Honesty is the best policy.
They sat on edge of the bed, eating their sandwiches with great succession.
"So where have you been?" She asked quietly. Derek frowned. "Mark didn't tell you?" He asked. She shook her head. He sighed, no wonder she hadn't come looking for him. "I went to D.C" he said. She raised her eyebrows. "You took the job?" She asked, surprised. He nodded. "It's a really great project" he said, trying to not show my emotion.
"Oh- well that's good- not that you left me- but- that you're happy" she said nervously. He shook his head. "Not happy, not without you" he said.
"But you left. You vanished. You didn't return my calls or anything"
"I was hurt"
She paused, trying not to get angry.
"We're you angry I got chief?" She asked. He shook his head.
"No, I was happy for you" he said
"It didn't feel like it" she shrugged as she picked at her fingers. He sighed, tugging on his hair.
"I wanted you to get the job, ask Lexie. I said that if I'd have got the job, I'd have give it to you. I wanted you to have it. I wanted D.C, I just-"
"What?" She asked quietly.
"I didn't want to leave you. I'd have settled for just a neurosurgeon if it meant we could still be together. A-and then you lied and I didn't see a point, it felt like there was no us. So I went to D.C"
"Do you like it there?" She asked quietly. He just shrugged. "It's a good project, I love it, but I only love the job, not the place, it's pretty lonely" he explained. She nodded.
"I didn't lie, I just didn't tell the truth" she sighed. "What truth? None of this is making sense" he sighed. She looked down at her hands, fiddling with her fingers.
"I've never told anyone about this, not even Lexie or Izzie" she said quietly. He grabbed her hand. "You can trust me" he smiled at her. She nodded. "I know I can, I love you" she whispered as tears filled her eyes. He squeezed her hands.
"My mom's Ellis Grey, the surgeon" she said quietly. "She taught me my intern year. I remember her" Derek said. Meredith looked to him. "What did you think of her?" Meredith asked curiously. "Honestly? Scary, rude, scary, strict, did I mention scary?" He joked which made her laugh. "Yeah, that's her" she giggled.
"Is she a good mom?" He asked curiously. "No. She never has been" Meredith said quietly. "She left me on my own after my dad left. I was only 5" she shrugged. "It sounds like you had a terrible childhood" he looked to her. She nodded slowly.
"My mom and Richard had an affair that broke up my parents marriage. Then Richard went back to his wife and left me and my mom alone. After that..." she paused for a moment as she rested her elbows on her knees. "It's okay, Meredith. You can talk to me about it" he said as he rubbed her back.
"Derek, my mother slit her wrists in front of me when I was five years old. It's never okay to talk about it" she said suddenly. There, the secrets out.
"Meredith-" he looked to her in shock. "I tried calling the ambulance but she told me not to. I waited until she passed out and then I called 911" she continued to explain. "After that I pretty much raised myself. She had some sort of resentment towards me, like I got in the way of her career. Surgery was her life, and I was just a girl who needed a family"
"Do you find it hard to trust people?" Derek asked, their argument and her closed-off approach to their relationship finally making sense. She nodded. "It's not that I don't trust you, I just don't trust that you won't leave. And you did"
He nodded as he listened. "I'm so sorry. If I had know-" he shook his head. "I'm sorry" he whispered. "You were allowed to be mad, I didn't tell you so you couldn't have known. I think I'd have run too"
"You talk about your mom in the past tense" Derek noted. She tensed a little and swallowed the lump in her throat.
"She has Alzheimer's" Meredith said quietly. Derek sat back in shock. "Meredith-" he said but stopped himself. "How advanced?" He asked carefully. "Bad. She's in a home and I'm the only one that kno-" she began to grow panicked. "Meredith" he said a little louder. She stopped and looked to him.
"I'm so sorry all this happened to you" he hugged her suddenly and she could feel herself relax in her arms. A few minutes passed before he pulled away.
"I'm sorry that I ran. I should have stayed" he whispered as he rested his forehead on hers. "I'm so happy you got Chief" he smiled. "I should have told you at least that I knew Richard. We fought an unfair fight. You deserved an equal chance and a better girlfriend" she said sadly.
