Alex's POV
The plane was back in the air, and we were all in loser class.
But hey, I'm a glass half full kind of guy, so at least we're in the air at all!
"Why are we in loser class? we won last time or didn't lose anyway!" Heather said.
"Chris said he needs first class for a secret special guest!' Sierra said excitedly "And what Chris needs-"
"Chris takes" Scarlett said, writing in her notebook "From us, usually."
"She has a point" I agreed.
Courtney sat down on a bench, sadly on Gwen's hand.
"Ahhh! Sunburnnnn!" Gwen exclaimed, blowing on her hand.
"Oops. Sorry" Courtney apologized "How do you get sunburn on just one hand?"
"ah! I don't know!" Gwen winced.
Cody looked around guiltily.
What did the simp do?
Courtney handed Gwen a bucket full of a white goop.
"here, soak your hand in this" she said
"What is it?" Gwen asked suspiciously.
"It'll cool the burn" Courtney explained.
That still doesn't explain what the hell it is.
Gwen put her hand in the goop.
"It's a special mixture of green tea and bird guano!" Courtney smiled. Gwen dipped her hand in it.
"Ahhhh" Gwen sighed happily, before realizing, "wait, Guano? Isn't that-"
"A nicey nice name for POOP!" Heather grinned.
"Ewwww!" Gwen said in disgust, pulling her hand out of the goop.
Confessional
Alex: How- how did she even get that much? Ugh, never mind, I- I don't even want to know
End
"Poop that's filled with healing ingredients! I learnt to make it at CIT first aid weekend! It's gross, but it helps right?" Courtney said hopefully
"Ugh. Yes" Gwen sighed, putting her hand back in the bucket "Well, thanks for being nice. Ish."
"Bonding over poop juice? Is there anyone sane left on this plane?" Heather scoffed, before noticing Sierra typing in a pizza box.
"That would be a no." Heather said in concern.
"at least we're relevantly close to the usual merge time." Scarlett said, still writing in her notebook.
"What are you writing senorita?" Alejandro asked, looking over her shoulder.
She snapped her notebook shut "Oh, just my project on how to spot an idiot. You've been very helpful." she snarked before leaving.
Confessional
Scarlett: I need him gone! *Door opens* What the- *Someone puts a bag over her head* Hey! *Pulls bag off head and starts kicking the attacker* LEAVE! ME! ALONE! *Gets knocked out with a frying pan*
End
"Twitter update! Gwen's hand smells like Jamaican bird doodie. Cody is still cute." Sierra giggled, still 'typing' in her pizza box '"Uh, sixty seven characters down, ok, seventy three left... what else can I say?"
"Considering buying myself a life on craigslist, but having trouble deciding since they're all such a major improvement" Noah said in a high pitched voice.
I bit my lip to hold back a laugh. Owen didn't
"bahahaha!" he laughed, before milk squirted out of his nose onto Noah.
"ew" I winced.
"Dude!" Noah said in disgust.
"did I get some of my nose milkshake on you? Sorry!" Owen apologized "It's the only thing that can cool down a snoot full of Jamaican pepper!" he continued, before shoving some more chilli peppers in his mouth.
"Hot! HOT!" he wheezed "MILKKKKKK!".
He chugged some more milk.
"Must learn how to make nose shakes like Owen! That'll impress Cody!" Noah said in his high pitched voice.
I couldn't help but laugh at that.
Owen laughed again, shooting a pepper out of his nose which hit the walls, before smacking Tyler in the face.
"Hey! Weak!" he said.
Noah laughed.
"Check it out! I'll shoot a pepper out of whichever nostril you guys pick! Seriously, just choose! Owen said.
"Yeah, because one nose-shake a day isn't enough" Noah said sarcastically.
"Aw, but I'm out of milk..." Owen said sadly
"hey Courtney, how much more of that poop juice have you got?" I joked, causing them both to laugh.
Confessional
Alex: Self esteem boost! Woohoo!
