Kabanata 7
Easy
Umawang ang aking labi. He's having this massive temper because I looked like a slut? I could not help but lift a fake smile at him. He was being unbelievable!
"I was just trying to mold myself into the woman of your liking, Zadkiel. Gumagana ba?"
He scoffed. "I wouldn't be this annoyed if it was working."
Nawala ang peke kong ngiti. That hurt more than it should. Hindi ko na talaga alam kung saan lulugar sa kanya.
"I don't give a shit if you dressed like this for me, Celia. It does not flatter me at all. At halata ring hindi bagay sa 'yo ang ganitong pananamit kaya magpalit ka."
"Hindi bagay?! What do you even know about fashion?!"
"I may not know a lot about fashion, but I know everything about men. We don't care about the sparkle or cut in your dress. All we think about is how accessible it is to us. How easy it would be to take the dress off."
"Are you saying I look easy?!"
Honestly, to hell with him. Ewan ko pero ngayon lang ata ako nakaramdam ng ganito ka-intense na frustration at galit. I knew I needed to be kind to him because he was my Tita and Tito's guest and my cousins' friend. But he was being so mean to me, I couldn't help but mirror the attitude back.
Kumunot ang noo niya na para bang ang tanga ko para itanong pa 'yon. "Yes, you look easy. Now, can you please just go and change? You don't look like an experienced and sexually empowered woman in that dress. You look desperate for attention, and it's not a little bit attractive to anyone."
Pilit kong nilunok ang bukol na namumuo sa aking lalamunan. "You are being so mean right now," I said like a bullied child.
"I'd rather be mean than let you parade yourself in that dress a minute longer." Bumuntong-hininga siya at hinilot ang gitna ng kanyang kilay. "Don't be difficult, okay? I'm not in the mood to fake concern for your tears. Your fragile little heart will just have to take it the hard way."
I suddenly wished I was at least a little bit drunk so I could withstand him longer. Pero bakit ko pa nga ba siya kinakausap pa? I should just save my energy and stay away from him. Hindi ba iyon naman talaga ang plano ko?
"Then your fragile little ego will just have to deal with me being in this dress. Kung accessible man 'to sa paningin mo... e ano naman? I don't care if it's Jameson or any other guy, but I promise you you won't be the one taking this off me tonight!"
Imbes na hintayin pa ang mas lalong pagdilim ng mukha niya o ang sunod niyang insulto ay linampasan ko na siya. Iritado akong nagmartsa papasok sa back door hanggang sa bar counter kung saan ang mga inumin.
May nakahandang bartender sina Tito at Tita para sa party na ito. I announced my order and waited. Malakas pa rin ang kalabog ng puso ko sa iritasyon, sakit, at kung ano pa para kay Zadkiel. Maybe if I wasn't caught off guard, I would have came up with a more articulate response.
Hindi naman ako pinalaking bastos, at mas lalong hindi ako tinuruang sagutin ng pabalang ang kahit sino. My feelings were just really hurt because I spent time and energy on my appearance tonight.
Syempre, ayaw ko rin namang ipahiya sina Tito at Tita bilang pamangkin nila. But for Zadkiel to say those words and make it sound so negative, na kailangan kong ikahiya ang sarili ko ngayong gabi, ay tumulak sa akin upang gantihan ang mga insulto niya.
"So you admit that you're easy? You are even planning to let a man undress you tonight!" Biglang sulpot ni Zadkiel sa aking tabi. His words reeked of accusation and darkness.
I threw a gaze at him. "Yes, I do. Ano naman 'yon sa 'yo?" simple kong tugon.
His eyes darkened more. Para ako nitong hinihigupan ng paghinga. "Do your cousins know you intend to be a whore at their parents' party tonight?"
Imbes na mas lalong magalit ay kinalma ko ang aking sarili. I knew what he was doing. He was trying to piss me off and get a reaction from me. Ayaw ko ng gano'n. It made me feel powerless. Huminga ako ng malalim at nagdasal na bumalik ang pagiging kalmado ko. It's okay, Celia. You don't have to be a jerk like him.
"My sexual activities are none of my cousins' concern," I said calmly. "And frankly, it shouldn't be yours, too."
Nilapag na ng bartender 'yong drinks na in-order ko kaya kinuha ko 'yon gamit ang dalawang kamay. On the side of my eyes, I could see Zadkiel straightening on his place. The other bartender served his drink. Kinuha niya 'yon at sumimsim dito.
