May -
- Louis's POV -
The way he looks at her
The way he talks to her
The way he talks about her
He's in love with her
I've noticed it since the beginning of fucking time
Theo Martin is in love with Alyce
I can't do anything about it, and that's fine, for now, because he isn't flirting with her or anything, and I respect that.
Why the fuck am I jealous?
I kinda feel bad for the bloke.
I'm not going to tell Alyce because I'm not completely sure if I'm correct, and quite frankly, it's not my business to tell.
I'm just going to drop it and leave this alone because I could still be wrong.
I really hope I am.
Anyways.
Sex Pistols will be launching on TV this month, so I'm done filming. This also means I can fly back to New York and see my Alyce once again because it's been too long.
But I'm also still in the process of filming Enola Holmes two, which doesn't give me a large window to visit Alyce back and forth to be able to see her as much as I would like to.
I wonder if she would be okay with coming to Yorkshire, where we're filming. Maybe she can stay for a couple of weeks.
I think it would be a wonderful idea.
When I visited her a couple of months ago, I noticed a difference in her mood. She seemed mentally exhausted—drained, so maybe this would help.
But I don't know. I'm not the best at helping Alyce with this sort of stuff, mainly because she is so closed off, and honestly, I don't feel like we have deep conversations; I mean, we do, but I'm basically the only one who shares.
I've never been good at reading people. Alyce, on the other hand, can read people like a fucking book.
I want to help Alyce, and I do, in any way possible. But I really can't do anything unless she opens up.
But as I've always said, I'll wait for her.
It's been about two months since we last saw each other in person, so maybe all is well now.
You would think since I'm her boyfriend I can tell when she's not doing good just by looking at her, but I can only receive so much over FaceTime or interviews that I see on TV.
She hides it so well.
She and the band have been attending parties, talk shows, and interviews since the album release, and she looks, well...happy.
I decided to call James. He's helped me with this situation before, and his best advice was to give Alyce time. But I also wanna see how she is doing from another person's perspective.
"Louis! My man, how's it goin'?" James answers the call within two rings.
"Hey, James, everything's good. How are you?"
"Good, good, what's up?"
"So...Alyce is still pretty closed off with me, and I don't know what else to do, but last time I was in New York, I noticed she wasn't herself, and I wanted to know if you or anyone else in the band has noticed too"
"Oh... come to think about it.. yeah, she's been a little off. The couple of days you visited, though, she was fine."
"Damn, okay, thanks, James"
"Hey, wait. As I said before, she doesn't open up to people... sometimes she opens up to lily, I can give you her phone number, and maybe she'll know more, does that work?"
I think about it for a second. "Yeah, man, that's great, thank you, see you soon, bye"
"Bye," he says In a singsong tone.
Only a couple of seconds later, James texts me Lily's phone number.
I quickly tap the contact and call her
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's Louis"
"Oh, hi! How'd you get my number?"
"James..."
"That fucker" she mutters with a laugh. "Anyways, what's up, Louis? You and Alyce okay?"
"Uh, yeah, no, we're great! Um... I don't want to sound like that person or anything..."
"Uh huh... go on"
"As you may know, Alyce is very closed off... and I've noticed something is off, but I don't know what it is, and I don't know how to help her, and I was wondering if you knew anything that can help me."
She was silent for a moment. "Louis, Im honestly surprised she hasn't opened up to you yet. I feel like she would've told me if she hadn't, but yet here we are."
"Yeah..."
Lily was silent for a moment.
"I don't want to say a lot 'cause it's not all my business to tell. But I feel like she needs the help, and I can feel that you can help her.
"Yes, please, whatever you want to tell me"
She sighs. "Alyce suffers from depressive episodes. They don't happen very often. They go off every couple of years, and I'm assuming the band doesn't even know about them... well, maybe Theo..."
Theo
I breathed, "Wow, okay... um—do you know how I can help her?"
"It honestly depends on how she's feeling. Most of the time, she needs somebody to be there, no talking, just listening, and your presence is enough"
"Okay. Thank you so much for this, Lily."
