After Maxim left, I sat down on my couch and cried for who knows how long in nothing but a towel. I was so desperate and vulnerable that it was ridiculous. Why did I allow myself to get so attached to her? I should've known better. She told me from the beginning about how much she loved Gloria and that she would just forget me if needed if Gloria offered a chance to reconcile their relationship. She said that but yet still agreed to take me on that stupid date and continued to call me pet names. My parents even got to like her and my friends began liking her more than they did before. Everyone had gotten so use to Maxim being around or me being with Maxim and so had I. Now all of that was changing. She was gone and back with Gloria. Part of me understood her wanting to have a family with Gloria and Ivo, but I just wished she could do that without actually being with Gloria. Even if I didn't agree or feel great about her going back to her ex-fiancée, I wasn't going to stoop to any low levels to get her back and neither was I going to beg for her back.
By the end of the day, our breakup was publicized. Maxim's team made it seem like the breakup was mutual and talked about days ahead. Most people didn't believe that although because of our appearance on the Joy Evers show. We seemed way to vibrant and 'in love' to be thinking about a breakup, but whether anyone believed it or not the news was out and everyone wanted a piece of information. Since Maxim had gotten me my own publicist, the publicist had called me and enthused about all the calls she was getting. People wanted to do interviews with me, and she was willing to schedule them since her contract with me didn't end until two months from now. I politely declined. I wasn't ready to openly talk about Maxim and I wasn't willing to badmouth her. She may have hurt me, but it wasn't intentional. She was just f-cking stupid.
The week after the 'breakup' was filled with lots of alcohol consumption. I ignored calls from my parents, my friends and anyone else in between. I didn't want to talk to anyone but my drug dealer, Jacob. He would come over and do house visits. Jacob would give me drugs or anything else I may need from a store since he was such a nice guy. If it wasn't for him constantly checking on me and asking me if I needed anything, then I probably would've lost it fully. I had already lost my mind partially, or at least part of me. Ever since I saw Maxim in bed with Gloria, I've felt as part of me was missing. I felt so empty and I really didn't care if I died or lived. It was genuinely depressing. So on the eighth day of not having any social interaction with anyone except for Jacob, I decided to invite my friends over. They were worried, extremely. They've came to my apartment multiple times just knocking on the door, only for me to ignore them.
When my friends came over, they brought tons of food for emotional support and movies that we could watch. From the way they looked at me, I could tell that they were still concerned about me. After a week of constant drinking and cocaine snorting, I already knew I looked far from a beauty queen. Thankfully, no one said anything about my appearance. They just gave me sincere smiles and asked me what movie I wanted to watch. I looked through all of the DVDs. "If I was you, I would pick Bridesmaids," Memphis said as she gave me a nod.
Denim instantly scoffed. "Did you just get dumped? I think not! Let her choose! She finally let us into her place and you're trying to get us kicked back out."
I laughed a little. The first time I had laughed at someone that wasn't on the television screen in days. "I wouldn't kick you guys out. I need you guys to help cheer me up," I said as I finally picked out a movie that I felt like watching. "Scary Movie 2," I announced which caused a groan from Memphis. She hated that movie, which is why I picked it. I enjoyed seeing my friends in pain. Hearing Memphis moan and complain about how stupid the movie was for the next hour or two was going to bring some happiness to my soul. "Cheer up, Memphis. It's like the best movie out of the whole franchise!"
"The new ones are sh-tty," Kahlo backed me up before stuffing her face with a handful of Cheetos. "The first one and this one are the funniest ones in my opinion. The rest are just stupid."
"All of them are stupid," Memphis grumbled as she chomped on sandwich.
"Stop being so salty, b-tch," Denim told Memphis. "The third one was good, too. Brenda ruled that movie until she f-cking died, and even when she died her funeral was a f-cking hit!" I laughed at the memory of the movie, and even Memphis let out a little smirk as she remembered the movie.