As much as I wanted to leave unannounced, hindi ko talaga ugali 'yon. Isa pa, baka kasi isumbong niya ako kay Kuya Liam at Kenneth. My attitude tonight wasn't exactly something to brag about.
I cleared my throat. "I'm done here. Enjoy the rest of the night, Zadkiel."
"Not so fast, angel."
Before I could take a single step, Zadkiel was already pouring his drink on me! Ramdam ko ang lamig ng inumin sa pang-itaas kong katawan. I shivered as the cold nipped my skin and the people around us started gossiping.
Did he just?
Basang-basa ako! Uminit ang aking pisngi sa kahihiyan. I did everything right tonight! I did everything to look presentable and perfect. Ayaw kong ako pa ang dahilan upang pag-usapan ng masama sina Tito at Tita. Ayaw kong maging rason upang masira ang party na pinagplanuhan nila.
But it was too late because I already ruined it with this stupid mess! My dress was soaking wet. Rinig ko ang paglakas ng mga bulungan sa paligid. The bartender offered me some tissues to wipe my chest. Tinanggap ko iyon at nagsimulang magpunas. I didn't even have it in me to look Zadkiel in the eyes.
I was so embarrassed. Nakayuko lang ako habang nagpupunas. Ano naman kaya ang reaksyon ni Zadkiel habang nakikita akong ganito? He's probably sporting that devilish grin on his face. Now I wouldn't have a choice but to change! Good for him! Baka umuwi na rin ako ng diretso dahil sa pagkapahiya.
"Celia? You took too long to return so I looked for you. Anong nangyari sa damit mo?" Jameson was suddenly beside me. Puno ng pag-aalala ang kanyang boses.
"Just... an accident," I lied.
Ayoko mang magsinungaling, mas mabuti na iyon kaysa malaman niya na binuhusan ako ni Zadkiel ng inumin. It would just cause more questions, and I wasn't in the mood to answer any of them right now.
Jameson removed his blazer and wrapped it around me. Inangat ko ang aking tingin sa kanya. He looked genuinely concerned for me, which warmed my heart a little.
"What happened here?"
Napatingin ako sa kararating lang na si Kenneth. He literally flew to my side when he realized what happened. Bahagya niyang itinulak sa dibdib si Jameson upang mapalayo siya sa akin. Jameson raised both his arms in surrender.
"Chill. It was an accident," Jameson told Kenny.
"I don't care, bro. Stay the fuck away from my cousin."
"I was helping her—"
"Not anymore," putol ni Ken sa kanya. "You can go now. I'll take care of the rest of this. Thanks for the concern."
Jameson looked like he wanted to argue with Kenneth but eventually gave up and smiled at me before leaving. I felt guilty that Kenneth shooed him away when he was just helping me. Mariin kong tinignan ang pinsan. He was busy wiping the residue of the liquor on my feet.
Nang matapos siya roon ay seryoso niya akong tinignan. "I'll take you home. Say hi to Liam before we go. Don't worry, I won't tell our parents about this. I'll also let Kuya take care of the guests who saw what happened."
Kenneth's eyes darted at Zadkiel. I involuntarily looked at him, too. Nakaupo siya sa barstool at may hawak na bagong inumin sa kamay. He looked carefree. There was even a slight smile on his face!
"Did he do this?" Kenneth turned to me. He suddenly looked more furious than earlier.
Agad akong umiling. "No, Kenny. Let's just go... Please?"
Mukhang natanto niyang hiyang-hiya na ako kaya tumango na lang siya kahit hindi kuntento sa sagot ko. Kenneth escaped me from the party and took me home safely. Habang nakahiga sa kama ay hindi mawala sa utak ko ang matagumpay na ngiti sa mukha ni Zadkiel bago kami tuluyang umalis doon kanina. He really was enjoying my misery.
Curled up in my bed, I thought about how much I regretted it. I regretted thinking he was generous and kind when he actually was blunt and harsh. Bakit ko ba kasi siya pinapatulan? I should have never done it. I should have never messed with the devil.
The weekend ended without my parents asking me about the fiasco at my Tito and Tita's party. I figured they didn't even know about it. Noong nag-Lunes at maaga kaming natapos sa school ay napagdesisyunan namin ni Fiona na pumunta ng mall. Her driver would drive me home, so I didn't bother asking Manong Fred to fetch me.
