Drop Dead | Sam Fender

By 17goingunder

106K 2.1K 2.7K

'Did you come around here just to start a fight? Drop dead.' Sam's difficulty with relationships stems all th... More

Characters
Rory's Playlist
Sam's Playlist
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty One
Chapter Twenty Two
Chapter Twenty Three
Chapter Twenty Four
Chapter Twenty Five
Chapter Twenty Six
Chapter Twenty Seven
Chapter Twenty Eight
Chapter Twenty Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty One
Chapter Thirty Two
Chapter Thirty Three
Chapter Thirty Four
Chapter Thirty Five
Chapter Thirty Six
Chapter Thirty Seven
Chapter Thirty Eight
Chapter Thirty Nine
Chapter Forty
Chapter Forty One
Chapter Forty Two
Chapter Forty Three
Chapter Forty Four
Chapter Forty Five
Chapter Forty Six
Chapter Forty Seven
Chapter Forty Eight
Chapter Forty Nine
Chapter Fifty
Chapter Fifty One
Chapter Fifty Two
Chapter Fifty Three
Chapter Fifty Four
Chapter Fifty Five
Chapter Fifty Six
Chapter Fifty Seven
Chapter Fifty Eight
Chapter Fifty Nine
Chapter Sixty
Chapter Sixty One
Chapter Sixty Two
Chapter Sixty Three
Chapter Sixty Four
Chapter Sixty Five
Chapter Sixty Six
Chapter Sixty Seven
Chapter Sixty Eight
Chapter Sixty Nine
Chapter Seventy
Chapter Seventy One
Chapter Seventy Two
Chapter Seventy Three
Chapter Seventy Four
Chapter Seventy Five
Chapter Seventy Six
Chapter Seventy Seven
Chapter Seventy Eight
Chapter Seventy Nine
Chapter Eighty
Chapter Eighty One
Chapter Eighty Two
Chapter Eighty Three
Chapter Eighty Four
Chapter Eighty Five
Chapter Eighty Six
Chapter Eighty Seven
Chapter Eighty Eight
Chapter Eighty Nine
Chapter Ninety
Chapter Ninety One
Chapter Ninety Two
Chapter Ninety Three
Chapter Ninety Four
Chapter Ninety Five
Chapter Ninety Six
Chapter Ninety Seven
Chapter Ninety Eight
Chapter Ninety Nine
Chapter One Hundred
Chapter One Hundred and One
Chapter One Hundred and Two
Chapter One Hundred and Three
Chapter One Hundred and Four
Chapter One Hundred and Five
Chapter One Hundred and Six
Chapter One Hundred and Seven
Chapter One Hundred and Eight
Chapter One Hundred and Nine
Chapter One Hundred and Ten
Chapter One Hundred and Eleven
Chapter One Hundred and Twelve
Chapter One Hundred and Thirteen
Chapter One Hundred and Fourteen
Chapter One Hundred and Fifteen
Chapter One Hundred and Sixteen
Chapter One Hundred and Seventeen
Chapter One Hundred and Eighteen
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty One
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Two
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Three
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Four
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Five
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Six
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Seven
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Eight
Chapter One Hundred and Twenty Nine
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty One
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Two
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Two
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Four
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Five
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Six
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Seven
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Eight
Chapter One Hundred and Thirty Nine
Chapter One Hundred and Forty
Chapter One Hundred and Forty One
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Two
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Three
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Four
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Five
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Six
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Seven
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Eight
Chapter One Hundred and Forty Nine
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty One
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Two
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Three
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Four
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Five
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Six
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Seven
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Eight
Chapter One Hundred and Fifty Nine
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty One
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Two
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Three
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Four
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Five
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Six
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Seven
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Eight
Chapter One Hundred and Sixty Nine
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy One
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Two
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Three
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Four
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Five
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Six
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Seven
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Eight
Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Nine
Chapter One Hundred and Eighty
Sequel

Chapter One Hundred and Nineteen

391 8 17
By 17goingunder

Sam

My ears were ringing, even as Harlow departed, leaving me all alone standing in my living room.

"Sam?" Sophie called out cautiously as crept up behind me. I jumped in fright, having forgotten about her presence entirely in my sense of doom. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"It's alreet," I muttered. I didn't stop her as her arms wrapped around my waist, her lips pressing a comforting kiss against my bare shoulder blade. "I'm sorry for snapping."

"It's okay," she assured me as she rested her cheek against my back, though it did nothing to calm my whirring thoughts. "Sam, is everything alright? You're not with it."

"Hmm? Oh, I'm fine, everything's fine," I blurted.

"Has it got anything to do with that bitch?" she scoffed lightly, pulling away to spin me to face her.