End
The loudspeaker crackled to life "attention helpless competitors, we've been denied a landing permit, so you'll have to jump" Chris said.
We all complained.
"And, chef might have miscounted the parachutes". Gulp. "So, you might want to light a pepper under your butts and grab one before they're gone".
"wait, where's Scarlett?" I asked in concern
"All will be explained, now jump before you're in another plane crash" Chris said, clearly not caring much.
We all ran to get parachutes.
Noah and Owen had to share one, so yeah, um. Yeah. Might phone an ambulance.
I put my parachute on.
"Goodluck" I said to Noah and Owen before jumping.
I yanked the cord and slowly floated to the ground and landed on a bridge beside Sierra who was clutching Cody's arm.
"Ooooooh, London! Did you know that Queen Mary got engaged when she was only fifteen?" Sierra said happily.
"Hehe. Cool. Can I have my hand back now?" Cody said in boredom.
Sierra frowned
"That's a really cool fact Sierra" I said to the girl, who smiled happily.
Confessional
Alex: Sierra seems pretty cool, with all the stuff she knows about the cast. She's also a really good slap dancer *Grins*
End
Owen landed on Noah.
"That's gotta hurt" Courtney remarked.
"No kidding" Gwen said, before they both laughed.
I live for the friendship, and I definitely live for the ship.
We took off our parachutes and got on a double decker bus. I sat beside Heather. Don't ask me why.
"Wait, where's Alejandro?" Heather exclaimed.
Confessional
Alex: Aww, she likes him. That's so cute! I shall dub them, Aleheather!
End
"And Scarlett, as I asked before" I added
"Yes, where are they? That in a sec, but first, GUN IT CHEF!" Chris yelled.
The bus started driving.
"Idiot" Heather muttered.
"Agreed" I nodded
"London! Home to tons of wicked stuff! Big Ben, The Tower of London, a sandwich stuffed with French fries known as the 'Chip butty'" Chris narrated
"Yes please!" Owen said in excitement.
"London's also home to Scotland yard, the world's biggest crime busting outlet" Chris continued "But there was one case that even Scotland yard couldn't crack... Jack The Ripper!!!"
We all gasped
"Aw crud" I said.
"The wacko serial killer who terrorized Victorian London! Today, you'll be tracking down this bad boy! But be CAREFUL! jack's also hunting you! Which is why Team Chris is Really, really, really, really hot is now shorthanded!" Chris said.
"The ripper got Scar and Al?! NOT SCAR AND AL!!!" Owen wailed. I chewed on my thumbnail.
Confessional
Alex: Crap crap crap crap craaaaaaaaaaaaap *Breathes into paper bag*
End
"Next stop, the tower of London!" Chris said
"D-do you think Alejandro's ok?" Heather asked nervously. Gwen, Courtney and I "Because, um, wow. Big advantage for us! Yay!"
I rolled my eyes and looked down at my phone.
Confessional
Alex: *Clapping hands on each syllable* A-le-hea-ther!
End
"Should we look for Alejandro and Scarlett?" I heard Heather say "You know, just incase this is some crazy scheme of theirs?"
"Scarlett would never team up with Alejandro. Ever." I said confidently "Besides, Chris can't legally kill us. Or at least, I don't think so..." I added, less confidently.
"You'd think so, but we totally would! Imagine the ratings!" Chris said, walking by eating a sandwich stuffed with French fries.
"Shit" Heather cursed.
~~~~~
We arrived at the tower of London.
"Your task is to follow a series of clues through the tower complex all the way to The Ripper's secret lair. Bag the criminal mastermind before he gets you, and you win." Chris said
"Your first clue will be found during the changing of the guard. and when I say change, I mean change the guard. Your clue is hidden somewhere inside their uniform, so one of you has to strip him down to his gitch to find it!"
We all gasped.
"Woah, strip a dude? I'm out!" Tyler said.
"Up to you bro! million bucks, all I'm saying" Chris shrugged "And while you're at it-".
The song bell rang.