"Wait. He really did that? How rude!" Fiona exclaimed in front of me.
Nandito kami ngayon sa Starbucks at 'di ko na napigilang i-share sa kanya ang nangyari sa party. She took a loud sip of her drink and leaned forward a bit. Nang-iintriga ang kanyang mukha.
"At talagang sinagot-sagot mo siya ng gano'n? That's new! Usually, you would cower in fear and do whatever the hell he wanted para tapos na ang usapan!"
Bumuntong-hininga ako. "I know. I regret all my interactions with him. Akala ko talaga mabuti siyang tao kasi, 'yon nga, binilhan niya ako ng shovel tapos nag-volunteer pa siyang tulungan ako sa garden."
"He volunteered to help you with your garden?!" She looked so shocked in her widened eyes. "Damn. He must be really into you. No man in his right mind would want to participate in your silly little project, Celia. I mean, look at your cousins. They love you so much, but they never volunteered to be your helpers because... ew. Who wants to get dirty, right?"
Ngumiwi ako. "Gardening is not that dirty... Besides, you wouldn't be able to sip your coffee right now if it weren't for the farmers who got their clothes soiled for you. Sometimes, the dirty work is the noblest of all."
She rolled her eyes at me. Kahit alam kong naiinis siya sa akin kapag bigla ko siyang pinagsasabihan ay sinusubukan ko pa rin. We both grew up privileged. It was easy to forget that most of our comforts in life wouldn't be possible if not for the humble workers.
"E bakit ba kasi kinakausap mo pa 'yong Zadkiel na 'yon? You sound like you have a crush on him."
Napanguso ako. "I don't have a crush on him... Pero inaamin kong lagi akong kinakabahan kapag nandyan siya. I can't really explain it, but he makes me want to melt into the floor or something."
Napatuwid siya ng upo. Nanliit ang kanyang mga mata sa akin na tila ba may nalaman siyang nakakamangha. "Do you dream about him at night?"
"Sometimes?"
"Are those dreams... dirty?"
"What?!" I exclaimed. Napatingin ang ilang customers sa amin kaya napayuko ako ng kaunti. I glared at her. "I-it's not dirty!"
"Oh, don't deny it! I can see it all over your face!" she accused.
"See what?"
"You are lusting over him!"
Umawang ang aking labi. I couldn't believe we were discussing this at such a public place! Gusto ko na siyang hilahin nang makuwi na kami pero sa itsura niya ngayon, mukhang malabo 'yong mangyari. She wanted to discuss it right now.
"That's not true..." I half-heartedly denied it.
"Come on! 'Wag ka nang mahiya sa 'kin! You're a repressed twenty-year-old virgin! You have hormones! That's normal!"
"Well, I don't like it. I hate feeling this way."
It was true. I hated feeling like I had no control over my body. Everything with Zadkiel was involuntary. Kahit ayaw ko siyang tignan, lagi kong nahuhuli ang sarili kong hinahanap siya. Kahit ayaw ko siyang kausapin, lagi kong nahahanap ang sarili kong nasa tabi niya.
Him and his cigarette and hurtful insults. Kailan pa ako nahumaling sa mga bagay na bawal sa akin? Nothing about him was impressive. I shouldn't be impressed! I shouldn't be attracted! It was so frustrating.
Nagkibit-balikat si Fiona. "Don't dwell on it too much. It's just a phase. You either ride the waves or exhaust yourself resisting them."
"I don't know, Fiona. What should I do?"
"You should explore! Take the heat off with some other guys. Better yet, you can just hook up with Zadkiel and wait for the fantasy to fade away. Clearly, you are romanticizing him too much!"
I sipped on my drink and looked away. "None of that works for me. Alam mo namang hindi ako kumportableng kahit kanino lang ginagawa ang mga pisikal na bagay na 'yan."
"Then change your mindset?" She looked at me with one eyebrow raised. "Kailangan mo ring maranasan ang bagay na 'yan. You know what they say. You will experience three kinds of relationships in your life: one that will teach you lust, one that will teach you lessons, and finally, one that will teach you love."
"I highly doubt that," I said because Fiona always spits out tons of nonsense like that.
"Whatever you say, but it's always lust, learn, and love, Celia. Go through with the lust phase already, so you can proceed to the next ones."
