As I try to pay attention to what Hunter is explaining about some exercises we should do my mind keeps thinking about what Carlos said. Ken doll wannabe, I won't be able to see him any other way anymore. Because he is kind of right.
Hunter is a really good-looking guy, you would have to be blind not to see it. Hazel eyes, strong jaw, dark blonde hair, tall -not taller than Carlos but he is a giant so that's hard to accomplish- and that good boy kind of smile. He is, as Carlos said a spiced-up version of a ken doll. That or he isn't remotely similar and Carlos none sense got to my head.
"Mia?" Hunter's voice snaps me away from my thoughts. "You okay? If there's something you don't understand I can start again."
"You better not make him start again I'm the one suffering here." Carlos looks at me with a mixture of fear and amusement. Because he might be joking but I'm sure he dreads having to start again.
"I understand don't worry, just got distracted for a second. Continue." I try to focus back on and ignore all the ken doll thoughts.
"So I was saying that he must start with the arms and torso, it's necessary to gain the top part strength back before moving down to his legs. One way he can do this is by doing weights or with these elastic bands, you tie them to the bed or something heavy and then he pulls." Hunter does as instructed and hands Carlos one of the bands so he can try.
He does it pretty easily, but this is more of a repetition kind of exercise.
"How do you feel?" Hunter asks him.
"Just fine, it's simple." Carlos keeps going without any issue for a good few repetitions.
"I put the medium one so you can go to a more rigid one if you think it's too easy but don't overdo it." He explains.
"Okay, and are those for us then or where could we buy them?" I point at the bands.
"You can have these, just give them back when you two are done using them," Hunter says. "Once his legs are better he can also use the elastic bands for some exercises with them."
"Okay, I will look up some exercises online and in the books you sent me." I believe I saw a few when I was studying for the first session and marked them thinking they would probably be useful later.
"Perfect, let's try some weights." Hunter hands him some and explains different kinds of movements. For a while, it's just them talking and doing stuff and I just take notes of everything so we can repeat them in the next sessions by ourselves.
"Amazing, your arms will be back in shape in no time. You are doing good. I would like to check your legs now, is that okay?" Hunter turns to Carlos who seems to stop breathing for a second.
I had known that something is wrong with his legs for a while. He hadn't asked me to take the bandages off so he could get used to seeing them. And from time to time I notice how tight he closes his fists when I'm moving him to the chair or small winces of pain when he lays down in bed. But he has been hiding it because he knows that the only answer to that pain is drugs (and not ibuprofen, that won't work anymore). So I'm hoping he will understand and ask me for some because if I mention it I will just make everything worse.
"I don't know. I'm not comfortable with people touching my legs." He replies slowly and Hunter just looks at me.
"Are you comfortable with Mia doing it? I can guide her." He turns back to him and Carlos looks at me in a way I hadn't really seen until now, he looks vulnerable. The pain must be worst than I initially thought. He should have told me.
"Why don't we continue with his back? I'm sure we can go back to his legs when he is ready." I swear I can see his whole body relaxing at my words.
"It's kind of important, I understand it isn't easy but I need to make sure his legs are responding and how is the strength going," Hunter says carefully.
Carlos keeps looking at me, practically begging.
"I will do it tonight when he is more comfortable and relaxed, just tell me how and I will inform you later." I smile trying to move on.
Hunter stops for a second and I hope he understands.
"Fine, I will send you a link to an instructions video of how to do it later." He finally gives up. "Let's check your back then, we have to move you to the bed so I can see probably is that okay?"
"Sure." Carlos nods and Hunter helps him up to the bed where he sits down straight looking at the wall so his back is facing us.
"Could you take off your shirt? If you are comfortable with that."
Carlos doesn't reply he just takes his shirt off and leaves it next to him.
"Perfect thank you." Hunter smiles getting in front of him. "The first thing is-" He stops mid-sentence and looks back at me, his whole expression different. "Sorry, I was saying that the first thing is to check your spine." He tries to act as naturally as possible.