"I've got a pretty perfect girlfriend" he whispered. She looked at him for a moment, surprised by his response before her smile was wiped by him gently kissing her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck as they kissed passionately. "I love you" he whispered as he pulled away but he pulled her back. "I love you more" she said breathlessly. "Not possible" he mumbled before kissing her again.
She moaned as they fell back against the bed. "Mmm- Meri-" he groaned as he felt her lift his shirt. "We shouldn't, not after last night" he said but she wrapped her leg around him. She pulled away for a moment. "I really need to feel someone other than him. It's all I can feel right now. I need you, Derek" she said quietly.
He sighed. "I don't want to take advantage" he said. "You're not" she tried to reason. "You're still vulnerable" he countered. "I'm not like a glass vase, I'm not going to break. I just need to feel something other than him" she said as she grew frustrated. "Don't you just want to lay down and cry?" He asked but she shook her head. "Take off your shirt" she said as she reached for the hem.
She could see him hesitate. "You tell me what to do, you're in complete control, Sweetheart" he whispered. She nodded. "Thankyou" she said before pulling his shirt away along with hers.
His eyes scanned her body for a moment. "You're so beautiful" he whispered as he gently kissed her neck, careful not to aggravate her bruises. "So gorgeous" he moaned against the shell of her ear.
She shuddered as she tugged on his shorts, throwing them to the floor. He carefully brought them up the bed and laid her down gently.
She reached for his cock and slowly stroked him, enticing a low growl from his chest. She kept her hand there for a little while, her mind flashing back to the night before.
"Meredith" she heard him say but her mind felt like it couldn't stop the thoughts. "No, Meredith. You're not comfortable. Let's not do this" he said as he pulled away from her.
She was snapped out her thoughts when he pulled away and he sat back. "It not that i- I just- I need to feel something- I-" she was irritated with herself. She wanted him so badly. "I want to help you but I don't know how" he whispered as he grabbed her hand.
He tried to think when suddenly she sat up and searched through an old bag that she'd left here. "What are you doing?" He asked as he watched her. "Well if I can't have sex then I can at least have an orgasm" she mumbled before getting what she needed.
"A vibrator?" He raised his brow as he watched her settle back on the bed a spread her legs. She giggled at his shocked expression before turning it to the lowest setting. "Touch me, Derek" she moaned quietly. He hesitated as he laid next to her and gently trailed his hand up and down her body.
"That feels good" she gasped under his touch as he gently rolled her nipple between his thumb and finger. "Are you comfortable?" He asked. She nodded. "Yes" she sighed happily as her body was consumed with pleasure. "May I?" He asked as he rested his hand over hers. She nodded and handed him the vibrator.
He gently located her clit as she screamed. "So good, Derek" she moaned loudly as she closed her eyes and reached for his cock before slowly pumping it. "Y-you don't have to, sweetheart" he groaned as she tightened her grip. "I'm so close" she whispered as he turned it up another level.
"Me too" he groaned. He felt her body begin its routine shake before she came against the vibrator, her body jerking as she released. "Fuck" she gasped as her orgasmic haze began to clear. "That was-" he shook his head in disbelief. "Such a good orgasm" she said breathlessly as she lifted her head slightly and took his cock into her mouth by surprise.
"Fuck, Meri" he groaned as she slowly sucked. He knew the moment she tightened her lips that he was a gonner. He gripped his own thighs, trying not to grip onto her as he came in her mouth with a low groan. "Meredith" she gasped breathlessly as he watched her suck him clean.
She smiled at him before collapsing against the sheet as Derek pulled the comforter back over them. "Was that okay?" He asked quietly. She nodded. "Not the same feeling as you inside me, but perfect for now. Thank you" she smiled before kissing him. He hummed. "No, thank you"
He watched him yawn and frowned. "When did you go to sleep?" She asked curiously when suddenly she remembered. "You haven't slept all night?!" She exclaimed. "I was awake and then you called and then I just went straight to my flight" he mumbled as he closed his eyes and so did she.
"I'm so tired" she whispered as she cuddled into his chest. "Let's sleep for the rest of the day" he suggested and she nodded.
"Love you"
"Love you too"