Hindi ko alam kung may naitulong ba ang pag-confide ko kay Fiona, ngunit siya lang ang nag-iisa kong kaibigan kaya mas mabuti na iyon kaysa sarilinin ko ang problema. Palabas na kami ng mall nang mag-ring ang cellphone ko para sa isang unregistered call. Thinking it was an emergency or something, I swiped answer.
"Hello?"
"Celia! How are you? It's me, Jameson."
Namilog saglit ang mga mata ko. Tumigil ako sa isang tabi kaya napatigil din si Fiona sa gilid ko. "Hi! I'm fine. Bakit ka napatawag?"
"I'm near your school's area. If you're free, we can get something to eat after your class! Unless you already have plans?"
"Uh, I'm actually at the mall right now, Jameson. Pero... sige ba! Sunduin mo na lang ako rito? I'll send you the address."
"Great! See you!" He sounded enthusiastic.
"See you!"
Fiona wanted to gossip, but I simply told her it was Jameson and didn't elaborate further. Hindi naman siya namilit pa pero makahulugan ang tingin niya sa akin. Nang makarating sa parking lot ay naghiwalay na kaming dalawa. Agad ko namang nahanap ang Land Cruiser ni Jameson dahil nag-aabang siya sa labas nito.
He welcomed me with a hug. "You look good even in your casual clothes!" papuri niya pagkatapos naming kumalas sa yakap.
I smiled shyly. "Thank you..."
"I apologize if this was sudden. I asked your number from Liam when I found that you went home in the middle of the party last Saturday."
"Pasensya rin kung 'di na ako nakapagpaalam. I was too embarrassed to stay."
Tumango siya at pinagbuksan ako ng pinto ng sasakyan. "Shall we?"
Nagsimula nang mag-drive palabas ng parking lot si Jameson. He was a good conversationalist and really made me feel safe with him. Kalmado ang puso ko habang nag-uusap kami sa byahe.
If he was Zadkiel, baka kanina pa nagtatatalon ang puso ko sa kaba. Something about that man was too much for me. Wait, bakit ko ba siya iniisip e wala naman siya rito?! I must be going crazy!
"So you don't have a place to stay here?" I asked.
He nodded. "I'm still looking for a property. As I said, hindi ako taga rito. Many of my relatives are abroad while my family resides in La Fortuna."
"La Fortuna? I have never been there. Is it as beautiful as they say?"
"You haven't been there?" Sinulyapan niya ako, may marahan ngunit mapaglarong ngiti sa kanyang labi. "Shall I take you there one of these days?"
Napanguso ako. "I don't think my parents would allow me."
"But you want to?"
"It's not a bad idea..."
Since Jameson was only staying in the city for a few days, we decided to eat at his hotel's restaurant for convenience. We talked about all sorts of things. Nalaman kong halos kasing importante lang sila ni Zadkiel sa kompanya. They each owned 30% of the company. Matagal na rin daw silang magkakilala ni Kuya Liam dahil pareho sila ng country club na kinabibilangan.
It was almost 7 PM when we finished eating. May kailangang asikasuhin si Jameson sa reception area kaya sinamahan ko siya hanggang sa lobby. Nasa tabi niya ako habang kinakausap niya ang receptionist.
"The shower in my room isn't working. I had it checked earlier, and the manager told me they would transfer me to another suite," he explained to the receptionist.
"Ah, yes, Sir. Hang on. I will check the details of your new room."
"Sure."
Jameson turned to me and smiled gently. Nginitian ko naman siya pabalik. He had been nothing but a delight today. Dapat ganitong klase ng lalaki ang pinagtutuunan ko ng atensyon. Someone who isn't too overwhelming. Someone who makes me feel stable and secured.
Not like Zadkiel who was complicated and unpredictable. Parang palagi akong nananantya pagdating sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung pupuriin niya ako o iinsultuhin. Hindi ko alam kung maiiyak ba ako o maaakit.
Biglang bumukas ang glass door kaya napunta ang tingin ko sa kakapasok lang na grupo ng mga panauhin. They were all wearing a business attire. Mukhang may after work meeting, celebretion, o ano.
"Let's go, Celia," aya ni Jameson sa tabi ko.
I was about to turn to him when my gaze found a familiar set of hazel-brown eyes. My chest tightened and I felt so hazy all of a sudden. Gusto kong iuntog ang ulo ko sa pader dahil mas nadepina lang ng sitwasyon ngayon ang epekto niya sa akin. I was fine moments ago! Nakita ko lang siya, nag-aalburuto na agad ang puso ko?!
