let this be the effect he has on me. I am way older than him. I've lived longer than he has. I am an independent woman who is possibly still hung up on her ex. He can't do this to me and think this is okay. I could possibly get jail time for this if somebody logical knew.
I lick my lips a bit before inhaling. "You have to stay away from me, Micah. This is not right. I don't... it does not make sense. I am older than you, I could be your sister or something. I am not your lover, so you have no right to do this to me or tell me what to do. You can't threaten me. This cannot happen again. You cannot beat up people you don't know. What I go through is none of your business, and I made the mistake of even telling you in the first place. This will be the last time we discuss this. I am being serious." I lick my lips again. "I am not a mate, nor am I your mate. I don't believe in that, and at this point, I worry this fictional concept you believe in will make you do unthinkable things."
At first, Micah is completely still. Face is nonchalant, you'd think he seems almost lifeless. Not a muscle moves as he digests what I have just expressed. But when he does, he blinks his eyes first, before biting the corner of his bottom lip, almost as if trying by all means to stop himself from grinning. He then runs both hands through the raven strands which all goes in vain since they tumble back into position.
The silence between us is almost piercing. He remains quiet intentionally, almost like he wants me to think of what I just said and tell him I was just joking. Meanwhile, I have my breath held in, anticipating his next move.
"Gertrude... mate."
"I'm not your mate."
He then slowly rounds me until he is behind me. His hand reaches over my shoulder from behind until his hand grabs hold of my chin, then tilts my head to the side. I feel him place another soft peck exactly where the first location was. I'm prepared, since I am holding my breath and I've caged my bottom lip between the rows of my teeth. It doesn't stop those stupid butterflies.
"Let that be the last time I hear you say that, as well."
I don't say anything. I just impatiently wait for him to completely let go of me, which he does. I then hear his footsteps a bit before the door is open.
"A minute, and then you can leave." He suggests, before finally, I'm left between the four walls, all by myself and my thoughts.
As if for the first time, like a new born baby, I breathe properly. I don't cry, though. No, no.
This time? I scream.