Shivanna stayed behind with Jake, so only Kieran and Naomi headed into the meat and seafood section. A few solo customers looked through the freezers, but overall it was a pretty quiet evening to shop, especially when you left it until 8:30 at night.
"Have you trained dogs for a long time?" Kieran asked.
"I worked a few boring office jobs before, but three years ago, I took it on part-time, and I quit my other job soon after. It'll never make me rich, but I love going to work, and that's worth it." They turned left and kept going toward the very back aisle of the store where freezers lined the wall.
"That sounds awesome. Probably stressful but awesome."
Naomi nodded. "Do you enjoy what you do?"
Kieran shrugged as they passed the dairy section. "It pays the bills. I don't dread it, and I get to work alone for many of my jobs, so that's a perk, besides clients."
"Sometimes they're worse than the job. I tolerate humans to interact with their dogs."
He laughed because he related to the first part. Often when they booked an appointment for one issue, the client found others, and he stayed longer than he should to resolve the easy ones. "Did it work out with Dance Man?"
Naomi wore a half smile. "You could say that."
"Good for you. Got yourself that pizza in the end," he said gently with a slightly forced smile.
"Thanks. It's not officially a pizza yet, but I've gathered a few ingredients." Her cheeks were tinged red, which he found cute.
As disappointing as it was she was off the market, he was also happy for her since she'd wanted it so badly. "It won't take long. You seem pretty cool. How'd he react to the whole ace thing?"
Her eyebrows shot up. "You know ace? You hadn't even heard of asexuality the last time we talked."
"Jake filled in a few gaps when I mentioned you. He's a lot smarter than I am."
She looked at him then at the signs hanging above each aisle. Crap, should he not have told Jake?
"I relate to that. Everything Greg tells me about his work goes right over my head. He's my almost-a-pizza guy."
"You didn't answer my question."
Naomi bit her lip. "I'm still trying to find the right time to tell him. We're taking things slow, and he's okay with that. How would you react if the woman you liked came out as ace? Would it be a deal breaker?"
It wouldn't be his favourite surprise, but she was amazing in so many other ways. "It's hard to say. I don't know enough about it. What do you like and want to avoid with intimacy?"
Naomi's face went red as they turned into the frozen food aisle.
Way to go, Kieran. You need to socialize with people who aren't Jake or Brinny.
"Sorry, you don't have to answer that. Far too personal of a question."
"No, it's..." She held her shopping basket close to her torso. "I should be able to respond, especially if I want to confess to Greg."
"No pressure. You can tell me about dogs or ask invasive questions as payback."
Kieran stopped in front of the green boxes of pizza and grabbed a few meat lovers and one of those cauliflower crust veggie ones on the off chance that Jake wasn't using the pizza excuse as a set-up.
Naomi took a deep breath and ran her free hand over her sweatpants. She glanced behind them into the deserted baking aisle and kept her voice low. "I don't avoid sex completely. I usually get through it rather than enjoy it. It's like when you're working out, and you're exhausted. You want to give up, but there are five more minutes on the clock. So, you push through the discomfort because that's your goal. You're not in distress, but you also can't wait till it's over. Except the high is better after a workout than sex."
"That's depressing as hell." As Naomi's shoulders slumped, he added, "For you. Sex with the person you're into can be amazing. But it's unfair you don't experience that."
"It's part of who I am. Some people hate running, and it gives me an enormous boost. I would hate to hate running."
"Hating running is not so bad," Kieran partially joked, which made her smile. "Are there any parts of intimacy that aren't awful for you? You said you like kissing and cuddling, right?"
She switched her basket to the other arm as an older man walked by. Once he was down another aisle, she said, "I wouldn't say the other parts are awful or I hate them. They just don't live up to the hype for me. Kissing and cuddling are nice, as long as it doesn't move too fast. If does, my mind focuses on what's next, and I obsess over it and can't enjoy being with the person."
"Sounds like you gotta be the boss of the relationship."
"Guys love that," Naomi deadpanned.
"Depending on how you play it, it could be hot."
She stared at the ground. "Nothing hotter than your ace partner putting the brakes on your fantasies, right?"
"If it makes you uneasy, it's not a great experience for the other person or shouldn't be."
Naomi's wide-eyed gaze fixed on him before she snapped back to her composed self. "That's what I mean. No matter how much I love someone, it'll never match their vision of allosexual love. That lock the door, can't keep your hands off each other honeymoon phase I'll never experience or reciprocate."
It was a glorious phrase. He'd lived through it in Kingston and experienced the physical aspect with a few women since moving here, although it was never the same as with Katy. But if Naomi craved that emotional and romantic connection, there had to be others in her boat. "There are other asexual people, right? That one percent. Then you'd never have to sleep together. That's gotta be worth a shot."
"But I'm in love with Greg." Naomi took deep breaths as tears slid down her face. She wiped them away and apologized. A woman left the cereal aisle and glanced at them both. Naomi gave her a subtle thumbs up, and she moved on.
Just when Kieran thought he couldn't fail any worse at this. No wonder he had no other friends than Jake and Brinny. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this conversation to get so intense. Do you want a hug or is that like asking you to go to second base?"
A tear clung to the corner of her left eye as she stared at him. The seconds passed like hours as he regretted his words. "A hug would be nice."
After they set their shopping baskets down, she wrapped her arms around his torso. She was tall enough to lean her head against his shoulder, bringing a fruity shampoo scent to him. He tried to focus on the fact that she was upset, and not on her attractive body pressed into him. Her breathing slowed, and she held onto him for longer than he expected.