"Oh, it seems like there's a conference tonight."
Inangat ko ang tingin ko kay Jameson. I was still well aware of Zadkiel's gaze at me even when I wasn't looking at him. "C-conference?" I suddenly stuttered.
"Yeah." Jameson looked at me a little longer. Nilapat niya ang kanyang kamay sa aking noo at saka pinilig sa kabilang banda ang ulo. "Are you alright? You seem tensed. Nilalamig ka ba?"
"Ah wala. Sa aircon lang siguro. I-I'm okay. Tara na..."
Nagsimula na kaming maglakad palabas ni Jameson. My heart rate picked up again when I saw Zadkiel straying away from his group to approach us. Madilim ang kanyang mga mata at mukhang galit na naman.
Since it was obvious he was coming to us, tumigil kami ni Jameson upang salubungin siya. Pinaglaruan ko ang aking mga daliri sa kaba. Zadkiel's gaze fell to my hands before meeting my eyes again. Nagsalubong ang kilay niya.
"Out on a date?" Zadkiel asked meaningfully. He sounded amused, but I knew he was just faking it to seem approachable.
Jameson nodded at him. "We're going home now. I see that you have a conference tonight. You should probably go back to your group, Zadkiel. Mauna na kami—"
"Do your parents know about this?" he turned to me, cutting Jameson off.
Namilog ang aking mga mata sa gulat pero kalaunan, napalitan iyon ng pinaghalong kaba at guilt. I hadn't texted any of my parents about this! Hindi naman talaga sila strikto kapag nagpapaalam ako ng mabuti pero kasi...
Masyado akong nalibang kasama si Jameson at nalimutang iba pala ang ipinaalam ko sa kanila! I told them Fiona would bring me home. Ano na lang ang sasabihin nila kapag nakitang si Jameson ang nag-uwi sa akin?
"She's an adult. Bakit kailangan pang malaman ng mga magulang niya na sumama siya sa akin? We were introduced at the party—"
"I'm not talking to you." Zadkiel gave Jameson a look of annoyance. Nang balingan niya ako ulit ay mas lalo lamang dumilim ang kanyang mga mata. "I asked you a question, Celia."
"I-I'll tell them later. 'Di naman siguro sila magagalit kasi kilala naman nila si Jameson."
He scoffed. "Yeah. Keep telling yourself that." Kinuha niya ang kanyang cellphone at nagtipa roon. "I'll tell Liam about this. And you," he said, turning to Jameson, "how indecent of you to take her to your hotel. She's still a student. Does Liam even know about this?"
Litong-lito na si Jameson nang pinalipat-lipat niya ang tingin sa aming dalawa. I couldn't even say anything because I was already overthinking about my parents' reactions! Gusto ko na lang pigilan si Zadkiel na magsumbong!
"Liam gave me her phone number. Clearly, he knows I have intentions of reaching out to her."
"He probably assumed you would just call her or something, not take her to your fucking hotel."
"She's a grown-ass woman—"
Zadkiel's eyebrows furrowed more. "Estudyante pa 'yan! She should be busy with school and not checking into hotels with guys like you!"
I saw Zadkiel click on Kuya Liam's contact on his phone. Bago niya pa iyon mapindot ay hinawakan ko na ang braso niya at lumapit sa kanya. His body tensed a bit, but I was too scared of him calling Kuya Liam to care.
I apologetically looked at Jameson who seemed shocked by my action. "Uh, J-jameson, it's okay. Kasalanan ko rin naman kasi 'di ako nakapagpaalam ng maayos. I'll call my driver and have him bring me home. Baka pagalitan ka pa kasi ng mga magulang ko kapag nalaman nilang sumama ako sa 'yo."
"Bakit pagagalitan? Celia, hindi na tayo highschoolers."
Pinamulahan ako ng pisngi. "I'm really sorry. Babawi na lang ako next time—"
"Next time?!" Zadkiel barked beside me. "There's no next time. This is the first and last. I'm taking you home, Celia."
Suplado siyang tumalikod at nauna nang maglakad. I felt so frustrated once again. Gusto kong kausapin pa ng mas matagal si Jameson para sana mag-explain, pero kung gagawin ko 'yon ay talagang iiwan ako ni Zadkiel dito.
"I'm really sorry," I apologized again before leaving Jameson to catch up to Zadkiel who was already exiting the premises.
