Dazai let the door close behind him, not bothering to even lock it once he was inside the apartment. Everything was still a mess. He didn't bother to even tidy up the cot area since he and (Y/n) left for the safe house.
He couldn't bring himself to even close the closet doors after picking out a dress for her to wear for her funeral.
Dazai threw his dress jacket off and onto the kitchen counter, slinking past it and onto the cot. He sat next to it, picking off various pieces of clothing one-by-one as he waited to lay down.
He stopped as he grabbed a black and white long-sleeve from the cot. He rubbed the fabric between his fingertips, imagining her arm underneath. Of course, the shirt was always hidden by her (f/c) rain jacket and those matching pair of boots. They made the most annoying squeak as she walked. How he missed the sound of that squeak.
Dazai pressed the shirt to his chest, lowering his head. As his eyes began to close, exhaustion washing over him, he heard a knock at the door. He dropped the shirt and pulled himself to his feet.
He didn't even bother to check nor look through the peephole as he opened the door. Kunikida stood in front of him. His eyes were red and puffy, a tissue stuffed up the sleeve of his dress jacket.
Nothing was said between them at first. Kunikida broke the silence as he asked, "How are you holding up?"
Dazai let out a sigh. "Not good."
"Yeah? Me either."
Neither spoke further, looking at each other for a moment. Kunikida looked past him, noticing the mess within his apartment. His eyes fell on the black-and-white shirt next to the cot.
"It was strange seeing her parents there. I didn't even know they kept in contact."
"They didn't," Dazai stated. "I managed to find them while the arrangements were made. I found a way to break the news to them."
"I'm sorry you had to do that alone."
"I'm not. It's better that I did it alone. Or rather than anyone other than I did it."
Kunikida wrung his hands together, the thought of her mother staring down in the casket with glassed-over eyes haunting his mind. Dazai asked him, "Are you going to go see Hinami soon?"
"I plan to. We're going to get coffee this Friday to talk. She's devastated."
"I bet she is."
Neither spoke again, wondering what else there was to discuss. There was no more for them to do or say. Kunikida couldn't take it anymore and finally said, "I'm sorry that any of this had to happen."
"Me too." Dazai looked down, his lips curling into the slightest smile as he let out a chuckle. "You know, if I hadn't joined the Agency all those years ago, there's a chance that (Y/n) would've gotten together with you."
"Don't say that." Kunikida shook his head. "We don't know that that would've happened. Let's just... not talk about what could have been."
Dazai nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Let's not wonder if things had gone differently. It's better not to know if it would have been any better than this or not."
It had been years since Dazai last dreamed. At least a dream as good as this one.
He stood at the port, wearing a suit with a white rose pinned to his jacket. His hands folded in front of him as he waited for the rest of his life to walk down that aisle.
Everything was so slow.
The way (Y/n) walked down the aisle, her sleeves waving blissfully in the salty breeze. Her heels clicking quietly with every step. How she looked angelic with a flower crown placed so delicately on top of her hair. That beautiful smile on her face as she walked towards him.
She gave the white and blue bouquet to Yosano once she reached the end of the aisle. Fukuzawa looked between them, his voice quiet as he officiated the ceremony. Her hands were so soft in Dazai's, squeezing him once in a while. He could feel her tremble slightly – not from nerves, but excitement.
Finally, they each say, "I do" and place a ring on each other's fingers. He leaned down, preparing to press his lips against hers one last time.
Dazai snapped upright, sweat dripping down his face. He ran his hands through his hair, his palms glistening with sweat. His breathing was harsh and frantic. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest.
He slowed his breathing, calming himself down. Once his chest no longer felt like it was about to explode, he slowly pressed his fingers against his lips. It felt like his heart was about to break.
His eyes fluttered shut. As he fell back against the cot, he muttered, "(Y/n)..."
Buzz, buzz.
Kunikida rolled over at the sound of his phone. He pushed against the pillows, reaching for the small device before it could buzz a second time.
He pulled on his glasses, spotting Yokohama Central on the caller ID as he answered, "Hello?"
"Mr. Kunikida? We've been trying to reach Mr. Dazai but we haven't been able to."
"What's the problem?"
"It's his lab tests, we've noticed a dire problem in the toxin he was injected with a few nights ago."
Concern soon became evident in his voice, "What's the problem?"
"We're not sure yet. Please bring him in as soon as possible. We need to do some more tests on him immediately."
Kunikida hung up the phone, rushing out of bed. He sprinted from his apartment over to Dazai's, pounding on the door once he arrived.
"Dazai? Dazai, are you in there?!"
The door slowly creaked open. Kunikida pushed it further, creeping inside. He walked past the mess, Dazai's jacket lying on the kitchen counter, to the cot. Kunikida ran his hand through his hair, the other pulling his glasses off.
He was too late.
Dazai didn't recognize where he was at first. Simply lying on the dewy grass as he started up at the startling blue sky. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there. He merely blinked and it changed to night. The stars were beautiful and there wasn't a cloud in sight.
He slowly sat up, realizing that he was in his usual work attire – all except for the sand-colored coat.
Dazai pulled himself to his feet, hearing the sound of water splashing in the distance. He slowly began walking towards it. It was as if a magnet were pulling him closer, beckoning him to draw near.
He stopped at the crest of the hill, watching as pink petals fell from the most beautiful tree into what looked to be a bottomless pond.
"Hello?" he called out, slowly walking down the hill.
He stopped in front of the pond, staring into it as he saw his reflection. He kneeled down, reaching to touch the water. He stopped just before he could brush against the surface.
The image of a (f/c) jacket appeared in the reflection. He stood up, watching as (Y/n) appeared from around the tree. She appeared as she did when he first saw her: in a black-and-white long sleeve with a (f/c) rain jacket over it, paired with black shorts and a pair of matching (f/c) rainboots.
She only said one thing once he'd spotted her, "Hi Osamu."
Dazai sprinted over to her, breathless and speechless as he wrapped his arms around her. He enveloped her in the tightest hug he'd ever given anyone.
After pressing a long kiss to her lips, he asked, "Am I in Heaven?"
(Y/n) burst out laughing. She wiped a tear from her eye as she responded, "God no. This is the ethereal plain. After dying, Ryuji sent me—" (Y/n) stopped herself as the words came out. It finally dawned on her why he was there. "And he sent you here too."
Dazai didn't seem to really process what she told him. He rubbed his hands against her arms as he further asked, "Is this a dream?"
The water behind them suddenly began to bubble. The two turned around, watching as a portion of it glowed. The watery dragon suddenly appeared in front of them.
(Y/n) stepped forward, taking Dazai's hand as she led him towards Ryuji. Ryuji lowered himself down to their level, sharing a slight nod with (Y/n).
She reached for him, running a hand against his side as she quietly said, "Thank you for this final act of kindness."
She turned back to Dazai, who was clearly in awe at the sight of Ryuji. It had been so long since he'd laid eyes on the magnificent creature.
(Y/n) took his hand, raising his palm towards Ryuji. Ryuji leaned forward, pressing the end of his nose against Dazai's palm.
"I'm petting Ryuji," he muttered. He leaned forward, enveloping Ryuji in a hug. "He's so squishy!"
(Y/n)'s lips curled into a smile. "Thank you for everything."
FIN.