y/n pov
his words hung in the air, i.. i dont know what to say, i can't even process- he did what?
i looked at him with shocked eyes, i guess he catched it because he continued talking without expecting me to answer. "she was completely healthy, why do you think she would pass away out of nowhere? it was all done by my dad." he stopped and sighed, then spoke again. "she was against me being involved in his business world unless i wanted to, so she was the only thing that was stopping dad from drawing our 'deal' shit. so my dad.. he started to slowly poison her food." he stopped. its like everything around us fell below the ground, all the comfort here just five minutes ago was gone. what is his family?!
"but it was still taking a long time because my grandma was a pretty healthy person, and i guess she sensed something was wrong already, so she wouldn't eat alot of what was given to her. when my dad found out she's been eating out, he got mad and well.. gave me a plate of her favourite meal, and told me to give her that no matter what. i was young, and she was the only family to me back then. he told me if she continues eating out and skipping meals it would do something bad and she would get hospitalized. i was scared, i didn't wanna lose her.. so i forced her to eat it. it.. it was poisoned y/n." he stopped again and took a breath, i can see his hands slightly shaking.
i quickly put my hand on his as i took a breath to process everything. "it.. it wasn't your fault hyunjin" i said after a pause. he shook his head, "but it was. she told me so many times she didn't wanna eat it and i forced her, she trusted me. she probably hates me now"
"hyunjin. listen to me. you had no idea! i bet she knows you would never hurt her on purpose. she doesn't hate you" i said. i dont know how to take all this in, i need time to process. but i tried to put myself together, he's the one who needs comfort right now. god knows how long he's been carrying the weight alone
"you dont get it y/n, she died right in my arms, she was in so much pain.. if just i didnt do what i did..." his voice got lower, "the last time she looked at me, her eyes only had resentment."
i sighed, there's no use of telling him, he's completely putting the blame on himself. "how did you find out?" i asked instead.
"i overheard my dad talking to someone. when i found out it was because of the deal i just started hating you even though i knew it had nothing to do with you or your mom. but i was too scared to accept my blame, so i put it on you for as long as i could. until i couldnt anymore, which was when you left. i finally realised nothing can take the fault off me, and that i was losing you just because i didn't have the courage to accept shit."
he's right, it isn't mine or mom's fault, if she knew she would never even keep contact with his dad, let alone get me involved. but i just can't help feeling bad. i can't even imagine how hard it must've been for him to deal with me all those years.
all because of that damn deal?! is his dad even a human? i caressed his fingers, "for the last time, you had no idea. it has nothing to do with you or me, its all your dad's fault. so please stop hating yourself. okay?" i said, its useless but it wouldn't hurt trying
he sighed. "does.. your mom know? why didn't you tell anyone?" i asked.
"i didn't know how to tell her, i thought she would hate me too. who do you think would've trusted a 14 year old? my dad had his connections and everything right at the tip of his fingers, it wouldve been of no use. i had nothing."
"i'm.. so sorry hyunjin. no one deserves that." i said as i slowly pulled him into a hug. whatever happened between us in the past doesn't matter right now, he needs comfort.
a few seconds later he broke the hug, "i ran away that night because i wanted to be alone, and i was sure no one would really notice with all the fuss going on. it was late and i was crying on a random bench i dont know where, thats when.. sung hee came up to me." he said, i got a bit weirded about him bringing her up out of nowhere, but i let him continue.
"i dont know if she was drunk, but she asked me if i was okay. i didn't tell her anything because obviously, but we decided to stay in touch. we were good friends until she found out i was rich, and then you know what. i wasn't hurt though. i guess i used her to distract myself and she used me for money, so it was fair game"
"distract yourself from what?"
"home"
i nodded, its weird and doesn't justify things he's said to me or the way he's treated me, but i guess it makes sense. "sorry, i didn't mean to put all this up on you, but i guess i had to say it to someone"
"you've never told anyone this before?"
he shook his head, "how many people do you think i've known?"
"right.." i mumbled. the air around was getting normal again, "should we go back? its getting cold" he asked, i nodded.
we walked back downstairs and i entered my room, when he was about to get into his i called him out, "hyunjin!" he looked back at me confused, "it wasn't your fault" i said calmly. this time he didn't argue back and just gave me a dull smile. "night, y/n" he said and went into his room.
i got in as well and leaned on my door with a huge sigh as i shut it, finally giving myself time to process. she asked me if i was okay. that's what you failed to do y/n, you failed to ask him if he was okay. i grabbed some water and went to bed.
next morning
I was fixing my room because i called aera over, it was originally to study for the math test next week but we figured we could also watch movies and have some fun after that. after making my room look decent i decided to take a shower and fresh up a bit, especially because of how tired i look. yesterday was one hell of a roller coaster. another reason i hate them.
by the time i finished i had a text from aera, i already sent her my address before going to shower so she said shes out. i texted her back and walked to my closet to get a outfit. im not dressing up or putting on makeup because we're just gonna be at home anyway. i already bought some snacks so now we're all set! mom is already gone so there's no one to disturb.
-
about half an hour later, i got a call from her saying she's here so now im walking downstairs to pick her up. i see her getting out of the uber and quickly wave at her with a smile.
"heyyy" she said as she walked over, i invited her in. "woah, you're.. rich" she said looking at my house from the inside, i smiled. "don't i look rich?"
i lead her to my room and we settled down in my desk, "i really dont feel like studying at all" she said with a sigh as we got our books out. "honestly me neither, should we study in the end instead?" i said with a smug smile. i dont know why we make these study sessions at all, we literally do everything but study.
