In the lab, Chase was helping Bree with some last-minute homework before we left for school. As they were working, a fly buzzed around Bree, and she swatted at it. "What is that?" She asks.
"Bree, relax. It's just a fly." Chase says.
"Well, why is it bothering me when the foul, ripe stench of Adam is right there?" Bree asks, pointing to Adam, who is sitting in a chair next to them and eating a bowl of cereal. I was sitting next to Adam and eating a bagel.
"Lucky undies. Nine days in a row and no lightning strikes...that's science." Adam says.
"Gross." I cringed. As the fly continues to fly around Bree, Leo walks in laughing.
"You look ridiculous," Leo says.
"Well, yeah, so would you if you had some flying thing attacking you," Bree says. Leo presses a button from a watch he was wearing, and the buzzing stops.
"Would I?" Leo says, holding out the fly in his hand.
"How'd you do that?" Bree asks.
"I talk to insects. They call me the fly whisperer." Leo says.
"No, they don't," I say, giving Leo a weird look.
"You can talk to flies? Ask him why bees are such jerks." Adam says, getting up from his chair.
"Guys, Leo's messing with you. That's Mr. Davenport's spy fly." Chase says, grabbing a metal container from Leo's bag. "He designed it for recon missions. You see, the fly's head is a tiny camera. Leo's controlling the entire thing with a trackball on this watch."
"Is there anything you don't ruin?" Leo asks, rolling his eyes at Chase.
"Nope. Leo, I don't think Mr. Davenport would approve of you using his expensive gadgets as toys." Chase says.
"Well, then, he shouldn't have gone to rock n' roll fantasy camp. Hello! You're almost forty! You can't rock. And you're no one's fantasy." Leo says.
"Can I see it?" Bree asks. She tried to grab the canister from Leo, but Leo backs away.
"Back off, handsy," Leo says. "It needs to charge in its fly hive. I used it all night."
"Wait. You spent all night playing with that stupid thing?" Bree asks.
"Well, half the night. I spent the other half editing the footage." Leo says.
"What footage?" Bree asks.
"Well, now that you've asked..." We all follow Leo over to the monitors. "I give you the best...of Bree." Leo plays a video of Bree sleeping in her capsule on the screen. There are various shots of her snoring, drooling, and kissing the wall of her capsule. Adam, Chase, Leo, and I start laughing.
"I can't believe you, Leo!" Bree says, embarrassed.
"Hey, it's not my fault you sleep ugly," Leo says.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At school, Leo, Bree, and I walk down the stairs as Leo continues to bother Bree with Mr. Davenport's spy fly. "Would you cut it out?! I cannot believe you brought Davenport's fly to school." Bree says. "Now I have three little pests following me around."
"How could I not? He's my...wingman." Leo says.
"Oh, come on, Bree. Are you really that surprised? It's Leo we're talking about here. He's always messing with Mr. Davenport's stuff." I say.
"Hey, guys," Chase says. Adam and Chase walk up to us, and we see Chase carrying a plastic baby doll on his chest.
"Chase, have you been stealing from five-year-old girls again?" I say with a smirk. Adam nods his head.
"Ha, ha. It's for health class. Each of us has to babysit a robo-baby for a night." Chase says. Chase's doll starts crying. "Are you hungry? Yes, you are, my snoogie-woogie-boogie!" Chase sits down on a bench and holds the baby in his arms.
"Just when we thought he couldn't get any creepier," Bree says, looking at me.
"It cries when it's tired or hungry. I have to take care of him because if I don't, I lose a point." Chase says. "Which, of course, I haven't," Chase lifted the back of the baby's shirt and revealed a scoreboard of 100 points. "And I won't because I have downloaded every childcare book available. I even know how to rescue a baby out of an alligator's mouth. Happens more often than you think."
Chase takes out a milk bottle and starts feeding the baby. Bree turns to Adam. "So, where's your baby? Lost it already?"
"Ha, ha. No. Do you really think I'm that irresponsible? It's in here." Adam says. He holds up his book bag with the baby doll inside. "I named him shut your cry hole. That way, whenever I say his name, he'll know to stop crying."
"You keep your baby in a bag?" Leo asks.
"Yeah! It's super toasty, books to read if he's bored, and it's totally safe." Adam says. He takes the doll out of his bag, and the baby is covered with gum, pencils, and other random junk stuck to it. "Oh! You found my gum!" He takes the gum off the baby and eats it. He takes the gum out and sees a penny. "And a penny!"
"Dude, you are totally gonna fail this assignment," Chase says.