"Harlow's not..." I trailed.

"You're not seriously going to stick up for her after the way she spoke to me?" she gaped.

My heart began racing as I desperately tried to diffuse the situation without revealing that my ex-girlfriend was back in Shields. "She's just-"

"Just what?" she frowned.

"Er, she thought we were just sleeping around," I shrugged, internally face-palming myself at the excuse that didn't even make sense.

"But we are," she laughed before her face contorted into shock. "Unless... Sam is this your shit way of asking me to be your girlfriend? 'Cause it sucks."

"Yes," I blurted, my thoughts too clouded to process what she was actually saying.

"Well," she grinned, her hands wandering up my chest to entwine themselves behind my neck. "It's a two out of ten for effort, Fender, but it's a yes from me." Her smile was wide as she rose on her tiptoes to meet my lips with hers. If she noticed that I wasn't responding, she didn't say. "Of course, I'll be your girlfriend."

Shit.

Aurora

It felt odd being back in Shields again but after near enough three years of avoiding the small town, I finally bucked up the courage to come back. My fears of seeing Sam had been quelled by the fact things wouldn't be entirely hostile, even if they wouldn't exactly be amicable and with my dad's birthday coming up, I thought what better time to get it over and done with?

My dad was still sleeping when I woke that morning, having worked the night previous and so I decided to take a walk down to Tynemouth. I hadn't been able to enjoy the pretty coastal views in too long and so what better way to spend your morning?

"Rory? Is that you?" a deep voice asked, pulling me from my reverie. My eyes fell on the source of the voice, a soft smile tugging at my lips as I recognised the tuft of brown hair and all-too-familiar blue eyes.

"Liam," I mumbled, allowing the older man to pull me into a tight hug.

"It's been too long," he commented with a grin, studying me intently as we pulled away. "Christ, ya've grown loads since I last saw you."

"I'm not a 'lil kid anymore," I laughed as we began walking together.

"You're always gan be a 'lil kid to us," he teased, ruffling my hair playfully.

"Piss off, would yer?" I growled jokingly as I batted his hand away from me. "How's your mam?"

"She's canny," he told me, stealing a quick glance over at me. "She misses yer."

"I miss her too," I admitted sadly. Although we had kept in contact, Shirley often sending me the occasional Facebook message asking how I was doing or congratulating me on some career milestone, it wasn't the same as it used to be and years had passed since I had last seen her. "You'll have to tell her to pop 'round one day."

"Tell her yourself," he teased.

"How's Freya?" I asked.

"Good," he beamed. "We're engaged."

"Nee way!" I gasped, pausing in my tracks to tackle him in a hug and congratulate him. "When?"

"Yesterday," he informed me with a fond smile. "God, I haven't even told my mam yet."

"Liam!" I scolded. "She's gan kill yer."

"She won't care," he chuckled. "It's you."

I frowned as we passed a particularly loud bunch of kids. "What's that s'pposed to mean?" I asked.

He rolled his eyes. "If it was anyone else, my head would already be on a spike but ya've always been like a surrogate daughter to mam," he explained. "Just better hope I don't slip up to anyone else before we tell her this afternoon."

"Slip-up?" I scoffed. "That was no slip-up!"

"Maybe I just really wanted to tell yer," he smirked. I shook my head at his antics. He hadn't changed, not one bit. "How long yer gan be in Shields for? We were thinking about having an engagement party, would be lush if yer came."

"Give me a date and time and I'll be there," I smiled.

"Knew there was a reason I liked yer, kidda," he grinned, slinging his arm around my shoulder and tugging me into his side.

"I suppose I owe yer after you rescued me when I was stranded in Newcastle," I snorted, referring to the time I had gone on a night out with some of the girls in my biology class just after our exams, who all ended up abandoning me.

"Yer don't owe us fuck all," he muttered seriously. "You're my little sister, I'll be there to rescue yer always."

"Cheers, Li," I thanked him, letting my head loll against his shoulder.

We carried on chatting for a bit before we parted ways with Liam due around his mam's to share the news with her. We said our goodbyes, mine with the promise I would be at the celebration whenever it happened.

Lost in my head, I let my feet carry me towards King Edward's Bay without a second thought. I was expecting it to be busy, it was a given. What I wasn't expecting was to see my ex-boyfriend sitting whilst staring out at the wild, grey ocean with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms encircling his legs.

"Sam," I faltered, unable to stop his name from falling from my lips.

His head whirled around as his eyes landed on me, full of conflict. "Rory," he breathed out.

"Sorry, I..." I mumbled as I quickly began backtracking my steps.

"No, wait!" he blurted as he scrambled to stand up and reached towards me, not daring to touch me for the fear I would recoil as I did the last time. "C-can we talk?"

