~~~~~~flashback~~~~~~
"If you... If you could return,
Don't let it burn
Don't let it fade
I'm sure I'm not being rude
But it's just your attitude
It's tearing me apart...
It's ruining everything..."
Marvelous as always, like a goddess wrapped in sparkles; that was what you looked like. On the inside, you felt like anything but. Music played, the same song that played through every performance for the last month. You used to let it flow through you and let the music carry you... But now it just seemed to rattle through the hollow cavern that was your heart. You felt the music, alright. You felt each word in your veins. Biting back tears was agony... you thanked god you weren't singing. But on with the show, you just kept going.
"And I swore... Swore I would be true
And honey, so did you
So why were you holding her hand?
Is that the way we stand?
Were you lying all the time?
Was it just a game to you?
But I'm in so deep~
You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?"
You wanted to cry. You wanted to scream until your lungs gave out. You wanted to kick and punch at whatever was near you just to feel the blunt pain against your skin because at least it felt better than the emotional pain. How fucking dare he, how dare anyone treat you like that...
"Oo, I thought the world of you...
I thought nothing could go wrong,
But I was wrong.
I was wrong..."
You sniffled as you smiled to the crowd, your grin painfully wide as you carefully pulled your body further up into the air and posed in a split; the silks wrapped around your wrists and a white knuckle grip on them for support. As the crowd marveled at your skill, grace and beauty you pulled yourself back into a more comfortable position and glanced down at your stomach for a moment. 'Guess it's just you and me now...' you thought to yourself as you pictured your future baby in your arms.
"If you... If you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn't be so confused
And I wouldn't feel so used...
But you always really knew
I just want to be with you
And I'm in so deep~"
You smiled genuinely for a second, although minuscule. Admittedly, as terrified as you were, you were slowly warming up to the idea of having a baby. Wondering if it'd be a boy or a girl, whatever it were you just hoped they were healthy. You quit smoking and drinking as soon as you found out, and hoped that your partying before you knew about the pregnancy didn't do anything to cause the fetus any harm. You even started thinking loosely about names. As much as you dreaded having to tell your parents, you were a little excited.
"You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?"
Taking a deep breath you mentally prepared yourself for the part of your routine that you hated most. The kamikaze drop. Carefully wrapping the silks around your wrists you got yourself wrapped and ready for the head-first drop. Silently praying you could pull it off with ease like you had been since you perfected the move. But in the midst of your erratic emotions and the loudness of the music, you didn't hear the silk above you begin to tear.
"You know I'm such a fool for you
You've got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to,
Do you have to let it linger?"
As you began the drop you felt the silk give and rip from above you, only one side, letting your one arm go slack as you began to fall. Really fall. Panic washed over you as your grip had slipped, thinking quickly you tried to maneuver your body so that you fell on your side as opposed to dropping right on your skull. Everything happened so quickly, you could barely react beyond instinct.
You closed your eyes tightly and braced yourself for the inevitable landing; the last thing you heard was the multitude of gasps and even a couple screams from the audience before everything went silent and dark.
~~~~~~flashback over~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Did you know that human skin alone weighs roughly 8 pounds?"
"No, Alastor, I did not know that." You chuckled softly, shaking your head as you walked along side the buck. Your arm linked around his as you both walked up the path toward the hotel entrance. "I'm assuming this is something you've read and not something you found out on your own?"
"Well darling, I thought with your little power you'd know whether or not I know that from experience." He said.
"I actually try pretty hard to look past the grotesque and just focus solely on you." You confessed with a meek smile, awkwardly rubbing the back of your neck with your free hand. "Not tryna have intimate moments with you and be distracted by mental images of blood and guts."
"Suit yourself, sounds romantic to me." He shrugged.
"You're tweaked."
"Mm hmm, you love me though."
"You right." You sighed, hugging his arm a little. "I do love my sweet, cannibalistic, killer deer demon."