~~~~~~~~~~🎶
Alex: It's creepy how they stand there,
and don't even blink!
Owen: I don't wanna see his bum, all naked and pink!
Noah: Hey buddy,
Can we bribe you,
to strip yourself down?
Owen: Yum yum happy go time fish?
Noah and Alex: Don't kill him, Owen/ you clown!
Courtney: No way, I can't strip him,
Duncan will freak!
Heather: And I'm allergic to uniforms.
Gwen: Okay, that's just weak.
Sierra: I made a vow that Cody's the only man for me!
Gwen: Okay, so then I have to do it? Uh, hello!? Injury!? Ow!
Courtney: If we're gonna find that clue...
Heather: There's only one thing to do!
Sierra: Force someone to strip him down!
Courtney, Heather, and Sierra: And, sorry, Gwen, that's you!
Gwen: Ow! Oh, wait!
Alex: If we're gonna find that clue...
Owen: There's only one thing to do!
Noah: Force someone to strip him down!
Noah, Alex and Owen: And Tyler, dude, that's you!
Gwen: Sierra! Look! It's Cody!
And I think he wants to strip!
Sierra: Poor honey! Quick, get out of those things.
And that will help, I bet.
Gwen: Yeah, we're gonna find that clue.
Heather: We're doing what Chris proposed!
Courtney: Force someone to strip him down!
Courtney, Gwen and Heather: Cause if we don't, we're hosed!
Courtney: Totally ho-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-osed!
~~~~~~~~~~🎶
Confessional
Alex: Ah yes, a song about stripping old men, in the same series where there was a song about encouraging scarabs to do the dirty, such an appropriate tv show for children *Claps sarcastically*
End
We ended up doing rock paper scissors and Tyler lost.
Sadly, Tyler is Tyler.
"You lost rock paper scissors fair and square, stop throwing the game!" Noah said
"I'm not! You try taking off a dudes panty-hose with your teeth!" Tyler said.
*Facepalm*
"Tyler, no one said that you need to use your teeth" I said slowly.
"Oh." Tyler realized
"Ugh, I'll do it, but if we lose, I am not going home tonight!" Noah sighed
Confessional
Alex: Dude, everyone already thinks you're gay, volunteering to strip a guy probably didn't help matters. Oh well. I'm still shipping Noco *Pulls out phone and starts typing*
End
"A pen in his pants pocket, lint in his socks, that's it!" Noah said "and no way am I searching his boxers!"
"That's justified, and thanks for trying anyway." I thanked "The tip probably blew away or something. Let's just start rooting around in the bushes or something".
"Or we could find another guy to strip?" Owen suggested, pulling of the hat from the guard that he was wearing.
To reveal the clue.
"Hey look, there's a clue in here!" Owen smiled
Confessional
Alex: Push emotions down, push emotions down, push emotions down.
End
Noah glared at him
"Funny right?" Owen said nervously "I say, pip pip" he added in a British accent.
I took the clue from him "Pull taut atop a Southern spire..." I read, before realizing "I got it! Follow me!"
~
We ran up to the torture room.
I read a sign in a torture rack
Tie someone on and stretch for your next clue
"Ugh, great. Are we going to have to play rock paper scissors again to see who gets stretched?" I sighed.
"I'm flexible to the extreme bro!" Tyler said, before doing... I don't know what he did, but it was weird.
"Sweaty moksha yoga! Woohoo!" Tyler cheered
Um, I've done yoga, and I don't remember that pose.
"Quick! Tie him down before Alejandro shows up and makes me or Alex do it just because we're shorter" Noah said with an eyeroll.
"Why do you hate Al? He's awesome!" Owen said.
"I don't trust the guy! he's like an eel, dipped in grease, swimming in motor oil" Noah said
"Dirty?" Owen asked
"Slippery" I corrected "He is sorta untrustworthy. I mean, he caused nearly every elimination on my team in some way...".