"No, I'm not, because unlike you, I know what a baby likes," Adam says. "I think like a baby."
"Yeah, he's got you there," I say.
"Oh, yeah? Well, if you're such an expert on babies, why don't we just let the scores speak for themselves?" Chase says.
"You're on," Adam says. He looks at the score on the baby's back. "I've got a ninety-eight. I'm only two points behind." Chase grabs the baby and flips the doll right side up.
"That's an eighty-six," Chase says. Adam's doll starts crying.
"Aw, it's okay, shut your cry hole," Adam says as he gives Chase a dirty look and rocks the baby. The baby continues to cry. "Okay, seriously, shut your cry hole, shut your cry hole." Adam and Chase walk away. Kyle walks up to Bree, Leo, and me.
"Hey, guys. We're gonna be late for our Physics test. You ready?" Kyle says.
"No, but let's get this thing over with," I say.
"Physics test? Oh, no, no, no, no. I was so busy with the fly I forgot to study." Leo says.
"Fly? What fly?" Kyle says.
"It's this spy fly camera Mr. Davenport created. Leo's been using the fly to mess with Bree. She hates it, but it's hilarious to us." I explained to Kyle. I look at Bree and Leo. "We'll meet you inside." Kyle and I walk inside the cafeteria and take our seats.
"Bree...sweet, loving, caring Bree...wonderful, wise, beautiful..."
"What do you want, Leo?" Bree says.
"I have an idea. How about you write down the right answers, and I'll copy off your paper? Sound like a plan?" Leo says.
"No way, Leo. I'm not helping you cheat." Bree says. She closes her lockers after grabbing some of her books and walks inside the cafeteria to take her seat.
"Fine, I won't look at your paper. But I can't say the same for Wingston von Dooley III." Leo says, taking out the fly camera.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In the cafeteria, as Leo, Bree, Kyle, and I were taking our Physics test, Leo was using the spy fly to try and copy Bree's paper. "Move your hand," Leo says as he looks at the camera watch so he could look at Bree's answers. Bree sees the fly and tries to swat it away. As the fly continued to buzz around Bree, she started to get annoyed and huffed before working on her test.
I was really struggling with this Physics test. I forgot to study the night before because I was up all night drawing in my journal. It's days like these where I wish I had Chase's super smarts. The fly buzzing around Bree was starting to become really distracting. Kyle and I were sitting at a table next to Leo, and I looked at him. "Leo, knock it off," I whispered to him.
"I will if Bree would just move her hand," Leo whispered back. When the fly lands on Bree's nose, she squeals and gets up from her seat.
"That's it! Give me that thing! Gimme!" Bree storms over to Leo and holds out her hand.
"Hey! Bounce house! Knock it off. There are people in here trying to concentrate on failing." Principal Perry says.
"But he was..."
"No buts. You know the rules. You leave your seat during a test, that's an automatic F." Principal Perry says. "Go! Walk the hallway of shame."
"Principal Perry, wait. Can I get a little extra time? That was really distracting." Leo says. Bree glares at Leo before grabbing her stuff and leaving the cafeteria.
In the hallway, Chase was rocking his baby as he walked down the stairs. "Rock-a-bye, baby, on Chase's shoulder when you fall asleep I'll beat Adam at this assignment just like I beat him at everything else." Chase sang.
"Baby onboard!" Adam shouts as he rides a trash can with his doll on it. He bumps into Chase, making Chase drop his baby, and the buzzer goes off. "Hey!"
"I just lost a point because of your stupidity!" Chase says.
"Relax. It was an accident." Adam says. He uses a plunger to pick up Chase's doll, and the buzzer goes off again. "Here's your baby." Chase snatches the baby away from Adam.
"Now I've lost two points! And so should you. Give me your baby!" Chase says.
"No!" Adam shouts. Chase tries to grab Adam's baby, but he keeps it away from him. "Too slow! Too short! Too Chase." Adam and Chase play tug of war with the baby, and it gets flung into a nearby vending machine. The buzzer goes off, and the baby starts crying.
"Oh, da liddle guy musta been hungry," Chase says in a baby voice.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Leo, Kyle, and I walked out of the cafeteria when we were done taking our Physics test, "Man, that Physics test was insane. I swear I'll never forget to study for a test again." I say.
"You say that every time after a test, and yet you never study," Leo says.
"So, what's your point?" I say, shrugging my shoulders. Leo sees Bree opening her locker, and we walk up to her.
"Bree, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to get in trouble." Leo apologized.
"I failed that test because of you. Happy now?" Bree says.