"Don't worry, everyone reacts that way," Carlos replies simply, his voice cold.
"What's wrong?" I ask stupidly as I move closer to see his back. "Oh." Running my eyes through his back I notice, for the first time, the big long scars across it.
How hadn't I noticed? Even if back at the clinic it was a male nurse who helped him shower and change how is it possible that I hadn't seen them until now?
"Can we ignore my back and continue please?" Carlos asks a little irritated this time.
"I'm sorry," I whisper giving one small step back so Hunter can start with his check-up.
As Hunter checks different points of his spine I can't stop thinking. He doesn't hide the scars as he was okay with taking his shirt off but he doesn't seem comfortable with them either. And what caused them? There is nothing on his record about back surgery or an accident. They look almost as if someone had hit him with a rope or... a belt.
Oh my god. His father.
"Your response is really good, feel any pain?" Hunter asks, back into professionalism as I keep standing there in shock.
I suspected his father was abusive but I didn't know it had gotten to this extent. I thought it was mostly psychological.
"All good." Carlos sounds unfazed by the situation and I thank he isn't looking in my direction right now.
"I will check your neck then. You will feel some pressure but that's all." Hunter keeps guiding him through everything he is doing and I try to get ahold of myself.
It's not the first time I see the outcome of abuse, as a nurse it happens pretty often but it hits differently when you know the person and who did it to them. He was just a kid, a kid whose father was supposed to protect him from pain not cause it. Did this happen to Matteo too?
"And we are done, you can put your shirt back on." Hunter turns to me. "His spine and neck are perfect, make sure you check his legs later today and hopefully we can do some leg exercises in the next session."
"Okay yeah, I will update you about his legs." I give him my best smile.
"We also should start with the massages soon so tell me when you all want the next session so I can teach you how to do them." Hunter takes his bag. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Carlos, looking forward to our next meeting." He goes for a handshake and Carlos reciprocates politely.
"I will help you to the door." I walk out of the room and wait for Hunter to follow. "I will be right back." I look at Carlos and he nods.
We walk in silence until we are far enough and it's safe to talk.
"I'm guessing you didn't know about those scars either." He says quietly. "Did he have an accident that's not on record or did someone do that to him?"
"I don't know." I lie, it's his life not mine and he doesn't need to know.
"I understand." He sees right through my lie. "But are you okay? I know it isn't for you to see that." His hand moves to my upper arm in an attempt to comfort me.
"I'm okay don't worry, thank you for caring." I smile softly. "I will call you tonight about his legs."
"Sure." He opens the door and gets outside. "Have a nice day Mia."
"You too, bye." I give him a little goodbye and close the door.
Closing my eyes for a second I breathe in a few times and go back to Carlos' room where he is still waiting over the bed.
"Were you going to tell me about your legs hurting more than usual?" I ask carefully.
"I'm okay." He brushes it off as expected.
Looking at him still over the bed I try to make up my mind about if I should let it slide and wait for him to approach me or just say it.
And I decide to say it. "Listen, I know you hate analgesics but the pain will eventually become unbearable and ibuprofen won't work anymore, Carlos." I try knowing I'm really risking it. "A small dose of morphine could help you feel a lot better."
"I can take the pain as it is, I'm used to it as you saw today." He doesn't snap but he doesn't sound happy either, his tone is cold and all that easiness from before gone. "Not going to ask about my back huh?"
"It's your story to tell, I've got no right to ask." I simply say trying to stay calm.
"Well you seem to love sharing so I thought maybe you would expect the same from me." Now he is hurting which means he is trying to hurt me too.
"I'm going to leave, I think it's better for the both of us." I retreat slowly getting to the door. "Rest and I will check your legs later tonight." I should have kept quiet.
Author's note
As always if you are here ty for reading and don't forget to vote and comment your thoughts!
The trauma these two went through you all better be ready.
Mean Carlos back into action but he is hurting and you all know how much he hates drugs. So hopefully you all understand why he is behaving the way he is.
Opinions about Hunter?
Ly all,
Maria