We watched the movie and laughed occasionally at all of the stupid scenes. Memphis was right. The movie was stupid, but at least it was funny as well. It's not like the movie was meant to be taken seriously in the first place. "So, before we watch the next movie, I need to know if you're feeling better," Kahlo said as she looked over to me. I gave her a nod but she still gave me a questioning look. "Come on, Lav. You've been doing blow. You're probably itching to do it right now and it looks like you haven't gotten any rest. I know you were attached to Maxim and all, but maybe you can find you a new girl or guy."
"There's this chick that works at the gas station down the street and she's lesbian as f-ck."
"Is she now, Memphis? Is she truly lesbian as f-ck," Denim asked with a bit of humor.
"Listen, she's kind of hot. Not really as hot as Maxim but she looks to be strong. I don't think Denim could beat her in a fight and neither of us surely couldn't. She might not be as tough or as strong as Maxim but I think she's a pretty close second," Memphis recommended. "Her name is Lindy. I can hook you up."
"First off, b-tch, Lavender doesn't want to date anyone that smells like f-cking gasoline all damn day. Second, what kind of tough b-tch is named Lindy? She sounds like a loopy airhead who just may be a f-cking crackhead. Notice how I said crackhead, not a cokehead. Lavender's a cokehead. That's classy. Crackhead? Not so." I punched Denim on the arm for calling me a cokehead. "What!? I said you're classy, b-tch!"
"So, if cokeheads are classy do you consider Amanda Bynes classy," Kahlo tested Denim.
"B-tch, she got more money than me so yes."
I chuckled and shook my head at my friends. It was truly a good idea to get them to come over even though they basically was calling me a cokehead and/or Amanda Bynes.
-
I stood in front of the door and bit my lower lip. Part of me wanted to walk away while another part of me just wanted to knock on the door and see how Lavender was doing. I drove all this way just to make sure she was still breathing. There was no way in telling if she was alive or not because she wouldn't call me, text me and she didn't even update on her social media accounts since we ended things publicly and she walked in on Gloria and I. According to the media and the lack of pictures, she hasn't been outside either. The last thing I wanted was Lavender hurting herself because of me. All I did was act out on my feelings. How could I be ridiculed for that? Gloria and I have known each other for so long and we fell in love with each other almost instantly. I couldn't just give that up for Lavender who I hadn't even known for a year, or six months for that matter. Everything I said to Lavender was genuine and I really did enjoy her company but I had to do what was best for me. It may be selfish but it had to be done.
After a few minutes of just staring at the door, I gave it a slight knock. I rocked on my heels as I waited for her to answer. She probably wasn't even going to answer. I knocked once more and mid-knock, the door opened wide. Lavender stood there with her eyes wide with disappointment. She was expecting someone else. From the looks of it, she had company earlier but no one was there. "F-ck off," she said sternly as she started to slam the door in my face. I put my foot between the door and the frame so she couldn't shut it. "Maxim, seriously just leave me alone!"
I stared at her for a second. She seemed so different. Tired. Stressed. Hurt. Frail. "Please, tell you're not on drugs again, Lavender."
"Do you want me to call the police on you? Do I need to get a f-cking restraining order to make you understand that I don't want sh-t to do with you!?"
"I care about you, Lavender."
"You just care about yourself."
"I don't want you doing drugs."
"Well, we can't all have what we want, huh? I learned that the hard way. Now, go."
Slowly, I moved my foot from the door and she slammed it instantly. I heard the lock click and a groan escaped my lips. I was so f-cking stupid. All of this was my fault. I led Lavender on and now she was hurt. Now she was depending on drugs to cope with the pain of me wanting to be with Gloria. If she was to overdose then it would be all on me. I was a f-cking asshole.