Naabutan ko siya noong nasa labas na kami ng hotel. He called a valet to get his car ready. Tahimik akong tumayo at naghintay sa tabi niya, kabado pa rin. I wanted to ask him about his conference, but he was still busy fiddling his phone.
Teka nga... bakit parang ako pa ang guilty at naninimbang ngayon? He poured his drinks on me! Napahiya ako sa party ni Tita Sylvie dahil sa kanya! 'Tsaka wala naman akong kailangangang i-explain, e. Hindi ko rin naman siya pinilit na ihatid ako pauwi kaya pakialam ko kung ma-miss niya 'yong conference niya?
"I already informed Liam and your parents that I will be bringing you home," he said in a cold tone and slipped his phone into his pocket.
Nanatili akong tahimik. Bahala nga siya diyan! Bakit kasi lagi na lang kaming pinagtatagpo ng tadhana? Ako na nga itong umiiwas, e!
"Why are you with that guy? What if he was a serial killer? Sunod ka nang sunod, 'di mo pa nga lubusang kilala 'yong tao."
He tried to find my eyes, but I kept averting my gaze from him. We didn't need a discussion about this. Wala naman siyang papel sa buhay ko! He's not like my cousins who supply my little caprices. Or my parents who provide me with my basic necessities. Wala akong utang na loob sa kanya! Definitely not after what he did to me at the party!
"Why won't you talk to me? Are you mute?"
Inismiran ko siya.
His eyes turned into slits as the realization dawned on him. "So you're going for the silent treatment, huh? You still couldn't appreciate my gesture at your Tita's party?"
I kept quiet. Why wouldn't he just leave me alone? I hated feeling this way. Sa tingin niya ba gusto kong mairita o ma-frustrate ng ganito? I hated that I even had to deal with these emotions! I just wanted calmness and simplicity in my life. Hindi ko kailangan nito!
"You didn't get sick, did you?" He taunted, although there was the slightest hint of concern in his voice.
Hindi pa rin ako nagsalita. Again, I didn't owe him anything. Kahit courtesy o basic decency, wala. He embarrassed me in front of many important people. Not to mention he told me he wanted to sleep with me. He didn't deserve my respect.
"It was only for the better. You would have embarrassed yourself more if you stayed at the party wearing that dress. It was too tight for you. Kahit ikaw nga ay mukhang nahihirapang huminga suot 'yon."
So that was his way of expressing concern? Hindi ko naman ata 'yon ramdam! If anything, I felt insulted.
"I told you to change, didn't I? Kung sinunod mo lang sana ang utos ko, hindi na sana humantong sa gano'n—"
"So it was my fault, then?!" I snapped at him.
He twisted his lips. Apparently, there was something so entertaining about this for him. "Why even choose to wear that dress if you're uncomfortable in it?"
"Why are you so concerned about what I wear? Ikaw ba ang may suot?"
Gusto ko nang maiyak sa frustration at iritasyon. Hindi ako sanay na nakakaramdam ng ganito kaya hindi ko alam kung paano kontrolin ang sariling emosyon. I rarely get pissed, but whenever I dealt with Zadkiel, I couldn't help but retaliate.
"Hindi ako ang may suot pero ako ang tumitingin—"
"Then look away?!"
"Listen, you obviously weren't comfortable in it. I asked you to change. I really meant well—"
"Shut up!" I said weakly and punched him repeatedly in the chest. Pakiramdam ko mababaliw na ako. "All you had to do was ask me nicely! Pero kinailangan mo pa talagang ipamukha sa aking pangit ang suot ko. I'm a girl, in case you forgot! I worked hard on looking presentable! Tapos iinsultuhin mo lang ako?!"
Hinuli niya ang mga kamay ko bago yumuko upang magtama ang tingin namin. "I didn't insult you. I told you I didn't like your dress. I never said you looked hideous in it."
"You said I looked like a slut! You said I looked easy!"
"I was pissed—"
"Shut up! Even if I was pissed, I would have never said something to hurt your self-esteem. You don't even think about how your words affect others!"
"Well, it's not my fault you're so sensitive!"
Naestatwa ako nang sabihin niya 'yon. Tinignan ko siya sa nanlalabong mga mata. Oh my gosh. Talaga bang hinahayaan ko ang lalaking itong diktahan ang nararamdaman ko? Binawi ko ang aking kamay mula sa kanya. He looked confused, then a flicker of panic flashed in his eyes.
Before he could even say anything, I left him there to look for a ride home.