I paused as I considered his words. "Sure," I agreed reluctantly, encouraged by the desperation that glinted in his eyes. The two of us awkwardly took a seat on the soft sand, jolting as our hands brushed accidentally but neither of us commented on it. "Er, is everything alreet? Yer don't seem with it."

A quiet laugh escaped his mouth as he let his head fall forwards. "Three years and yer can still read me like a fuckin' book," he pointed out.

"It's not exactly hard," I joked quietly. "What's gan on in that head of yours?"

"I'm just struggling a bit, that's all," he admitted. His words shocked me, having been fully prepared for him to shrug my concerns off as he always did. Perhaps he had matured since I last saw him.

"I-is it because of me?" I asked meekly.

"Please don't do that," he pleaded softly. "Don't blame yourself for my problems."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I watched as his eyes averted to his lap and a fond smile tugged at his lips, only serving to remind me of how much I missed seeing it.

"It's my own fault," he shrugged.

I shook my head. "Still as self-depreciative as ever," I sighed. "Have you thought about going to see someone? I can't imagine it's been easy."

"I have been actually," he smiled. "These past three years have been tough but seeing you at the BRITs a couple months ago sparked sommat in me... Everyone's been telling me for years to gan see a therapist and seeing you for all of five minutes pushed me into doing it like, but then again, yer always have been sommat else, haven't yer?"

"I'm proud of yer," I told him gently.

He scoffed in bitter amusement, "God, do y'kna how long I've wanted you to say that to me?"

"I've always been proud of you," I mumbled softly. "You've come so far since I saw you last. Career and everything."

"Y-you've been following it?" he asked hopefully.

"Course, I have," I laughed, bumping my shoulder against his. "Yer forget your band is made up of some of my best friends."

"Reet," he muttered in deflation as he took my joke quite literally.

"I'm joking, Sam," I huffed. "I've always kept tabs on you like."

"Stalker," he teased lightly as a comfortable silence engulfed us, the two of us trying to figure out what to say next to prevent the lull in the conversation.

"Cheers for the flowers by the way," I smiled. "They were lush."

"It's alreet," he replied, his lips pulling into a tight line as he mentally debated his next words. "Rory, there's sommat I need to tell you."

A sense of dread washed over me at his announcement, the seriousness of his words sending my brain into overdrive. "What is it?" I questioned with a forced smile.

"Er, I've been seeing someone," he admitted.

"Oh," I swallowed thickly. "Is she nice?"

"Yeah," he shrugged nonchalantly as he struggled to find his words. "It's nowt serious. Well, it wasn't..."

"Sam, you're rambling," I pointed out.

"Reet," he murmured.

"How long have yous been...?" I trailed.

"Er, since January." My heart dropped at his words in a way I knew it shouldn't have but the thought of him begging me to forgive him just a month later, then sending me flowers for my birthday the month after that made me feel sick. "It wasn't anything serious at the time, we were just sleeping together at that point- God, I sound like a dick."

"It's alreet, Sam," I assured him, trying to mask my hurt. "Yer don't have to explain yourself, it's not like we were seeing or anything."

"I feel awful," he muttered, wincing at the harshness of my words.

"You were single," I shrugged. "Er, how long has it been... serious?"

"I asked her to be my girlfriend this morning," he told me honestly

"And do the others know?" I asked. Deep down, I was hoping the answer would be no because I didn't know how I would cope with the fact that my friends knew but hadn't told me. Even if it wasn't my business anymore.

"No," he admitted.

"Reet," I breathed in relief. "Er... I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," he smiled forcefully. "Anyone special in your life?"

My lips drew in a tight line as I considered his wording, which inferred that whoever this girl was, she was special. "Nah," I shrugged, watching as something I could have sworn was relief flash in his eyes.

"You and Niall Horan seem pretty close," he commented with a hint of something akin to bitterness but he covered it up with a smile.

"He's just a mate," I muttered.

"Oh."

"I just saw Liam," I blurted, desperate to change the topic of the conversation after a minute or two of awkward silence.

"Yeah?" he smiled.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "He's not changed."

"Nah, same old Liam," he chuckled as his phone began buzzing. "Sorry."

"It's fine," I assured him as he answered the phone.

"Alreet?" he mumbled. "Sorry, I didn't realise the time... I'll be back in about twenty minutes... alreet, see yer in a bit."

"Missus?" I asked with a forced smile.

He nodded. "Left her back at the flat," he explained. "Er, I'd better get back... I'll see yer around?"

"Aye," I replied before bidding him goodbye.

And as I watched him walking away, home to his new girlfriend, I realised that maybe I wasn't as over him as I thought I was.

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