"How?" Noah asked
"Well, he encouraged Harold to vote for himself, he got Bridgette stuck to that stupid pole, he riled up LeShawna into attacking Heather, and he told Dj he wasn't cursed, which caused him to lose" I listed
"See? He's like Scarlett, but with social skills!" Noah said.
"Well yeah, but I don't have proof that he did some of those things on purpose" I said
"Oh! Stop! it's too much! STOOOOOOOP!" Tyler screamed in pain.
"You do know we haven't started yet, right?" Noah asked.
Tyler glanced around.
"My bad, I'll go silent. Sweaty yoga-ish monk dude style" Tyler smiled.
Noah turned the wheel, stretching Tyler.
Tyler was holding in screams.
"Are you doing that yoga thing where you breathe through your toenails? Oh, that is so cool!" Owen smiled, oblivious to Tyler's obvious pain.
A small door on the rack popped open. Noah stopped turning the wheel.
"Yes! The clue!" Noah cheered.
I took it from him "If your teammate can still use his feet, bring him down for something to eat" I read
"Food! It must be the banquet hall! FOOOOOOOOOD!" Owen yelled, running out, chanting the word 'food'
Noah and I shrugged before running after him.
"Hey guys, you know what's hilarious?" Owen asked
"We forgot Tyler." I realized, skidding to a halt.
"How is that hilarious?" Owen asked
We ran back to the torture room.
"Sorry dude, but you got so good at being quiet-" Noah started saying, before we noticed that the rack was empty
"NOOOOOO! TYLER!!!!!" we all exclaimed.
"Do we get penalties for lost players?" I asked nervously
"I don't think so, but just in case, we can't lose anyone else!" Noah said.
We went back to the banquet hall. I felt incredibly on edge.
I noticed a small treasure chest on the table.
Noah and I started sorting through it.
"Aha! Got it! A clue!" Noah cheered.
"You call that an attack?" we heard Owen laugh we turned to see a bunch of corgis biting him "Hey Noah, Alex, check it out! It's a fur coat for animal lovers!".
"Ha" Noah laughed in his usual deadpan tone
I started removing the corgis from him. They were very cute, but I still prefer cats.
"Read the clue" I directed, getting the last of the corgis off Owen.
"The ripper's most natural place has two levels that make up it's space..." Noah read "Pft, sure. Easy peasy..."
I read the whole clue
The ripper's most natural place has two levels that make up it's space. Go use your sack to bring the guy back to the red starting line to the race.
"Double decker bus?" I suggested
"huh. Yeah. Nice work." Noah said
Confessional
Alex: It was kinda obvious if I'm being honest
End
"Hey, can the dogs come with us? I think they like me" Owen said. He was once again covered in corgis.
"Um, sure" I said awkwardly.
We went back to the double decker bus.
We went inside.
"Here ripper, ripper, ripper. We have a lovely bag for you" Owen said nervously.
He and I heard muffled screaming from behind us. We whirled around to see the 'Ripper' had grabbed Noah. He shoved the small guy into a glass box around the drivers seat.
Noah screamed and hit the wall of the glass box.
"Nobody locks my little buddy in the corner! Royal beasts, sick him!" Owen said.
The corgis attacked Owen.
I facepalmed, before noticing a sausage in Owen's pocket. I grabbed it and tossed it at The Ripper.
"Fetch!" I yelled. The Corgis attacked him. I put the bag over his head.
"yeah! We got him!" Owen cheered, high fiving me
"Alright Alex!" Noah cheered.
"Who's Jack the 'Ripper' now, huh?" Owen asked, before farting.
I gagged and covered my nose, but it was too late.
I ran out of the bus and vomited.
Confessional
Alex: What does that guy eat?
End
We went back to the plane with the Ripper in our sack.
Scarlett, Heather, Sierra, Cody, Tyler and Alejandro were all safe and sound.
Scarlett walked over to me
"Alex, the Amazons managed to find-" she began, before Chris pushed her over.