"You're welcome, Louis. Also, please don't tell her I told you any of this, she might kill me. bye bye"
"Alright, bye"
I end the call and texted Millie telling her that I would not be on set for at least a week for reasons.
I then book the earliest flight to New York for tomorrow morning.
- - -
- Alyce's POV -
I lay in bed, waiting for sleep to come over me.
I don't know what's wrong with me
I don't want to do anything
Sometimes I don't even want to get out of bed, but I know I have to.
The world isn't going to stop just because I'm not up for anything.
I'm exhausted 24/7, and I have no motivation to do anything. I've felt this way before, it happened a lot when Jack and I were together. At least then, I knew why I felt this way, but now, I don't know.
It can't be because of Louis, definitely not. He makes me feel the very opposite of how I'm feeling now.
When this happened with Jack, I lost weight, and Now I'm gaining weight. I get out of bed and eat and eat. It's like I'm getting myself ready for hibernation, not knowing when the next time I'll get out of bed will be.
My eyes begin to close but snap open once my phone vibrates.
I groan and slip the phone off my nightstand, looking to see that it's Louis.
It's not too late here, so he must think I'm not trying to fall asleep right now.
"Hi," I say with a sleepy voice.
"Were you sleeping? I can call you tomorrow."
"No, no, you're okay. I'm just tired, that's all. I'm not ready for bed yet." I lie.
"Okay.." he sounds unconvinced but continues the conversation anyways. "How was your day?"
I smile, "It was good. I didn't do much, though."
"That's okay. You've been working so hard, and you deserve to rest."
"Yeah, I know... Sometimes I feel as if I'm not doing enough and being too lazy too often." I finally admit.
"Trust me, Alyce, your existence is enough for everyone, okay? I know you're exhausted, and that's okay. There's no time limit on how many hours you need to be in bed. As long as you're okay."
It sounds like more of a question than a fact.
Am I okay?
"I don't think it's healthy for me to stay in bed all day, Louis," I want to laugh.
I hear him take a deep breath before speaking, "I'm sorry, I'm not good at this.
"Good at what exactly?"
"I—" He pauses, as of he's thinking of the right thing to say, "I can tell that you're in pain—mentally, and I don't know how to help you, but I want to."
I want to cry now.
Louis continues, "Just tell me or show me how I can help you."
He's acting strange, and I soon put two and two together
"Did Lily talk to you?"
"Lily? Uh—no...?"
"Uh huh, sure"
After a few seconds of complete silence, He finally breaks.
He told me he worried about me and asked if Lily knew anything to help.
I'm not mad.
I'm glad they talked because I don't know how I could've told Louis myself or even how I would bring it up. And I tell him this, along with my next sentence:
"I want to get away"
"Where do you want to go?"
"Anywhere. Anywhere but here, Louis"
"Okay, I can make that happen, love...I don't know why I am mentioning this now, but I am outside your door and have been since we began the call; I got lost in this conversation."
I am now wide awake
"You're what?!"
"Right outside your door, yes"
I end the call and run to unlock the door.
As soon as the door is the slightest bit ajar, Louis barges in and lifts me up in his arms.
And now it's my turn to break.
I fall apart in his arms while he walks towards the couch, me still in his arms as he sits down, allowing me to straddle him as I cry into his neck.
Louis rubs my back with one hand and caresses my hair with the other. He doesn't ask questions or say anything at all, and it's exactly what I need.
My tense muscles relax just by the feeling of him being here.
A couple of minutes pass by, and I finally stop crying.
I pull away from his neck so I can see his face. One of his arms is wrapped around my lower back, holding me in place, while the other lifts up to wipe away all the tears on my face.
I look into his eyes and smile, it's such a small smile that makes it onto my lips, but I know it's the slightest bit visible because he smiles too, looking at my face so intensely as if he's trying to remember every single detail.
I lean into his touch as I say, "I love you"
His thumb rubs my cheek, "I love you more"
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A/N -
Idk how I feel about this chapter...I'm kind of scared about yall's reactions...
Thoughts... >>>
Also, tysm for 50k reads... I was like, "wtf, how?"
Anyways
I'm also so excited but scared to finish this
story oml
Also, GUYS, I won formal queen at my school LMFAO
Cadie <3
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