𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐀𝐃𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒.
alex looked down.
"you look good." he grinned.
"don't flirt with me at a funeral, ale." cherry paused him.
the family entered the funeral home, and a woman greeted penelope and elena.
"penelope, linda." the woman commented. "i see you're still enjoying your mother's tostones."
"haha, hi, tía." penelope greeted.
"hello, elena. still just the one eyebrow?" the woman questioned.
"i guess that was tía bitchy." elena scoffed.
"yeah." penelope nodded.
"i need to hide. this funeral is like the walking dead of tías. i mean.." alex motioned to himself.
"are all of those from tia's?" elena questioned, staring at the kiss marks on his face.
"no, half of them are from cherry." alex looked over at his girlfriend.
"do you ever just not speak?" cherry questioned.
"you love me!" alex wrapped an arm around her shoulder.
"oh, oh, oh, there's tía pilar. i've always wondered if she's gay." elena pointed a at woman.
"elena, you think everyone is gay. pilar is just eccentric! she rides a motorcycle, she owns seven cats, she shares a one-bedroom apartment with her long-time roommate, susan. how is that gay?" lydia questioned, and walked away.
"mami, what's that?" elena asked.
"all right, pilar is definitely gay, but nobody talks about it. everybody's like, well, you know pilar. she's just.."
"that is so offensive."
"it is? oh, it is. i'm woke."
"this is ridiculous. i'm just gonna ask pilar if she's gay. someone in this family needs to accept her, and i can shepherd her out of the closet and into the light!"
"like a lesbian jesus?" alex questioned.
cherry laughed. "elena, you're my saviour."
"i love that. because i have long hair, and i'm a really good carpenter, and i look really good in birkenstocks!" elena grinned.
"hey, baby, nobody looks good in birkenstocks." penelope cringed.
"you said i did!" max gasped.
"i lied." penelope patted her boyfriend on the back.
"alex looks good in birkenstocks!" cherry grinned.
"i know, thank you." alex flexed his non-existent muscles.
"nevermind." cherry scoffed.
"besides, it's none of our business, and it would be rude to ask, so don't. okay?" penelope asked.
"okay." elena shrugged.
«───── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ─────»
lydia approached alex and cherry.
she was trying to hide a mantilla with the dead body.
"papito, there are too many people around. it's time to do what we talked about." lydia looked between the two kids.
cherry groaned.
"no! please, there must be another way." alex begged.
"there is no other way." lydia motioned them away.
alex stood by the side of the room, and raised his voice.
"does anybody want to meet my girlfriend, and see pictures of us at homecoming?" alex asked, with a frown.
cherry gave a slight wave.
a bunch of aunts surrounded the pair.
"don't touch the hair!" alex begged.
«───── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ─────»
reception was being held in the alvarez apartment.
"did you get any chismes?" elena questioned schneider.
"no! everyone speaks spanish so much faster than on my tapes. i did hear something about pilar moving to tampa though." schneider whispered.
"what? no! she's probably moving because the family doesn't accept her. i have to do something about it. she's the only other gay in the family." slena frowned.
a little boy approached elena.
"elena, can i borrow your chapstick? pero if it's not fenty by rihanna, then i don't even want to look at it." the little boy frowned.
"not now, flavio." elena waved him off.
flavio stormed off.
cherry offered him her fenty chapstick, and he took it with a smile.
"my whole family loves you." alex said, sitting beside cherry.
"good." cherry grinned. "but do you love me more than they love me?"
"no shit."
"damn, i was just checking! but i think i like flavio more than i like you."
"wow. okay. i see how it is. maybe i'll go hangout with josh flores!"
"you wouldn't!"
"watch me!"
cherry pulled him back down onto the couch, pressing a kiss on his cheek, adding to the marks.
«───── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ─────»
lydia and mirtha finished singing.
"oh! i am so happy that stupid mantilla crap is behind us." penelope grinned.
"right?" the woman agreed.
"yes."
"where is it, anyway?"
"it's in mami's bag. don't worry, we'll keep it safe."
"oh, you know what? we can just take it. i didn't have it at my wedding, and i'd love to get mine and juan's name stitched in it."