"No. To be honest, you're kind of sucking the joy out of my A+." Leo says.
"I'm turning you in to Perry," Bree says.
"You can't! If I get in trouble one more time this semester, she'll send me to summer school." Leo says.
"Ohh! Fine!" Bree says, slamming her locker. She storms away. I watch Leo as he takes the spy fly out of his bag.
"All right, Wingston...let's see what really goes on in the teacher's lounge," Leo says. He tosses the fly into the air, and as it flies around in the hallway, it lands in Principal Perry's hair.
"Yechh! Gross!" Principal Perry says.
"Uh-oh," Leo says.
"Twenty years of people asking, gee, Terry, why do you keep a flyswatter in your purse? If they could see me now." Perry says. She takes out a fly swatter, and starts to swat the fly. "Don't make me jump! I've already split six pantsuits this semester! I've got you now!" Leo, Kyle, and I ran up to her before she could squish the fly.
"No! You can't kill it!" Leo says.
"If I can kill the spirit of three hundred high school students, I can certainly kill one little fly," Perry says.
"No! No! Stop it!" Leo says. "It's not a real fly. It's electronic."
"You brought another one of your toys here?" Perry says. "You're just begging to go to summer school."
"No, Principal Perry, it's okay. Look, it's not a toy. It's a surveillance device. Leo can control it with this watch." I explain to Perry, holding up Leo's arm and showing her the watch.
"Gimme," Perry says.
"No," Leo says. Perry takes the watch from Leo.
"You use this thing to spy on people?" Perry asks Leo.
"Well, technically you could, but I would never," Leo says.
"Very noble, Dooley," Perry says.
"Thank you," Leo says.
"Also very dumb," Perry says. "I'm gonna let you off with a warning. But this now belongs to me." She laughs as she takes the metal container that holds the fly away from Leo.
"You can't do that," I say.
"Yeah, that's what they tell me every time I apply for the Miss North America pageant. But my bikini tells a different story." Perry says. Leo, Kyle, and I look at each other in disgust as Perry walks away with the fly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At the house, Adam was in the kitchen sipping on a baby bottle when Chase walked in. "Adam! Where's my baby? I can't find it, and it's time for its 3:15 bath." Chase says.
"Don't worry. He's already squeaky clean." Adam says. He opens the dishwasher and pulls the doll out.
"You put my baby in the dishwasher?!" Chase says.
"Yeah, I had to. The toilet's too shallow." Adam says. He hands Chase the doll, and when Chase squeezes it, water comes out of its ears.
"That's it! You've just declared baby war! The diapers are off." Chase says.
Later, Chase is in the living room holding his baby when Adam walks in. "Hey. Where's my baby?" Adam asks Chase.
"Oh, he wanted a snack," Chase says. Chase walked into the kitchen, opened a lid, and revealed Adam's baby trapped inside a gelatin mold. "Waaaa..."
"You put my baby in a gelatin mold?" Adam asks. "Jokes on you. I'll just eat my way around him." Adam starts aggressively eating the gelatin mold while Chase gives him a weird look. In the lab, Adam attaches Chase's baby to a tether string. Chase walks into the lab.
"Chase. Your lazy baby needed exercise." Adam says. "I call this one tether baby."
"No! No! No! No!" Chase says. He tries to catch the baby as Adam bats Chase's doll around the tether pole, making the buzzer go off repeatedly.
"Aw, look...he's bad at sports...just like his daddy," Adam says. Chase gives him a look. Back in the kitchen, Chase is pressing down a waffle iron when Adam walks in.
"Oh, Adam. Care for some breakfast?" Chase asks. "I'm making waffles." Chase opens the iron, and Adam gasps. The baby's face is flattened like a waffle, and the buzzer goes off. Chase pours syrup on the baby as it lets out a distorted cry. He hands Adam the baby. "That oughta shut his cry hole." Chase leaves the kitchen.
In the living room, Chase is reading a story to his baby when Adam walks in. "Aw, Chase. Your baby looks cold." Adam fires his heat vision at Chase's doll and burns a hole in its head. Chase quickly gets up from the couch and starts putting out the fire by repeatedly stomping on the baby's face. The buzzer goes off multiple times as the baby cries. Chase picks up the baby and sees the burn marks on its face.
"Ooh. Yikes. Talk about a face only a father could love." Adam says. He looks at his baby's flattened face and hides it under his armpit.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Listen up, space wasters!" Perry says to the students in the hallway. "I've installed a new surveillance system. And FYI, this total invasion of your privacy comes courtesy of the one and only Leo Dooley!" Leo's eyes widen as Bree smirks at him. "Perry Airlines cleared for takeoff!" Perry throws the fly in the air and guides it around the room.