He hated to admit it, but it'd been years since he'd embraced someone like this just to reassure them. Jake wasn't emotional or physical, and with Brinny, hooking up with her always lingered in his mind.
When Naomi pulled away, her gaze remained on his face, a subdued smile on hers. "I'm sorry I'm an absolute mess, hugging strangers in the frozen food aisle."
She straightened out her sweater as she picked up her basket.
"Near strangers. And it's all good, you're not a mess. It's hard to tell people truths they don't want to hear that you can't change." He had his own he kept from Brinny, but by doing so he was also keeping a promise to Jake.
"Your friend's a lucky woman, whether or not she realizes it."
He snorted with laughter as they walked further down the aisle. "How so?"
"You're genuine, and you make me very comfortable."
He chuckled. "With those qualities, it's a wonder I'm still single. I'll have to add that to my dating profile: will make you extremely comfortable, also reclining and comes with a matching blanket and throw pillows."
Naomi held back a laugh with a grin. "I think it's a great thing. I'm going out with my best friend of ten years. That's as safe and comfortable as it gets." Her brown eyes looked very sincere. If only more women thought like her.
"That's not what she's into. After she got to know me, my lack of edginess disappointed her."
"There are plenty of others. Edgy and dangerous are overrated. Think of how many people are murdered or abused each year."
Kieran tensed. "I suppose you have a point." He hoped that basic truth—won't cause you physical or emotional harm—wasn't his best-selling feature.
"Sorry, I am as bad at compliments as I am at not over-sharing with you."
"It's my fault for asking invasive questions. It was a good effort, especially since you meant it. If anything, the over-sharing is great practice. Pretend he's me, and there won't be a secret left in you."
She laughed and smiled at him. "My secrets don't affect you. It's different."
"True, but I still think you're pretty cool. He'd be dense to walk away."
Was that a blush on her cheeks? "Thanks. We should probably find our people."
He glanced at her near-empty shopping basket with only a pack of two cinnamon buns. The final section they'd reached was all ice cream and frozen desserts. "You didn't pick snacks for the party."
"Right. What should I grab?"
"Can't go wrong with chicken wings and good barbeque sauce."
They retraced their steps to the meat section, and Naomi picked up a big box to put in her basket alongside the cinnamon buns and a loaf of bread.
"Planning for the morning after too?" He inclined his head toward her basket.
"Shivanna and I do a Wednesday brunch to celebrate hump day. This store makes amazing cinnamon buns if you're not ambitious enough to hit up a local bakery, which I don't think I will be tomorrow."
"Thanks for the tip. I'll pick up a pack here and eat them both in front of Jake to celebrate too."
She laughed as they headed toward the barbeque sauces. "You're such a good brother."
"He would much rather see that than consume all that sugar. He got weirdly health-conscious after we moved to Winnipeg. I'm not sure why. He's always been meticulous, but he's taking it to another level with this app. I'm hoping he moves onto a new project soon."
"At least he's passionate about what he does." They arrived at a wall of barbeque sauces. "What do I go with?"
"Regular and a fun one. Perhaps honey chipotle or whiskey maple?"
She grabbed the whiskey maple and put it in the basket. "Thank you."
As they walked past the checkouts to head back to the produce section and she remained quiet, Kieran wanted to reassure her one more time. "If anything bad happens with your guy, not saying it will, don't be too hard on yourself. You seem like an awesome person."
"Thanks, and you too with Brinny."
"Maybe we'll see each other on a cinnamon bun run in the future."
Naomi smiled. "That'd be alright. I'll try to be less of a mess."
"Or I could step up my game and outdo you so you don't stress."
She laughed as Shivanna and Jake came into view. "I'd owe you after today."
"I don't keep a tab."
Shivanna spotted them. "They return with spoils."
"Hopefully Jake didn't bore you to death with his fruit facts."
Shivanna looked at Jake and grinned. "I learned a lot of new things, so thank you."
Jake returned the gesture, which wasn't typical for him. "You're welcome. Glad I could help. It was nice meeting you both."
"You too," the women said before they left.
As Kieran and Jake walked toward the baked goods section, Jake continued to grin, "So how was your chat with Naomi?"
"Oh, you know, I asked her far too personal questions that made her break down, so ideal."
Jake scowled. "You're joking, right?"
"I wish I was. She's worried about the guy she's seeing. Then we talked about asexuality and love, and she got all... sad."
"Difficult being asexual in a world that prizes allosexual people."
"What does that mean?"
"Society pushes heterosexual monogamy as the measure of success. For our grandparents, the white picket fence, wife, kids, and stable job meant you were a pillar of society, upholding your civic duty. It's changed a bit, but people still idolize marriage, and the media depicts a couple's success as directly related to the regularity of their sex life. I can't understand how an asexual person subjects themselves to that world, but some do."
"She's in love."
"The cause of so many illogical decisions."
"One day, you'll understand, Jake. It's worth it."
Jake chuckled as Kieran grabbed a pack of cinnamon buns.
***
They finally meet up again! Hope you enjoyed seeing them catch up. Do you think Kieran will take Naomi up on the dog training offer or find another way to see her?
Just a disclaimer on Naomi's reflections on asexuality. It's a spectrum and not every asexual person reacts to or experiences sex in the same way. Some enjoy it despite not experiencing sexual attraction, others may never have it nor want to, and some land in the middle like Naomi.