"Awh you're going to make me blush, sweetheart." He mused with a cheeky smile as he opened the door for you, gesturing for you to enter before him. Mostly just because he was a gentleman like that; but, admittedly, also because he wanted an excuse to look at your ass as you walked ahead of him.
He almost went unnoticed with it, too. Until his microphone stand gave it away, emitting the sound of a cat-call whistle when you went ahead.
You whipped your head back and threw him a playful glare while the buck merely blushed and quickly poofed away his mic stand. Both of you let out a gentle laugh as you gave him a little nudge to the shoulder.
"So I was thinking," he continued, clearing his throat and taking your hand in his. Twirling you as he closed the entry door behind him, you humming in acknowledgment as he spoke. "Later if you were feeling up to it perhaps we could go out again tonight? Grab a few drinks, maybe dance a little."
"Is drunken intercourse on the agenda as well?" You asked half teasingly as you gave him a coy smile. His own smile thinned to a smirk as he cocked his head to the side and shrugged. His pupils visibly dilating as he thought upon your suggestion, quite pleased with the idea.
"I anticipate nothing but a pleasant evening enjoying my lover's company. But, if one drink turns into many and we end up naked on the floor in front of my fireplace then so be it."
"You wanna take me back to your place tonight?" You reiterated, raising your brows in a sense of small surprise.
"Only if you're alright with that, my dear." He said sweetly. His signature smile thinning to one that was more soft and sincere as he lowered his voice. "I seemed to have misplaced my teddy bear so I was hoping you could sleep with me tonight instead."
"You're so corny." You said with a laugh.
"Hmm a sleepover at Alastor's~." You hummed playfully, bouncing on your feet a little in excitement. "Sounds like a fun time. The whole evening does, really. I can't wait."
Al's grin widened with delight. "I may be able to shirk work early," he trailed off, leaning in and gently holding your chin in his hand. "I'll come and fetch you around 6. Does that work for you?"
"I'll be ready." You smiled, leaning in closer as well. Leaving perhaps just an inch of space between you. "One more kiss before we part?"
"As you wish, sweetheart."
Sweetly, Alastor's soft lips met yours in a delicate kiss. Dosing you with his love and making your heart double in speed for a moment as warmth flooded your cells. It was as tender as it was short, pulling away from the contact his eyes fluttered open and drank you in. Happy with what he had given you, yet you still wanted more. "Until then, my love." He whispered. His hand gently caressing your cheek and letting his fingertips linger as he began to walk away, only lowering his hand when he was no longer in contact with you.
You smiled gently as he walked away. Sad to see him go, but it was only for a few hours. "I might be as whipped as he is." You sighed almost silently to yourself, walking up the stairs and off to your room. Figuring you might as well dance in your silks for a bit, you were going to change into something more comfortable. As you began your ascent however, the sudden sound of Charlie's voice had redirected your focus.
"Hi Y/n!"
"Ohhh, hello Charlie." You greeted back pleasantly, turning on your heel and descended back down a couple steps. "How goes it?"
"Good! You're not gonna believe it, we got another patient today!!" She squealed, her frame practically vibrating with excitement. Her joy was almost contagious, you couldn't help but smile back.
"That's great, Charlie!" You said, "I'm so happy to hear that! They here now?"
"Yeah we just got them settled up in their room about 15 minutes ago. I still have to tell Al that he's here. He knew we had a patient coming in but you both were gone when he arrived."
"Huh, I'm surprised he didn't mention it while we were at lunch." You shrugged. "Well if you're looking for him now, he just went to his office."
"Thanks!" She chirped, her smile then softening a little. "I thought you might get a kick out of this, apparently this guy was in a circus when he was alive, too."
You grinned and laughed a little with a sense of satisfaction. "Yess, one of my kind!" You groaned happily. "Will I get to meet them later? What did he do?"
"Probably around dinner time unless he ventures out before hand." She said. "He said he used to be a clown. Guess he still is, you'll see what I mean when you meet him. His name's Reggie!"