"If you're experiencing mild turbulence, it's because we're passing over the Rockies! Whoops, those aren't mountains, those are pimples!" Perry laughs. "To your right, we see Lindsay Hoffman writing in her oh-so-private diary! What? Lindsay has a crush on Timmy Newcastle? I think I'll go tell him. Whoops! I think I just did! Good luck!" Perry cackles and walks away.
"Perry left the charging hive," Leo says. He tries to get the canister from the bench, but Bree grabs it. "Now, Bree...Bree. Think about what you're doing. If you give that to Perry, she can recharge the fly, and my life will be over. Everyone will hate me."
"That's the plan," Bree says. Leo tries to grab the canister, and he and Bree start to fight over the fly hive.
"Guys, knock it off!" I say as I try to stop Bree and Leo from fighting. "Kyle, help me!" Kyle runs over to help me, and as the four of us play tug-of-war with the fly hive, the lid accidentally pops open, and a swarm of flies fly out of the can. All the students started swatting away at the flies as they came toward them, including us.
"See what happens when you don't let me cheat off you?" Leo says. "How am I gonna get all these flies back?"
"I don't know. And also, I don't care." Bree says.
"Dooley! Your stupid toy's messed up!" Perry says as she walks back into the hallway. "Uhh! Where did these come from? I haven't seen this many flies since I thought my car took a five-day nap. I'll open the door."
"No! They're my step-dad's! I can't lose them!" Leo says.
"That door is opening whether you're in the way or not," Perry says. "I just need a running start."
"Can't we just talk this out like civilized..."
"Charge!" Perry shouts as she runs towards the door. Before she can reach the door, she is caught in the swarm and runs in the opposite direction.
"Bree, I can't get all these flies back without you and Cassie's help," Leo says.
"No problem. Just tell Perry you cheated." Bree says.
"Really? You're still on that?" Leo says.
"Yep. Looks like you're stuck, Leo." Bree says.
"Stuck. That's it!" Leo says.
A minute later, Leo was holding a can of glue and was finishing up painting on a poster. "The best way to catch a fly is with flypaper," Leo says to Bree, Kyle, and me.
"Leo, that'll never work. They're not real flies." I say.
"Ahh! Sharp turns! Sharp turns! Ahh!" Perry screams. She crashes into the poster and becomes stuck by the glue. "I'm stuck."
"Got one," Leo says.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Look what you did to my baby!" Adam says as he and Chase walk into the gym. "I had to wrestle his arm from a golden retriever!"
"Well, thanks to you, my baby's face looks like crème brûlée! We're both gonna fail." Chase says. "And the only person you have to blame is yourself for your hideous-looking cry hole!"
Adam gasps. "How dare you?! Lucky for you his ears are full of maple syrup." Adam knocks Chase's baby to the ground, and the buzzer sounds. Chase picks up the doll.
"Thirty-seven points...you monster!" Chase says.
"It's just a number," Adam says. "My little guy may have thirty-six, but I'm still proud of him. Yes, I am, aren't I? Yes, I am, aren't I? ANSWER ME!!!"
"Wait a minute. If I turn my baby in now, I can still beat you." Chase says. Chase runs to the door but is blocked by Adam, and they start fighting.
Back in the hallway, the flies continued to buzz around while the students swatted them away. "Hey, if anybody can hear me, there's a crowbar in my purse!" Perry says, who was still stuck to the poster.
"Guys, we have to do something. This is getting out of control!" Kyle says.
"Kyle is right. Leo, Just confess, and Bree and I can help you fix all this!" I say. "You'll never be able to steer them all."
"Please, have a little faith," Leo says. He taps on the watch, and it starts to beep. "What is that?"
"Attack mode engaged. Stun stingers activated." I say, reading the watch.
"This is getting better by the minute," Bree says.
"Cassie, I feel a little weird," Kyle says before falling to the ground. We all watched as all the students in the hallway collapsed.
"Kyle!" I say, kneeling next to him.
"Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no." Leo says. He kneels next to Kyle. "Hey, Kyle. Uh, don't worry. It says the stings aren't lethal. You'll just be stunned for ten minutes. In Spain, they call this a siesta." He begins to laugh nervously and then starts crying.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In the gym, Adam and Chase are dueling with their dolls. "Wait! There's a fly on your head." Chase says. Chase whacks the doll out of Adam's hand, and it thuds to the floor. He runs out of the gym as the baby doll cries.