"oh, okay. and then you'll just give it back after?"
"oh, are you getting remarried?"
"i mean, i could. but my kids are the oldest and the next in line to get married, so it just kind of makes sense."
"does it?"
"what does that mean?"
"well, elena is, you know.."
the woman shrugged.
"excuse me? because your son flavio is.." penelope shrugged, more dramatically.
max watched the drama happen.
"seriously, this whole apartment is yellow? somebody give tía divorce a color wheel." flavio looked around the room.
alex and cherry sat beside max, also watching.
"hand over the mantilla, penelope." the woman demanded.
"make me, tía gray tooth!" penelope argued, pulling on the mantilla.
"i got it fixed!"
"it doesn't match!"
"i got it!"
"you better give that back!"
"no, never! i am getting mine and juan's names on here, and taking yours and victor's off!"
"what?"
"she couldn't keep him tied down. why should the mantilla?"
the entire room gasped.
max just blinked, and said nothing.
"oh, that was nasty! te la juro! you know what? monica is no longer tía bitchy, you are!" schneider called out.
"who calls me tía bitchy?" monica questioned.
"tell her to let go. that mantilla belongs to us!" lydia's sister demanded.
"i had a stroke!" lydia called out.
cherry and alex looked up.
"what?" the woman questioned.
"i got it!" penelope pulled back the mantilla.
"así! oh, oh, oh. i am sorry. i meant i had a stroke of genius." lydia grinned.
"mami, there are no names stitched on here."
"what? no. this is not a mantilla."
"she's right! this is just some random piece of lace." flavios mother pulled away.
"so, you stuffed some worthless piece of caca into the casket with ophelia?" lydia's sister asked.
"you knew?" lydia gasped.
"of course i knew! no one gets buried with a mantilla! we're cubans, not ancient egyptians." her sister frowned.
"so, who has the real mantilla?" flavio's mother asked.
"well, la diabla obviously." lydia motioned to her sister, mirtha.
"mentirosa! you have it." mirtha argued.
"how dare you call me mentirosa when you walk around acting like that is your hair color?"
"oh, well, at least i can still salsa without breaking a hip!"
"well, i'll admit that you are light on your hooves. but i would like to show you what that step looks like when you don't have feet like a chupacabra."
"just admit you have the mantilla!"
pilar stepped out of the kitchen.
"wait, the mantilla is what you all have been fighting about?" pilar questioned.
"yes!" the room called out.
"i have it. susan and i used it at our wedding." she looked around at all the confused faces. "you were all there!"
"that was a wedding?" monica asked.
"i just thought it was a very affectionate barbecue." lydia shrugged.
"oh my god!" elena complained.
"holy shit, this is so interesting." cherry gasped.
"feels like a tv show." alex agreed.
"when is this gonna be over?" max questioned. "actually, i don't think i want it to be over."
"so, we've been fighting for over 20 years about nothing?" mirtha questioned.
"we should all be ashamed of ourselves. look at what this has done to us. mami, you lost your sister. i lost my best friend." penelope frowned.
"yeah, lupe is right. i have missed you, mirtha." lydia hugged her sister.
"i've missed you too, mi hermana." mirtha admit.
"i was in a coma because i had a stroke. i know, i'm sorry i didn't tell you."
"ay, pucha! i'm so glad you're okay. let's put this all behind us. who knows how much time we have left? after all, i had cancer."
"you are right.. even though a coma beats cancer."
"if there's one thing we can take from ophelia's death is that life is too short. we shouldn't spend it fighting. yeah, we're gonna have differences, but what does that matter? we're family. okay? familia para siempre." penelope called out.
the room agreed.
"i am so glad we're good again. promise me that we'll keep in touch." flavio's mother, estrellita, hugged penelope.
"of course, because we love each other too much to let anything get in between us again." penelope nodded.
estrellita grabbed a glass, and hit it lightly with a spoon.
"i wanna make a toast. to ophelia." she raised up the glass. "at least she got to see our president make america great again."
max's eyes widened.
"oh hell no." cherry said, looking over at alex.
"i'm sorry, what?" penelope asked.