"Shhh! Don't spoil the surprise!" he said
Confessional
Scarlett: Don't kill him, don't kill him, don't kill him, don't kill him, don't kill him, I'm gonna kill him, don't kill him, don't kill him
End
"Sweet! Everyone's ok!" Owen smiled
"Yep. Everyone's fine! You were so stupid to be worried" Heather said.
ALEHEATHER WILL LIVE!!!!!
"But it was reassuring to see some were concerned" Alejandro said, glaring at Noah.
"You were watching everything?" Noah asked nervously "Wow, that's awkward..."
Wait, does that mean Scarlett saw me freaking out about her being missing?
Crap.
"Like an eel dipped in grease" Alejandro glared
"Swimming in motor oil" Scarlett added with a smirk.
Noah laughed nervously "Where I'm from that's a compliment! Tough neighborhood!" he said.
Confessional
Alex: *Holding teacup* I have an idea! let's change the subject!
(Please get the reference)
End
"But hey, we caught the ripper type guy!" I said, changing the subject. I pulled the sack off the ripper's head.
"*Le gasp* Old man Jenkins?" we exclaimed
"Zoinks" I muttered
"Jinkies" Scarlett added
Ooh, yay. A fellow Scooby Doo fan!
Chris pulled the mask off 'Old man Jenkins' to reveal
"*le gasp* Ezekiel?!" we all exclaimed
"Jeez dude, what happened to you?" I asked.
Ezekiel did not look his finest. His skin was green, he had a bite taken out of his ear. His eyes were bloodshot, and his hair was messy and tangled.
He growled at us.
"Does he have rabies, or like, nightshade poisoning?" Scarlett questioned, noticing his symptons.
"Found him in the cargo hold homeschooling with the rats!" Chef shrugged, as if that wasn't incredibly concerning.
"I was gonna let him back in the game if he could avoid capture, but, since he could not," Chris said snapping his fingers, before Ezekiel was thrown out of the plane.
"So who did Courtney and Gwen catch?" I questioned.
"Well, we were supposed to catch a criminal, so, ok, we didn't get the right one but-" Gwen said, before taking the bag off her and Courtney's hostage to reveal
"*Le gasp* DUNCAN?!" we all exclaimed
Confessional
Scarlett: Ok, someone snuck some acid in my coffee or something
End
"You brought me back here? Ugh! Where's the stupid exit again?" Duncan demanded, starting to walk out.
Chris stopped him.
"easy quitter! Thought you could skip out on the show, huh? Thought I wouldn't find you?" Chris said.
"Um, you didn't. We did." Gwen smiled, before looking at Duncan "Sorry..." she apologized.
"And that is why team amazon wins today's competish!" Chris said
"Yes!" Courtney and Gwen cheered
"WHAT?!" Noah, owen and Scarlett exclaimed in anger.
"Head on back to the elimination room guys and gal. First class goes to the ladies!" Chris said.
~~~~~
Confessional
Tyler: Alejandro and I agreed to vote for Noah, so bye dude *Stamps Noah's passport*
alejandro: *Stamps Noah's passport* Sorry, my book loving amigo, but this 'eel' is going to the finals!
Noah: I vote for Alejandro. And Scarlett, Alex and Owen agreed to as well, so I should be safe! *Stamps Alejandro's passport*
Duncan: Al and Tyler asked me to vote for Noah, so whatever *Stamps Noah's passport*
Owen: Aw man, I can't vote for Al! He's one of my friends! Um... Eeny, meeny, miny, mo *Stamps random passport
Scarlett: *Stamps Alejandro's passport* bye bye Eel-ejandro
Alex: I vote for Alejandro, I guess. Sorry man *Stamps Alejandro's passport*
End
"And, with four votes against him, the person taking the drop of shame will be... Noah!" Chris said "It's time to say pip pip, cherio, toodle-oooo!"
"ugh, if I jump will you stop?" Noah asked
"I'll win for ya buddy" Owen said
"And I'll gladly get revenge for you" Scarlett said, cracking her knuckles
"Whatever, just beware of eels!!!" Noah warned, before jumping.