"Are you gonna get the fly or not?" Adam asks. Chase runs into the hallway and sees the flies buzzing around.
"Leo, what's happening?" Chase asks.
"Oh, you know, destroying priceless inventions, unleashed a biohazard, hated by all. Typical Tuesday." Leo says. Adam walks into the hallway.
"Whoa! Look at all those flies!" Adam exclaimed, raising his arm. The flies fly around Adam's baby, and they lift it into the air. "My baby! Somebody do something! Chase, throw your baby up to get mine down!"
"No way!" Chase says.
"But it's gonna get hurt!" Adam says.
"Hurt? Adam, it's a plastic doll." Chase says.
"That is so insensitive." Adam gasps. "To you, he's just a piece of plastic, but to me, he's become a little fake person friend who almost never judges me. I was supposed to look after him, and I failed. I failed you, my little cry hole!"
"Well, I don't care," Chase says. "I'm going to turn mine in, which means I'm gonna win and you're gonna lose. Ha!"
"Yeah, I guess so. Congratulations, Chase." Adam says.
"Thank you. I'm gonna go now." Chase says. "I'm gonna do it. I'm leaving." Adam looks at his doll in the air, whimpering and sniffling.
"Okay, fine, I'll help you!" Chase says. Chase throws his doll into the air to get Adam's down, and it thuds on the ground. The buzzer goes off and the baby cries.
"Thanks, Chase. That really meant a lot to me." Adam says, holding his baby.
"Um-hmm," Chase says, crossing his arms.
"Especially the part where you completely fell for it!" Adam laughs. He kicks Chase's doll and runs away. Chase goes after Adam.
"Help me!" Leo whines as he hid behind Bree and me.
"Are you ready to tell Perry you cheated?" Bree asks.
"Not really, no," Leo says. "Oh, come on! Adam and Chase would cover for me."
"Yeah, and they also turned their babies into breakfast treats," I say.
"Look, Leo, I'm your sister, and it's my job to call you out and hope that you're mature enough to take responsibility," Bree says.
"But I'm not!" Leo says. Bree gives him a look. "Fine. I'll tell Perry."
"Smart move, Leo," I say, putting my hand on his shoulder.
"I'll just use my super speed to create a vacuum effect and suck the flies back into the hive," Bree says.
"What about using your bionics in public?" Leo asks. We looked around at the students on the ground.
"I think we're good," Bree says. Leo hands the fly hive to Bree and opens it. She uses her super speed to suck the flies back into the can, and when they were all inside, Bree closes the hive.
"Wow. That was the fourth weirdest thing I've seen all day." Leo says.
"Speaking of which, number three is still over there waiting for your confession," Bree says, pointing to Perry.
"Great. I have to confess to the wrong end of a pantsuit." Leo says. He walks over to Perry as Kyle, and the students start to get up.
"Principal Perry?" Leo says.
"Who is that? Don't try anything; I can identify you by your stench." Perry says.
"It's me, Leo."
"Ew," Perry says.
"The only reason Bree was talking during the test was because I was using the spy fly to cheat off of her," Leo says. "She didn't deserve to fail; I did."
"Aw, that's nice. I got an itch...unless you're plannin' on scratchin' it, get me off of here!" Perry says. Leo grabs Perry and tries to pull her off the poster, but his foot becomes stuck in the process, and he looks over at Bree and me. Bree and I roll our eyes, and we both grab onto Leo.
"One, two..." Leo counts as we try to pull Leo and Perry off the poster. Once we do, we see that her eyebrows got stuck to the poster.
"Thanks, Dooley. I owe ya one." Perry says.
"Really?" Leo says.
"Yeah...one long, hot trip to summer school!" Perry laughs. "Forgot my eyebrows." Perry grabs her eyebrows from the wall and puts them back on her forehead before leaving.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
In the lab, Adam is rock climbing with several plastic dolls when Chase walks in. "Adam, what are you doing?" Chase asks.
"I got so lonely I had to adopt six new babies. Meet change your own diaper, stop staring at me, quit whining, don't be a baby, I said Shh! And Ted." Adam says.
"Why would you get six babies?" Chase asks.
"Because seven would just be crazy," Adam laughs.
"Adam, this is ridiculous," Chase says.
"You want to borrow one, don't you?" Adam says.
"I'll take Ted," Chase says, grabbing the baby doll from Adam.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A/N: I loved writing this chapter, because this episode was my absolute favorite in season 2! I just loved the parts where Adam and Chase were fighting over their baby dolls. I hoped you guys liked this chapter. Let me know what you think.
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