"What is that?!"
Jesse hadn't meant to blurt it out so judgementally.
Honestly.
She didn't.
A slip of the tongue.
But the love struck look on her friend's face had her heart wringing out and when they got into her car one look at the graffitied cast had her eyes bulging and stomach falling into a seemingly never ending pit. It wasn't like she couldn't put the pieces together, that Yasmine wrote on his cast, but Jesse couldn't help but frown in disbelief when it was combined with the look of someone who saw water for the first time in months.
"O-oh, yeah..." Demetri mumbled out sheepishly, holding up his cast as if a KPop artist signed it with their blood. "Yasmine... oh man, my heart for her has come back!"
Jesse's words died out in her chest, stomped down along with her heart into flat pancakes the size of her fists. She swallowed, trying to regather her thoughts and not let out the harsh string of words that threatened to overflow with her clenched fists as a power up. The hurt she had felt begged to be let out, to be delivered tenfold, and she would be able to do it so very well... she could make him cry again!
"O-oh, that's. That's nice."
Did girls have voice cracks?
At the soft, almost weak, approval, Demetri shot off into his explanation of what had happened. How Yasmine had come to him to sign his cast without him even initiating! Then he accidentally word vomited and it worked in his favor, so then she smiled and they share science, didn't she know?!
And Jesse had to listen quietly and nod her head at each passing moment. Her skirt heavy with dried gum and a new knife digging into her chest at nearly every word. She longed to discuss what had happened to her, what Eli had done to her and then how Miguel had offered to sit beside her and how for the first time she felt safe in a class with the Mohawk.
Instead of any of that, Jesse vowed silently to herself an amendment to her previous vow to avoid violence. She took a deep breath as they entered the Greek household and announced their entrance, immediately heading up to Demetri's room to work on homework while Demetri continued his passionate speech about his crush on Yasmine.
Jesse vowed that she'd be supportive of her friend, no matter the cost.
After all, it was just another penance for her crimes.
By the end of the night she had finished her homework with an almost alarming lack of Demetri beside her and she had almost raced home to free herself from the misery she felt. It wasn't until she was at home quietly preparing her lunch that she felt a realization that warmed her but quickly turned into an almost sobering chill.
"Makin' dinner?"
There had been a declaration of peace inside the household that Jesse both appreciated and hated. Her brother sauntering in as if they were normal siblings, plopping down on a stool at the breakfast counter wearing a Cobra Kai t-shirt and sweats.
Wait.
"Since when we're you taking karate?" Jesse frowned as she stuffed rice from the rice cooker into a plastic container. "And Cobra Kai at that?"
"Well, if you weren't so caught up in cosplaying as a dork—" Kyler ignored the scoff and eye roll, continuing his accusation. "—you would have noticed this weekend."
"Why doesn't it surprise me?" Jesse rolled her eyes and gestured over to bowls, silently requesting the dishes and Kyler grabbed them for her without question, automatically hip-bumping her and dishing out a scoop of rice into each. "You having fun?" It was sarcastic, but Kyler ignore the tone and smirked down at his sister.
"Absolutely." Jesse shook her head in disapproval, throwing a few spoonfuls of veggies and chicken onto each bowl of rice. Kyler set the bowls on the counter, heading over to grab forks while Jesse got the drinks. "You remember Lip, yeah?"
Jesse tried not to falter and was thankful Kyler wasn't looking at her during the stumble. "...How could I forget?" She was thankful she didn't stutter.
"Well, dudes fuckin' brutal." Jesse winced at the almost awe in her brother's voice, grabbing her arm unconsciously and rubbing it in comfort while Kyler continued to talk about what had happened over the weekend. "Beat the shit out of Bruxks - dude's no longer strong enough to be friends with me - until blood was coming out from his nose and mouth. Absolutely ruthless."
"O-oh." Jesse swallowed dryly, trying to hide the shaking in her hands as she remembered the ruthlessness on Hawk's face when he looked at her between the crack in the doors, or the way the doors tried to slam open to grab her, and the absolute rage when he was on top of Demetri. She set down the drinks carefully, quietly, before sitting down in front of the meal beside her twin. With her finger, she scratched at her bandages with a deepening frown, trying not to think about what could have happened if she hadn't had the bar in place.
"Anyways, thanks for dinner." Kyler thanked honestly, smacking his shoulder against hers just enough to make her glare over at him but not enough to hurt. "It tastes really good."
"There's extra if you wanna bring some to school..." Jesse mumbled out, glancing over at the two packaged boxes next to the fridge for tomorrow.
"Thanks, bug."