I walked into Gloria's apartment once I came from the depressing trip to Lavender's apartment. She was sitting on the couch with her reading glasses on as she read through a magazine. Ivo was playing a game on his tablet too invested to notice me coming in. When I shut the door, Gloria looked up from the book and gave me a sweet smile. I gave her the best smile that I could as I walked over towards her. She stood up and pulled me into a tight hug before kissing my lips gently. "You look down. What's wrong, baby," she asked as she took her hand in mine.
I brought her hand up to my lips and kissed it softly. "Nothing, baby girl."
Gloria looked at me for a long while. She seemed to be perplexed and unbelieving. I reached over and tucked her hair behind her ears. "What were you reading, geek?" She bit her lip before giving me a smile and pulling me down to sit on the couch with her. She grabbed the magazine and I looked down to examine it. It was a wedding magazine with a ton of dresses, suits and wedding essentials. "Wedding stuff, huh," I asked as I wrapped my arm around her.
She rested upon me and nodded. "Mhm."
I looked up to see Ivo walking over with his tablet in hand. "Hey, buddy," I said as I pulled him onto my lap. "What do you want to wear to the wedding? How about your dinosaur pajamas?"
"Can I really!?"
"No, sweetheart. Don't let your momma get your hopes up."
"Yes, you can," I mouthed to Ivo and he gave me a bright smile.
"So, when should the wedding be, honey," Gloria asked me as she looked up from the book. Thinking about the date of the wedding was the last thing on my mind. At the moment, I could barely keep Lavender off of it. "Did you hear me? I was thinking in about a month. I know it's a little short noticed but we had most of this planned before! I just want to get married so my mom can stop worrying me about it and so that we can be an official family."
"I don't know, baby. You know that I have a fight coming up soon and I need to be training for that. We should push the wedding back, maybe to like a year and half by then I'll be taking on the Ronda Russ and hopefully taking the belt from her hands. Then I can rest a while and make sure everything is perfect for the wedding," I suggested.
Gloria frowned as she took off her glasses. "A year and a half, Maxim? That's a bit farfetched. I know you have fights coming up but I think you can take a day out of training to have our wedding. Then, we can maybe wait a year and a half for our honeymoon."
"Gloria, a wedding consists of more than a f-cking day."
"Is it really necessary to curse, especially in front of Ivo?"
I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "I'm just stressed the f-ck out, okay?"
"Maxim!"
"Look, it takes weeks of preparation, rehearsals and everything else for a wedding! I can't do that right now. If I lose this next fight then I don't have a shot at the belt until a year from now."
"It's always about work with you. You always put fighting before us!"
I rolled my eyes. "That's not true. If I wasn't fighting then we would still be in the projects and I'd probably be dead from trying to find out just who killed my brother. All I'm asking for you is to push the wedding stuff back. I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to talk about it. We would've been married if you hadn't left me in the first place."
"F-ck you."
"Look who's cursing in front of Ivo now." Gloria stood up and began walking towards her bedroom. I took Ivo off of my lap and followed after her. "You're always running away from our problems," I told her as I grabbed her wrist.
"Says the one who wants to push back the wedding! Is it because of Lavender?!"
Gloria and I stared at each other for a while without saying a word. Ivo walked up to us and that's when I looked towards him. "Why don't you two just break up," he asked with a pout on his face. His arms were crossed and he seemed to be fed up with our bullsh-t.
"I love your mother we're not breaking up," I told him sternly.
"Seems like to me that you love Laavy."
I don't know if it was from frustration or just from Ivo possibly speaking the truth but I yelled at him. I yelled at him like I had never did before. "Go to your f-cking room right now!" As soon as I said it I felt guilty, my words had echoed in the small apartment. He had jumped from fear of the loudness. Ivo whimpered and ran to his room and I started to go after him but Gloria grabbed my arm.
"Make your choice. Me or her. I won't take Ivo away from you either way but if you yell at our son like that again, then I will." I nodded my head as Gloria stared at me with tear stained eyes. "Go apologize then leave."
-
Do you think Maxim loves Lavender?