You nodded slowly, taking in the coincidental information. "Huh. Alright. Well shit I won't be here for dinner tonight... Maybe I'll run into him at some point."
You and Charlie were about to go your separate ways as you turned and took a few more steps up the flight of stairs, only to stop again as vague, distant voices rang in the back of your head. Statements you could have sworn you'd heard in your dreams, your loved ones mourning the loss of another. Unable to shirk the feeling that gnawed on you like a sixth sense, you walked right back down the stairs and jogged over to Charlie down the hall.
"Hey, wait." You called after her. She turned her head and looked at you with a doe eyed expression and halted her stride.
"Yeah?"
"What is his last name?" You wondered.
"Elsher. Why?"
"... Think we can bother him for a minute?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Knock
Knock
Knock
"Reggie? It's Charlie. Sorry to bother you but do you have a moment?"
"Yeah," he grunted. "Hold on."
The demon got up from organizing his dresser drawers with what little clothes he had and walked over to the door. Upon opening it he looked back at Charlie and you, his gaze traipsed between the two of you while you took in the demons features.
Charlie was right, he certainly was a clown. Like his skin was just permanently painted up like one and no amount of cleaning could wipe it off; including a big red nose. His irises were bright blue and scleras were an even brighter yellow. Looking carefully over his features, however, you confirmed it was in fact your old friend. A look of shock crept onto your face while he stared back at you very confused, not connecting the dots right away as he didn't quite recognize you at first.
"It is you!" You exclaimed, a smile washing over your expression of disbelief as you practically leapt forward to hug him tightly. "Reg, it's me, it's Y/n..."
"Y/n?" He reiterated, the shock still subsiding as he began to process what was happening and who you were. It didn't take long for your dear friend to connect the dots however, and with a wide grin he hugged you back. "Shit, kid what are the odds?"
He laughed in disbelief as he let you continue to hug him. Feeling your back heave slightly as you gently cried into the poor guys shoulder. You couldn't help how overwhelmed you were, it was so good to see a familiar face.
"Are you crying?" He asked with a sympathetic little laugh. "Missed ya too, kid." He mumbled, patting you on the back gently before pulling away and getting a good look at you.
"I'm not crying, I'm sweating through my eyes."you sniveled. "I missed ya, I miss you all so much, you have no idea... I can't believe you're right here in front of me. What even happened, Reggie? Why are you in hell?"
"I did some bad things, kid." He shrugged, looking down at the floor. "Thing's I ain't too proud of..."
"Haven't we all. You're... looking to be rehabilitated, I heard."
"Yeah," he nodded with a meek smile. "Crazy as it seems. I gotta tell ya I feel a hell of a lot better knowin' you're alright, now. 'Side from bein' damned. We was a wreck when we found you that morning..."
"I'm sorry to have left you all..." you offered, holding back a soft sob. "But I'm okay."
"Are ya?" He pried.
"Yeah," you chuckled gently with a nod. "We got some catching up to do, that's for damn sure. But I'm okay."
"That makes me glad to hear, kid."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you I know you're getting settled in," you laughed awkwardly as you wiped a stray tear away and backed up a couple step. "I just... had to make sure."
"I don't blame ya." He smiled back with a nod. "Come 'round any time to say hi, but I think right now a nap is calling my name."
" 'kay." You nodded politely. "See ya."
As Reggie shut the door you turned to look at Charlie who seemed to be just mirroring your levels of excitement. "Awh Y/n! I'm so happy for you that you get to see him again. That's wonderful!"
"I can't stop the tears, what the fuck." You laughed softly as you looked up at the ceiling, trying to stifle the seemingly endless stream that spout from your eyes. "I'm so grateful. Charlie you got lucky, he's a good guy. He's like a brother to me, he's always done right by my side. Honestly I can't even be surprised him of all people would seek rehabilitation."
"So he won't be much trouble, then?" She said, lightheartedly teasing laced with genuine hopefulness.
"I'd be shocked if he was." You answered.