They ignored what happened in the cafeteria, pretended that she hadn't defied him in front of their classmates, and denied themselves the memory that she had attempted to hurt him. Instead the grasped almost desperately to topics based around school and their family, stupid gossip from their friends and family in Korea, and the phone calls they had with their parents.
The twins were nothing short of silently eristic about the existence of their disputes outside of the home.
He kept his escapades to hisself and she kept her drama inside.
It was the only way that they were able to fulfil the nature desire to cling to each other since birth, a feeling woven inside their DNA to be close to each other, because without the other twin, who were they?
——————
The most frustrating part of her day was not the bandage over her nose or deciding if she wanted to dress up or dress down. No, it had become the moments with Demetri and having to listen to him talk about Yasmine and studying. By the end of the week, having class with the redhead was nearly more enjoyable than the constant feeling of having her heart ripped out with tiny pieces and razors.
At least with Hawk she didn't have to filter her words as much. Each day it felt like the defences that left her lips were becoming harsher, unhinged, as if she were dipping them in poison or sharpening a point into them to make them dig deeper and hurt longer. It wasn't until Friday did she finally notice just how weaponized she was becoming.
Hawk had sent a spitball over to her, landing on her notes and creating a disgusting splat that made the ink around it bleed into a warbled mess. She assumed he was proud of himself, snickering and maybe even a fist bump under the table to the cobra Kai student next to him. With the tip of her pencil, she had patiently flipped it off along with the second and third one.
Until the end of class, after the bell, when one landed on the back of her neck with a sickening wet feeling.
"This is why nobody likes you!" Jesse hissed harshly after whipping around towards the bully, practically trembling from forcing the rage to stay inside. She watched in sick satisfaction at the recognition in his eyes at the words, painful and filled with past trauma at her hands. "Besides your face looking like something I'd draw with my left hand, you act like a first grader whose taller than the rest of the class because he was held back a year. Your hair is turning into an opposite Repunzel, but instead of your hair, you're letting everyone around you down."
She took in a deep breath, closing her eyes and centring herself. Did she really want to do this, go down this route? Did she really enjoy the hurt that Hawk so desperately tried to hide? What if she told Kyler—?
Kyler wasn't stronger anymore.
Her eyes opened back to see the stunned Hawk in front of her, her lips curling and eyes dull as she considered the boy. "You're nothing but trash." With a careful hand she picked off the spitball and threw it back onto his desk, fighting the urge to freak out from the moist feeling left behind while standing up and grabbing her stuff. She paused. "Actually, I take that back." Jesse swung the backpack over her shoulder and stared down her nose with a sneer. "At least trash is useful."
"You're a bitch-!"
"At least I'm creative about it." Jesse interrupted harshly, taking a step forward and another at Hawk's flinch. "My words are more than just calling you a derogatory name then beating you up. They're crafted with the truth and they hurt worse, don't they? You should know, huh?"
Jesse didn't even flinch when his hand came up in a threat, eyes still dull as she flickered over to the hand back to his face. "Resorting to violence just means you feel like you're losing control. Which you are, don't get me wrong." A lazy smirk appeared on her face as she took one last step towards the spiralling boy, whispering out a final question. "How does it feel having Kyler beside you?"
It was like a balloon deflating, she mused as she turned around and left for her next block. She had made her point about working with his bully, showed him he was no longer any different than she had been. It was intoxicating and addictive, making her want more...
But the interesting part of it all?
The origin of her harsh words were no longer fuelled by her brother, but instead the image of her best friend crying and the sound of a disgusting crack in front of her.
But the worst part of the day wasn't her ruined notes or her past-victim-now-bully's presence. It wasn't the marbles that fell from her locker like a trap and nearly sent her tumbling to the ground, or the way Hawk tripped her in their last block and Miguel helping her up with a glare towards his way.
It was while she was innocently walking to lunch, her lunchbox in hand filled with a meal for two once again, that she watched Demetri her pulled around the corner and her heart raced. Thinking he was in trouble, she had made every effort to push herself to her friend and do whatever was necessary to fight against the retaliation—!
But the truth was even worse.
Yasmine and Demetri kissing against the wall, unperturbed and unaware of her presence. Jesse had swallowed the gasp and her heart, taking soft steps away from the opening and all but ran to the lunch room. She had sat down quietly next to Sam and the other Miyagi-Do students, the couple returning in asynchronous times with Demetri landing next to her with a dopey grin as she passed over his food with an attempted smile.
And the absolute maddening part?
When he didn't share with her a single word about him and Yasmine, as if it never happened. Not in the car from school, not on the weekend, nor on Discord when they played their games.
It was spiralling.