"we can always make changes, the test isn't that important anyway" she said agreeing with me, we got up our chairs with a smile and jumped to my bed instead. "what do you want to watch? i've got alot of snacks" i said grabbing the remote, she also bought some snacks on her way here so we had plenty.
"i dont have anything in mind really, lets see whats there" she replied, i nodded and we started scrolling to see if there's anything good enough.
it took us some minutes but we ended up deciding to binge some disney movies, we were halfway our 3rd movie when i got a call. i decided to ignore it at first but then it rang again. "ughh who is it" i mumbled and sat up on my bed. it was seungmin. i thought of texting him that ill call him later but then i realised if he's calling me between his busy schedule it could be important. "hello? yes?" i said as i picked up and paused the movie. "aishhh" aera mumbled.
"hey, are you home right now?" he said
"uh, yeah.. aera is over we're like studying ahah" i said nervously, he already doesn't trust us with studying and if he finds us like this its going to turn into a 2 hour lecture. sometimes he scares me more than my mom. aera looked at me confused, "who is it?" she whispered, i shook my head.
"oh alright then, im around your area and i got some notes that could be helpful for you guys too, ill bring them over with myself"
"ssureee! how.. long will it take you by the way?"
"like 5 minutes?"
"oh OKAY ILL see you!" i said and quickly hung up, "what happened??" aera asked confused.
"seungmin's coming over we need to clean up" i told her and looked around the room, it was a mess. there were wrappers and boxes all over the room and the bed was full of chips and snacks that we're yet to eat whereas the books on my desk looked completely untouched. because obviously.
"shit. why did you tell him we're studying??" she said as we got up to start cleaning as much as we can. "i didn't know he would come up out of nowhere!" i yelled, "now start cleaning we dont have alot of time."
i managed to get most of the snacks hidden under my bed sheet and aera cleared the ground by throwing most of the wrappers out in hyunjin's room as it was the only unlocked room and thankfully he's out working. he usually comes back around this time so we can only hope for the better.
i heard the bell ring, "fuck he's here, just shove everything under my blanket" i told her and ran out of my room, he stood there at the door and waved at me with a smile once he noticed me. i waved back as i walked down the stairs.
"hey, did i disturb you guys?" he asked once i reached him
"huh? nope! not at all! we were actually just hoping you were here so could help us out ahah.." i replied with a nervous chuckle. i dont know why im lying or hiding, its not like he'll start ripping my hair off if he finds out i was watching disney movies instead of studying. or maybe he will..
"oh? what do you need help with? i have time" he said and we started walking to my room, i hoped aera managed to get the rest of the mess out somehow.
"OH HEyyY seungmin!" she said as she kicked what i assume was the last wrapper behind my bed. "dont worry we got everything math is easy as hell we're doing amazing" she quickly added, it was as if she's reciting the bible. can this girl be any more obvious?
but then who am i to talk, im probably worse.
he gave her a weird look, "but y/n just told me-"
"SHE means we're trying our best you know??" i cut him off and slapped his arm, giving aera a glare.
"oh um.. okay whatever i got these, and theres a copy for each of us." he said as he held out the papers in his hands.
"why thank you seungmin, what will we do without you" i said and grabbed the papers from him. "yes yes thanksss" aera said and walked over to where we were standing.
"of course" he smiled.
"sooo" she said again when none of us said anything and just stood there awkwardly, i would invite him in but it wont take him two minutes to find out.
i was going to say something when we heard hyunjin walking up the stairs, great. they must have chemistry stronger than most of the romance movie couples for ALWAYS showing up together. well, maybe not always but it has already happened so many times i dont even want to remember.
hyunjin being here isnt even the problem, both seungmin and aera know he lives here. the mess in his room is the actual problem.
"HEy HYUNJIN!" i yelled as he was about to enter his room. "you think you can go and bring me and aera some ice cream? please? the store is really close by" i finished. it doesn't make sense because chances are we already have ice cream in our fridge but i really cant let him enter that room. what made it worse was this was the first time we were talking since last night as he left before i even woke up.
"im pretty sure those are legs i see" he said, pointing down at my legs.
"oh common- you can't do this much for me? and i thought you were trying to make things right" i mumbled loud enough for him to hear and seungmin to not, since he was still standing on the door of my room. hyunjin rolled his eyes, "fine. which one do you want?"
"anything works!" i said and started pushing him out towards the stairs
"i think ill get going as well, goodluck with the studying" seungmin added as he walked out and aera followed him, "yes! thank you again! you guys can leave together" she said, earning herself a glare from both of them.
"im almost done with my stuff, and things will be back to normal by the end of this week" seungmin said lastly as he looked back at me, i smiled. "dont stress alot, okay? im looking forward to see you in school again" i replied, he smiled back.
"okayyy i think we should go now" hyunjin said as walked up to us again and grabbed seungmin's arm, "ill walk you out!" he smiled at him and dragged him down the stairs. "bye!" me and aera yelled and waved, then sighed in relief when they were out of sight.
"his room."
hyunjin pov
"i can walk by myself" seungmin said and pulled his arm back to himself as we got down the stairs. "sure of course" i nodded and we started walking towards the door.
"so why were you here?" i asked nicely. atleast alot nicer than what we are most of the time. he glared at me, "thats none of your business"
"just asking" i said as we put our shoes on. he didn't say anything and we got out of the house.
he started going his way when i yelled his name, which he ignored and continued walking. i spoke again, a bit louder. "do you like her?"
and this time, his steps stopped.
~to be continued
the amount of people of people defending sung hee in the beginning bye